Recruits 2: Revenge Of The Author

Author: Natas

Disclaimer: I did it! *BWAH HA HA HA HAAA* I FINALLY got my revenge! At least, I'm gonna. What? (*murmuring is heard off stage*) FINE! I don't own the X-Men... If I did, here's a glimpse at the torment they'd go through. Oh yeah, everyone else belongs to whoever made them.

Summary: We all went to the play boy mansion. Partied with the Marilyn Manson's. (PS: MEOW!)

Authors Note: I'm sooo sick right now. You know what THAT means folks! It's gonna be crazy kooky! *COUGH* *COUCH* *WHEEEEZZZZ* I'm okay.

Final Notes From Your Beloved Author: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!

~Telepathic Message~

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~In our LAST episode of Recruits~

~Jean found true love... with SCOTT!?~

~The Smurfs were destroyed, god rest their little souls and cool hats~

~And everyone's favorite author was sent to a crazy house~

~Now, on with this episode~

Through the piles of ruble caused by the chaos of the one, the only, the stupid NATAS master of the X-Men! "*BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAA* *COUGH* *WHEEEEEZ* Ah, crap! I better wait till I feel better."

(*Seven days and seven nights pass and we find ourselves at the Mansion in which the X-Men reside*)

"I got dibs on the TV!" Jubilee, everyone's favorite mall rat screamed as she jumped over the couch and in front of the television.

"No fair!" Bobby yelled. "I mean, you got to watch Live or Let Die yesterday on BOX, the cheep rip off of FOX." Bobby smiled and winked to no one in particular.

"Who ya talkin' ta Bobster?" Logan asked as he walked in with... A BOTTLE OF WATER?? WHAT!?

"No one." He said and watched as Logan unsheathed his claws only to cut off the top of the bottle.

"Uh, Wolvie?" Jubilee started as she stared at, what was supposed to be, Logan.

"What, Darlin'?"

"Are you... okay? You look a little, um, pale."

Logan finished the bottle of water and handed it to a very surprised Bobby and said, "Recycle this, will ya?"

"Um, sure." Bobby said, not sure what else to say.

"Hey, Bub. Doesn't this story have to be set somewhere else? Like in the recruitment office?" Logan asked the ceiling. That was it, Jubilee was positive something was wrong with Logan.

Down in the lower levels (I know how much people love to write about them), Professor Charles Xavier and Jean Grey sat, sipping tea, when they heard what sounded like Jubilee screaming 'get back here you Wolvie wanna be!' But they didn't pay any mind. They just needed to relax before the inevitable happened.

"Shouldn't it be illegal for this guy to write fiction?" Jean Grey asked, looking up from her tea, and her make up running making her look like the worst whore anyone's ever seen.

"What guy?" Professor Xavier asked, trying not to laugh.

"This Natas guy. I mean, you've seen what he does! He can't even get his universes right! What verse are we in??"

"What do you mean?" Professor asked as he watched her mascara run down her neck.

"What universe ARE we!? Are we movieverse? Canonverse? WHAT!?"

"I believe he calls this the 'Nataverse'." He said back, trying ever so hard not to laugh at her 'waterproof' makeup.

"Nataverse?" She asked, dabbing a little at herself with her napkin, totally missing all the makeup which had been running down her face.

"Yes, it is like a specialverse. Where he takes the best of all the universes and puts them in any way he wishes. Why do you think Jubilee is with Logan, and you're still the doctor?"

"I don't know! I don't even know what half the stuff is! Why can't he just write Beast in this fic?" She asked, her makeup miraculously fixed and perfect.

"Why, I am right here!" Beast, also known as Dr. Hank McCoy, said from a dark corner.

"Where were you the last fic!?" She half yelled, half asked him.

"I - uh - you see... LOOK OVER THERE!" He screamed as he pointed to the opposite corner where a lone spider web could be seen. As the Professor and Jean looked 'over there', soft foot steps were heard as Beast began running away.

"Oh, that's a beautiful spider web!" Jean said as she turned to where Beast once was. But instead, everyone's favorite author (that's me you idiots!) was standing there.

"Hello, I'm BBAAAAAAACCKK!!!" I yelled for no reason, since it was obvious.

"Wow! How did you extend the C and K sound like that? I've never heard anything like that!" The Professor exclaimed.

"Quiet you! No body likes a bald man in a wheel chair who's smarter then them!" I said back.

"*HISSSSSSS*" Logan hissed (duh) as he jumped at me, ready to defend his love.

"Logan! You're my HERO!" The Professor yelled as he was saved by the only man he could truly love.

"Oh please." I said as I couched on him, making him so sick that even his healing factor couldn't save him (but since he's so cool, he only passed out from my bad breath. Happy?).

"What are you going to do to us?" Jean asked as I pulled out my computer and started setting it up.

"I'm gonna WRITE!" I said in my scariest voice, which actually sounded like a toad in a blender.

"Wait, I thought you were banned from writing?" The Professor asked as he wheeled closer to me.

"Well, as long as I'm here, no one will come after me."

"But we'll call the police!"

"And risk reveling yourself to public eye? I think not!"

"Yes, but - uh - SCOTT! NOW!"

All of a sudden, Scott Summers jumped out of the shadows (which there are way to much of) and smacked me over the head with a piano.

"Where'd that Piano come from?" Skin asked.

"Where'd you come from?" Scott asked back.

"I - I - I DON'T KNOW!" He said and ran screaming back into the eerie shadows of no return.

"Everyone stand back! I'm going to try and find out why he writes this CRAP!" Professor yelled as many people, most of whom anyone has ever seen, started crowding around the body of me, Natas.

~Natas, let me into your mind.~ The professor started.

~Okay, the back door's open. Grab somethin' ta drink and join me! I'm in the living room.~ I said from inside my mind.

(*Many hours pass before the Professor finally comes out of his trance*)

A very bored until then Scott suddenly blurted, "I DIDN'T DO IT! I mean, what did you see Professor?"

"It's to hard!"

"Try." Jean Grey comforted.

"He - He - " The Professor started to cry, "HE'S ONLY HUMAN!!"

"That makes no sense!" Logan stated, finally waking up.

"Let him have his fun. No one's complaining! Anyways, it's in his nature to write non-sense like this."

"If you say so Professor." Scott said. With that, everyone started walking out leaving the Professor and the unconscious boy laying on the ground.

"Are they gone?" I asked.

"Yes, finally." The Professor said back, without even looking.

"Did they believe you?"

"Yes."

"Damn, I owe you a dollar."

"Pay up!"

"Fine," I said as I dug through my pockets and finally finding one crumpled up dollar. "Here!"

"Thanks."

"See ya next fic!"

"What? You're gonna write more!?"

"Well, it depends on the feedback."

"What are you going to write about?"

"I'll decide when I get there."

"Oh, okay. So what now?"

"Well, I have to apologize for making this part of this possible series."

"To who?"

"The readers."

"Readers?"

"Those people!" I said as I pointed to the ceiling at hundreds of eyes.

"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The Professor screamed as he had a heart attack.

"*BWAH HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA*" I laughed as I ran off to think of a new fic to write for this series. "Oh yeah! Everyone who's read this far, REVIEW!!!!!"

~FIN~

Or is it?

WELL IT DEPENDS ON YOU!

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MEOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!