One Fantasy to Live: Part Two
Everybody is shocked and surprised when Quistis and Irvine return from their Las Vegas vacation, it was like the icing on the cake. They returned married by the finest Elvis impersonator him self. Since we last saw our hero's they all have shacked up except Laguna, Seifer, and Edea. Story fades in with Irvine and Quistis walking to Garden, which is currently located near Edea's house.
Irvine extremely wasted: Were almost their, husband.
Quistis still very drunk: Yeah, wife. Huhhuu.
They approach the group.
Quistis: Hey lovebirds!
Irvine: I guess we aren't the only ones that have gotten together in the last few days, huh?
Selphie pulls away from Zell.
Selphie: But Irvine I thought…
Irvine: Don't think too hard, your cup size might reduce.
Quistis and Irvine leave laughing.
Zell: What's wrong double stuffed?
Selphie: I can't believe you. Do you care at all about my feelings?
Zell: Is it that time of the month or something?
Selphie: Asshole!
Selphie walks away in a hissy fit.
Story switches to Squall and Rinoa kissing passionately.
Rinoa: What are we going to do Squally, I'm the Sorceress and I'm pregnant with Seifer's baby?
Squall: Well Rinoa, all be your knight.
Rinoa: You used that line already it didn't work then and it didn't work now.
Squall: Do you even know what sex is?
Rinoa: Of course I do silly!
Rinoa leans over to whisper in his ear. Squall walks away laughing.
Rinoa: What did I say?
Story switches to Quistis and Irvine (in the HOT TUB)
Quistis: Irvine, I'm kind of tired I mean most guys would be spent after the 50Th time. Do you think we could take a break?
Irvine: Yeah, I'm kind of tired too. Not to mention I'm starving for some pie.
Quistis gets out of the tub and wraps a towel around her self and then heads down the hall to her room.
Story switches to the Man-Whore Mansion.
Rinoa: Edea, I have a question for you.
Edea: Yes my child?
Rinoa: What's sex?
Edea whispers into her ear.
Rinoa: SAY WHAT!
Edea: What.
Rinoa: Eww, doesn't that hurt?
Edea: The first time, but after that you get used to it.
Rinoa: Well how do I know what to do?
Edea: Do you want to practice on one of my man-whores?
Rinoa: I kind of wanted my first time to be with Squall.
Edea: Say no more, I have the answer to all your problems. Squall look alike, get in here!
Squall look alike walks in wearing nothing but leather HOT PANTS.
Rinoa: I guess I can sort of see the resemblance, but it will still take some imagination for it to work.
Story switches to Selphie caressing a picture of Irvine with her hand.
Selphie: My beloved Irvine, why did you leave me for that Bitch Quistis? What dose she have that I don't except for brains, self-respect, a high paying job, and blonde hair! Ditz!
What she didn't know was Irvine was listening behind a corner.
Seifer comes in and grabs her by her flipped hair.
Selphie: What the hell! Never knew a guy who wanted it that badly!
Seifer: Come with me.
Selphie: I may be stupid, but I don't give it away.
Seifer: Ok listen up you Horny Ditz! I don't think that Gay ass Irvine, are resident hick deserves angelic Quistis, that's My teacher! Now you want him so badly, so here's the plan you and me hook up and make a beautiful phony relationship. Got it?
Selphie: Umm, I guess so.
Seifer and Selphie go off with some Crisco and chains.
Story switches to Zell and Laguna talking.
Laguna: Hah, so Selphie finely dumped you too.
Zell: No she didn't!
Laguna: Then what's this I hear about her and Seifer? Don't have to worry about my son, he found him a good women, that purtie' girl in blue, what's her name?
Zell: Rinoa.
Laguna: Yeah, I think. But hey Selphie dumped your pansy ass.
Zell: Whatever man, but she dumped you first.
Laguna: But did you guys even do it?
Zell: No. So what though?
Laguna starts laughing. Selphie approaches Zell and Laguna.
Zell: There's the double stuffing whore her self.
Selphie: No I don't! Here, go ahead and feel.
Zell feels Selphie up.
Selphie: You can stop now.
Zell: Tease! You could have at least said we did it!
Selphie whips out her Nunchuks and fights Zell off.
Seifer walks by.
Seifer: Chicken-Wuss
Seifer leaves.
Selphie: Hellz no, and have my reputation ruined, fat chance!
Everyone giggles uncontrollably.
Story switches to Squall as Quistis approaches him.
Quistis: You know I look in your eyes and I still think of how much I care for you. You always knew that, didn't you? I feel like you can see right through me.
Squall: Whatever
Quistis: Why Squall, why did nothing ever happen between us?
Squall: You were always there to guide and protect me, like and older sister. I could never think of you that way. Why do you bring this up now anyway?
Quistis: Just forget it Squall! Ok!
Quistis walks away seeking Rinoa.
Story switches to Moomba and Angelo.
Moomba: Hey Angelo, why haven't we been spying on people, or asking too many questions?
Angelo grunts meaning he doesn't know why.
Moomba: Let's get cracking then, after another round or two, k?
Angelo grunts in agreement.
Story switches to Rinoa as Quistis approaches her.
Rinoa: What's wrong Quistis?
Quistis: What's wrong?! I'm lonely, sad and desperate. The man I love is in love with a total ditz and there's nothing I can do about it!
Rinoa: Oh you mean Irvine is all over Selphie?
Quistis: NO! You and Squall! I can't take it anymore. You're going down Bitch!
Rinoa: What you want to take My man! Want to make something of it?
Quistis: You know it you little Sorceress wannabe! I never liked you even from the start!
Rinoa: Come here and say that!
Irvine walks in with a big smile on his face.
Irvine: CATFIGHT!
Everyone comes running in.
Squall: Whatever.
Zell: Ten Gill on Rinoa!
Irvine: Twenty Gill on Quistis!
Laguna: I'm in!
Quistis jumps at Rinoa, pulling at her hair.
Rinoa: Gonna Bitch slap your ass!
Quistis: Not if I don't get you first!
Rinoa cast Ultima. Quistis falls back.
Laguna: Damn Sonny, you got your self a feisty one.
Quistis whips Rinoa across her arm, Rinoa screams in pain.
Rinoa: Hells Judgement!
Quistis struggles in pain.
Quistis: Shockwave Pulsar!
Rinoa: Hah! Is that all Squall's worth to you, you weak Bitch!
Quistis: Come on everybody she's a Sorceress we're SeeDs, it's our destiny to fight her!
Irvine: Sorry, Quistis she's are Commanders girlfriend, can't touch her, but I know Squallys gonna be pissed!
Quistis: Did you just say Squally? That's it Irvine I'm tired of your bad grammar! I am dumping your hick ass!
Irvine: Ok!
Quistis casts Megailixer.
Zell: But who won!?
Laguna: Who cares let's go get drunk!
Story switches to Quistis, Zell, Laguna, Seifer, and Squall. They have all decided to get drunk in FH. Quistis' on her third, Zell's on his fifth, Laguna is about to pass out, Seifer is on his tenth, and Squall is on his second Seltzer water.
Laguna have way falling off his chair: You know, I used to be great things. President Laguna they'd call me, of the smart country. Yeah, so smart they kicked me out for being incompetent.
Where's Kiros and Ward now, huh. Yeah, well I have a son, and he's the Commander of Seed.
Laguna stops his rambling and just falls over, finally.
Seifer walks out extremely drunk and disgruntled.
Zell: Hey Quistis, you look fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinne.
Laguna magically gets up.
Laguna: Yeah, baby got baack!
Quistis: Hey, I have an idea!
Zell: What, we go do it?
Quistis: Yeah and Laguna can come too.
Quistis giggles, because of the idea that popped up in her head. She led a very drunk Laguna and Zell to a dark closet, and closed the door behind her as she walked away with Laguna and Zell still in the closet.
Story switches to Selphie, she is crying on top of Irvine's picture, as he walks in.
Selphie: What do you want Irvine?
Irvine bends down on one knee.
Irvine: I heard everything Selphie. I'm so sorry I ever left you. I miss your pre-adolesent smile; your dirt colored hair, your naïve way to you, and your carefree attitude towards everything. I'm a new monogamous man. Please Selphie, I I I lo lo love you!
Selphie: Really Irvy!
Irvine: You bet your chest yes!
Selphie jumps up and puts her legs around Irvine's waist.
Story switches to Rinoa, Zell walks up to her.
Zell: Hey I'm not gay, ok.
Rinoa: Yeah. Zell, I'm not feeling good, could you just leave me alone.
Zell: I'm sorry about what happened that went way too far, ya know.
Rinoa: It isn't your fault Quistis' a Bitch.
Zell: I know, but I'm just sorry you had to go through that.
Rinoa: Thanks Zell.
Zell moves a little closer to Rinoa.
Rinoa: Uhh, really I'm fine now, Zell.
Zell: Well, just as long as you know I'm here for you.
Zell gets a little closer and puts his arm around Rinoa.
Rinoa: Zell, are you trying to look down my frock!
Rinoa slaps Zell and runs away crying.
Zell yelled after her: I'm always here for you!
Story switches to Squall and Rinoa talking.
Rinoa: I really missed you Squally.
Squall: What would I do with out you. Everyone around here is jacked up.
Rinoa: I have something to confess, my first time was with a man-whore look alike of you.
Squall: Well, I have something to confess too. The man-whore was I.
Rinoa: Really? I was going to confess he was cuter.
Squall puts his hand on his head.
Squall: Whatever.
Just then Selphie runs in.
Selphie: Hey Squall, hey Rinoa. Tee hee, come with me.
Squall: Whatever, Selphie.
Squall and Rinoa follow Selphie to two double doors. They open to darkness, but when the lights go on the room is decorated extremely tacky. In the background Brian McKnight's Back to One is blaring. Everyone sighs except for Rinoa who giggles in delight.
Everyone: Surprise!
Rinoa: Come on Squally, let's dance!
Squall: Stop calling me Squally.
Rinoa drags Squall out to the center and begins slow dancing.
Everyone: Aww, how cute.
Story switches to Seifer talking to Quistis.
Seifer: Why don't we hook up? Your smart, I'm smart, I'm brave, and you have a big chest. It would all work out.
Quistis: 'Cause I'm married, and hate you if you remember the game!
Seifer walks away and bumps into Laguna.
Seifer: This blows, everyone has someone, except for us!
Laguna: Actually, lots of people are alone.
Seifer: I'm a hot stud in my prime and now this!
Laguna: Uhh, yeah. Hey! I have an idea. How about we bring Ultamecia back to life, that bitch was hot!
Seifer: Not as hot as Jennifer Lopez!
Laguna: Your telling me! But that would teach those lovebirds!
Seifer: Yeah man! Hey, you're ok for Squall's father.
Laguna under his breath: Die Esthar, die for what you did for me!
Story switches to Moomba, Angelo, as Irvine, Selphie, and Zell joins them.
Zell: I'm not gay, even if I did it with Laguna.
Moomba: Could've fooled me.
Zell: Hey Selphie, what do you think of us getting back together?
Selphie: No, but how about a three some?
Zell: Deal!
Selphie, Irvine and Zell go off.
Story switches to Squall and Rinoa, they are finally alone.
Squall: What?! Your pregnant with my baby!!!!!!!!!!
Elle's Author note: After revising this story for the last few hours I can say I'm finely satisfied with it. Oh yeah there's gonna be a third one!
FuFuDevile's Author note: We spent like three hours acting this out with the action figures, and it was even funnier then, plus we did more with them. (Don't get any ideas) Yeah, and Elle wouldn't let me completely destroy the characters. Now that would have been entertainment. Hey I understand though I'd really get really pissed if somebody did that to the X-Files.