Alterations Part 2
By Meridian
Italics=Thoughts and/or memories
Early morning had never been anyone's time to shine in any lifetime, but here in the real world, day was not so easily separated from night. Only the specialized clocks told time. No one slept for long periods anyway; so early morning sessions, missions, and monitor duties were never much of a problem.
But this morning was different for Tank. He felt old, worn out, and exhausted. Trinity's arrival had really catalyzed his sense of aging. It had been eleven years since they had last seen her, alive, dead, or otherwise. Seeing her as they remembered, just as young, not one day older, and very much alive was testament to the years that had gone by in the cold world.
And where did she come from? Tank couldn't say, nor could anyone else. As he headed to Trinity's new room, this morning's meeting played over in his head.
"Where the hell did she come from?" Tank looked to Morpheus then Neo for that answer. Neither spoke, though Morpheus did appear to be puzzled. Neo sat rigidly in his seat, Aeon's arm around his in support, oblivious to the question being asked and yet intensely focused on it. Tank frowned at his sudden retreat into his own thoughts. On a day-to-day basis, Neo was usually something of a blank face, showing little but the extreme emotions, which, fortunately for the rest of the crew, were in abundance. Otherwise, they might never know what was going on in his head.
Now he was a complete enigma. Tank felt the bile in his abdomen churn with uneasy anxiety. He could still see the day Neo had died and come back, still see Trinity and Neo kissing one another after weeks of subtle flirting. All throughout Neo's short time on board the Nebuchadnezzar up to that point, Tank had noticed that undercurrent, starting with Trinity's unusual interest in Neo from the outset of their investigation. Others had noticed, but none had taken any serious interest in her behavior...well, except for one certain member.
Neo looked like he was remembering old times too and Aeon like she wished she had been the woman in the memories that the two men were recalling. This was not a change that would be for the better, Tank could tell that much. They all loved Trinity, all cared for her, respected her. But they had all moved on, and her sudden resurrection was troubling in the extreme. It challenged all of them, accusingly demanding to have proof that they had not forgotten her.
"Does it matter?" Neo's words seemed out of context. Tank realized after a short while that he was answering the question Tank had posed earlier. No, he supposed it didn't. Whether they were ready or not, this change was here now, and they had no choice but to make the best of it.
But how would Trinity ever understand if they couldn't?
Great question, Tank mused as he opened Trinity's door. Inside, Trinity was still asleep, the covers pulled over her to insulate against the chilly air. Tank closed her door quickly and trotted over to the side of the bed, taking the stool next to her head. He stretched out his hand with a cup, full of his own pitiful imitation of his brother's blend, and placed the aromatic liquid under her nose. She stirred, stretching slightly.
"Mmm, I'll be up in a second, Neo." Tank stared at her in surprise as she turned away, facing the wall, still stretching. In this short time, Tank understood something fundamental that his more logical nature would have dismissed right away if the premise didn't feel so right to him.
This wasn't some miracle Trinity had found; she didn't look like the Trinity they had known, she was that Trinity. The basic facts confounded logic, so he didn't feel out of place following through with his theory that likewise defied logic. Trinity had multiple bruises that suggested the body's response to an injury its RSI had suffered within the Matrix. Trinity had been killed in the Matrix, or so they had thought.
So, if not dead than what?
"Excellent question...morning, Tank." Trinity stretched once more and sat up, taking the proffered drink and sipping at it.
"So, you're a mind reader too, then?"
"I wish. It would maybe make this that much more understandable." Trinity sighed between sips of her drink. Shortly after calling him Neo, Trinity realized who it was. She had awoken from her nightmare to find herself still inside it. The horrid future in which she was dead and the crew had abandoned her was still her present reality.
Then I will adapt.
"Hungry? Brought you some food," Tank pushed the tray toward her. Immediately, nausea assaulted her, and Trinity was obligated to cover her mouth and take deep breaths to keep from gagging. The food was ravenously sought after by her stomach, which also decided, simultaneously, that the mere sight of food was intolerable. Tank watched her reaction, scrutinizing it to pieces behind his façade of anxiety.
"I'm not hungry, thank you anyway. If you'd just leave it, I may attack it later." Trinity gave a mirthless laugh. Alert to Tank sizing her up, Trinity tried to dismiss and cover her obvious revulsion towards the food. "This, at least, is still the same." They laughed with one another, though she was not amused and Tank was only humoring her.
She does want the food, but it appears to be making her sick. Why? He didn't dare ask. He knew better. With one quick confidence-boosting promise to see her when she was ready, Tank stood and left. At the door, he considered stopping, telling her that they had indeed missed her, no matter the current circumstances. That friendly attempt stuck him as a barb that would only further her confusion and hurt. He remained silent, leaving Trinity on her own.
She followed his exit with anxious eyes and only stopped holding her breath once Tank was out of the room and the door was closed. With all due celerity, Trinity rushed to the pail in the far corner that served as garbage can, for the non-existent garbage, and proceeded to dry heave over it. No food had been her stomach for a while, but the great revolt of that particular organ continued. When the forced convulsions stopped, Trinity sat up and gingerly sniffed at the bowl on the stool. No queasiness returned, only a voracious appetite.
As she finished the meal, Trinity felt overwhelmed once more as she returned to thinking about her current situation. Her thoughts dwelled on Neo while her hand drifted to her abdomen. Was she still pregnant in this world? The nausea that had greeted her along with the food suggested yes, but was that real queasiness, or just stress-induced? Somehow, she had to know, and she couldn't just ask to have it checked out, not yet anyway. If the answer was yes, it would screw up her friends' lives even more than her appearance had.
So we do some research first. Trinity nodded in consensus with her left-brain's processing of information. First, see what they know and don't know about me, my death, and everything else, and find out what else has happened between then and now. Look for discrepancies...for real world déjà vu.
***********************
"Good morning," Morpheus greeted her with a genuinely pleased smile. He, no matter what the change to his physical appearance, was still the same. In the week so far, Trinity had learned that her mentor had taken no more great leaps of faith or terrible risks or even risky relationships. Morpheus was as he had ever been: the austere leader whose feats were as legendary as the tale of the One.
Does everything I think of have to lead back to Neo? Trinity smiled, shaking her head, an action that disguised her thoughts while appearing as no more than a normal reaction to Morpheus, who further invited her to have a seat next to him as he watched the monitors.
"I didn't think I'd ever see you do this in my lifetime." Before the words had been formed on her tongue, Trinity knew she had picked tactic. Morpheus didn't respond but only because he had no suitable comeback for her accusatory statement. It was true. Most of his years on the outside had been spent such that he had to be watched, not so that he was watching.
"I find that my leisure allows me to do a great many things now." Morpheus chuckled, and Trinity was only too ready to join in. It was a nice change to laugh and not to be worried or confused. Morpheus was not only very much the same, but he was the only one not perturbed by her sudden reappearance. His words on the subject suggested that the numerous amazing feats he had witnessed were enough to aid him in accepting her presence with little difficulty.
"Leisure? Indeed? Is the war over? Don't tell me I slept through it." Morpheus laughed heartily at that.
"Trinity, you are far from being Rip Van Winkle in all respects, trust me. No, no, the war is not over, but," he stopped, searching for the exact words to describe the new world around them. Though he accepted her presence, Morpheus was always aware of what she had missed. He thought of it as an absence, nothing more.
"But?"
"But we are definitely winning, and as such, I and many others have been afforded a little more comfort of late." Trinity nodded. So Neo had made the difference the Oracle had promised…or not quite. The Matrix still existed, as the green code on the monitors proved. She wanted desperately to ask all about the battles, the changes that to which Morpheus had alluded, but she could not come right out and ask about Neo.
"I imagine you've discovered a few new tricks to beat the AIs at their own game, hmm?" Morpheus nodded to the affirmative.
"About five, no, must be six years now," Morpheus scratched at his chin thoughtfully. Trinity actually enjoyed the odd gesture. Her mentor had used his time to grow a beard, not to mention pick up a few strange ticks. Instead of detracting from his aura of supreme authority, these amendments of character added to it.
"Yes, six years ago, that's it. Six years ago, we had a record year of freed minds. One of our associates on another ship, a woman by the name of Scythe, rigged a loop program that would simultaneously ring several million phones within the Matrix. It set off quite a panic, as you well can imagine." Trinity could imagine. Millions of phones ringing at once…must have been quite a sight. "The Agents couldn't positively identify which were being used by us and which were just ringing. Scythe worked the loop into the code for about a week, and random phones were set off all throughout that time. Everyone on any ship's list of possible candidates that was willing was freed. In one week, three hundred people were brought to the outside."
Trinity stared at him. It was literally unfeasible. Three hundred people? How could they handle so many at once? Even if a hundred ships were patrolling, that would make it three per ship and still too many to successfully manage. Morpheus glanced at Trinity and discerned the meaning to her sudden silence.
"That's the other improvement. Special medical freighters are responsible for the pick up and retrieval of new recruits. They are cared for on board then deposited to the ships that freed them. Amazing, we never thought of it before." Trinity nodded, piecing together this new information with her understanding of the Resistance pattern. Such organization was necessary, but nevertheless, it was rare, not to mention difficult and dangerous.
"Who came up with that idea?" Morpheus shrugged and shook his head. "Group effort then. Why didn't you keep using that program that, is it Scythe? That she invented?" Morpheus frowned and then pursed his lips.
"The Agents removed the program by the end of that week. Scythe was put at the top of their kill-on-sight list. Over Neo, even. She never made it past the next week after that. It was decided that such individual actions were too risky."
"How'd they know it was her?" Morpheus frowned, an ugly gesture to communicate the serious setback he was about to name.
"The Matrix adapted to be able to recognize the signatures we leave in our work. They can tell the difference between authors of programs. Scythe initiated the program within the Matrix because it wouldn't take from the outside. If a group took over, it would only have meant more people dead. The whole solution was not worth the loss of lives." Trinity nodded, searching back in her memory for any such past occurrences. The war had always stressed the importance of doing the job well, but also so that there was minimal loss of life. The Resistance had never made such a grand attempt, so the situation he had recounted was a little beyond her understanding of their policies.
"That's it? One boom a few years ago? What about in the Matrix? There is no way the police, the FBI, what have you wouldn't notice three hundred people disappearing in a week." Morpheus' smile returned. This would be a story of pride then.
"Scythe called that the human element of Phase 2 in her plan. There were a record number of investigators looking for those we had freed. We even added to that number by accepting friends, relatives, and even the investigators. It was a grand coup." At this point, Trinity could hold back no longer. She wanted desperately to ask about Neo, about how he had helped…if he had contributed. Morpheus didn't pick up on her conversation-directing comments, so she asked after all her internal protest.
"What about Neo? Hasn't he helped at all?" Morpheus chuckled, but there wasn't nearly as much mirth in the gesture as she had hoped. Morpheus was only too aware of the awkward situation between his crewmembers with Trinity's reappearance.
"You're kidding, right? Neo has been on tap to help whoever wants it. Mostly, he runs interference and occasionally, protection for superior members and special targets. The Agents have curiously avoided him for quite some time now." Trinity smiled at his tacit suggestion. I bet that's the understatement of the year. They probably avoid him like the plague. She didn't voice the comment, but the understanding was there.
"Speak of the devil," Morpheus smiled over Trinity's shoulder. She stiffened but turned to face Neo with a pleased smiled, covering her own embarrassment and insecurity. Here, she was the third wheel, and regardless of her past associations, she could have no claim on the man she loved, even though, to her, she had been able to only days ago. It was not her intention to let him have any idea, and she disguised her own turmoil to the best of her abilities.
"Morning, Neo." She nodded at him then turned back to Morpheus. "I guess this means your turn is up?" He answered to the affirmative, gave Trinity's shoulder a squeeze and headed for the mess hall to grab a snack. Trinity remained seated when Neo slid into the seat Morpheus had so recently vacated.
"Morning yourself. How're you feeling?" Trinity shrugged.
"Not bad, getting better at any rate." Trinity yawned and stretched, giving him an impression of false exhaustion so as to provide for an easy escape should the conversation grow…uncomfortable. "You know, I think you're the only one I haven't caught up with yet. Tank stopped by my first day, and I've been talking to Morpheus non-stop since, although I haven't really seen Aeon much, and by the way, where is Azkyn?" Trinity didn't stop speaking until she had exhausted her list of safe sentences. It would make his reply longer and therefore give her more time to plan her response.
"Azkyn? God, have you missed out. He left a long time ago." Trinity found that that information did not surprise her. It should have been more surprising should he still have been here.
"Where'd he go?"
"His own ship actually. Morpheus didn't hold him back, and it was clear he wanted to have his own command. He hasn't done too bad for himself, considering, you know, life." Trinity nodded, smiling. She felt genuinely pleased that any friend and crewmember should be so happy, which explained much of her problem with Neo and Aeon's union.
"He didn't take anyone with him, huh?" Neo shook his head as a smirk crept onto his lips. "What?"
"Azkyn, well, he was always a little odd, right?" Trinity nodded, waiting for him to continue. Neo chuckled, keeping the laughter behind tight lips as he tried to recall the story without laughter interfering. "Well, he not only refused to take anyone with him when he received his own commission, he specifically asked for the most computer-illiterate people they had milling around Zion. You know, so he could train them his way." The look of amused disbelief on Trinity's face made it harder for Neo to keep his mirth locked away. "They crashed his ship in the first month." First the eyes went wide, and then Trinity's mouth opened as laughter pealed out.
"Oh God, how typical! What happened to him afterwards?" Neo shrugged and thought about it.
"Last I heard, he was playing doctor in Zion, teaching people to teleport and some other nonsense on the inside." Trinity and Neo caught one another's eye and both laughed at the expense of their missing compatriot. Neo recovered less quickly than Trinity and his laughter was still ebbing as hers had run out. But, as there usually is, there was a reason for Trinity's sobering.
Aeon was standing in the doorway between the monitoring station and the adjacent hall. A look of uncertainty and anger flashed through her features. Trinity could well guess the reason.
"Morning, Aeon." Neo's laughter caught the cancer that had killed Trinity's own giggles, and he turned, a contrived smile ready for the new member of the party. With her chin held high, Aeon walked forward and accepted Neo's outstretched hand, taking a seat in his lap. A definite smile of triumph decorated Aeon's lips, though Trinity only smiled in return, trying her best to be happy and not jealous of that action.
"Morning, Trinity. Slept well I hope? I know I didn't," Aeon cast an accusatory glare at Neo, who returned her look with one of false surprise, his look said what he did not, "what?" and just as sarcastically as if he had spoken. Trinity had a wicked smile for the pair, which, she could tell, was not the reaction Aeon had hoped to see. Underneath her cool reaction, Trinity's heart seemed to be punctured against some new blade that had worked its way between her ribs. Whether Aeon was conscious of it or not, she was doing her best to remind Trinity where things stood now.
"What, you mean he snores? How awful!" Trinity kept her smile, which stretched tighter across her face with each sarcastic repartee. Aeon laughed weakly, and Neo blushed out of personal embarrassment. That humiliation was shared with Trinity, who knew very well that Neo did not snore, or at least never had when she had had the opportunity to know for sure.
"Well, I'm positively exhausted, hope you two won't mind me taking my leave?" Neither Neo nor Aeon spoke up against that idea. Neo seemed to be muted by Aeon's presence, whereas Aeon was only too happy to have Trinity go. "Later then." She stood, nodded to both of them, and walked towards the mess to pick up a drink before she went to have a nap.
From behind, Trinity picked up the low whispered conversation, whose undertones were that of anger and accusation. Though it was clear the pair thought her out of range, Trinity heard rather well the discussion's beginning.
"What do you mean what was I doing? I was just talking to her. What is the matter with you?"
"I think you have a pretty good idea what's wrong, Neo. Is this it then? Am I supposed to step away now?"
Trinity said one prayer of thanks for not having to hear the rest as the door closed behind her. It had only been a week, and already she was unraveling things. If this were a permanent effect, she would leave, find another ship, stay there and do her part, no problem.
Well, maybe one problem. Trinity's thoughts returned to her memories before the strange venture that had brought her here. The baby. Was it still there? And more importantly, did she still want it, especially given the circumstances? The answer to the second was an emphatic yes, but she could not be so determined to have the child if it no longer was there.
Then it's time you told Tank. You know all you can possibly know now; it's time to make the best of it. Wherever you were, you can't go back. That was true, but there was still one question to be answered, and she doubted any of her sources would be entirely truthful. She would question Tank first, trust him with her secret, if it still existed, and then maybe he would let her know what relationship she was spoiling by her very existence.
End of Part 2