A/N: Thank you minna who reviewed my story!!! And they were nice reviews too!! YAY!!! And since all you nice people decided to review my story i've written chapter 1 faster then i usually do... :) (Try a one month period before the next chapter comes out! ^^;;;) Anyways... i won't bug you ppls anymore! SO... enjoy!!!!!---
~*~Heart's Desire~*~
-Chapter 1-
::Ugh… I have one bitch of a headache:: Tifa groaned as she blinked, the sunlight streaming into her eyes. She rubbed her temples, the headache still wouldn't go away. ::I need some heavy dosage of Advil:: She got up and as she did she noticed a creamy colored paper folded over with tear stains on it. ::The letter… I was reading it before I fell asleep.:: She felt a pain in her chest but ignored it. ::I won't think about it today. It'll just make everyone worry!:: She repeated it out loud to make her feel a little better. ::Cloud… STOP IT TIFA! Don't even THINK it!!! Come on!:: ::Great.:: Tifa thought dully. ::Now I'm having conversations with my mind.:: She closed her eyes and splashed water on her face.
*
"So, what's for breakfast?"
"Pancakes!" Tifa called back.
"Great! 'Cause I'm starving!" Reno laughed. Tifa rolled her eyes.
"You're *always* hungry. I'm surprised you didn't eat Shinra out of business."
"Nah, the mako business make millions. Besides, have you ever tried eating any of the crap they served? It's like pig food."
"Oh? Is that why you seem to eat like there's gonna be a famine soon?" Tifa slapped his hand away from some of the already cooked pancakes. "Don't even think about it buddy. No sit down where I can keep and eye on you!" Reno obediently sat down where she could see him but couldn't see him looking at her. ::Hmm… definitely nice ass… now lets see. Pancakes, pancakes, how will I get thee?::
"Tifa."
"Hey, Vincent!" Tifa smiled at him, while slapping Reno's hand away from the pancakes again.
"Jeez… don't'cha think you could use a little less force in your slapping?" Reno complained, rubbing his red-turning-tomato-colored hand.
"That'll teach you to touch the pancakes for it's time." Tifa replied matter of factly. Vincent shook his head.
"Hasn't he learned yet?"
"Nope. It does give me some practice for short range fighting though."
"What?" Tifa laughed at the expression on Reno's face.
"Kidding! Kidding!" Reno glared at her.
"Hey… keep giving me that look and you'll have no lunch!" declared Tifa, finishing cooking her pancakes. "I hear Marlene and Barret already." She quickly set the table.
"Hi Aunt Tifa!" called a cheer voice from the doorway.
"Hey Marlene! Barret! Come on! Pancakes are done!"
*
Tifa stared at the river. After breakfast she cleaned up and told everyone she'd be taking a walk outside. They watched her every single minute! ::What do they think I am? A baby? That I'll commit suicide?? I'm stronger than that! I can't believe them! Argh… it's getting on my nerves, walking on glass around me and still babying me like I'm some 4 year old who can't take care of herself.:: Tifa angrily threw a rock into the river. ::I've been taking care of myself for much longer than they think! I haven't been a child since Sephiroth gave me that scar!:: Tifa's hand unconsciously touched the place where she had been marred by Sephiroth. ::I'm not about to commit suicide. Give me a break!:: Tifa sighed and dropped her head into the palm of her hands. ::I want to forget.:: She looked up. The answer was so simple! It was staring her in the face and she had not seen it. ::I'll go see the Lifestream.::
Tifa carefully made her way back to the house. ::I'll need to pack a few things first.:: She climbed the vine up to her window, not wanting to disturb any of the occupants. Silently she made her way up and silently she packed a few things and climbed back out the way she came in.
*
"Has anyone seen Tifa?" asked Barret.
"She went out for a walk."
"I know that you foo'! I looked for her! I could find her smartass!"
"Last time I give you any information. So? She could be anywhere!" Reno yelled.
"I *told* you! I *checked* and *called* her name! She hasn't answered and it's been over three hours since she was back to the house!"
"Wait… repeat the last part again?"
"She's-"
"No, the other part. About not finding her?"
"I couldn't fuckin' find her!"
"She can't be far away."
"Well… she might have…" Barret shook his head. ::NO FUCKING WAY!:: he thought. ::Not *Tifa*!::
"No, she wouldn't have." A darker voice entered the yelling match/discussion.
"Then where could she be?" Reno asked. ::Please… no…:: Reno's thoughts turned more imaginative as each moment passed.
"I don't freakin' know! That's why I was asking in the first damn place!"
"Let's just try to find her." Vincent's voice was sharp and bode ill will to those who were about to argue.
"What about Marlene?" Barret asked. Vincent's red eyes turned to him. Barret almost cringed.
"She'll be fine by herself." And the three men fanned out, in search of Tifa, who was already out of the city.
*
Tifa carefully made her way through the ruins in the City of Ancients. She brushed her hair out of her eyes. ::Well, at least no one asked why I was coming here.:: Tifa shook her head ruefully, being one of the heroes that saved the planet certainly had its advantages. ::Now… lets see. There's the shrine. I must be close.:: The shrine at which a young flower girl had been killed when summoning the Holy. ::Aeris…::
Tifa looked up. The sky was bleak, much like her feelings. ::Almost there, almost there.:: After the incident with METEOR the Lifestream had receded and replaced itself in the City of Ancients. The only place where you could any Lifestream and that was protected. Tifa stopped at the edge of the Lifestream. "Please… please help me." She whispered hoarsely, she hadn't eaten or drunk anything since she left and walking her had been no picnic.
::What do you want, child?"
"What-what-who …" Tifa stammered at the voice in her head.
::I… we are the Lifestream.::
"Please help me!"
::What do you want?::
"… Give me something to forget Cloud! I … I can't stand this pain. I just want to forget!!"
::Do not all humans go through pain of love, loss, and more? Do not human emotions run so? That is what makes you human, is it not? Without your emotions and self-awareness, and feelings you would be monsters, much like the ones you fought on your adventures to save the planet.:: Tifa stared at her feet.
"Yes."
::Yes what, child?::
"Yes. Yes that is what makes us human! That is what makes us different from the monsters we've killed. But… it hurts. Please just let me forget. I don't want to lose my emotions and feelings! I… I just want to forget Cloud."
::The one who says he loves Aeris, the Ancient?::
"Yes." Lifestream watched the young woman. So young when she grew up.
::I will grant you your wish.::
"You will?" Tifa stared incredulously at the glowing river before her.
::Yes. It will be one of the many rewards that you will receive for saving this planet. And for having to grow up so soon.:: The last part came out so softly she could barely hear it.
"You… you know?"
::Yes.:: Tifa stared. Lifestream… seemingly so cold… and now… she didn't know what to think.
"Thank you."
::There is no need to thank us. Me. Now, take our your Premium Heart and drop it into the mako.::
"My Premium Heart?" Tifa's voice sounded her confusion, but she took it off and dropped it into the Lifestream. She watched as a soft glow surrounded the Premium heart and then, in a sudden flash, it turned into a beautiful heart locket with a double linked, golden chain. It floated back to Tifa, and she caught it with outstretched arms. "What… what is this for?" She stared at the cover, it had a sun on it and was gold and silver in color. It radiated light.
::Open it.:: Tifa opened the locket slowly, and as she did so beautiful music filled the air, a sweet melody that musicians strive for to hear and imitate their whole life. Inside, on the right side, there were six empty holes that looked like there should have been some sort gems in them that followed the perimeter of the heart and in the middle of the locket was a pretty white-light blue materia except it was too small, fitting into a hole the size of one of the ones on the perimeter. She looked on the left side. There was a picture of everyone there, except for Cloud.
"What's that?" Tifa asked, pointing to the inside of the locket. "And the music… will it always play?"
::Always. The stone in the middle is the Hopes and Dreams materia, it grants your heart's desires. The picture is to remind you of your friends, you'll never remember them though. Cloud is not there because you want to forget him, no? You must pick six different materias to place into the locket.::
"It won't fit though!"
::It will. It will shrink to fit.::
Tifa glanced at her materia. She picked out her Cure 3 and Heal, placing them in two of the slots. ::Now I have four more. What will I use?::
::I have another gift for you.:: A small, white materia appeared in front of her.
"Holy?"
::Yes. Put it above the Hopes and Dreams materia. It is yours.::
"Okay." Tifa gently picked Holy out of the air and placed it above the Hopes and Dreams materia. "Now I have three more spots." Tifa thought for a moment. She pulled out Phoenix, Ifrit, and Shiva, placing them in the remaining slots. She then closed the locket and pulled it over her head, wearing what was to be her last link to her old life when her wish was granted. Lifestream had a few last words though.
::Remember this locket can only be opened by you and you only. Never lose it Tifa, keep it with you always.::
"Okay. But, what do I need it for?"
::For your new life.::
"New… life…?"
::Good bye my, our, child. Good bye…:: the voice faded out as Tifa blacked out, unconscious, swimming in dreams that made no sense, slowly turning into nightmares.
*
"Goddamn it! Where the hell could she be?" Barret slammed his fist into the table, nearly breaking it.
"It's only been a week." Vincent's voice was cool; it almost seemed like he knew something.
"A week???" Reno almost screamed. "Don't you care for her at all??"
"Daddy?" A timid voice came from behind the table.
"Marlene, honey, you're suppose to be in bed." Barret picked up his only daughter.
"I know… but where's Aunty Tifa?"
"She'll be back soon. Good night honey." Marlene made her way back to her bed. Vincent turned back to his friends.
"Of course I care. I just know somethings you don't know. She's fine, and probably happier now."
"Do you mean she killed herself or something? Tifa wouldn't do that!" Barret was beginning to be hysterical.
"No."
"Then where is she?" Reno threw his nightstick against the table.
"Somewhere. We can still keep looking; we won't find her though."
"I'm going to keep looking!" Barret glared at Vincent and stood up.
*
::Who's that?' That's *me*!! And that blond hair man… that guy has a machine gun for a arm! That girl… in pink…:: The pictures swam in her head and she woke up screaming.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" She shot out of bed, tipping her head into her sweaty hands. The nightmare… a silver hair man who scared her, a group---with her in it… a blond that she felt something for, a pink girl who she was friends with but felt jealousy for, a dog that was smarter then most people, a young girl in green, and so many more. So many images… ::What was that? Who were they… they knew me and I knew them… :: But as she tried to remember her nightmare more the more she forgot until nothing but the feeling was left.
"Tifa, honey? What's wrong?" A woman in her bathrobe stood in the doorway.
"Nothing mother."
"I heard you scream."
"It was just a nightmare. You know how those are, now I can't even remember it!" Tifa smiled at her mother.
"All right." Tifa's mother shook her head but left Tifa alone. As soon as Tifa was sure her mother was gone, she got out of bed and walked to her bathroom. She turned on the faucet and splashed water on her face. Tifa looked up and stared at her face in the mirror; she was pale, ::It must be from that nightmare:: she mused, and her dark, black hair had golden streaks. She brushed her bangs out of her eyes, crimson red eyes that she had always been teased about, and as she blinked back tears, she grasped her locket. ::I still wonder where I got this. I've had it as long as I remember… and no one can open it to but me, I wonder why?:: Suddenly a image of someone appeared in her mirror, seemingly right behind her. "What…?" Was all she could say before she blacked out.
Um... R&R!!! And tell me by *e-mail* what pairing you want it to be(renoxtifa or cloudxtifa), not when you review it! Um... the advil thing? It's my story so :p!!!! ^_^ Really... tell me what you think! And if you decide to flame, please give me a reason why you hated my story, huh? (the "crappy as hell" thing doesn't tell me anything besides the fact you didn't like it, thank you very much.) ^^ Um... be nice? Pwetty pwease?