The Marauding Five : Year Three

AN: Aaah!!!! This is the last chapter for year three!!!! I'm happy!! Wait. I'm sad!!! No, I'm happy! NOO!! I'm upset! I'm- … okay. I can't make up my mind, so bear with this. And yes, last chapter of year three. You can't really expect much from me now, especially when I'm drowned under piles of work and studies -help!- anyway, the chapters were quite long, so you wouldn't kill me, right?

Scrumdidilyumptious… yep! That's one nice word there!!!! And being a buddhist cuz of the Buddha figurines? Sounds interesting there… and you are all right. *sigh* I honestly hadn't even thought of what animal Lily or the fifth Marauder should be. A rabbit would be eaten straight off [eep!], a doe is just too common after the stag, penguin's outta the scene and I think a bear will kill the Shrieking Shack straight off. Oh well, I have a long time to think, since it's only their fifth year the potion will start working. No, my mind is not floppy when I wrote part 7 o_o; just thought they might want a headstart planning for the things. I'm from Malaysia, by the way.

bunny chan

Disclaimer: Whatever that may happen, I will definitely not own the Marauders and whatever it is that doesn't belongs to me, so there.

The Marauding Five : Year Three

Chapter 8: Professor Corn's Curse

Life at Hogwarts went normal for some time. Not exactly normal, but normal to the Hogwarts castle and it's inhabitants. How normal can Hogwarts be if four of it's most excellent students are pranksters? Maybe abnormal might suit for that word.

'So much for homework. And detention! With that stupid professor!' James wailed, stomping down the steps from their Defense Against Dark Arts classroom.

'Of all teachers, why must it be him? I hope he gets sacked,' Lily muttered, half-walking and half-stuffing her things into her bag. It seems to get smaller each day.

'Wonder when can Remus teach? We'll love his lessons!' Sirius said, trying to rid off the upset feeling of having detention with the DADA teacher.

'Hey, I can't even do my work right!' Remus said.

'You beat James!' Lily said in shock.

'And?'

'He's the best. He even beat me…' Lily slumped.

'You aren't too bad yourself,' James said modestly, patting Lily.

'But I want to be the best!' Lily retorted.

'Girls do work at home,' Sirius said, mimicking what a Hufflepuff girl had quoted when she found out that she was at the end of the list.

'Hey!'

'Sorry Li, just kidding! Hey!! I'm just kidding!!!!! Aaaah!' Sirius screamed as Lily pinned him down tightly with her daggers. Everyone laughed as Sirius struggled to get his robes off without tearing it.

'Help me, won't you? Lily, let me out!!' Sirius yelled.

Lily made a face at him.

'Lily Evans!'

She stuck out her tongue.

'LILY ROSE EVANS!!!!!!!!!'

Lily gulped.

'Put him back this instance!'

Shuddering, Lily removed those daggers as Sirius turned to see his savior. It's William Evans.

'What are you doing here again?' James asked.

'What else? Work.'

They only then noticed a little detector with weird aerials pointing everywhere that he was holding. It wasn't quite easy to spot it, since it was so small it could be hidden by the palm, but with the little aerials sticking out, it's easier.

'What's that?' Remus said, advancing to inspect the item. Remus was always interested in anything new.

'Nothing! You kids go back to your dorm. Congratulations, James, for placing first,' William said.

'Lily's upset,' James started.

'Who cares? She is way too sensitive, aren't you, Lily?' William grinned, nudging his daughter. Lily broke into a delicate pout.

'What? That's how you treat your daughter?' Lily asked.

'Don't you dare try that, Lily. You know it'll never work.'

'I hate it when you can read my mind! Did mom gave you her psychic? Huh?' Lily demanded.

'…'

'She did!' Lily wailed. 'And I had to work for mine! So unfair!!!!!!' and the fake tears came.

'Hey, stop pretending, Li. Your dad can see through that,' Sirius said.

'Oh well. I hate it when my family is all psychic now,' Lily muttered. She guard her mind tightly again. Never are they going to know how much she had progressed!

'What's Dumbledore's password this time?' William asked cheerfully, though his grave eyes seem to have a little more serious problem than old meetings.

'Let's see… what is it?' James said thoughtfully.

'You show us what's that first,' Remus said eagerly, pointing at the item William was carrying.

'This? Why?'

'Looked interesting…'

'And maybe could use for a great prank.'

'Great? Sirius, it would be excellent!!'

'Lily, Sirius has a bad head for pranks, remember?'

'Oh yeah…'

'No. You are not to see this,' William said firmly.

'The why're you here?' the four chorused.

'And no use trying other students,' Sirius gleamed.

'We're the only ones that know,' James said proudly.

'Considering that we went there almost every day now,' Lily and Remus both muttered. However hard they tried to keep their saintly faces (they managed at first), it is just too tempting to not play pranks after exams.

'Oh, and the teachers all went for a short holiday at Hogsmeade,' Lily said. William seemed to be considering whether or not should he tell them about the equipment item in his hands. How dangerous can it be if it goes to them. Or what will happened. Finally, he made his decision.

'Sorry kids. I'm an Unspeakable, remember? Now, can you tell me please?' William asked. The four frowned as Remus pulled his wand secretly from his back.

'We can tell you where is it,' Lily grinned, an idea creeping into her mind as it was sent as fast as that to the other three.

'Lead the way,' William sighed. Talking with the four of them is like talking with the court, however that was. But the four would do well together as lawyers in the muggle world if they study for law.

They led him to Dumbledore's office and stopped before the gargoyle, which was newly decorated with various streamers of all colors, balloons, ice-creams (those that never melts) and colored to look like a clown. The gargoyle looked in a pitiful state and seemed as if it had been standing there for ages like a man who was with a carnival, selling balloons, ice-creams and all.

The Marauders grinned their grin. The mischievous and yet truthful-looking grin before letting William up to it.

William stared. Okay, the password. What did Lily said when she said Dumbledore liked what sweet? Um, something like lemon seeds? Or was it toothpaste flour? Uh, maybe it's lemon? Ugh, who'd like that sort of sweet anyway? Yuck!

'Go on, give it a try,' Sirius said.

'Uh, toothpaste flour?'

'Nope,' Lily said.

Okay think. Rose gave you some of her psychic powers. Use it on… (he scanned the Marauders) Lily! Yep! Rose says Lily's psychic is very weak and quite harmless! Okay, now, concentrate… let me in, let me in, let me in…

'Dad, if that's how you use the psychic powers, that's wrong,' Lily said.

'Um, huh?' William said.

'You didn't practice. And you don't know how to use it.'

'Oh, okay.'

Great. Your daughter is telling you that you'd fail a psychic test for kindy? How wonderful. Now, I'm sure there's a password. Lets see… if I can't read Lily's mind, James' will do.

Unknown to William, James was another one with a really tight security.

'I'm getting tired standing,' James said.

Okay, time to change target. Ah! Remus!

'Uncle, I thought you're in a hurry? Or would you wanna give us this device instead?' Remus asked. Somehow, Lily had asked him to guard his head tight…

Argh!!!!! What on earth kids are up to these days??? I can't even get into Remus' mind? Okay, I won't go on Sirius'. If I even break in his, I might fall tumbling. Rose once said that Sirius' mind gives her the aches and made her feel dizzy.

'Um, lemon seeds?' William said to the gargoyle.

It shook it's head.

'Kids, maybe you should tell- huh? Hey, where are you?' William asked.

'We're bored, so we're down already,' Sirius' voice called.

'Maybe you should let him in,' Dumbledore's voice floated.

'I want that device!' Remus protested.

'We can get it from him,' Lily assured.

'No problem! Just item-nap it!' James said.

William checked his hand for the device. True enough, it was gone.

'Hey!!!!!'

'William?' Dumbledore said. 'The password is lemon seed.'

'I told this stupid gargoyle that!'

'That was Lemon seeds. No "s".'

'Stupid gargoyle,' William muttered before placing a charm on it.

'You know, the four had decorated it enough already,' Dumbledore said, a twinkle shining brightly.

Accordingly, the four Marauders bowed.

'Sorry if they were such a problem to you,' William said, shooting a warning look at them.

'You're another problem when you were in my house.'

William grinned sheepishly as the kids shot him a cat-that-ate-the-canary look. Ohoho! Here's something to tease all their parents about! If Lily's dad were a problem before, the others are bound to be just the same, since, according to their motto, it's "All for one and one for all".

'Now, why are you here?' Dumbledore asked.

'I'd rather them not here,' William shot a look at the teenagers. They smiled innocently.

'Out,' William said again.

'Hey! You said you'd rather us not here!' James said.

'Out!'

'It's rather not not here,' Lily said.

'Out!'

'Na-ah! You're playing cheat,' Sirius said.

'Now!'

'Fine, we're not here!' Remus said.

William sighed in relief before seating himself down opposite Dumbledore. He waited for the door to be closed. It closed, but not the way he had expected it to be.

'Kids-' Lily's father started.

'Nope. It's either Marauders or teenagers. Do we look like five year old toddlers?' James said.

'And we said we're not here, so start talking,' Lily said, dropping onto the couch.

Remus and Sirius nodded eagerly. Remus, to find out what the device Mr Evans is holding and Sirius, to find out what has to be so important that an Unspeakable has to come to the school. Sirius is one of those to put their nose into where they are not concerned, but he isn't the only one. In fact, all the Marauders are; but Sirius is the most active one.

William muttered things to Dumbledore and he pulled out the device, which seemed to rattle. Remus strained his ears, but caught nothing. Pity his werewolf senses weren't quite useful when he's human. Remus shuddered. Not that he didn't want to, but wolf's senses are sometimes very useful.

In the end, Dumbledore nodded and William left. Curious, the four crowded straight to the table; not after William shooting warning looks and glares a Lily for not telling him the password to the Head Master's office. To him, it's a crime and Evans shouldn't be caught – however mischievous they are – doing it. But the Potters and Blacks would celebrate alright.

'So, what is it about?' James started.

'Why's he here?' Lily asked.

'What's that stuff he's holding?' Remus queried eagerly.

'What did he say?' Sirius asked, pulling out a notebook.

Dumbledore stared blankly at them for a moment.

'Well, you could do me a favor and get me Professor Corn, please?'

This time, it's the Marauders' turned to stare.

'Huh?'

'Can you get Professor Corn please? Thank you.'

'Oh, okay.'

And still puzzled, they marched out of the office, each with a few questions in mind. What had William Evans said that made Dumbledore call for Corn? And what is that rattling device that he had brought? Why is an Unspeakable in the school, without half the Ministry with him? And what had their DADA teacher had anything to do with this whole event?

They turned a few steps absent mindedly all around the castles, avoiding the little traps the castle had planted especially for them, rattled some sleeping portraits, bang a few armors and finally, reached their destination. Professor Corn's office. Remus pushed the door open.

The room seemed to give an odd sort of smell, and beanies and soft toys were all around the room, just as it had been the days when the Marauders came for their detentions. Speaking of detentions…

'Ah, here for it already huh?' Corn said. His lips were tugging into a sneer and sneaky smile. Now, Lily asked herself, why am I feeling that something bad is going to happen pretty soon?

'Here for what?' Sirius asked.

'Why, detention, of course!' Corn replied. He gestured them to a seat, but neither of them took it. Somehow, something definitely felt weird. They hadn't came to this office – wait. They refused to come – ever since their last second year. Over the year, the room changed a lot. The only thing that remained in place are those plushed toys.

'Are we here for it?' Remus asked.

'I don't recall,' James said.

The smell seemed to smell like dead meat. The type that has a rotten smell along with everything. Lily could easily picture dripping drops of blood from the walls, when just a picture flashed before her mind.

'Well, sit down, and tell me what is there you want,' Corn said impatiently, showing the couch. Trusting herself, Lily marched straight to a nearby chair without even touching the couch at all. The Marauders followed her example.

'Nope, we're not normal students. We wanna be treated like adults,' James said, to Corn's furiously red face.

'Oh, and Dumbledore's after you,' Sirius said in a sing-song voice. 'What did you do? Turn your toy into a real animal?'

At this, the DADA teacher paled horribly. His lips turned into a weird color of blue and his eyes' pupils contracted with fear.

'Maybe he wants to fire you,' Lily said helpfully.

'If he dare do that,' Corn snapped, 'There shall be a curse!'

They shranked at this a little.

'Still, buzz off to find him first,' Remus said. Corn's tip-tapping of the highly soled and heavy boots went off with the echoes as they sighed a breathe of relief before allowing themselves to look around.

'The toys are still here,' Lily muttered.

'Stupid. He thinks he's a kid,' James mumbled.

'Hey! I only have Seriously Sirius; and that was my fourth b'day present from you!' Sirius defended.

'Yeah, we know, but who's this obsessive with toys?' Remus asked.

'This room smelled like a rotten egg,' James commented, scrunching up his nose.

'Same as Corn. He's a rotten egg,' Lily replied.

'This room looked creepy,' Sirius said.

'Same as Corn. He has this ugly teeth,' Lily replied.

'This room has a kinda smell I couldn't place. Not rotten egg, but something else,' Remus said, sniffing in more.

'What?'

'It smelled more like something that is rotten and burnt.'

'Ugh. Don't even go there.'

'Yuck! Re, how could you think of that? Huh? It's disgusting!'

'Yes, but it's true! And why did he looked angry when we sat on chairs; not couch?'

'I think something's up.'

'And he seemed quite nervous when we tell him to go to Dumbledore.'

'Right.'

'And who keeps this?'

Sirius was holding up a slim toy snake, green and dangly. It had a scaly looking body, two narrow slits for eyes and it's nose were more like two dots only. Lily laughed a little.

'That looks so much like Voldemort's! Remember? The one that brought him into the castle and out?'

'Yeah,' James said. He pulled out his wand before poking at it. Suddenly, something rattled and shook in Remus' pockets as the boy jumped with fright. Sirius looked around, expecting something, someone, to come and tell them off.

'What happened? Who? What? Where? Why?' Sirius jumped.

'Relax! It's only the stuff I duplicated! The thing Lily's dad is holding!' Remus said, pulling out the device, which is now practically jumping up and down by now.

'What's this anyway?' Lily asked.

'You're the one that's Psychic, so ask it!' James retorted.

'How do you ask an item?'

'…'

'See?'

'Shut that thing up! It's buzzing and screaming now!' Sirius said, pointing out the obvious. True enough, it was buzzing and yelling loudly, unlike William's, which just rattled. James pulled his wand away from the snake before touching it on the device. Somehow, the sound stopped.

'What?'

'What's this?'

'Remus?'

'How should I know?'

'You're the one that's so anxious to learn about it!'

'Oh. Right.'

Remus then transfigured a few tools with the help of a couple of quills before testing the item – whatever it is – by touching all the soft toys. Oddly, it only reacted to one. The green snake that looked almost real. The four puzzled over this.

If they bring it to Dumbledore, they'll be punished by William for duplicating his stuff, since Dumbledore will most likely tell on them. If they try and solve this alone … only Merlin knows what'll happen to them. They had faced Voldemort just a couple of weeks ago and the dark wizard wasn't much heard of these days. If they leave everything as it is, well, one nice adventure is lost.

They waited and thought, finally deciding that they can take the risk of telling Dumbledore. Receiving scoldings from William maybe is better than anything, since they had gotten so used to it that somehow, it seemed as if a spell is placed on them already.

They walked back to Dumbledore's office without any attention directed towards them. Remus had hammered the device (which turned out to be not-hammer-durable) and they tied the green snake to a stick, just in case. If an Unspeakable's item react to this, it might be dangerous to carry by hand.

'Lemon seed,' James called before it jumped aside to admit their entrance into the secret office.

Just as expected, Corn is here and arguing with Dumbledore.

'But what's the proof?'

'Gamonde, Evans came to me-'

'Howdy! We disturbing?' Lily greeted.

'Evans came and you believed her?' Corn said in disbelief.

'Gamonde-'

'I have grant service to Hogwarts for thirteen years, and I am sacked by a mere child of thirteen?'

'Gamonde-'

'Professor, that is totally unbelievable!'

'Yes, very unpredictable,' Lily said solemnly.

'What's unpredictable?' Corn asked.

'You.'

'What me?'

'You helped Voldemort into this castle!' Lily accused.

'WHAT?! Evans, have you any idea what are you saying?'

'Looks like Lily's hope on getting rid of him might come true,' James whispered to Sirius.

'Yeah. And we might get to appoint Remus as our new DADA teacher,' Sirius giggled.

'Professor Dumbledore, I agree that we should fire him!' Lily announced in a grown up-like way.

Remus took out a jar of purple flames before setting it on Corn, who yelped.

'Not this fire, Remus!' James laughed.

Sirius then held out a rifle, ready to 'fire' at any moment. Lily quickly pulled it away from him.

'No, not this too!' Lily panicked.

'How can I ever be sacked by a group of thirteen year old wizards?' Corn wailed.

'Correction: Wizards and witches,' Lily said.

'Gamonde!' Dumbledore said at last. Keeping patience for too long isn't good.

'Yes, Professor?'

'You are fired!' Dumbledore yelled. Why must it be so hard to just say that three letter sentence?

'NOOOOOO!!!!! Why? Why why why?'

'Dumbledore, we found this,' James said, pulling out the green snake. Corn gasped at the sight of it.

'What?'

'Well, um, we sorta duplicate the item Lily's dad brought-'

'And when we touched this snake, it sorta jumped-'

'And we suspect something-'

'Since Remus couldn't find out what's wrong with that stuff he duplicated.'

'What is it anyway?' Remus asked.

'It's called a Dark Detector, and I do not think teenagers of thirteen should be holding it,' Dumbledore said, pulling the snake on the stick from James before examining it closely. The group smiled sheepishly as Corn turned as white as a ghost – maybe a dracula – as Dumbledore started prodding the snake with his wand.

'Gamonde? What's this?' Dumbledore asked.

'Uh, some toy?' Corn answered weakly.

'But that thing – whatever detector – rang, uh, jumped!' Remus protested.

'Lets see…' Dumbledore said, finally tapping the snake and muttering a few silent words.

Poof!

A scaly green garden snake was slithering gracefully on it's own on the floor, waving about here and there, left and right. It's eyes were blood red and it's abdomen was as white as can be. It looked almost ghastly and frightened them (the Marauders) for a moment or two. It slid towards Lily.

'No! Not me! Why me?' Lily wailed, quickly scrambling onto the desk. Corn just snickered.

'Call him off!' Sirius ordered to Corn.

'Now, why should I, Black?' Corn sneered.

'Oh, and why is it in your room in the first place? Kid-dult?' Remus snorted at Sirius' words.

'James, just get it off from Lily,' Remus said to the boy, who was staring at the snake with awe expression.

'Um, how? Much as I'd like to help, I can't seem to find a way,' James said.

'Idiot! Talk to it!' Lily yelled from her place. She let out another scream as the snake turned to slither near her. 'Why me? Why why why? Why must it always be me to get these weird animals about? Why?'

'Go on, James!' Remus urged. He turned to Sirius, who was still arguing pointless and definitely not offensive words at the DADA professor. 'Sirius, stop it!'

'Huh?' Sirius said.

'Help Lily,' Remus said.

'Why not you? I mean-'

Remus coughed a little before holding out a little calender and pointing at a day (yesterday) with a white circle on it.

'Oh, fine. You seemed in condition anyway,' Sirius muttered as James tried talking to the snake.

'Um, Mr Snake?' James started.

Hiss.

'What? Toodlekinns-Winklelynns-Triddlepinns?'

Nod.

'That's a long one. Can you leave Lily alone?'

Shake.

'Why not?'

Hiss, spat, hiss, hiss, spat and the little speech ended up with a tongue slither from the snake.

'But why can't you help it?'

Yet another series of hisses.

'Don't tell the world!' James snaped.

'What did it say?' Dumbledore asked.

'Um, nothing! Nothing at all of importance!'

'But you said "don't tell the world"'

'Yes, but I meant um, something else.'

'Oh, okay.'

Another long hiss as James nodded his head.

'Okay, thanks a lot! Hope to chat with you soon!' James waved cheerily. The snake slithered out of sight as James made sure Lily was at least five feet away from it.

'It told you THAT? I didn't know stuffed toys are that smart,' Lily mused.

'Wha? Oh, you can-'

Lily and Remus struggled to clamp his mouth shut. This time, James is the one who has his tongue running wild.

'Shut up!' Sirius hissed.

'Lemme go!!!!!!' James cried. They let him go. 'He-' James pointed at Corn – 'is a Death Eater.'

Stares were exchanged from Dumbledore to Corn and to James.

'James? You okay? Or had the conversation with that animal blinded you?' Sirius asked.

'I'm fine, Si. The snake – Toodlekinns-Winklelynns-Triddlepinns – told me that Corn's a Death Eater!'

'What a name for a snake…'

'Really bad. Hey, give him a better name!'

'And Toodlekinns-Winklelynns-Triddlepinns said that Corn turned him real with Dark arts.'

'Sad thing… poor toy.'

'He had to assist Voldemort to the castle as the "connector" between the two places.'

Lily, Sirius and Remus were having tears welling up in their eyes as their lips quivered sadly.

'And was abused after that.'

The four burst into pails of fake tears.

'Gamonde…'

'Surely, surely you don't believe them?' Corn asked Dumbledore cautiously.

'How dare you!' Sirius shouted suddenly, jumping on the teacher – ahem. Ex-teacher.

'You dare tell us that James is lying?' Lily jumped.

'He can talk with ani-' Remus said, but was cut off with a loud cry of pain from his foot. Lily, James and Sirius had tredded on it.

'Whose tongue's running now?' Lily whispered.

'Sorry.'

'Give us Veritaserium – um, I mean James – and he can prove it!' Lily said. If she is given that truth potion… uh-oh! Adios to her secret powers!

'Don't bother. I believe you,' Dumbledore said to them. Corn gaped in disbelief.

'You can tell by their eyes, that they are not lying,' Dumbledore said to him.

'If I'm ever fired,' Corn said warningly, 'you will never find an ever staying Defense Against Dark Arts professor. Ever!'

With that, he stomped off in his heavy boots, robe billowing after him. He stopped halfway.

'And oh yes, I forgot,' Corn sneered, waving his wand. Laughing his head off, he walked off. If they had time to wonder the sanity percentage in his mind, they would, but now they are trapped in walls. Not ordinary walls, but fire walls.

'Okay Li, your turn to do something,' James said as he tried to run away from the flaming tongues of the red fire.

'Do what?' Lily asked desperately. 'And why me?'

'Put it off! And cause you're-' Sirius clamped his own mouth. 'Okay, you got the message so do it!'

'Dumbledore?' Lily said.

'Passed out from the flames. This one has smokes you don't wanna smell, let alone an old man!' Remus said, magicking a mask to protect himself.

'Lily!'

'But what?? Nothing I learnt can help in this!' Lily whined.

'Try transfiguring!' Sirius suggested.

'Can't. Won't last long enough to put this off.'

'Got a smarter idea then?'

'Ah! I remembered a spell!'

'What are you waiting for, then? Use it! Unless you wanna be a barbecued meat at the age of thirteen!'

'Okay, okay! Aquaris!'

Water gushed out from Remus' wand as he threw it at the nearing tongues of flames. It gave a sizzle before dropping into ashes. Remus did the same to each and ever "corner" of the fire walls and all ended up the same way.

'Nice and easy does the trick!' Remus said cheerfully.

'Pity it took us a long time to remember it,' James muttered.

'What sorta powder is this?' Lily said, taking some ashes.

'They're ashes,' Sirius said.

'Really? Sorry, nope. They smell like something though.'

'Who cares? They couldn't be much use now, can they?'

'Not exactly. Gram taught me that some powders can be reused again and again. Might come useful,' Lily said, pulling out a plastic from her pocket before filling all the powder-ashes into it. The black powder seemed to be glaring a little when Lily clipped the mouth of the plastic.

'There!' she exclaimed triumphantly.

'Good job!' Dumbledore commented.

'You awake? Why didn't you help?' Sirius fumed.

'Thought I'd give you some experience first.'

The four rolled their eyes at him.

**

'- and now, we begin the feast!' Dumbledore said as cheers whooped around the Great Hall.

'About time already!' Sirius whined from his seat as he dug greedily into his food.

'Well, sorry to have bore you by an old man's wheezing,' Dumbledore laughed.

'No. You starved us!' Lily complained. 'Anyway, the food's good today.'

'So much better than that – what? – cereal porridge,' Tally muttered.

'Is it even porridge? And what sorta cereal is it?' Dan said.

'Wet cabbages?' Thomas suggested.

Both Tally and Dan held their tongues out in disgust.

'Don't even go there!' Sirius said, holding his head.

'Why not?'

'I hate cabbages…'

'Oh, Sirius the Great Eater hates something? Cool!'

'It's news!' Sita said.

'No. I hate carrots also, stupid vegetables.'

'Same here,' James said.

'Sssh!! It's time for the Quidditch – uh, I mean House – champion!' Nina hushed.

'How can there be Quidditch cup when the practices are cancelled?' Remus mumbled.

'For our house championship,' Dumbledore started. Deep breathes were all over. Who will be the winner? Gryffindor, again? For the third time in row? Well, anything is better than Slytherin…

'Gryffindor! Gryffindor!!' Sirius and Lily yelled happily.

'Nope. Sorry kids,' Dumbledore said with a twinkle. They fell, disappointed. 'It's Godric Gryffindor.'

'That's about the same!' Remus cut.

'Yeah, but Re, he said that Gryffindor just wo – WHAT? We won??? Hurray!!!!!' James cheered.

'You're slow,' Pertsy commented.

'Who's fast all the time?' Remus challenged.

'… Okay. You have a point.'

'Hah!'

'I know who's fast!' Tally jumped.

'Who?'

'Lily!!'

Remus scoffed. 'At studies, James is, Lily nope.'

'I detest that!' Lily said, hitting Remus teasingly.

Remus just poked a tongue at her. 'Liar!'

'Never lied!'

'You did, when you broke your mom's best flowerpot,' James said.

'Nope!'

'You said it fell off when Petunia ran over it,' Sirius said.

'No!'

'And the time with ol' Master? Boy, Mrs Lesphie's almost frightened to death when you said it got hitten by a car, when actually it turned blue,' Remus laughed.

'That's a white lie!'

'Lie is a lie.'

'Tisn't!'

'Tis!'

'Tisn't!'

'Tis!'

'Where's Corn?' Pertsy asked, looking around.

'Oh, got fired by Dumbledore.'

'WHAT? Dumbledore has a muggle metal?? He's burnt to death?'

'No, Dumbledore has no gun.'

'You said "fire" and in muggle terms, it means pointing a metal wand and it goes BANG!' Dan said.

The Marauders looked at each other.

'In easy terms, we won't see him forever,' Lily said dismissively.

'See whoooooooo-oooo-oooo?' Peeves sang as he came waltzing – uh, floating – in.

'Corn,' Sirius said shortly.

'Yes, I'd like some.'

'No, not that maize. Corn. Gamande Corn,' James said.

'What? Jamaican Corn?'

'No no no! It's a freezing corn!' Remus said.

'It's Gamande.'

'Definitely Jamaican?' Peeves said.

'It's Kentucky!'

'I thought corns came from East?'

'What went into your head, Sirius? It's America!'

'And so says Lily Evans, Queen of all Liars.'

'I don't lie! Well, maybe a few white lies, but not black ones!'

'Enough already!!!! Look at Snape!' James shouted. In response, all heads turned to the greasy-haired, hooked-nose Slytherin.

'What?' the other three said. James just urged them to look on. Snape turned into a very small, chick-sized hawk. No, not hawk. More of a mutilated hawk. It had black grease-filled feathers, sharp eyes of two colors (oddly, gold and red), a very hooky nose that points up and down, 90° and legs way too small to support it's size. Snape tumbled over his short feet.

Half the Slytherins stared as everyone burst out laughing. Halley walked briskly over before sending the mutilated chick-hawk to Madam Pomfrey, who thought that it was a trick by Halley to be pulled at her for the fun of it. She refused to even touch it ('It's too greasy! And not even real, maybe!' Pomfrey protested) until Snape pulled a quill from her table to write "Help! Potter turned me into this!"

'Into this? James Potter is really good in transfiguration,' Pomfrey said cautiously. 'Turning someone into a half mutilated chick-hawk is definitely not his standard.'

"Who cares? Now heal me!"

'No. Not if you are that demanding. And how should I know? Maybe Halley put a spell so you can write!'

"Oh yeah? Then I want you to know that you're a stupid, egoistical, feather-headed, lousiest, most cruel matron ever!"

'Really? Maybe I should take a leaf out of that Potter group's book and start cursing you?'

"Don't you dare!!!!"

'Fine with me. I'm tired of playing with you. Boingo sa no!' Pomfrey said, tapping her wand. Snape went bouncing down the castle, and would be knocked dead if it weren't for his miniature wings. But as soon as he neared the Infirmary window, Pomfrey was shaking out bits from her frying pan, thus, accidentally hitting him right down to the lower window.

'Did I hit something?' Pomfrey said as she tried to recall.

'Poppy? Have you made back Severus?' Halley called.

'Oh, Holly. No. I think I tossed that ugly animal down the window.'

'You WHAT?!'

'You heard it alright.'

And with that, Halley dropped onto a nearby bed. Just as Pomfrey was fanning the professor back to consiousness, four people walked by, each of them grinning broadly.

'How's Snape? Thought we'd come send his clothes,' James grinned, pulling out a pair of black robes and wizard hat.

This time, Pomfrey fell on top of Halley, just as she awoke.

'Guess he was gone?' Sirius said.

'Can I come in now?' Lily asked outside.

'Nope. No Snape. Yeah, come on in,' Sirius said.

'How can I trust you?'

'He's right, Lily,' Remus said.

'How should I know? You're turning mental like Sirius!'

'Okay, then you can come in,' James said. Lily bounced in to look around.

'Where's he anyway?'

'I'll bet anything that Pomfrey got mad and killed him,' Sirius laughed, holding out the parchment on which Snape had written his conversation with the matron.

'Heaven!' James grinned

'Cool! She saved our neck!' Remus said.

Lily didn't rejoice.

'I just wished she really did. She just threw him out and he flew back, only to fall into the lower window.'

'Let's just find him and bury him!' Sirius suggested.

'Nah! We'll burn him!' James said.

'Didn't you read our History of Magic book? We can't burn witches or wizards since we're resisting those flames!' Lily said.

'Yeah whatever. Use your psychic?' Remus said. 'Ow!'

'Sssh!'

'Okay, I will.'

And at the lower window, we see Severus Snape, the mutilated chick-hawk, found half his feathers (aka hair) burnt into ashes next to him.

AN: okay, any complains? I'm writing the last part when I'm suffering from school work and after Chinese New Year, so be nice and please, pretty please, review for me? I know I was bored and everything, making the story a bore, but I really do hope you liked this!! And no, I am not sick, in case you're wondering my sanity. I'm having flu though, so I'm under medication. Ack! Homework!! What torture!! Year four after my rest for a week, okie? Promise! I'm sure my flu'll get better by that time. Having a bad time here… achhoooo! 'scuse me… *grabs a tissue*