Adultery, Part9
INTRODUCTION: The next part. Not too much happens... This is far from my best work, so consider yourself warned, :)!
Thirty minutes later the three of them met up in Chandler's upstairs office. Monica sat down on the sofa and kept her wide open eyes staring into space, or possibly at some spot on the floor. Joey stood by the wall, afraid of what Chandler's reaction would be if he glanced at Monica. Chandler stood by the door, with his arms crossed just like before.
"Okay, now I want to know everything" he said.
"Look Chandler, I've already told you that neither of us really know how it all happened…" Monica said. "I mean, all I can remember is that suddenly we were kissing, and one thing led to another and then we had gone all the way…"
"I don't give a shit about that right now" Chandler said. He started walking across the room. "Give me details of what you did together. I want to know it all, every sick detail."
"Chandler we don't really remember--" Joey tried, but got cut off.
"Did she blow you?" Chandler asked, stopping by his desk. He turned to look at Monica. "Did you?" He looked back at Joey. "Did she?"
"No" Joey said with a head shake. "She didn't want to have any oral sex."
"Liar" Chandler said. "Monica is always up for that. Aren't you, honey?" The last bit had been added with loads of sarcasm.
"Yes…" Monica said so low that the guys could barely hear her. "But I never had any with Joey."
"She's telling the truth" Joey said. "Look, she told me that you were the only one she'd ever given oral sex to, and she wanted to keep it that way. And she didn't want me to give her any, because she thought it got too personal that way."
"What are you, some hooker who doesn't kiss?" Chandler said to Monica.
"Chandler stop talking like that!" Joey said.
"I talk to her however I want to!" Chandler hissed at him. "And you can keep your big fat mouth shut until I ask you anything!"
"Who are you, some sort of cop in a TV movie?" Joey said, getting annoyed. "Chandler just because we did something wrong it doesn't give you the right to--"
"Correction, asshole!" Chandler interrupted. "I will talk to you two in whatever way I want to, I will say anything I feel like, you two have NOTHING to say about what's right! Because what's right is to not cheat, especially not with your husband's best friend!"
"Yes, but honey do you have to talk like this?" Monica asked. "Can't you please be civil?"
"Can't you please be faithful?" Chandler replied. "No, wait, sorry, my bad, that's already too late. You CAN'T be faithful."
"Chandler damn it I--" she began, but Chandler cut her off.
"You know, last morning when I woke up I was very much in love, and I was happier than you could imagine! Today I am miserable, I am DISGUSTED but most of all I'm devastated!" Chandler said. "You destroyed my life completely. Now how does it feel?"
"Chandler it's not fair of you to say that!" Monica objected and tried hard not to cry again. "Look you've only just found out, can't you and I work on this?"
"What's there to work on?" Chandler asked. "Some no-good marriage that means squad to you? A marriage that's only a marriage to the NAME?"
"That's not true" Monica objected, and looked down on her hands.
"Like hell it isn't."
"Well what do you want us to do?" Joey asked. "Just tell us and we'll do it!"
"No" Chandler said. "Because the only thing I want from you two is some sort of guarantee that this never actually happened. And you could never give that to me because it DID happen. I wish to god that I had never met you, Joey Tribbiani."
"So you're just gonna give up on 18 years of friendship and 12 years of love?"
"Correction. YOU gave up on it. And it wasn't after eighteen years of love and twelve years of friendship, because you gave up four years ago." He turned and gave Monica an icy stare. "And thanks a lot for bothering to let ME know that it was all over. You know, you could have spared me all of this by just telling me at once. You could have spared me this damn pain and four years of humiliation."
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Monica objected. "Honey I love you! Very, very much! We BOTH do!"
"To hell with your so-called love!" Chandler yelled. "To hell with it! I don't want it! I'd rather take a walk through Dante's stupid funnel than to be loved by the two of you! Your love stinks, and it's the kind of love that shouldn't be allowed to even exist! All it does is hurt people like hell!"
"Calm down!" Joey yelled back.
"Shut up!" Chandler yelled back at him. "Shut the hell up! Do you realize how appalling you are? Do you realize that only a really SICK person would do what you've done to me!"
"I'm SORRY, okay?" Joey said. "I'm SORRY! I can't do much more than saying that I'm sorry now! And for the record, what's your love really worth if you can't offer forgiveness to those who you love?"
"What are you gonna say next, 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'?" Chandler asked, walking closer to Joey. "Don't stand here and expect me to feel anything but hatred and spite towards you, Joey! Nobody who does something like you did is worth loving!"
"Chandler you're going too far!" Monica objected.
"Shut up!" Chandler hissed at her. "Don't think that ANYTHING you say will help HIS case!"
"How can you just go from loving me as a friend to hating my guts?" Joey asked, his voice shivering.
"You ought to know" Chandler replied. "After all, you were the one who one second couldn't do anything to betray a friend and then the next groped my wife and did her! I am so DISGUSTED by you, you're the worst hypocrite I have ever know and it makes me want to puke!"
"Oh I'm so sorry for falling in lo--" Joey began angrily, but got silenced by another hit in the face from Chandler.
Monica let out a cry, and then burst into tears. She had never seen Chandler hit anyone before, and she could never have imagined that Joey would be one to be hit. Joey raised his hand to his mouth and carefully touched the part of his lip and cheek that Chandler had hit. He could taste blood in his mouth, and he was starting to get worried that Chandler might go too far.
"You have no idea what love really is!" Chandler hissed at him. "I love Monica. I do. No matter what happens, I don't think I could stop loving her. You would stop loving her as soon as someone in a short skirt walks by. You don't deserve someone good. Although I might think you deserve Monica. She's just your type, commitment doesn't mean shit to her!"
Monica tried her best to stop crying. When Chandler said that he would love her no matter what, she had felt relieved and happy, but when he continued she realized that he wouldn't let her off the hook so easily.
"Chandler please leave him alone, please don't hurt Joey anymore" she begged. "Please don't do anything you'll regret. You're not like this really Chandler, we all know it."
Chandler gave Joey one more look.
"I have nothing more to say to you. You're a pathetic scumbag, and I don't want to even hear your name again in the future. And if you come anywhere near me, or my sons, I don't know what I'll do with you. No matter how much time you spend in a box Joey, you won't be forgiven. Although locking you inside a box for the rest of time is something I wouldn't mind doing right now. But once you've left this house today, don't ever come back."
He turned and walked over to the desk. He placed his hands on the desk and closed his eyes hard, leaning his head down. Joey slowly rose to his feet, the hit had knocked him down. He looked at the hand that had been touching his bruised lip and cheek, and he saw blood on it. He knew Chandler could be serious about what he had said. He had never seen Chandler this angry before. But he also knew that Chandler might change his mind soon, once he had calmed down a little. The only thing he really knew for sure, was that from now on Chandler wouldn't be his close friend anymore.
"Honey…" Monica softly said to Chandler. "Honey listen to yourself. This isn't you. You've always been able to forgive, why can't you take some time to calm down and then think about this rationally?"
"Because I'm through with you taking advantage of me" Chandler answered. "I am so sick of you using my willingness to forgive, to being cheated on and deceived. You had all of my trust in your hands Monica, what you did with it was your own deal. You threw it away along with the condom you used when you first slept with him."
"I believe that trust is more important than monogamy" Monica said, quoting 'Affirmation', which was one of Chandler's favourite songs. "And I think that I managed to keep your trust because I told you what had been between Joey and me. I let you know, I gave you the truth."
"I believe in karma, what you give and what you get returned" Chandler replied, quoting the chorus of 'Affirmation'. "I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned. I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side. I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye." He looked up at her. "So do you know what you've got, Monica? I sure hope so. Because it's time for you to say goodbye."
*
Monica and Joey were quiet for a long time. Both were lost in thought.
Joey felt like hell, both physically and emotionally. His eye hurt from before, he realized he would get something of a black eye there. He had stopped bleeding in his mouth, and he didn't dare to check if any of his teeth felt loose. They probably didn't, Chandler hadn't hit him to knock anything out, but he didn't want to scare himself by telling himself that some teeth felt loose when he touched them. His lip was getting an ugly bruise. He sat down on a desk chair with a sigh.
Monica had long watched the door where Chandler had stormed out, but now she didn't take her eyes off her hands. She was slowly twirling her wedding ring, feeling secure in knowing it was there. She knew that when she had to take it off was when she'd lost everything. The ring had from the first day been a source of comfort and security for her, it had symbolised Chandler's love for her and it stood for everything she had wanted when she was little. A marriage full of love, where she could feel completely secure. The knowledge that someone loved her very much and that she wasn't going to die alone. For her it symbolised the knowledge that she would always have someone to fall back on no matter what happened. As long as his ring was still on her finger. And Chandler's last words before storming out had scared her.
"Oh god Joey…" she said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm gonna die alone."
Joey let out a frustrated moan and rose to his feet. He started pacing front and back in the small office, clearly annoyed.
"Damn it Monica, is that all you can think about?" he asked. "We've lost EVERYTHING! Everything! We've done something incredibly stupid and we're gonna pay for it the rest of our lives. And all you can worry about is your stupid fear of ending up an old maid! Monica don't you realize what's really happened? We've lost it all! You name it, we lost it!"
"Oh you don't think I know that?" Monica asked and rose to her feet, annoyed as well. "I lost my future! My entire future! A future I depended on!"
"Yeah, well it's all your fault that we're even in this situation!" Joey said, and stopped pacing.
"Uh, excuse me?" Monica objected. "I think you need to back up the photo album there, see in mine, YOU were the one to initiate the first kiss! And for the record it was because of you that we ended up in bed together in the first place!"
"Don't blame me for you flirting with me when I was getting drunk!" Joey said. "And wasn't even talking about that! You brought this whole thing down on us when you told Chandler! What the hell did you have to go and do that for, huh? Now he's mad, heartbroken and going through something horrible, I'm standing here with a bruised face, a lost best friend and a broken heart, and you're standing here with a heartbreak as well and a broken future! And you never even gave me a chance! Not one chance to get prepared for this!"
"You had four years."
"Well everything is all gone to hell right now!" Joey replied. "And it's all thanks to YOU! Three people with heartbreaks, ruined friendships and betrayed trusts! So tell me, what was so important that it was worth all of this?"
"I just couldn't live with it anymore, Joe!" Monica defended herself. "I just couldn't pretend any longer that this thing between you and I never happened! I couldn't let him think things about me that weren't true, couldn't let him love me for someone I'm not! And sooner or later you have to stand for what you've done! That's what I want to teach my boys, to take responsibility for your actions!"
"Well your four years late for that!" Joey replied, getting more annoyed. "And you could for fucks sake have given me at least a hint that you were gonna tell him. What, you think this is all about YOU? Get off your narcissistic cloud and realize that this affects two more people! Four if you count Lukas and Max, who will have to suffer from the consequences this will have on yours and Chandler's marriage. Seven people if you count all our friends! And how do you think they'll see me after this, huh? I'm gonna get the total blame for this whole damn thing!"
"Oh that's what you think?" Monica said. "No, you're wrong! I'M gonna be the one who gets the blame, because I shouldn't have cheated in the first place, let alone with you! They're gonna see me for a tramp, just like Chandler does!"
Her voice broke when she said his name, and she slowly sank back down on the couch, crying.
"Your tears have no affect on me" Joey said, knowing it was a lie. "I'm gonna leave now. I don't think I'm too welcome to stay right now. I don't think I'll ever be again." He walked to the door and stopped in the doorway. He turned and looked at her. "Good luck saving your marriage." Then he left.
*
Chandler sat on the bed and stared blankly on the wall. He had Monica's engagement ring in his hands, he was playing absentmindedly with it, letting it go from one hand to the other.
Right now he felt blank. Completely blank. During the night he had been so shocked and so hurt, he had still thought it was some sick joke she was pulling on him. But then when he had talked to Joey, when he had seen the friend who had betrayed him, he had realized, known for sure, that it was the truth. Two of the people he trusted the most were backstabbers, and it hurt so much that these two people were Monica and Joey. Why did it had to be them? Why his wife and his best friend?
He had been very angry when he'd seen Joey. And then when he saw Joey together with Monica on the bed he had just lost it completely, he had gotten so angry that he had to vent his anger, take it out on someone. He was afraid to go anywhere near the boys, because he didn't want them to have to suffer from his anger. So he took it out on the two people who had caused it. But then in the middle of the yelling he had suddenly felt everything wash off of him except for the loneliness and the hurt. He felt too drained to be angry right then, and of fear of becoming mushy with them he had ended up storming out.
Now he just felt empty. Crying wasn't for him, but even if it had been he probably wouldn't have cried. Right now he wasn't really sad. He was depressed, but not sad as a separate emotion. He felt like just crawling under the covers and just stay there until all these emotions went away. But he knew that they never would.
He tried so hard to hate Monica, but that was hard too. Joey was easier to hate, because even though he'd loved Joey as a friend he'd never felt anything for him as strong as what he'd felt for Monica. He had placed his entire future in her hands, she had just thrown it all away. He felt like such a fool for not even realizing it sooner. He couldn't believe that they had managed to have an ongoing affair for months, without him noticing it. The lyrics of an old song from the beginning of the century came to him, he was reminded of them when he thought about his situation.
Baby
I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me
What's the secret
That you've been hiding
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway
I guess it's over
I can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me
Chandler kept staring on the wall and wondered what he was going to do now.
DISCLAIMER: The characters don't belong to me, but you all knew that. The lyrics for "Affirmation" are owned by Savage Garden I guess. I don't know how owns the lyrics for "Fool Again", but ten dollars say it ain't Westlife... :) The song isn't mine at least, but everyone knew that already! And also, if the lyrics aren't really correct then that's 'cause I don't really like Westlife and I hardly listen to them, so I don't know the lyrics too well.
So please review (help my review rate get better, lol!) and tell me what you think. Part 10 might take a while, I'm swamped at school right now and I put schoolwork before fic writing... Oh, and also, I would like to ask for reviews in English only, please. I got a pair in French, which I don't speak too well, and it's a shame that I can't understand what those reviews said... So please, keep it in English! Thanks!
INTRODUCTION: The next part. Not too much happens... This is far from my best work, so consider yourself warned, :)!
Thirty minutes later the three of them met up in Chandler's upstairs office. Monica sat down on the sofa and kept her wide open eyes staring into space, or possibly at some spot on the floor. Joey stood by the wall, afraid of what Chandler's reaction would be if he glanced at Monica. Chandler stood by the door, with his arms crossed just like before.
"Okay, now I want to know everything" he said.
"Look Chandler, I've already told you that neither of us really know how it all happened…" Monica said. "I mean, all I can remember is that suddenly we were kissing, and one thing led to another and then we had gone all the way…"
"I don't give a shit about that right now" Chandler said. He started walking across the room. "Give me details of what you did together. I want to know it all, every sick detail."
"Chandler we don't really remember--" Joey tried, but got cut off.
"Did she blow you?" Chandler asked, stopping by his desk. He turned to look at Monica. "Did you?" He looked back at Joey. "Did she?"
"No" Joey said with a head shake. "She didn't want to have any oral sex."
"Liar" Chandler said. "Monica is always up for that. Aren't you, honey?" The last bit had been added with loads of sarcasm.
"Yes…" Monica said so low that the guys could barely hear her. "But I never had any with Joey."
"She's telling the truth" Joey said. "Look, she told me that you were the only one she'd ever given oral sex to, and she wanted to keep it that way. And she didn't want me to give her any, because she thought it got too personal that way."
"What are you, some hooker who doesn't kiss?" Chandler said to Monica.
"Chandler stop talking like that!" Joey said.
"I talk to her however I want to!" Chandler hissed at him. "And you can keep your big fat mouth shut until I ask you anything!"
"Who are you, some sort of cop in a TV movie?" Joey said, getting annoyed. "Chandler just because we did something wrong it doesn't give you the right to--"
"Correction, asshole!" Chandler interrupted. "I will talk to you two in whatever way I want to, I will say anything I feel like, you two have NOTHING to say about what's right! Because what's right is to not cheat, especially not with your husband's best friend!"
"Yes, but honey do you have to talk like this?" Monica asked. "Can't you please be civil?"
"Can't you please be faithful?" Chandler replied. "No, wait, sorry, my bad, that's already too late. You CAN'T be faithful."
"Chandler damn it I--" she began, but Chandler cut her off.
"You know, last morning when I woke up I was very much in love, and I was happier than you could imagine! Today I am miserable, I am DISGUSTED but most of all I'm devastated!" Chandler said. "You destroyed my life completely. Now how does it feel?"
"Chandler it's not fair of you to say that!" Monica objected and tried hard not to cry again. "Look you've only just found out, can't you and I work on this?"
"What's there to work on?" Chandler asked. "Some no-good marriage that means squad to you? A marriage that's only a marriage to the NAME?"
"That's not true" Monica objected, and looked down on her hands.
"Like hell it isn't."
"Well what do you want us to do?" Joey asked. "Just tell us and we'll do it!"
"No" Chandler said. "Because the only thing I want from you two is some sort of guarantee that this never actually happened. And you could never give that to me because it DID happen. I wish to god that I had never met you, Joey Tribbiani."
"So you're just gonna give up on 18 years of friendship and 12 years of love?"
"Correction. YOU gave up on it. And it wasn't after eighteen years of love and twelve years of friendship, because you gave up four years ago." He turned and gave Monica an icy stare. "And thanks a lot for bothering to let ME know that it was all over. You know, you could have spared me all of this by just telling me at once. You could have spared me this damn pain and four years of humiliation."
"You don't know what you're talking about!" Monica objected. "Honey I love you! Very, very much! We BOTH do!"
"To hell with your so-called love!" Chandler yelled. "To hell with it! I don't want it! I'd rather take a walk through Dante's stupid funnel than to be loved by the two of you! Your love stinks, and it's the kind of love that shouldn't be allowed to even exist! All it does is hurt people like hell!"
"Calm down!" Joey yelled back.
"Shut up!" Chandler yelled back at him. "Shut the hell up! Do you realize how appalling you are? Do you realize that only a really SICK person would do what you've done to me!"
"I'm SORRY, okay?" Joey said. "I'm SORRY! I can't do much more than saying that I'm sorry now! And for the record, what's your love really worth if you can't offer forgiveness to those who you love?"
"What are you gonna say next, 'to err is human, to forgive is divine'?" Chandler asked, walking closer to Joey. "Don't stand here and expect me to feel anything but hatred and spite towards you, Joey! Nobody who does something like you did is worth loving!"
"Chandler you're going too far!" Monica objected.
"Shut up!" Chandler hissed at her. "Don't think that ANYTHING you say will help HIS case!"
"How can you just go from loving me as a friend to hating my guts?" Joey asked, his voice shivering.
"You ought to know" Chandler replied. "After all, you were the one who one second couldn't do anything to betray a friend and then the next groped my wife and did her! I am so DISGUSTED by you, you're the worst hypocrite I have ever know and it makes me want to puke!"
"Oh I'm so sorry for falling in lo--" Joey began angrily, but got silenced by another hit in the face from Chandler.
Monica let out a cry, and then burst into tears. She had never seen Chandler hit anyone before, and she could never have imagined that Joey would be one to be hit. Joey raised his hand to his mouth and carefully touched the part of his lip and cheek that Chandler had hit. He could taste blood in his mouth, and he was starting to get worried that Chandler might go too far.
"You have no idea what love really is!" Chandler hissed at him. "I love Monica. I do. No matter what happens, I don't think I could stop loving her. You would stop loving her as soon as someone in a short skirt walks by. You don't deserve someone good. Although I might think you deserve Monica. She's just your type, commitment doesn't mean shit to her!"
Monica tried her best to stop crying. When Chandler said that he would love her no matter what, she had felt relieved and happy, but when he continued she realized that he wouldn't let her off the hook so easily.
"Chandler please leave him alone, please don't hurt Joey anymore" she begged. "Please don't do anything you'll regret. You're not like this really Chandler, we all know it."
Chandler gave Joey one more look.
"I have nothing more to say to you. You're a pathetic scumbag, and I don't want to even hear your name again in the future. And if you come anywhere near me, or my sons, I don't know what I'll do with you. No matter how much time you spend in a box Joey, you won't be forgiven. Although locking you inside a box for the rest of time is something I wouldn't mind doing right now. But once you've left this house today, don't ever come back."
He turned and walked over to the desk. He placed his hands on the desk and closed his eyes hard, leaning his head down. Joey slowly rose to his feet, the hit had knocked him down. He looked at the hand that had been touching his bruised lip and cheek, and he saw blood on it. He knew Chandler could be serious about what he had said. He had never seen Chandler this angry before. But he also knew that Chandler might change his mind soon, once he had calmed down a little. The only thing he really knew for sure, was that from now on Chandler wouldn't be his close friend anymore.
"Honey…" Monica softly said to Chandler. "Honey listen to yourself. This isn't you. You've always been able to forgive, why can't you take some time to calm down and then think about this rationally?"
"Because I'm through with you taking advantage of me" Chandler answered. "I am so sick of you using my willingness to forgive, to being cheated on and deceived. You had all of my trust in your hands Monica, what you did with it was your own deal. You threw it away along with the condom you used when you first slept with him."
"I believe that trust is more important than monogamy" Monica said, quoting 'Affirmation', which was one of Chandler's favourite songs. "And I think that I managed to keep your trust because I told you what had been between Joey and me. I let you know, I gave you the truth."
"I believe in karma, what you give and what you get returned" Chandler replied, quoting the chorus of 'Affirmation'. "I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned. I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side. I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye." He looked up at her. "So do you know what you've got, Monica? I sure hope so. Because it's time for you to say goodbye."
*
Monica and Joey were quiet for a long time. Both were lost in thought.
Joey felt like hell, both physically and emotionally. His eye hurt from before, he realized he would get something of a black eye there. He had stopped bleeding in his mouth, and he didn't dare to check if any of his teeth felt loose. They probably didn't, Chandler hadn't hit him to knock anything out, but he didn't want to scare himself by telling himself that some teeth felt loose when he touched them. His lip was getting an ugly bruise. He sat down on a desk chair with a sigh.
Monica had long watched the door where Chandler had stormed out, but now she didn't take her eyes off her hands. She was slowly twirling her wedding ring, feeling secure in knowing it was there. She knew that when she had to take it off was when she'd lost everything. The ring had from the first day been a source of comfort and security for her, it had symbolised Chandler's love for her and it stood for everything she had wanted when she was little. A marriage full of love, where she could feel completely secure. The knowledge that someone loved her very much and that she wasn't going to die alone. For her it symbolised the knowledge that she would always have someone to fall back on no matter what happened. As long as his ring was still on her finger. And Chandler's last words before storming out had scared her.
"Oh god Joey…" she said, finally breaking the silence. "I'm gonna die alone."
Joey let out a frustrated moan and rose to his feet. He started pacing front and back in the small office, clearly annoyed.
"Damn it Monica, is that all you can think about?" he asked. "We've lost EVERYTHING! Everything! We've done something incredibly stupid and we're gonna pay for it the rest of our lives. And all you can worry about is your stupid fear of ending up an old maid! Monica don't you realize what's really happened? We've lost it all! You name it, we lost it!"
"Oh you don't think I know that?" Monica asked and rose to her feet, annoyed as well. "I lost my future! My entire future! A future I depended on!"
"Yeah, well it's all your fault that we're even in this situation!" Joey said, and stopped pacing.
"Uh, excuse me?" Monica objected. "I think you need to back up the photo album there, see in mine, YOU were the one to initiate the first kiss! And for the record it was because of you that we ended up in bed together in the first place!"
"Don't blame me for you flirting with me when I was getting drunk!" Joey said. "And wasn't even talking about that! You brought this whole thing down on us when you told Chandler! What the hell did you have to go and do that for, huh? Now he's mad, heartbroken and going through something horrible, I'm standing here with a bruised face, a lost best friend and a broken heart, and you're standing here with a heartbreak as well and a broken future! And you never even gave me a chance! Not one chance to get prepared for this!"
"You had four years."
"Well everything is all gone to hell right now!" Joey replied. "And it's all thanks to YOU! Three people with heartbreaks, ruined friendships and betrayed trusts! So tell me, what was so important that it was worth all of this?"
"I just couldn't live with it anymore, Joe!" Monica defended herself. "I just couldn't pretend any longer that this thing between you and I never happened! I couldn't let him think things about me that weren't true, couldn't let him love me for someone I'm not! And sooner or later you have to stand for what you've done! That's what I want to teach my boys, to take responsibility for your actions!"
"Well your four years late for that!" Joey replied, getting more annoyed. "And you could for fucks sake have given me at least a hint that you were gonna tell him. What, you think this is all about YOU? Get off your narcissistic cloud and realize that this affects two more people! Four if you count Lukas and Max, who will have to suffer from the consequences this will have on yours and Chandler's marriage. Seven people if you count all our friends! And how do you think they'll see me after this, huh? I'm gonna get the total blame for this whole damn thing!"
"Oh that's what you think?" Monica said. "No, you're wrong! I'M gonna be the one who gets the blame, because I shouldn't have cheated in the first place, let alone with you! They're gonna see me for a tramp, just like Chandler does!"
Her voice broke when she said his name, and she slowly sank back down on the couch, crying.
"Your tears have no affect on me" Joey said, knowing it was a lie. "I'm gonna leave now. I don't think I'm too welcome to stay right now. I don't think I'll ever be again." He walked to the door and stopped in the doorway. He turned and looked at her. "Good luck saving your marriage." Then he left.
*
Chandler sat on the bed and stared blankly on the wall. He had Monica's engagement ring in his hands, he was playing absentmindedly with it, letting it go from one hand to the other.
Right now he felt blank. Completely blank. During the night he had been so shocked and so hurt, he had still thought it was some sick joke she was pulling on him. But then when he had talked to Joey, when he had seen the friend who had betrayed him, he had realized, known for sure, that it was the truth. Two of the people he trusted the most were backstabbers, and it hurt so much that these two people were Monica and Joey. Why did it had to be them? Why his wife and his best friend?
He had been very angry when he'd seen Joey. And then when he saw Joey together with Monica on the bed he had just lost it completely, he had gotten so angry that he had to vent his anger, take it out on someone. He was afraid to go anywhere near the boys, because he didn't want them to have to suffer from his anger. So he took it out on the two people who had caused it. But then in the middle of the yelling he had suddenly felt everything wash off of him except for the loneliness and the hurt. He felt too drained to be angry right then, and of fear of becoming mushy with them he had ended up storming out.
Now he just felt empty. Crying wasn't for him, but even if it had been he probably wouldn't have cried. Right now he wasn't really sad. He was depressed, but not sad as a separate emotion. He felt like just crawling under the covers and just stay there until all these emotions went away. But he knew that they never would.
He tried so hard to hate Monica, but that was hard too. Joey was easier to hate, because even though he'd loved Joey as a friend he'd never felt anything for him as strong as what he'd felt for Monica. He had placed his entire future in her hands, she had just thrown it all away. He felt like such a fool for not even realizing it sooner. He couldn't believe that they had managed to have an ongoing affair for months, without him noticing it. The lyrics of an old song from the beginning of the century came to him, he was reminded of them when he thought about his situation.
Baby
I know the story
I've seen the picture
It's written all over your face
Tell me
What's the secret
That you've been hiding
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming
I should have read the signs
Anyway
I guess it's over
I can't believe that I'm the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know
You never told me
Chandler kept staring on the wall and wondered what he was going to do now.
DISCLAIMER: The characters don't belong to me, but you all knew that. The lyrics for "Affirmation" are owned by Savage Garden I guess. I don't know how owns the lyrics for "Fool Again", but ten dollars say it ain't Westlife... :) The song isn't mine at least, but everyone knew that already! And also, if the lyrics aren't really correct then that's 'cause I don't really like Westlife and I hardly listen to them, so I don't know the lyrics too well.
So please review (help my review rate get better, lol!) and tell me what you think. Part 10 might take a while, I'm swamped at school right now and I put schoolwork before fic writing... Oh, and also, I would like to ask for reviews in English only, please. I got a pair in French, which I don't speak too well, and it's a shame that I can't understand what those reviews said... So please, keep it in English! Thanks!