Part two.
The three quickly ran off. Within no time, they had reached Garden.
"Whoa, that was, like, groovy, man. So, there's something...I'm supposed to ask... Something important... Oh, yeah! Do you guys think you could burn me a copy of that Guster bootleg?" Quistis asked.
"Um, why would you want that?" Alan asked.
"No reason, wait, I remember what I needed to ask. Do you know how to take care of a GF?"
"Oh, I can *take care* of a GF, all right...."Canabis replied, "IN BED!!!!" Alan looked angry.
"Dude, sure. You get the naked chick. How do I take care of the Thunderbird and the Big Red Beast-Thingy?"
"Well..." Quistis replied, "that's a dilly of a pickle. Sucks to be you, huh?"
"WHAT? You're an instructor! You can't do that stuff!" Alan looked angry.
"Just change into your uniforms and head for the lobby." Quistis replied.
"But we haven't gotten uniforms!" Canabis wailed.
"Don't worry about it. Peace.." Quistis headed away, fainting in front of her Trepies. As Canabis and Alan left, one of them walked over.
"You Sons-of-bitches, you fucked her, didn't you?" the guy asked.
"Didn't we tell you we would?" Alan asked.
The two walked into their dorms. Each picked out a different half and proceeded to change into their uniforms.
"Dude! I'm set! Should I head over?" Canabis asked.
"Not yet, man. I'm going to take a nap. Beating up on large red beast thingys always makes me sleepy." Alan curled up and fell asleep.
"Whoa! I'm home! Is this a dream?" Alan asked. "Canabis! Wake up! What? He's not here? What's the dilly?"
Squall walked over to Alan's car. "Hmmm. This must be the form of transportation that Alan uses. He must be a millionaire. Virtually no one I know of actually owns their own car."
"Oh, crud. I'm looking...at my world?"
Squall proceeded to head towards the Interstate and Alan's school.
"Damn, Alan has good music taste. I wonder why he stuck me with those craptacular songs for my songfics..." Squall wondered. Within no time, Squall reached Alan's school.
Squall walked towards the entrance as various people spoke to him.
"Tom! What's going on! Excellent costume, man! What are you?"
"Who's wearing a costume?" Squall asked.
"What? Are you forming another character?" one asked.
"Character?"
"I'm going to need to talk to you somewhere in private." Squall gestured to one of the people and they both went to the guidance counselor's office. When they got there, they found a young skinhead talking to the counselor.
"So you see, everyone else is into beating the hell out of punks and stuff for taking up Thayer, but I'm growing out of it. I'd like to start on a more grown-up venture, like my own floral shop...TOM! Steve! What's going on?"
"Nothing. I need to talk to Dr.Kadowaki...the counselor."
"Oh. Character, eh? You might want to speak with Josh. He's the character guy."
"Okay then."
The two headed toward the signs, where they eventually found the person in question leading people in Improv games.
"Tom! Excellent costume! What's going on?" Josh asked.
"I am going to need your help on something, but before I do, I will need everyone to put all of their beliefs into the fact that the next words out of my mouth are the truth, because they will be." Squall looked motionless.
"O...kay..."Josh replied.
"To begin with, has anyone played the game Final Fantasy 8?" Squall asked. A scattering of hands were raised.
"Good. I am Squall Leonhart from said game. I had gotten this guy I knew as 'Alan' that all of you know as Tom and his little sidekick Canabis to help us locate one of our characters who was stuck in your universe, and a time-space warp occurred while I was trying to go home. As a result, I am here, and 'Tom' and 'Canabis' are in the video game as we speak." Squall looked determined. The people started laughing.
"YOU RULE, TOM!" they said.
"Actually, I believe Squall here. I mean, I always suspected Tom and Dave would get into some trouble. I mean, I put on both of their mid-terms, 'THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET THEMSELVES STUCK IN A POPULAR VIDEO GAME IF THEY KEEP GOING LIKE THEY DO,'" Josh replied.
"Yes. Basically, I need to know how to get help to free them so that I can go home."
"Hold up. Do you think we should just all try and beat the game? Would that free them?"
"Actually, isn't there three more games in Japan either now or coming out? Would they be saved?" the skinhead asked.
"We'll have to check with Cary on that one. He's across the hall." Squall quickly ran across the hall.
Alan woke up and decided to head over to the SeeD test.
"Dude, what happened?" Canabis asked.
"We're in deep shit. Squall has met Josh. With our luck, Squall's going to end up like us..."
"A fate that will be too horrible for us to imagine." Canabis looked solemn. They walked over to the front of the Garden.
"What's up, guys?" Quistis asked. "Teams are here as of right now. You guys have... Let's see… You'll be with… Zell Dincht. Quite a lively fellow."
"Awesome, man!" Alan said.
"Wait, isn't he the one who's...." Canabis asked.
"Lord, no! That's Irvine! Zell's just a fat bastard."
" Over here, Zell!", Quistis yelled. Zell quickly ran over to greet the two, looking at Alan's trademark "Mullet/Tail combination" and Canabis's trademark blue hair.
"FINALLY! I meet two people with even more bizarre hair than I do!" Zell went to shake their hands. Alan and Canabis both put their hands out, then all three proceeded to slick back their hair.
"Ah, I see you've been *initiated* by Seifer. Heard he whooped you pretty bad this morning."
"What? This? No, it wasn't from Seifer!" Alan asked.
"Actually, he got it in a clinch...with your mom...in bed!" Canabis replied.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOM?" Zell asked. " Look, Seifer's just being a pain in the ass. All you have to do is ignore him."
"Easier said than done." Alan replied.
"Ahem…" Quistis replied.
"What do YOU want?" Zell and Alan asked.
" Excuse me, but… That Seifer you're talking about…
He's your squad leader."
"SAY WHAT!?" Zell asked.
"I'm sorry, but now me and my associates are going to need to make like we're dealers and just smack you up." Canabis said.
"It can't be changed. Seifer! Are you here?" Quistis called. Seifer walked over to them.
"Ah, yes. Fujin and Raijin tagging along as usual…" Zell said.
"And as we all know, Seifer's had sexual relations with BOTH of them..." Alan replied.
"You're the squad leader. Good luck to you." Quistis replied.
"…Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student that needs them, eh? You have three right here who you could..." Seifer replied.
"Okay then." Quistis replied. Suddenly, she, Alan, Canabis, Zell, the Disciplinary Committee, and various people who were just walking by all yelled "Good luck, Seifer," laughing their asses off.
"Add Instructor Trepe to the list!" Seifer yelled before running off to blubber like a little Catholic school bitch with a skinned knee.
"Well then. You're all assigned to Squad B. I'll be the instructor in charge.Teamwork is of the utmost importance. Let's get through this exam, everyone!" Quistis walked towards the side.
"Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way!" Seifer said to his squad.
"Don't worry, we plan to. You smell like Howard Stern's ass!" Canabis replied.
The four headed off to the car that the Garden was providing. As they went, the people got to talking.
"Yo, Alan. It's a pretty long trip. Would you...'Show me your gunblade'?" Zell asked.
"………"
"Hey, Canabis, can you let him, 'Touch your fuzzy Autobot'?" Alan asked.
"………"
"Depends. Zell, will you let me 'play with your action figure'?" Canabis asked.
"HELL NO! ALL I WANTED TO KNOW IS IF HE HAD A GUNBLADE, nothing else!" Zell asked.
"Sorry, I don't. Canabis does have a fuzzy autobot and would be perfectly willing to show you, though..." Alan replied.
"WHORE!" Canabis replied.
Zell proceeded to start punching various people for no apparent reason. Seifer got angry. "Stop that…that really hurt!…Chicken-wuss!"
"LOOK WHO'S TALKING, BITCH!" Zell yelled.
"Knock it off!" Quistis said.
"But he started it..." Seifer whined.
"So, Quistis, who was that chick in the infirmary with us?" Canabis asked.
"Was someone there?"
"Well, yes, but we find out around disc two, so you don't need that stuff, man..." Alan replied.
"Way to spoil the plot, Alan!" they all yelled.
"This is great… I have Chicken-wuss, a little bitch, and a guy who can't keep his mouth shut in my squad..."
The three quickly ran off. Within no time, they had reached Garden.
"Whoa, that was, like, groovy, man. So, there's something...I'm supposed to ask... Something important... Oh, yeah! Do you guys think you could burn me a copy of that Guster bootleg?" Quistis asked.
"Um, why would you want that?" Alan asked.
"No reason, wait, I remember what I needed to ask. Do you know how to take care of a GF?"
"Oh, I can *take care* of a GF, all right...."Canabis replied, "IN BED!!!!" Alan looked angry.
"Dude, sure. You get the naked chick. How do I take care of the Thunderbird and the Big Red Beast-Thingy?"
"Well..." Quistis replied, "that's a dilly of a pickle. Sucks to be you, huh?"
"WHAT? You're an instructor! You can't do that stuff!" Alan looked angry.
"Just change into your uniforms and head for the lobby." Quistis replied.
"But we haven't gotten uniforms!" Canabis wailed.
"Don't worry about it. Peace.." Quistis headed away, fainting in front of her Trepies. As Canabis and Alan left, one of them walked over.
"You Sons-of-bitches, you fucked her, didn't you?" the guy asked.
"Didn't we tell you we would?" Alan asked.
The two walked into their dorms. Each picked out a different half and proceeded to change into their uniforms.
"Dude! I'm set! Should I head over?" Canabis asked.
"Not yet, man. I'm going to take a nap. Beating up on large red beast thingys always makes me sleepy." Alan curled up and fell asleep.
"Whoa! I'm home! Is this a dream?" Alan asked. "Canabis! Wake up! What? He's not here? What's the dilly?"
Squall walked over to Alan's car. "Hmmm. This must be the form of transportation that Alan uses. He must be a millionaire. Virtually no one I know of actually owns their own car."
"Oh, crud. I'm looking...at my world?"
Squall proceeded to head towards the Interstate and Alan's school.
"Damn, Alan has good music taste. I wonder why he stuck me with those craptacular songs for my songfics..." Squall wondered. Within no time, Squall reached Alan's school.
Squall walked towards the entrance as various people spoke to him.
"Tom! What's going on! Excellent costume, man! What are you?"
"Who's wearing a costume?" Squall asked.
"What? Are you forming another character?" one asked.
"Character?"
"I'm going to need to talk to you somewhere in private." Squall gestured to one of the people and they both went to the guidance counselor's office. When they got there, they found a young skinhead talking to the counselor.
"So you see, everyone else is into beating the hell out of punks and stuff for taking up Thayer, but I'm growing out of it. I'd like to start on a more grown-up venture, like my own floral shop...TOM! Steve! What's going on?"
"Nothing. I need to talk to Dr.Kadowaki...the counselor."
"Oh. Character, eh? You might want to speak with Josh. He's the character guy."
"Okay then."
The two headed toward the signs, where they eventually found the person in question leading people in Improv games.
"Tom! Excellent costume! What's going on?" Josh asked.
"I am going to need your help on something, but before I do, I will need everyone to put all of their beliefs into the fact that the next words out of my mouth are the truth, because they will be." Squall looked motionless.
"O...kay..."Josh replied.
"To begin with, has anyone played the game Final Fantasy 8?" Squall asked. A scattering of hands were raised.
"Good. I am Squall Leonhart from said game. I had gotten this guy I knew as 'Alan' that all of you know as Tom and his little sidekick Canabis to help us locate one of our characters who was stuck in your universe, and a time-space warp occurred while I was trying to go home. As a result, I am here, and 'Tom' and 'Canabis' are in the video game as we speak." Squall looked determined. The people started laughing.
"YOU RULE, TOM!" they said.
"Actually, I believe Squall here. I mean, I always suspected Tom and Dave would get into some trouble. I mean, I put on both of their mid-terms, 'THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET THEMSELVES STUCK IN A POPULAR VIDEO GAME IF THEY KEEP GOING LIKE THEY DO,'" Josh replied.
"Yes. Basically, I need to know how to get help to free them so that I can go home."
"Hold up. Do you think we should just all try and beat the game? Would that free them?"
"Actually, isn't there three more games in Japan either now or coming out? Would they be saved?" the skinhead asked.
"We'll have to check with Cary on that one. He's across the hall." Squall quickly ran across the hall.
Alan woke up and decided to head over to the SeeD test.
"Dude, what happened?" Canabis asked.
"We're in deep shit. Squall has met Josh. With our luck, Squall's going to end up like us..."
"A fate that will be too horrible for us to imagine." Canabis looked solemn. They walked over to the front of the Garden.
"What's up, guys?" Quistis asked. "Teams are here as of right now. You guys have... Let's see… You'll be with… Zell Dincht. Quite a lively fellow."
"Awesome, man!" Alan said.
"Wait, isn't he the one who's...." Canabis asked.
"Lord, no! That's Irvine! Zell's just a fat bastard."
" Over here, Zell!", Quistis yelled. Zell quickly ran over to greet the two, looking at Alan's trademark "Mullet/Tail combination" and Canabis's trademark blue hair.
"FINALLY! I meet two people with even more bizarre hair than I do!" Zell went to shake their hands. Alan and Canabis both put their hands out, then all three proceeded to slick back their hair.
"Ah, I see you've been *initiated* by Seifer. Heard he whooped you pretty bad this morning."
"What? This? No, it wasn't from Seifer!" Alan asked.
"Actually, he got it in a clinch...with your mom...in bed!" Canabis replied.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOM?" Zell asked. " Look, Seifer's just being a pain in the ass. All you have to do is ignore him."
"Easier said than done." Alan replied.
"Ahem…" Quistis replied.
"What do YOU want?" Zell and Alan asked.
" Excuse me, but… That Seifer you're talking about…
He's your squad leader."
"SAY WHAT!?" Zell asked.
"I'm sorry, but now me and my associates are going to need to make like we're dealers and just smack you up." Canabis said.
"It can't be changed. Seifer! Are you here?" Quistis called. Seifer walked over to them.
"Ah, yes. Fujin and Raijin tagging along as usual…" Zell said.
"And as we all know, Seifer's had sexual relations with BOTH of them..." Alan replied.
"You're the squad leader. Good luck to you." Quistis replied.
"…Instructor. I hate it when people wish me luck. Save those words for a bad student that needs them, eh? You have three right here who you could..." Seifer replied.
"Okay then." Quistis replied. Suddenly, she, Alan, Canabis, Zell, the Disciplinary Committee, and various people who were just walking by all yelled "Good luck, Seifer," laughing their asses off.
"Add Instructor Trepe to the list!" Seifer yelled before running off to blubber like a little Catholic school bitch with a skinned knee.
"Well then. You're all assigned to Squad B. I'll be the instructor in charge.Teamwork is of the utmost importance. Let's get through this exam, everyone!" Quistis walked towards the side.
"Listen up! Teamwork means staying out of my way!" Seifer said to his squad.
"Don't worry, we plan to. You smell like Howard Stern's ass!" Canabis replied.
The four headed off to the car that the Garden was providing. As they went, the people got to talking.
"Yo, Alan. It's a pretty long trip. Would you...'Show me your gunblade'?" Zell asked.
"………"
"Hey, Canabis, can you let him, 'Touch your fuzzy Autobot'?" Alan asked.
"………"
"Depends. Zell, will you let me 'play with your action figure'?" Canabis asked.
"HELL NO! ALL I WANTED TO KNOW IS IF HE HAD A GUNBLADE, nothing else!" Zell asked.
"Sorry, I don't. Canabis does have a fuzzy autobot and would be perfectly willing to show you, though..." Alan replied.
"WHORE!" Canabis replied.
Zell proceeded to start punching various people for no apparent reason. Seifer got angry. "Stop that…that really hurt!…Chicken-wuss!"
"LOOK WHO'S TALKING, BITCH!" Zell yelled.
"Knock it off!" Quistis said.
"But he started it..." Seifer whined.
"So, Quistis, who was that chick in the infirmary with us?" Canabis asked.
"Was someone there?"
"Well, yes, but we find out around disc two, so you don't need that stuff, man..." Alan replied.
"Way to spoil the plot, Alan!" they all yelled.
"This is great… I have Chicken-wuss, a little bitch, and a guy who can't keep his mouth shut in my squad..."