Feigning Love PART 4
By: GIA
Email: gia_b86@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: For those of you who are unsure how the title fits into the story then here is your answer. 'Feigning' is more or less another words for 'Pretend' or 'Fake'. So in relation to this story, Mimi is faking love. She doesn't love Ken, and doesn't plan to, but she realizes that he loves her. So she allows it to progress, merely for the sake of banishing Matt from her head. Does that make sense now? If not feel free to email me with any further questions or comments regarding this, or any other, fan fiction that I have posted.
Oh and the song featured in this is mine, so please don't take it. I trust you to be kind and caring, and not commit any felonies today.
Feigning Love PART 4
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I fear that I have become what I truly tried hard not to.
An alter ego of myself.
Most would brush off my worry with, "Oh Mimi you're being to hard on yourself. I would have done the same thing." But would they? If given the opportunity to break some ones heart, would they? I sincerely doubt that, and yet I was given that same opportunity and I took it. What does that say for me?
Suffice to say, I got through to him. I believe he knows now that I care little if at all for him. But he believes a lie, a lie that I manufactured specifically for that reason. If only I had realized what my possible lie could do to him, perhaps I could have planned something a little... nicer.
Not to worry, I'm sure Yamato Ishida is far from beaten; in fact that last blow should have given him hope that at least I cared enough to say, 'no' rather then simply slamming the door. I hope he got that out of it, if not anything else productive.
But I can't sit here and wait for the time to come, when he tries again, because I am going to be late for my doctor's appointment. He'll have to try when I'm not busy, and willing to give him the time of day.
I walk out the door at half past three and walk briskly down the street. I brush an errant tear that had been falling swiftly down my eyes away, as it is a symbol of my weakness. A weakness I refuse to give credence to, any longer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I will try again. If not for the sake of my love, then for the sake of saying, "I never give up". Though my carelessness got me here, and I'm sure that if I was give the chance to remedy my past actions, dating Kari would have been the first one to go.
I figure it this way, if someone is truly the one I'm to love, then it will naturally work itself out. I hope this is what God meant, when he created fate.
I have finally made it home, having gave up trying for the day, I sit limply on my bed and stare at my guitar. Perhaps a little music could snap me from my perpetual reverie.
I was thinking of writing a song for Mimi, and play it at one of our gigs; one I know she'll show up to. I begin to hum a few bars, mentally filling in words that I could put in later.
Two hours, and three music sheets later, I was complete. Now all I had to do was play it once to test it out.
You can take my heart and my love
But remember it's still me
I can give all that I am
For you to see
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
As far as I have come
There is still more left to do
Because in my travel I have learned
That to ever be truly happy
All I want is you
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
I have long forgotten
That one day it may leave
That love isn't constant
Even for you and me
I've prayed the day won't come
And I will be left to alone
But dreams and prayers can't be answered
If my heart is not my own
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
Matt finished with a sweet twang on the strings, ending his newest song and wrote the title as being, "Veracity".
He longed to sing the song and be in her arms doing so, but knew it would be a long time coming if at all.
He sang the song again, to strengthen it further, but knew it could only be entirely complete once sung to the women it was inspired by.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He hasn't called. I'm worried that perhaps something happened to him from my house to his, and he is somewhere dieing or worse... already dead. I shook my head to rid me of my disapprobation. I can't think horrible thoughts, because I have long found out that they sometimes come true.
Instead I sit on my head. I take a pill for my heartburn, that's was the doctor's prognosis. He had told me it was nothing to worry about, that my stomach acids were just acting up. Yeah acting up and causing me pain.
I popped the purple tablet into my mouth and swallowed it back with a glass of water. Oh well. My heart hurts, and my heartburn is bothering me too.
"Matt please call!" I shouted to no one. I considered calling him my self, but refused to give him that type of lead.
The phone ringing jarred me out of my thoughts.
"Matt?!" I hastily asked when I picked up the receiver from its cradle.
"Matt? No, it's me Ken." I wasn't sure if I should be thoroughly angry or happy that someone cared enough to call. I suppose it was neither.
"Oh hello Ken. I wasn't expecting a call from you." I said cheerfully.
"Obviously." He muttered. "I was calling to see how you were. After I left I'm sure Ishida did a number on your frail emotions." Ken was thoughtful, to the point of being annoying.
"I suppose so." I replied simply. He accepted that for what it was. A dismissal.
"Well alright then, I shall call you another time then." He said almost to himself it seemed. I didn't even say goodbye before the phone was back in its cradle once again. I sighed, the coolness of my room filling me to completion. God it was cold in here. I turned up the heat a few more joules and waited for the warmth to surround me.
I fell asleep before my task was accomplished.
By: GIA
Email: gia_b86@hotmail.com
Author's Notes: For those of you who are unsure how the title fits into the story then here is your answer. 'Feigning' is more or less another words for 'Pretend' or 'Fake'. So in relation to this story, Mimi is faking love. She doesn't love Ken, and doesn't plan to, but she realizes that he loves her. So she allows it to progress, merely for the sake of banishing Matt from her head. Does that make sense now? If not feel free to email me with any further questions or comments regarding this, or any other, fan fiction that I have posted.
Oh and the song featured in this is mine, so please don't take it. I trust you to be kind and caring, and not commit any felonies today.
Feigning Love PART 4
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I fear that I have become what I truly tried hard not to.
An alter ego of myself.
Most would brush off my worry with, "Oh Mimi you're being to hard on yourself. I would have done the same thing." But would they? If given the opportunity to break some ones heart, would they? I sincerely doubt that, and yet I was given that same opportunity and I took it. What does that say for me?
Suffice to say, I got through to him. I believe he knows now that I care little if at all for him. But he believes a lie, a lie that I manufactured specifically for that reason. If only I had realized what my possible lie could do to him, perhaps I could have planned something a little... nicer.
Not to worry, I'm sure Yamato Ishida is far from beaten; in fact that last blow should have given him hope that at least I cared enough to say, 'no' rather then simply slamming the door. I hope he got that out of it, if not anything else productive.
But I can't sit here and wait for the time to come, when he tries again, because I am going to be late for my doctor's appointment. He'll have to try when I'm not busy, and willing to give him the time of day.
I walk out the door at half past three and walk briskly down the street. I brush an errant tear that had been falling swiftly down my eyes away, as it is a symbol of my weakness. A weakness I refuse to give credence to, any longer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I will try again. If not for the sake of my love, then for the sake of saying, "I never give up". Though my carelessness got me here, and I'm sure that if I was give the chance to remedy my past actions, dating Kari would have been the first one to go.
I figure it this way, if someone is truly the one I'm to love, then it will naturally work itself out. I hope this is what God meant, when he created fate.
I have finally made it home, having gave up trying for the day, I sit limply on my bed and stare at my guitar. Perhaps a little music could snap me from my perpetual reverie.
I was thinking of writing a song for Mimi, and play it at one of our gigs; one I know she'll show up to. I begin to hum a few bars, mentally filling in words that I could put in later.
Two hours, and three music sheets later, I was complete. Now all I had to do was play it once to test it out.
You can take my heart and my love
But remember it's still me
I can give all that I am
For you to see
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
As far as I have come
There is still more left to do
Because in my travel I have learned
That to ever be truly happy
All I want is you
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
I have long forgotten
That one day it may leave
That love isn't constant
Even for you and me
I've prayed the day won't come
And I will be left to alone
But dreams and prayers can't be answered
If my heart is not my own
Pain is not my passion
And one day you will see
That as long as I've got you
You will always have me
Matt finished with a sweet twang on the strings, ending his newest song and wrote the title as being, "Veracity".
He longed to sing the song and be in her arms doing so, but knew it would be a long time coming if at all.
He sang the song again, to strengthen it further, but knew it could only be entirely complete once sung to the women it was inspired by.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
He hasn't called. I'm worried that perhaps something happened to him from my house to his, and he is somewhere dieing or worse... already dead. I shook my head to rid me of my disapprobation. I can't think horrible thoughts, because I have long found out that they sometimes come true.
Instead I sit on my head. I take a pill for my heartburn, that's was the doctor's prognosis. He had told me it was nothing to worry about, that my stomach acids were just acting up. Yeah acting up and causing me pain.
I popped the purple tablet into my mouth and swallowed it back with a glass of water. Oh well. My heart hurts, and my heartburn is bothering me too.
"Matt please call!" I shouted to no one. I considered calling him my self, but refused to give him that type of lead.
The phone ringing jarred me out of my thoughts.
"Matt?!" I hastily asked when I picked up the receiver from its cradle.
"Matt? No, it's me Ken." I wasn't sure if I should be thoroughly angry or happy that someone cared enough to call. I suppose it was neither.
"Oh hello Ken. I wasn't expecting a call from you." I said cheerfully.
"Obviously." He muttered. "I was calling to see how you were. After I left I'm sure Ishida did a number on your frail emotions." Ken was thoughtful, to the point of being annoying.
"I suppose so." I replied simply. He accepted that for what it was. A dismissal.
"Well alright then, I shall call you another time then." He said almost to himself it seemed. I didn't even say goodbye before the phone was back in its cradle once again. I sighed, the coolness of my room filling me to completion. God it was cold in here. I turned up the heat a few more joules and waited for the warmth to surround me.
I fell asleep before my task was accomplished.