Jessie turned around and closed the door to the bar, locking it tightly. She sighed and put the keys back in her pocket. What's wrong with me? She asked herself. Hearing voices? Voices that sounded like his… Jessie's thoughts trailed off. She had chose to ignore them. Ignore the voices that is; or I should say voice…
Walking down the street to her apartement, Jessie change her thoughts to her encounter with Brock. Living with the twerps…that was something she'd never thought would happen. Of course, James dead was something she'd never thought was possible. Living without her James, never seemed possible before. That was part of the whole reason for changing her identity in the first place. She could live without him, if she wasn't the person who was so in love with him.
Rita, how she came up with the person-character, she didn't know. But that was all Rita was a character. A character who sang at bars late at night for the same dull crowd, who fought with the same stinking bar-keeper, and who was pained by memories of a past that wasn't her own. How deep is that? The answer is too deep.
Jessie sighed quietly as she reached the apartment complex. She'd never found out the whole truth about James' death. A car accident that was all she knew about it. Something told her that there was more to it then that; something more. The way Ash had told her that terrible night, he looked guilty, the way Brock had looked upon her with such pity…so long ago. But if it was, why was the pain still so deep? Why did it still hurt to think of him?
Jessie opened up her apartment door and closed it quickly behind her. Tired, she flopped on her couch and closed her eyes. She grinned sadly at a happy memory. Oh, for the first time a happy memory, the time when James had appeared in their balloon. When she thought for sure he would stay with his parents; stay in a richer life, he appeared and raised her hopes. When she had stood up there with him, at that exact moment, she knew she truly loved him, she knew that she could no longer deny it. Now it was too late, she'd lost him, and would never get the chance to tell him how she really felt.
Jessie felt suddenly cold and rubbed her hands against her shoulders. Looking over at the clock, she was surprised to see how late it was. Walking to her bedroom, the sudden coldness ended more suddenly then it was brought on.
" Strange…" She muttered before she walked into the bedroom.
James sat on the floor, that seemed like all he could do. Every thing else, people, furniture, walls, doors, he went right through. It had come to him only a half an hour ago. Why he was still here, on earth. He knew from the beginning that it had to do with correcting something, finishing something and he was almost positive it had to do with Jessie and it did.
Jessie was torn and hurt, so much that she changed her entire identity, her whole nature. That had surprised James, he didn't know that she loved him so much that she couldn't think to go on as the same person any more. No telling what she'd do next…kill herself even. James shuddered at the thought. The only way to be sure of her safety, the only way to be sure she wouldn't hurt herself more, is by giving her someone she thinks she needs to protect, someone she thinks that needs her and obviuosly that person would have to need her too…
He knew that Jessie would never love anyone else as much as he loved him, just as he would never love anyone as much as her, his red angel. James smiled at the name he used to use to describe her, to himself. But he knew Jessie needed someone on earth, to be there for her and he couldn't be there. He was dead, only a ghost and soon he would have to leave. He thought there had to be a time limit for a ghost to be on the earth or there'd be hundreds more wandering souls. It'd get crowded quickly.
The biggest question was who? Who to set up Jessie, who might Jessie think needed her protection, and most of all who was the most honest, trustworthy, loyal, good hearted, good natured, calm, smart…okay, he'd have to find the most perfect man on earth to make him fully happy. But since there was no such thing, as someone being perfect and since his time was limited, he'd have to find the second best…
Brock worked the night before over and over in his mind. What had happened with Jessie the night before, he just couldn't get out of his head. But why? A former enemy shouldn't be so caught up with her, but he was. She was someone that had a certain air about her, something that attracted him. She was different then other women, she was unique and beautiful.
Brock shook his head, please, it would be rude and wrong to try and start a relationship with her. He was doing this because he knew it Misty would want him to and because so would James and he had to honor the dead.
Misty's flight arrived at six that night, from there, they'd drop her luggage off at the hotel and then they'd head off to Mac's Bar. Hopefully, Jessie would be working there again and then the convincing would start, which would be hard and tireless. Brock wrote down carefully in his notebook, he was writing a book on the feelings and natures of pokemon. Nothing else like it had ever been tried before, and he knew he was going out on a limb, but it was a risk he wanted to take.
He supposed he had matured since the accident, he wasn't falling head over heels, puppy-dog love, with every female under the age of twenty-nine anymore. Nope, he hadn't even thought of dating for such a long time, that it surprised even himself.
He checked the clock and decided it was almost time to pick up Misty. I'd better get ready…
Jessie was yet again singing on stage and smiled happily as the song ended and her shift ended and she wouldn't have to sing in front of the group of losers until tomorrow. She moved down the stairs of the stage and pulled back her black hair into a ponytail. She walked slowly to the back of the bar, nodding sarcasticly to a slobbering Mac and sitting in a chair towards the back.
Suddenly, she saw two figures move over to her and she straightened when she realized it was Brock. Brock with someone…hmm, has he finally gotten himself a girlfriend? She asked herself. The girl had shoulder lengthed orange hair, that seemed to be in layers. Jessie suddenly realized who it was…
" Misty?" Jessie asked standing out of her chair.
" Jessie." She replied and for some unknown and strange reason they embraced each other as if they were old friends.
" What are you doing here?" Jessie inquired surprised.
" I think I can ask the same thing to you." Misty said.
" What do you mean? I'm here living my life. Persuing a new career, stuff like that." Jessie replied shifting her weight uncomfortably.
" Under a different name?"
Jessie looked at Brock who just shrugged, Jessie sighed before replying. " Team Rocket aren't very keen on people quitting the team."
" Maybe we should take this outside…" Brock said suddenly looking at all the men who were watching them, expecting for a cat fight to ensue at any given moment.
" Fine." Jessie said irritated and walked quickly, angirly outside; soon followed be Brock and Misty.
When they were all outside, silence fell upon them. James who had been watching the whole thing walked closer to them all and stood in the middle of the little circle that they had unawaridly created.
" Jess, go with them please! This is not the kind of life you dreamed of, and this is not what I want you to go through, just because of me…" James had tried again to speak to her in hopes that it would change her mind.
" Urgh..not the voices again.." Jessie muttered.
" You heard it too?" A very surprised looking Misty asked.
" Y'mean it's not just me, not just my mind making up..things?"
" I don't know what you two ladies are talking about, but uh I'm assuming that by the looks on you're face it's not good.." Brock stated looking between the two.
The two ignored Brock as they looked at each other, searching for some sign of the truth. Had the voice been James' and if so where was he, how could he speak to them.
They waited for a half an hour at least, waited for him to come back, Brock getting more worried every second that passed by, but no luck.
Jessie sniffled a little before speaking, " I..I think I will go with you. If that's what James wants, for now, I will come."
" Really? That's great Jessie." Brock stated.
" Yeah…" Misty looked at Jessie. " Great." She agreed.
So, Brock bought three train tickets back to Pallet town, Jessie spent two days quitting her job, packing her stuff, calling a moving van, and Misty spent the two days sight seeing and helping Jessie out. Then the day finally arrived and as the three borded the train, James was right behind them.
All of the seats were confined in small rooms and the three would be sharing one with each other. Jessie and Misty sat next to each other right across from Brock who spent most of the time writing in his note book. After a half hour of riding, Jessie decided to start up a conversation.
" So, Misty you and Ash finally hook up?"
Misty looked surprised by the question, but soon smiled with a blush and nodded.
" How'd it happen?" Jessie asked leaning her head against the back of the seat.
" Well, I realized that it was best not to wait any longer. I always knew, from the moment I met him," She shugged suddenly and rolled her eyes. " well, maybe not from the very first moment, but soon after. It's just his confidence in himself, his determination, his love for a pokemon that shocked him more then possibly known amount of times; but still he considered pikachu his best friend." Misty smiled fondly. "And soon I relized that I wanted to know that love, that great love that's deep in the chore of his heart. I wanted it, I desired it, but I was too afraid of rejection and humiliation. Then I met James" Misty's spoke slightly pained," well that is I actually met him and got to know him. We shared our stories and realized how similar they were and made a pack that as soon as we got back, we'd tell our best friends that…we loved them. And so I did, I told Ash."
" Wow," Jessie muttered wiping a solitary tear from her eyes.
" So tell me of James."
" What? You already know just as much as I."
" No, tell me about when you relized you loved him, when you found that the true love you've been searching for was right in front of you." Misty said dreamily.
" When James and I first met, I didn't think of him in a love way. I thought that I was tough and tough girls had guy friends. Besides I wasn't really into hair and clothing and which pokemon were the cutest back then. Then I was only interested in, being tough. Tough enough to never be hurt again, never be hurt like my mom hurt me when she died." Jessie sighed. " Then as our friendship progressed, I came to relize that James was more then just a friend to make me tougher. He was so, so strong, emotionally, strong, he was funny, caring, and most of all he made me happy. When I was with him, those were the happiest times of my life. He was and still is part of me, a part that I can never shake. I…I thought that that part died when he did, but…now I realized that I can never lose him. He'll always be there…and I'll always love him. Even if another man comes along…which I doubt…they could never replace or be anything like the love I share with him. We were connected in heart and soul."
Misty and Jessie broke down crying at that moment, " I miss him." " I miss him too." They held each other and when Brock returned from the kitchen, there wasn't even a sign of the conversation that had been held between the two girls. However, they were still talking continuously, this time about there memories of James.
Brock sat down and started to write in his note book as James sat next to him, thinking deeply. James thought he knew who it would be, to hook Jessie up with and James turned sideways to look at him.
When they had pulled into Pallet town and everything had been explained to Ash who was quite mad, but mostly had been worried about Misty. They spent some time catching up with each other, because it seemed Brock hadn't been to see Ash in a while. Every night the four would sit by the fireplace; Ash and Misty curled together on the couch, Brock sitting in a recliner and Jessie sprawled out on the floor in front of the fireplace.
The first night they had all done this, Jessie had learned a lot. She had learned that Ash was now the gym leader of the new pallet gym, that Misty and Ash both lived above the gym, and Misty was sort of the secretary for the gym. She also learned of Brock's plan to write a book about pokemon and she congragulated him fullily. Jessie had also been quite nervous that first night, at first, she was afraid she wouldn't fit in so well.
Jessie also learned, that below the gym they were trying to make a sort of restraunt with entertainment, and Brock and Misty jumped right in by asking if she'd like to be the entertainment. Jessie had nodded excitedly and speechless. All of that had happened in one day, it was almost too much for her to take in.
Now, as she sit on her bed in her room, she practiced the song she was going to sing. After much deciding she chose a sad, but beautiful song, that she loved and had always wanted to sing. It was called Memory. She got off her bed and moved closer to the window and looked out at the night sky before beginning to sing.
" Midnight, not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her memory? She is smiling alone. In the lamp light the withered leaves collect at my feet and the wind begins to blow…." She trailed off sleepily.
" Beautiful." She heard a voice from behind her say. She turned around to see Brock standing in her door way.
" Thank you." Jessie blushed slightly embaressed. " I was planning on singining it on opening night."
" It's a good, strong song to sing. Though it is kind of sad." Brock stated walking over to her.
" Yes, it is kinda sad.." Jessie trailed off turning back to the window.
Brock looked at Jessie, her hair was now red again and it lay softly on her shoulders. He began to feel embaressed. " Jessie, I was wondering if you'd like to go out to lunch some time."
Jessie was surprised and suddenly felt very nervous again, " Um..I…I don't think that would be good…just..yet."
" Oh..uh..I'm sorry." Brock appoligized suddenly turning back to the door.
Before he could leave, Jessie feeling guilty spoke up again. " Perhaps I could take a raincheck on that."
" Oh..yeah." Brock nodded sadly.
Jessie sighed and layed her head on her hands. She watched as the wind rustled the leaves on the trees and she thought of how she'd never imagined having this kind of life. Staying in one place, it almost had a comfortable feeling to it. Jessie then thought of Meowth, she'd talked about him with her new friends, but they said they didn't know where he was. They said there was no sign of him and they'd just assumed he'd gone with her when she had left.
Jessie had left him at the apartement with most of the money and a note explaining why she had to leave. Jessie thought that Meowth might of gone back to the boss, but then Giovanni would have all of Team Rocket out looking for her and if Giovanni wanted to find her, he would. So, where was Meowth? She didn't know and might never know. Please, come back Meowth, she thought feeling guilty again.
" Jess.." The voice again, Jessie thought scared. She was afraid to turn around, would he be there? No he wouldn't; couldn't.
Jessie turned around and stifled a scream as she fell out of her chair. James was there standing in front of her, transparently yes, but still it was him. A ghost? No, everyone knew ghost, they…they weren't real.
" Jessie, it's me James…yes I'm still dead, but I'm not here for revenge or anything. Jess, I'm here to tell you to get on with you're life." James spoke quietly, almost at a whisper.
" What?" Jessie asked her voice cracking as tears filled her eyes.
" Oh, that sounded more harsh then I wanted it too." James walked closer to Jessie. " Look, there's someone who needs someone else to love and care, who needs someone else to stay by his side, who needs someone else to protect him from the horrors of being him. That someone is Brock and the someone else he needs could be you."
" But..but…James, I…I love you." The tears began to stream down her face.
" I, I know Jessica."
" I can't love anyone else like I love you, no one can replace you, what we have is unique, we're part of each other, you make up who I am."
" I know. But Brock needs someone for right now on earth. He needs someone now, y'see, his own soul mate was killed before she ever got a chance to meet Brock. They can only be together after death and Brock needs someone to protect him until then.." and you Jessie need someone to protect you till then too, James thought.
" I…I don't know if I can…it would be too hard." Jessie cried putting her hands to her face.
" I know you can. You're brave, strong, and fearless. You're my hero and I believe in you. Jess you can do anything and help anyone as long as you try." James replied.
" James will you always be on earth with me?"
" Yes, I'm part of you remember? Just as you will be with me always." James answered.
" I mean here…"
" No, time is very limited. In fact I've got to go now…" James trailed off.
" Now?!?" Jessie exclaimed.
" Yes now. Jessica I love you, I love you more then anyone's ever loved anyone before. I love you so much that a great powerful feeling overwhelms my body, mind, and soul every time that I think of you and every time that I'm near you I can barely contain myself from shouting out with joy. Jessie, be strong, I'll always be with you." James said and with that he was gone.
Just gone, Jessie sat on her bed for the longest time and cried. The memories filling her mind, happy and sad. She let all her feelings out in one swift motion.
Misty sat with Ash as they watched the end of the movie my Best Friend's Wedding. Misty had cried at some parts and Ash and her had kissed at others.
" What a beautiful movie." Misty announced at the end.
" Yeah, I thought it was kinda funny." Ash said smiling and kissing Misty on the cheek.
" Oh you." Misty exclaimed teasingly. " You always say something you know will get me mad, then you go and kiss me so I can't stay mad at you!"
" Just call me mr.sly." Ash replied putting his arm around Misty.
"Oooh!" Misty said angrily. " I'll just call you Mr.In-trouble-big-Time.
Ash leaned over and kissed her again before hopping over the couch and making a run for it barely dodging a pillow thrown by Misty. Misty shook her head and smiled happily.
Feeling like stargazing as she used to do with James, she walked outside and laid on the grass. She looked at all the different constelations, some she knew others she didn't. She looked on silently until she reached a certain familiar blue star.
" Oh, James I do miss you." Misty muttered looking at it sparkle and twinkle in response.
" Hey Blue." Came a voice from behind her, James' voice.
" James?" Misty asked sitting up and turning around there he was silouheted in moonlight.
" You came back didn't you? After all this time, you came back." Misty stated tears lined her eyes.
" Why does everyone seem to cry when they see me." James asked playfully. Misty smiled sadly and wiped her tears from her eyes.
" I wish I could hug you, but I'm afraid it wouldn't work to well." Misty muttered.
" No, it wouldn't, there's the whole thing about being a ghost, it comes with limited toughing abilities." James replied sitting next to Misty.
" Look, Misty, I told Jessie to get another man…not that I don't love her anymore." James added quickly.
" I know, I think I can understand why." Misty replied.
" Oh good. You were always good at understanding me." James said.
" And you were always a really great friend. Sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you that before."
" It's okay." James looked up at the sky. " So, where's you're star tonight."
" Over there." She pointed to a small silver star a few stars away from the blue one. " Still shining just as brightly as when we first saw it." Misty remarked.
" You keep shining too." James replied. " I'm proud of you, for telling Ash how you feel."
" Oh..well.." Misty said blushing.
" I've got to go, now. Ghost time is also kinda limited." James said.
" You do? I've missed you, it was good seeing you again." Misty answered feeling tears of sadness again.
" You too."
" Are you coming to opening night tomorrow?" Misty asked.
" I'll try." Was the reply before James went gone into the night.
Opening night, was crowded with people. Many of whom were strangers. Ash, Brock, Misty, Prof. Oak, and Ash's mom had gotten the front row table. That is when Jessie performed they'd be there, but for now, Misty helped cook and Ash and Brock took people's orders.
Jessie looked nervously out from the curtains among the crowded and noticed someone she didn't expect to be there at all.
" James." She muttered.
Quickly thinking of the song she was going to sing she ran over to the piano player and talked to him for a few minutes. A minute or so was left before performance time. Jessie ran the words of the song over and over in her head. Misty, Ash, and Brock, all moved to the front table the curtains rised and a spot light landed on Jessie.
Jessie looked at her friends and smiled, then turned her view back to where James was standing.
She spoke to introduce herself and her song before she would sing. " Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you're all enjoying you're time here at the restraunt." People clapped in response. " My name is Jessie and I'm going to be singing for you tonight." Jessie knew what she was saying sounded awkward, but it had to be said. " At first I was going to sing a really beautiful, sad song that I really love, but at the last second I changed it. This represents the love I have for someone I lost a few years ago."
The audience applauded and Misty, Brock, and Ash exchanged questioning looks. What song could she be singing? James who stood in the very back felt tears in his eyes, he knew he would have to leave after this. Oh, Jessie, I'll miss you so much…
Jessie finally opened her mouth, and began to sing.
" There you are,
in the early light of day.
There you are,
In the quite words I pray.
I've been blessed,
By the simple happiness
Of the love we've made.
Every time I turn around,
When I'm lost, and when I'm found,
Like an angel standing guard,
There you are.
When I take a breath,
And when I forget to breath,
You're watching over me.
There you are.
When I'm looking for the light,
In the middle of the night,
Searching for that brighter star.
There you are.
There you are,
Standing in a crowded rooom.
There you are,
The earth and not the moon,
My desire is to stand beside the fire,
That burns inside of you."
Jessie had carried off the performance wonderfully and there was thunderous applause when she finished. Tears lined her eyes as the bowed and walked off of the stage to sit with her friends. She grabbed a seat by Brock only to realize the applause was still going on so she stood up and waved everyone down to there seats. Smiles were revelent on most peoples' faces and on others there were tears.
After everything had calmed down and everyone at the table was engaged in conversation, Jessie turned slowly to Brock.
" Well, I think I'm ready for that rain check now." Jessie said.
" Really?"
" Really."
Author's note: So, how'd you like it? I hope it was like you pictured it Vickie211, and I hope you AAM Lovers got enough of their romance. I also hope that you Jessie and James romance overs don't totally hate me for writing this fic. I'm glad that I finally got this out. And I hope that everyone enjoyed it! Well that's all for now, I've got to go work on my other fic. Ch.5 of The Light Within. Which has got both AAML and J&J plus lot's of action and adventure and fantasy stuff.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except for Mac whose only mentioned in part twice if I remember right. I also don't own the song Memory or There You Are, but they are both very good. Memory is the song from the musical cats. And There You Are is the song by Martina McBride you can get it from her cd or by buying the Where The Heart Is soundtrack.
Review Please!