Author's Note: Hey all! Here's the third part. Hope you all think it's as good as the first two. And if you're going to flame me, please at least try to be eloquent in your comments, and if you can't manage that, try being polite (or just shutting up). Or make an intelligent objection (example: Firecross) with reasons other that "EWWWW!" My muses feed off of both postitive and negative comments, and like writing things just to spite those people who write stupid pointless negative reviews. (You know, the ones that are just a whole bunch of insults and going EWWWW!!!) Anywho, on with the story! ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, J.K. Rowling does, and I'm so evil for using them.
Remus couldn't sleep. Three days had gone by since the incident in the kitchen, and he couldn't get Sirius out of his mind. The sad, frightened look on the black-haired man's face as Remus walked out of the room tormented him every time he closed his eyes. The last thing he'd wanted to do was to hurt Sirius, and yet that's what he'd done. That's what he was still doing. That was why they were avoiding each other, which was hard to do in the two-story farmhouse. (Remus had chosen it because of it's isolation rather than risk biting someone when he changed.)
The tension in the house was horrible to bear. Even the cheerfully oblivious Mundungus Fletcher had finally noticed how the air seemed to thicken when Remus and Sirius were in the same room together. The latter was looking more stressed than ever, with circles under his eyes, and he hadn't been to a meal since that night. Remus also noticed that the haunted, depressed look that he'd had since he'd escaped from Azkaban was returning.
* It never really left. But it was fading slowly. Now suddenly it's back as if he's just been captured by dementors again. *
Remus shuddered at the thought. He didn't think he could bear losing Sirius again. He sat up in bed, his breathing harsh from fighting a wave of emotions he didn't want to have to deal with right now.
* It's suffocating in here. I need some fresh air. *
He got out of bed and changed out of his pajamas into the robes he'd been wearing that day along with some comfortable boots. He tiptoed down the hallway so's not to wake the occupants of the three other upstairs bedrooms, then when cautiously down the stairs, and snuck out the back door. He sighed with relief as a cool summer breeze caressed his face. He hadn't realized how hot the house was until now that he was outside.
It was a beautiful night. As he walked leisurely through his backyard past his fenced-off garden of magical herbs, the wind brought the scents of heather and wild meadow grass as the few trees around the house shivered their leaves. The sky was blue-black with a waxing half-moon surrounded by diamond stars. The light was enough to see by, and the sound of crickets rang in his ears. Fireflies flew up in front of him as he walked into the meadow and he paused to watch until he lost them among the stars.
"Nice night."
Startled, Remus spun. Sirius was standing a few feet away in wrinkled robes. His skin was pallid in the moonlight in sharp contrast to his hair. Sharp shadows hooded his eyes from view, but a faint ghost of a grin passed over his lips briefly as he watched Remus jump.
"Yeah, it is," Remus said in what he hoped was an amicable tone. "Couldn't sleep either?"
"No. Then I heard you leave and thought I'd see where you were going. You don't mind, do you?"
"No."
Sirius nodded and walked up to his side. He looked up at the moon. Remus saw his eyes, looking liquid in the silver light. They were uninterpretable at the moment. He followed his gaze. They stood there in silence, but it wasn't like the uncomfortable ones they'd had in the house.
"When I was in Azkaban," Sirius began out of no where, "there was a window in my cell. It was very small and high up, and there were bars and spells on it, but it let in the light. Every once in a while I would see the moon through it. It made me think of you."
Remus glanced sidelong at him. He knew that this was how he would remember Sirius for the rest of his life. He memorized the play of light and shadows on his profile, the way his eyes glimmered, the way his hair fell just so over his forehead. Remus had the urge to place an arm around his shoulders, but remembering what result the last physical contact they'd made had done, he supressed it.
"I thought of you often when you were in Azkaban."
Sirius snorted, somewhere between disbelief and self-derision.
"Probably cursing my name for betraying Lily and James, and then for killing Pettigrew and all those innocents."
"I could never curse your name."
"But you believed I was the traitor," Sirius accused softly.
Sirius looked at him. Their eyes met. Remus saw the raw gut-twisting guilt, the fear, the self-loathing, the loneliness that was the result of being in Azkaban for so long in those obsidian orbs. He wondered vaguely if Sirius could see the love and comfort he was offering in his own. He tried to resist the action, but it hurt too much to just stand there and do nothing. Throwing all caution to the wind, Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius just below the shoulder.
"At the time I did. But now I know the truth. It wasn't your fault, Sirius."
The raven-tressed man turned away. Remus gripped his arm and spun him so they we face to face. He captured Sirius's gaze. He needed to know if he was getting through to him or not, and the eyes would be the give away.
"It wasn't your fault."
He shook his head, trying to look away, but Remus reached out a hand and cupped his cheek so he couldn't.
"It wasn't your fault."
His friend looked panicked now. He wrenched himself out of Remus's grip and began to walk away. He stopped suddenly. He gasped and his shoulders shook.
"Damn you, Remus," he said, his voice cracking.
Remus crossed over to him quickly and wrapped him in a tight hug. Sirius clung to him like a drowning man clinging to a life-preserver. Remus felt him shudder, heard his irregular rasping breath. He stood strong, being the anchor his friend need now.
"It wasn't yor fault," he repeated over and over into his ear until the man had calmed. Finally Sirius pulled away slowly. Remus let him go, smothering his relutance. Once again they locked stares.
* No tears... * he noted dimly in the back of his mind.
Remus saw that the haunted look had faded again, and the guilt, fear, and selt-hatred was replaced by new emotions. Could they be what Remus hoped they were? Sirius drew breath to speak. Remus's heart leapt higher. Was he going to say what he'd dreamed of hearing?
"Thank you."
* No. * he thought with a sad smile. * Of course not. *
"What are friends for?" he responded, not noticing how 'friends' came out sounding bitter.
He began to walk past Sirius, planning on going back to his room in the house. But Sirius reached out and grabbed him as he went by. Suddenly he found himself being pressed up against Sirius and kissed full on the mouth. He was too surprised to react, he just stood there stupidly, his heart pounding and tingles running up and down his spine. But it was over before he could even get over his shock. Sirius pulled back looking ashamed.
"I'm sorry - I thought - I - you - " he stammered, flushing deeply. "I wasn't thinking - "
Remus put long slender finger to his love's lips to silence him, then took it away as he leaned closer so that their lips were nearly touching.
"It's all right," he whispered, hardly daring to believe it. It was intoxicating, being this near to him, feeling his breath, inhaling his unique scent.
"I-it is?"
In answer, Remus closed the gap between them. It was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced, his heart fluttering in his chest as they shared their breaths. Sirius's hands came to rest gently, almost timidly, on his hips as he entwined his arms about the dark-haired man's neck. Finally it was necessary to break away, but neither did it very willingly. Remus looked into Sirius's eyes again as he tried to catch his breath.
"I love you."
The words had fallen out before he could stop them. Fearing what he might see, he looked away, only to find Sirius gripping his face as he'd done to him only a few moments before. Black abysses bored into his eyes, startling him with the love they held. Sirius smiled his widest most untamed smile that made Remus melt.
"I love you, too."
Unable to find words, Remus simply kissed him again, not knowing or caring whether the tears he suddenly felt on his cheeks were his own or Sirius's.
Another Author's Note: Well that's it. I had several reviews about people wanting me to make it into a series, but there was one major thing wrong with that: the story has no plot. You see, when I started writing this, the main plot was just about the relationship blossoming. But if it was a series it would have to have something going on besides that or else it'd get boring after the same old angsty stuff over and over again. I tried making a plot about why Harry and Dumbledore weren't writing, but it didn't fit and took away from my main focus. So I just decided to end it here.
Okay, now it's review time! Any OOC-ness? Did I overdo the kisses? If so, I apologize. (I was feeling very mushy tonight.)
Review!!! Please??? Pretty Please with sugar and cherries and gummie bears on top?
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, J.K. Rowling does, and I'm so evil for using them.
Remus couldn't sleep. Three days had gone by since the incident in the kitchen, and he couldn't get Sirius out of his mind. The sad, frightened look on the black-haired man's face as Remus walked out of the room tormented him every time he closed his eyes. The last thing he'd wanted to do was to hurt Sirius, and yet that's what he'd done. That's what he was still doing. That was why they were avoiding each other, which was hard to do in the two-story farmhouse. (Remus had chosen it because of it's isolation rather than risk biting someone when he changed.)
The tension in the house was horrible to bear. Even the cheerfully oblivious Mundungus Fletcher had finally noticed how the air seemed to thicken when Remus and Sirius were in the same room together. The latter was looking more stressed than ever, with circles under his eyes, and he hadn't been to a meal since that night. Remus also noticed that the haunted, depressed look that he'd had since he'd escaped from Azkaban was returning.
* It never really left. But it was fading slowly. Now suddenly it's back as if he's just been captured by dementors again. *
Remus shuddered at the thought. He didn't think he could bear losing Sirius again. He sat up in bed, his breathing harsh from fighting a wave of emotions he didn't want to have to deal with right now.
* It's suffocating in here. I need some fresh air. *
He got out of bed and changed out of his pajamas into the robes he'd been wearing that day along with some comfortable boots. He tiptoed down the hallway so's not to wake the occupants of the three other upstairs bedrooms, then when cautiously down the stairs, and snuck out the back door. He sighed with relief as a cool summer breeze caressed his face. He hadn't realized how hot the house was until now that he was outside.
It was a beautiful night. As he walked leisurely through his backyard past his fenced-off garden of magical herbs, the wind brought the scents of heather and wild meadow grass as the few trees around the house shivered their leaves. The sky was blue-black with a waxing half-moon surrounded by diamond stars. The light was enough to see by, and the sound of crickets rang in his ears. Fireflies flew up in front of him as he walked into the meadow and he paused to watch until he lost them among the stars.
"Nice night."
Startled, Remus spun. Sirius was standing a few feet away in wrinkled robes. His skin was pallid in the moonlight in sharp contrast to his hair. Sharp shadows hooded his eyes from view, but a faint ghost of a grin passed over his lips briefly as he watched Remus jump.
"Yeah, it is," Remus said in what he hoped was an amicable tone. "Couldn't sleep either?"
"No. Then I heard you leave and thought I'd see where you were going. You don't mind, do you?"
"No."
Sirius nodded and walked up to his side. He looked up at the moon. Remus saw his eyes, looking liquid in the silver light. They were uninterpretable at the moment. He followed his gaze. They stood there in silence, but it wasn't like the uncomfortable ones they'd had in the house.
"When I was in Azkaban," Sirius began out of no where, "there was a window in my cell. It was very small and high up, and there were bars and spells on it, but it let in the light. Every once in a while I would see the moon through it. It made me think of you."
Remus glanced sidelong at him. He knew that this was how he would remember Sirius for the rest of his life. He memorized the play of light and shadows on his profile, the way his eyes glimmered, the way his hair fell just so over his forehead. Remus had the urge to place an arm around his shoulders, but remembering what result the last physical contact they'd made had done, he supressed it.
"I thought of you often when you were in Azkaban."
Sirius snorted, somewhere between disbelief and self-derision.
"Probably cursing my name for betraying Lily and James, and then for killing Pettigrew and all those innocents."
"I could never curse your name."
"But you believed I was the traitor," Sirius accused softly.
Sirius looked at him. Their eyes met. Remus saw the raw gut-twisting guilt, the fear, the self-loathing, the loneliness that was the result of being in Azkaban for so long in those obsidian orbs. He wondered vaguely if Sirius could see the love and comfort he was offering in his own. He tried to resist the action, but it hurt too much to just stand there and do nothing. Throwing all caution to the wind, Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius just below the shoulder.
"At the time I did. But now I know the truth. It wasn't your fault, Sirius."
The raven-tressed man turned away. Remus gripped his arm and spun him so they we face to face. He captured Sirius's gaze. He needed to know if he was getting through to him or not, and the eyes would be the give away.
"It wasn't your fault."
He shook his head, trying to look away, but Remus reached out a hand and cupped his cheek so he couldn't.
"It wasn't your fault."
His friend looked panicked now. He wrenched himself out of Remus's grip and began to walk away. He stopped suddenly. He gasped and his shoulders shook.
"Damn you, Remus," he said, his voice cracking.
Remus crossed over to him quickly and wrapped him in a tight hug. Sirius clung to him like a drowning man clinging to a life-preserver. Remus felt him shudder, heard his irregular rasping breath. He stood strong, being the anchor his friend need now.
"It wasn't yor fault," he repeated over and over into his ear until the man had calmed. Finally Sirius pulled away slowly. Remus let him go, smothering his relutance. Once again they locked stares.
* No tears... * he noted dimly in the back of his mind.
Remus saw that the haunted look had faded again, and the guilt, fear, and selt-hatred was replaced by new emotions. Could they be what Remus hoped they were? Sirius drew breath to speak. Remus's heart leapt higher. Was he going to say what he'd dreamed of hearing?
"Thank you."
* No. * he thought with a sad smile. * Of course not. *
"What are friends for?" he responded, not noticing how 'friends' came out sounding bitter.
He began to walk past Sirius, planning on going back to his room in the house. But Sirius reached out and grabbed him as he went by. Suddenly he found himself being pressed up against Sirius and kissed full on the mouth. He was too surprised to react, he just stood there stupidly, his heart pounding and tingles running up and down his spine. But it was over before he could even get over his shock. Sirius pulled back looking ashamed.
"I'm sorry - I thought - I - you - " he stammered, flushing deeply. "I wasn't thinking - "
Remus put long slender finger to his love's lips to silence him, then took it away as he leaned closer so that their lips were nearly touching.
"It's all right," he whispered, hardly daring to believe it. It was intoxicating, being this near to him, feeling his breath, inhaling his unique scent.
"I-it is?"
In answer, Remus closed the gap between them. It was the most wonderful thing he had ever experienced, his heart fluttering in his chest as they shared their breaths. Sirius's hands came to rest gently, almost timidly, on his hips as he entwined his arms about the dark-haired man's neck. Finally it was necessary to break away, but neither did it very willingly. Remus looked into Sirius's eyes again as he tried to catch his breath.
"I love you."
The words had fallen out before he could stop them. Fearing what he might see, he looked away, only to find Sirius gripping his face as he'd done to him only a few moments before. Black abysses bored into his eyes, startling him with the love they held. Sirius smiled his widest most untamed smile that made Remus melt.
"I love you, too."
Unable to find words, Remus simply kissed him again, not knowing or caring whether the tears he suddenly felt on his cheeks were his own or Sirius's.
Another Author's Note: Well that's it. I had several reviews about people wanting me to make it into a series, but there was one major thing wrong with that: the story has no plot. You see, when I started writing this, the main plot was just about the relationship blossoming. But if it was a series it would have to have something going on besides that or else it'd get boring after the same old angsty stuff over and over again. I tried making a plot about why Harry and Dumbledore weren't writing, but it didn't fit and took away from my main focus. So I just decided to end it here.
Okay, now it's review time! Any OOC-ness? Did I overdo the kisses? If so, I apologize. (I was feeling very mushy tonight.)
Review!!! Please??? Pretty Please with sugar and cherries and gummie bears on top?