disclaimer: Everything belongs to J K Rowling except the characters I created......
The Beguiling of Snape: The Silent Prison 4
Katarina was beginning to worry. Severus had been unconscious for two days now and there was no sign of him waking up. His injuries were not life threatening, however he did have that gash over his right eye. If only she could talk to him but she couldn't. Not knowing what else to do she went into the living room and started to play the piano. This calmed her down and helped her to think. When Katarina had been in school she wanted to be a concert pianist. But that was not a possibility. It was a muggle trade and she was a witch. Her father being a muggle hater had forbidden her to have anything to do with muggles. When at school Professor Dumbledore had asked her to play for him since he was a great lover of music. Now she finally gets to play for a captive audience.
As she started to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, she forgot about everything. She loved playing the piano and this particular piece described how she felt, sad. As the music glided through the air into the room where Severus was laying, she had no idea the effect if was starting to have on him.
The haunting music came into his mind as he was desperately trying to stay asleep. He didn't want to wake up. Katarina was in his dreams taking care of him and he didn't want to come back, but what was that music? It was like a siren's song slowly lulling him back to earth. As he woke he was sad. In his dream she was there so loving and gentle just for him but fate or whoever it was that controlled destiny had thought that he didn't deserve that happiness and brought him back to reality with excruciating pain. But there was still that haunting music. As he rose to go see what beautiful creature could be playing so sweetly, pain overtook his body as he tried to get out of bed. Severus let out a cry of agony and he heard the music abruptly stop and hurried footsteps coming toward him.
His eyes were shut tightly as the pain swept over his body and he didn't see her enter the room. When she touched him a warm peace came over him. Her touch was so gentle. As he opened his eyes he saw her smiling down at him. His eyes grew wide. Fate must have let him die because he was looking at an angel. But how could that be? There was no pain in heaven and he was in excruciating pain, so he asked with a raspy voice,
"Are you real?"
Katarina nodded her head.
"Have you been taking care of me?" he asked.
Again she nodded.
"How long have I been here?"
She gently put a finger to his lips to quiet his words. She then reached to the nightstand and took the small bottle that was sitting on it and motioned for Severus to drink it. He did what she instructed, watching her, not taking his eyes from her, thinking that if he did she would disappear. She then reached for a piece of bandage that had also been on the table and started to bath away the blood on his forearm were he had ripped the stitches when he tried to get up. "There would be a scar there," she thought. He watched her in silence as she fussed over him. She hadn't made a sound. Had she been here all these years? Where exactly were they? His mind was running amuck with questions and he finally spoke.
"Katarina, have you been here all these years?"
She looked at him with tears in here eyes as she nodded. She was shocked that he remembered her name.
"What happened? I was told you were dead."
As the tears came rolling down her cheeks she shook her head.
"Can you tell me what happened?" he whispered as he reached to wipe away the tears.
Katarina took a step backwards so he couldn't touch her and again shook her head "no." She saw a look of sadness cross his face as she backed up. She then put her fingers to her lips and shook her head, hoping he would understand.
And he did. "You can't speak?" he asked with sadness on his face.
She shook her head again and more tears streamed down her face.
"It was Lucius wasn't it?" he asked gritting his teeth.
Katarina looked at him with terror in her eyes and nodded yes.
"That bastard," he said as he realized why she stepped back. "He must have hurt her," Severus thought.
"Do you know what curse he used?"
She shook her head.
"Do you have your wand?"
Sadly this time she mouthed the word "no." as she wiped the tears from her face.
She then held up her index finger to indicate that she would be right back and she left the room.
When she returned a few minutes later she carried a tray laden with soup, bread and tea. She had also put some parchment and a bottle of ink in her pocket. She laid down the tray for Severus to eat and took out the parchment and ink, retrieved a quill from the dresser and sat down in a chair close to Severus' bed. Now it was her turn to ask a few questions. As Severus was eating he watched her as she was writing. "Why would Lucius ever want to hurt her?" he wondered.
When she finished writing she handed the note to Severus. It read…..
You have been here for two days. I found you in a clearing about a quarter of a mile from the cottage. I know that you have been accused of being a traitor to Voldemort that is why your arm was cut. Now I need to know a few things.
- What year is it? If my calculations are correct it is around 1996 or 97
- What has happened to you? What made you become a death eater ?
- Is there anything interesting that I should know about that has happened? I am ignorant to what has been going on in the world
When she handed him the paper and he read it he smiled a little and started to answer her questions.
"The year is 1997. You have been presumed dead for eighteen years," he said gently.
"Next question….I became a death eater for the sole purpose of killing Lucius Malfoy. I hate him with every fiber of my being.
And for your last question.. In the last eighteen years Voldemort has been defeated twice, this time for good. The first time was by James and Lily Potter's son Harry. He was but a year old when the curse that Voldemort cast on him repelled and it hit Voldemort instead. He was gone for thirteen years. He was defeated again at the end of this past term by four of Hogwart's students, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco. Harry you know about, Ron is the youngest son of Molly and Arthur Weasley, Hermione is a muggle born witch who has been the best of her class since she arrived at Hogwarts. And lastly Draco, son of Lucius and Narcissa."
Katarina showed a look of surprise on her face at the news that Lucius Malfoy's son would do anything against his father.
"I can see by the look on your face that this surprises you. Draco was raised to be as cold and uncaring as his father is, but through the years, he had realized that his father is not the answer. Draco is misunderstood most of the time. He has been known to be very cruel, I think as a defense mechanism for his own safety. His father, as you know, is a very cruel man, ruthless," Severus said as Katarina nodded noting that he was staring to look weary. She got up out of her chair, retrieved the empty tray and motioned for Severus to lay down. As he did he asked one last question,
"If you feel up to it sometime, will you tell me what happened to you?"
She simply smiled and mouthed the word "sometime."
The next morning she helped Severus out of bed. She handed him a note that said..
I will help you into the bathroom so you can take care of any business you need to take care of. Then you need to get in the tub. When you are safely in the tub, call me and I will come in and wash that hair. And don't try and tell me you can do it yourself because it needs to be scrubbed and with that arm you can't do it, and you know it.
After he finished the note he looked at her in surprise to find a smile on her face.
"Yes Ma'am," he said with a chuckle.
When he was "safely in the tub" with lots of bubbles, he called her in so she could wash his hair. As she scrubbed he marveled at her gentleness and yet it was probably the cleanest his hair had been in years. After she had finished she handed him another note that said….
When you are finished, your robes are hanging on the back of the door, clean and mended. Breakfast will be ready when you come out.
When he came out of the bathroom he felt cleaner than he had in years. It felt good. The bath had exhausted him, so after breakfast Katarina helped him back into bed. He slept most of the day.
Over the next couple of weeks, Severus and Katarina learned how to communicate without her having to write everything down. Once he was up and about more she became a little more standoffish, as if she were afraid of him.
One morning she got up extra early because she needed to work in the green house. She left him a note explaining…..
Severus,
Today I need to spend in the greenhouse and then see if I can catch some fish for dinner. Breakfast is on the stove. Sorry it's cold, I didn't want to wake you. If you get board there are plenty of books in the library that you can choose from to read. See you this evening…
Katarina
As he sadly read the note he went to the stove to find a covered plate with a meat pie inside. He smiled. It didn't matter to him if it was cold or not because she was a fantastic cook. When he finished his breakfast he made his was to the library to find a book. He was pleased at all the different types of books there were. There was everything from muggle to wizard and anything that you could possible want to read about. As Severus scanned the book titles one in particular caught his eye. The title was The Silent Prison. As he took it off the shelf and settle himself in an overstuffed chair, he began to read. He soon discovered that it wasn't a novel like he thought but a diary of sorts….Katarina's diary. He felt uneasy reading her deepest most thoughts but how else was he going to learn what happened to her. So he put aside the guilt and started to read.
7 August 1979,
Today was the worst day of my life. The man that I love has betrayed me even though he says that it was I who betrayed him. I was brought before Lord Voldemort this morning and asked if I loved Lucius and I told him yes. He then told me that in order to become Lucius' wife I would have to join the wives order. When I refused, Voldemort put the cruciatus curse on me. I hurt so badly that I fell to the floor writhing in agony. Voldemort then ordered Lucius, as a punishment for being such a bad judge of character for a wife, to take me to the woods to kill me, and to make sure that my body was never found. Instead, Lucius brought me here and put a curse on me so that I would never utter another sound again as long as I live. He will be bringing me supplies once a year around the 15th of August. Other than that I will have no contact with any other living human being and will be totally alone. I think that he thinks I will go mad. More than likely I will.
As Severus read this he hated Lucius even more. How could he do this to such a wonderful woman? He continued to read.
15 August 1979,
I wish I were dead! Last night was one of the most terrifying nights of my life. Lucius came back. He was drunk and was rambling on about how I had ruined his life, how Voldemort had chosen a wife for him, and how he came to get what he had waited so long for. He brutally attacked and violated me and branded me on my left breast with the letter "L." Then the bastard wanted breakfast.
As Severus read this he noticed the tear stains on the page and he read on…
I HATE him with all of my being. Before he left he took me again. He told me that I had better learn to enjoy it because he would continue to take what was his. I hope that sometime this year, before he comes back, I die. I don't have the courage to kill myself but who knows, if I have to endure that again, I just might.
He sat there in tears thinking of all the sorrow she had been through. Through the years she would write various different entries of her life and how lonely she was. But every year around the 15th of August he came to claim what he thought was his. He laid the book down in his lap to think when he heard her come in the cottage. He jumped up from the chair and put her book back grabbing another and was seated again before she came in the room.
As she opened the door he looked up to see her standing there soaking wet.
"Did you catch any fish?" he asked trying to hide a smile.
Suddenly she pulled a stringer of fish from behind her back with a big smile. Severus started to laugh. This was the first time she ever heard him laugh. He had a wonderful laugh. He strode over to her and took the fish but as he took them his hand grazed hers and she pulled away like she had been burned. He looked at her with concern and said,
"Why don't I put these in the sink while you go and change your clothes. I would help you clean them but I haven't a clue how to do it."
Katarina smiled at this and nodded her head.
When Katarina returned to the kitchen, she was all clean and dry. As she cooked dinner he watched her. When dinner was ready she motioned for him to sit and they ate. She looked tired. As she was cleaning up the dinner dishes she put her right hand on her left shoulder trying to massage out a knot that had formed there from a day in the greenhouse. Seeing this, Severus walked up behind her and put a hand gently on her shoulder. She spun around with a look of terror on her face as she backed away with tears forming in her beautiful blue eyes.
"Katarina, I am not going to hurt you. I thought that I could help with the knot in your shoulder. Please forgive me if I frightened you," he said as he backed away.
She looked at him with the tears now flowing freely down her face. She walked over to the table and got a piece of parchment and started to write.
I know in my heart that you wouldn't hurt me but I have been hurt so badly and have been without human contact except for Lucius for so long I don't know how to act. Please forgive me for treating you like you had the plague. I am truly sorry. I will try harder not to pull away from you every time you get near me. It's not you, it's me.
When she handed the note to him she smiled.
"Katarina, I just want you to believe when I say I will NEVER hurt you. I promise," he said.
Over the next couple of weeks things got better and she didn't pull away if he happened to touch her. She really started to enjoy his company. They would go down to the stream and he would watch her fish. He got a big kick out of this. They would pack picnic lunches and eat them in the late July sun. One particularly wonderful day as the sun was starting to set a freak rain shower hit and they were both drenched by the time they got back to the cottage.
"Why don't you get a shower first and I will try my hand at lighting a fire like you showed me," he said thoughtfully.
She smiled and went off to get cleaned up. When she returned about thirty minutes later she was amazed. Severus had not only gotten a fire started but had tea made too. She smiled a wonderful smile at him and motioned that it was his turn to get cleaned up. When he returned he was dumbfounded. There was Katarina sitting by the fire combing out the most beautiful head of strawberry blonde hair he had ever seen. When she stood to put it back up in the usual bun it came to her knees. Severus just stood there staring at her. As she started to put up her hair he said,
"No please. Don't put it up, it's beautiful."
She looked at him with terror on her face and started to run from the room, as she passed Severus he reached out to her and she wrenched her hand away from him and ran to her room slamming the door and locking it.
Severus just stood there not knowing what to do. Finally he knocked.
"Katarina? Are you alright?" but there was no answer.
"Katarina? Please, I didn't mean to upset you," still no answer. He respected her space and he went to bed.
A few hours later Severus woke up in a cold sweat. He'd had another nightmare. When are they going to stop? He wouldn't be able to sleep the rest of the night. He got out of bed and quietly made his way to the library to find a book to read. He had no intention of getting Katarina's diary but soon found it back in his hands as he sat to read.
16 August, 1980
Well I have managed to upset Lucius once again. I tried not to act so repulsed this time but I was unsuccessful. As I tried to get away from him my hair came out of its bun and covered my face. This infuriated Lucius and he told me that I was to never cover my face because he wanted to see the fear in my eyes as he took me. By the time he was finished he had shorn my hair practically to the scalp. I HATE him even more if that is at all possible.
As Severus was reading he became even angrier. "That BASTARD," he said through gritted teeth unaware that Katarina had heard him get up and had come to apologize for what had happened earlier. When she came into the room she saw him with the diary. He looked up when he heard her and immediately wanted to die. She stood there with fresh tears flowing down her face mouthing at him the word "NO," and she turned to leave.
Severus was by her side before she could get out the door. She turned to him and mouthed "WHY?"
He gently took her hand (she didn't pull away) and walked her over to the small couch and sat down next to her.
"Katarina, I am so sorry that I read some of your diary. I found it by accident a few weeks ago. I haven't read any since that day until tonight. I only read it to try and understand why you pull away from me and why certain things set you off. After the thing tonight with the hair I went to bed and had a terrible nightmare. I found myself back in here with the book. I hate Lucius even more now after reading of some of the things that he has done to you. I am not even sure that I could have endured what you have without taking my life," he tried to explain.
Katarina got up from the couch and made for the desk. Pulling out a piece of parchment and quill she wrote…
I am sorry that I got upset, I am trying to separate you from Lucius but I am finding it difficult. Not that you remind me of him in any way it's just that I don't know what to do. All of these things that I have been forced to do all these years just to survive. I find it hard to distinguish which discussion is correct. I am still trying to understand my feelings for you. I honestly do not feel that you would ever hurt me in any way but I just can't change over night. I hope that you will except my apology and that we can get back to being friends.
After he read the note, Severus said,
"I will help you in any way I can to get you through all of this. You can ask anything of me. Anything."
Katarina smiled at him and rushed into his arms. As he held her he felt like he was going to burst with love. Katarina picked up the quill once again and wrote.
Severus, will you please read to me?
He was touched and said, "Pick a book, I would love to."
Katarina went to the shelf and picked out the book The Hobbit.
As Severus started to read Katarina snuggled up to him and was at peace. Before too long she was fast asleep on the couch next to him. He wanted to pick her up and carry her to her room, but was afraid that if he did that and she was to wake up while he was carrying her, she would freak out. So he got up from the couch and covered her gently with a blanket. He kissed her tenderly on the forehead then made his way back to his room.