Recruits 4: Sit Around The Roasting Jean Grey

Author: You know, right? RIGHT!?

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda, I don't OWN the X-Men. Blah blah blah, I don't OWN anything else! Meow meow meow, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener...

Summary: How 'bout, you read the story and give ME a summary?? I like that idea.

Authors Notes: Everyone wish me luck with my applying to the CSSSA! (California State Summer School for the Arts) I'm applying for creative writing! And if I get accepted, I may be able to write fics with a plot!!!!

More Notes: Rights For Scott!

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"Number eighteen!" Jubilee shouted.

"Where's Jean?" Logan asked.

"Where's the Professor?" She asked in return.

"I think he went on strike. Something about unfair something or other."

"Oh, I think Jean went with him." Jubilee said as the door opened slowly.

Before their eyes, four oddly shaped creatures walked in.

"Eh-oh!" They all shouted at once.

"It's... It's... IT'S THE TELETUBBIES!!!!" Jubilee shouted in utter fear for her life.

"Tinky Winky!" The purple one that was carrying a red purse and had a upside down triangle on it's head said.

"Dipsie!" The green one said right after the purple one.

"Lala!" The yellow one followed.

"Poe." The little red one said shyly.

"What in flamin' hell are those!?" Logan shouted in horror.

"You idiot! We're Teletubbies!" The red one shouted in a mighty deep voice.

To everyone's surprise (even the TV audience), all the things removed their heads.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Jubilee shouted.

"Oh... My... Sabretooth??" Logan said in disbelief.

"Why do I have to be the purple one?" Sabretooth asked in a unheard of whiney tone of voice, quiet unlike his usual self.

"Because, you idiot! We have no other way to break into the mansion!" Said the yellow one with his head on backwards, sounding a lot like Magneto.

"Umm... Maggy, hon. We're already in the mansion." The green one said as it morphed into the fem fatal known as Mystique, only this time with CLOTHES!

"Ppooooeee!" The little one said.

"TOAD! Get out of character! We need to do the usual bad guy thing!" Magneto said.

"Don't worry, mes amis! Gambit is here t' save ya!" Gambit said as he ran out of the shadows.

"You're my hero!" A voice said as the figure ran out of the shadows behind Gambit.

"Tara! N't now! Rogue migh' find moi wit' you!" He said as he ran after Toad who was still dressed as Poe.

"I already did." A voice with a southern accent said.

"Who are you?" Tara asked.

"I'm Rogue, you ninny!"

"You don't LOOK like rogue!" Tara said in a skeptical voice.

"It was that stupid movie, wasn't it?"

"Uh - uh - YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" Tara said not sure what to say, so instead jumped on Rogue.

"You shall pay, you yank!" Rogue said as she socked Tara in the stomach.

"So, what a' ya doin' afta' da fic?" Remy asked Sabretooth who was still dressed as Tinky Winky.

"Jubilee! I'm callin' you out!" A face known only as 8-) said.

"AH! A GIANT EMOTIONIC! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Jubilee said as she ran into the cartoonish fight between Rogue and Tara.

"I'll get you! You shall suffer!" 8-) said.

"Reow! Cat fight!" Logan said.

"Hey, has anyone seen Gambit and Sabretooth?" Tara said as she stuck her head out of the cartoonish fight.

"MON CHER! I NEVER KNEW!" Gambit screamed from the shadows.

"GAMBIT! HOW COULD YOU!" Tara and Rogue screamed in unison.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Rogue asked Jubilee.

Jubilee, who was being beaten up by 8-) said "I hope it involves getting rid of these authors!"

"Yes it does, my dear Jubilee. Yes it does."

"What did I miss?" I, everyone's favorite author, asked as I came back with my cherry coke.

"What do you mean 'what did I miss'?! Look! You're writing the flamin' thing!" Logan yelled.

"No, I've been sleeping, then I took some medicine, then I got a coke, then I went and got rid of the evil leprechauns, then I -"

"SHUT UP AND FIX THIS!" Scott said from out of no where.

"Alright. First's things first. 8-)? You have to go away. Jubilee is to cool to be beaten up."

In a blinding flash of light, 8-) was gone.

"And now you Tara and Rogue. I'll split Gambit up in four ways for all of you."

"Four?" Rogue asked.

"For the two of you." I said as Marie, that stupid girl, walked into view.

"All I want is Logan!" Marie squealed.

"No, I'm sick of this stupid Logan and Marie thing! Logan belongs to Mariko! Or Silver Fox! Maybe even Jean Grey!"

"Hey!" Scott said.

"Oh yeah, and maybe the slash Scott."

"That's better." Scott said.

"Now with everyone else. Shame on you! Do you know what ethics are!?"

"No." Everyone said as they hung their heads in shame.

"Damn, nor do I. Hey, what about a three letter word that means the same as 'end'?"

"What language?" Mystique asked.

"I think French."

"Mon dieu! Remy t'inks he's got it!"

"What is it?" Everyone asked him.

"Fin!"

"Like on a fish?" Toad asked as he walked in through the door, holding a red thing under his arm.

Everyone did a double take at Toad and Toad. At least, Toad and who they thought was Toad.

"Which one's the real Toad!?" Everyone shouted.

"Poe?" Poe asked.

"I'm Toad!" Toad said, "He's the real Poe. I saw him and told him to take my place. I'm tired of this whole thing! I just want to settle down with all of my fans! ALL OF MY FANS!" (*hint* *hint*)

"I'm back from Borabora!" I said as I walked through the door.

"Oh no! Didn't you just walk in?" Logan asked.

"No, who's that?" I asked as I pointed at someone that looked like me.

"I'm the real Natas! Ah, forget it." The other me said as he morphed into his old self, Evil Morph.

"MORPH! I NEVER TOLD YOU TH-" Logan said, but was cut short.

"Wrong story, smart ass." I said.

"So what's going on?"

"I don't know, but I'll fix it!" I said as I made everything *POOF* into what I saw fit.

Off in the corner, Scott and Logan were cuddling. Jubilee was with Chigliak and they were doing the dirty chicken. Jean was roasting over an open fire. The Professor was caught in a mosh pit. And everyone else was sitting around the roasting Jean singing campfire songs.

"Just as it should be." I said and walked into the shadows, leaving everyone to clean up the mess after me.

Gambit ran up to one of the secret cameras I hid in the room and screamed...

~FIN~

(Come on now, I'm gonna keep writing this.)

(I have to!)

(It's my duty as a sick minded writer!)

(PS: Rights for Scott!)