This is the second chapter in my Christmas 'fic. The first one did moderatly well, so I guess
a second one couldn't hurt. Flamers, I will only accept constructive critism.
The usual disclaimers apply...
In the last chapter...
Goku stole the Rockafeller center tree...
Vegeta got kicked in the nuts...
Heero got chewed out and told of part of his toddler years with Shinigami (Duo)...
We found out what accualy happened last Christmas and why Chichi has that Namek-shaped dent
in her frying pan.
(Chibi Trieze: This is going to be fun. Hello viewers!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last chapter left off with Heero telling his wife, Relena, how Duo beat him with a rubber
chicken when they were toddlers.
"So Heero, how did you get even with him?"
"Well, the next day, Duo was at the daycare center. Duo began to advance toward me with that
damned rubber chicken. I had seen this coming. What I did was I covered my body in invisible
rubber (don't ask me how, except that it was extremely painful. I still have rubber burns).
When that baka yaro Duo hit me with that thing, it bounced off me and hit him. While it did
this, I got him in the 'Walls of Jericho' (for those of you not familiar, it's wrestling).
That little pansy was crying for a week."
"Heero, that was a very funny thing to do, but...also very stupid."
"Hey, I was three. And besides that, he deserved it."
"I hope Heero Jr. doesn't learn that kind of behavior from you."
"Don't worry, I've never killed in front of him before."
"Hmmmmm..."
"Hey, were almost at the Wufei's place."
"Yeah, let's make sure we seperate Wufei and Duo. We still haven't gotten the katana out of
the roof of the car."
Heero and Relena pull up to the Chang residence. They see a strangly dressed man walking
toward them. On closer inspection, we see it's Ryoga.
"Excuse me, but do you know the way to Japan?"
"You must be lost. Japan is 1500 kilometers the opposite way."
"GOD DAMN IT! I'M LATE FOR A DATE WITH AKENE!"
"Well, you'd better get going."
We see Ryoga running Project A-ko style toward Japan. He has already destroyed three
buildings.
"What a strange man."
Wufei walks out. "Hello Heero, Relena. I'm ready to go, but the onna is still getting
dressed."
At this point Relena pipes up, saying, "Wufei, you'd better clam up, before Sally hears you.
She still has that mallet, you know."
"Yes, I remember."
At this point, Sally walks out. She is wearing her normal clothes.
"Shall we leave?" asked Heero.
Sally said, "Heero, wait just one second."
She runs into the house, looks around, and then finds what she was looking for: her mallet.
She sticks it in her purse (don't ask me how, I don't know) and hurries out the door. The two
couples leave.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, back at the Son Residence...
"GOKU, THIS IS THE STUPIDEST GET-UP EVER!"
Piccolo was in a santa costume. Goku was dressed up as Kami.
"Aww, c'mon Piccolo! We all drew straws, and this is making Gohan happy."
"Yeah, but Chichi is laughing at me."
"Hey, at least King Kai isn't coming over. Can you imagine his laughter?"
At this Piccolo cracks a smile. He could imagine that blue lard-ball laughing at his being in
a santa costume.
"Well, at least I didn't have to dress up as Kami, that weak-ass."
(The part of Piccolo that IS Kami answered, "Hey Piccolo, you know what? You suck! You suck!")
Goku answers, "Hey man, I spent a long time training with that guy. This is a sign of
respect. At least we didn't have to dress up like Mr. Popo, like Gohan."
Gohan walks out of the bathroom dressed in black paint and a vest, plus the turban.
Piccolo and Goku are barely keeping from laughing.
"Nice costume, Gohan. :snicker:"
"Yeah, nice turban."
At seeing their suppresed snickers, Gohan says, "Yeah, yeah, yuck it up."
Goku and Piccolo finally release their suppresed laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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The next people the carpool visit is the Bartons.
"So, who wants to go get them?"
Both Heero and Wufei, "I will."
"Alright, you both go."
As they are walking toward the house, Wufei asks Heero, "So, you have a baby now, huh?"
"Yup."
In a slightly mocking tone, Wufei asks, "Are you gonna make him the perfect soldier?"
In an uncharacteristic whining tone, Heero replies, "NO! RELENA WON'T LET ME! SHE SAYS THAT
HE WILL GROW UP VIOLENT!"
Wufei slaps Heero. "Snap out of it, onna!"
He returns to his machine-like state. "Thank you, Wufei."
They get to the door and ring the bell. 'Send in the clowns' plays. Trowa comes to the door.
"Oh, hey guys. I'll go get Catherine." he said in his usual, monotone voice. And then, for a
change of pace, he screams out, "CATHERINE, GET OVER HERE! THE CARPOOL HAS ARRIVED!"
Wufei's and Heero's eyes get really wide, really fast.
Two minutes later, Catherine comes out in a sundress with daises on it.
"Let's go."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Chichi, c'mon out of the bathroom so we can see your costume."
"Okay Goku! Tell me how it looks!"
Chichi walks out in her costume. She is dressed up as Sailor Mars. Immediatly Piccolo goes
into a fit of laughter.
"You look nothing like Sailor Mars! You are so retarded! HAHAHA-urk!"
Goku has just hit Piccolo in the head with Chichi's frypan. There is another Namek-shaped dent
in it.
"Nobody calls my woman retarded!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next stop, Quatre's mansion...
"Hey Trowa, you wanna go get Quatre and Dorothy?"
"K."
Trowa walks up to the door and rings the doorbell. 'Eyes on Me' plays. Quatre comes to the
door, dressed in his normal duds. "Oh, hi Trowa! Lemme get Dorothy! She's clipping her
eyebrows (big suprise)."
After ten minutes Dorothy comes out in a black dress, like the one she wore to Relena's
corination, in fact the exact same one.
"Dorothy, are you ready to go?"
"Well, are we going to Chichi's house?"
"Yes."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Piccolo is just now waking up.
"...wha, what happened?"
Gohan, who is standing over Piccolo, is saying, "Well Piccolo, you called my mom retarded, so
my dad bonked you on the head with the frying pan."
"Was it the Namek-shaped fry pan?"
"Yup."
DING-DONG!!!!
Chichi comes flying out of the kitchen, screaming, "SOMEBODY IS HERE!!!! PICCOLO, ANSWER THE
DOOR!!!" Chichi throws Piccolo toward the door.
"...damn PMS-ing onna! Fine, I'll answer it."
Piccolo answers the door, and it's Trunks with Vegeta slumped over his shoulder. Behind them,
Bulma comes in.
"Hello Piccolo! It is so nice to see you again! How are you?"
Piccolo grunts and answers, "Fine."
"Great. Where is Chichi?"
"Kitchen."
Piccolo goes over to Trunks and asks him who knocked Vegeta out.
"It was me, actually. I just kicked him in the nuts."
"Nuts? What do you mean?"
Trunks, remembering Piccolo's, ummm, imperament, says "...nothing."
"SOOOOOOOOOO, should we wake him up?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Piccolo pulls a smelling salt out of his turban and waves it in front of Veggie's nose.
Needless to say, Vegeta gets up.
"GET THAT FOUL SMELLING PIECE OF CRAP AWAY FROM ME!!!!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The last stop of the merry band's was at Duo's home.
Among the men, "Okay, we draw straws to see who gets to pick up Duo." They all draw straws,
and the person is...(okay, you probably guessed it by now) Heero!
Heero walks up the front walk and rings the doorbell, which plays to Duo's theme on CN. Duo
answers.
"Hey Heero, hows it been? How's your kid?"
"He's fine. How are you and Hilde? I noticed that you trimmed your braid."
"...yeah, Hilde said that I would sleep on the couch if it got any longer, so I got it cut."
"Hnn. Get Hilde, let's go."
"K. HILDE, LET'S GO." Hilde walks to the door and goes with them to the car. They start
driving toward the Son's house.
Duo: Hey, I know what we can do! Let's sing '100 bottles of beer on the wall'!
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DINGDONG!
"Hey, someone is here! Piccolo, answer the door!"
"OKAY, WOMAN!!!"
Piccolo opens the door and sees that it is...the ROCK!!! (we all here the rock's theme music
in the background)
"THE ROCK HAS COME HERE TONIGHT TO GET SOME POON-TANG PIE! WHERE IS IT?"
Chichi comes out of the kitchen and sees the Rock. "Oh, hello Dwayne! How are you?"
"The Rock says that he's fine, how about yourself?"
"Oh, I'm okay. Are you here for your Poon-tang pie?"
"YES, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK FOR HIS PIE!"
"Okay, it's in the oven. Do you want to stay hre with us for Christmas?"
"Yes, THE ROCK would."
----------
a second one couldn't hurt. Flamers, I will only accept constructive critism.
The usual disclaimers apply...
In the last chapter...
Goku stole the Rockafeller center tree...
Vegeta got kicked in the nuts...
Heero got chewed out and told of part of his toddler years with Shinigami (Duo)...
We found out what accualy happened last Christmas and why Chichi has that Namek-shaped dent
in her frying pan.
(Chibi Trieze: This is going to be fun. Hello viewers!)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last chapter left off with Heero telling his wife, Relena, how Duo beat him with a rubber
chicken when they were toddlers.
"So Heero, how did you get even with him?"
"Well, the next day, Duo was at the daycare center. Duo began to advance toward me with that
damned rubber chicken. I had seen this coming. What I did was I covered my body in invisible
rubber (don't ask me how, except that it was extremely painful. I still have rubber burns).
When that baka yaro Duo hit me with that thing, it bounced off me and hit him. While it did
this, I got him in the 'Walls of Jericho' (for those of you not familiar, it's wrestling).
That little pansy was crying for a week."
"Heero, that was a very funny thing to do, but...also very stupid."
"Hey, I was three. And besides that, he deserved it."
"I hope Heero Jr. doesn't learn that kind of behavior from you."
"Don't worry, I've never killed in front of him before."
"Hmmmmm..."
"Hey, were almost at the Wufei's place."
"Yeah, let's make sure we seperate Wufei and Duo. We still haven't gotten the katana out of
the roof of the car."
Heero and Relena pull up to the Chang residence. They see a strangly dressed man walking
toward them. On closer inspection, we see it's Ryoga.
"Excuse me, but do you know the way to Japan?"
"You must be lost. Japan is 1500 kilometers the opposite way."
"GOD DAMN IT! I'M LATE FOR A DATE WITH AKENE!"
"Well, you'd better get going."
We see Ryoga running Project A-ko style toward Japan. He has already destroyed three
buildings.
"What a strange man."
Wufei walks out. "Hello Heero, Relena. I'm ready to go, but the onna is still getting
dressed."
At this point Relena pipes up, saying, "Wufei, you'd better clam up, before Sally hears you.
She still has that mallet, you know."
"Yes, I remember."
At this point, Sally walks out. She is wearing her normal clothes.
"Shall we leave?" asked Heero.
Sally said, "Heero, wait just one second."
She runs into the house, looks around, and then finds what she was looking for: her mallet.
She sticks it in her purse (don't ask me how, I don't know) and hurries out the door. The two
couples leave.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, back at the Son Residence...
"GOKU, THIS IS THE STUPIDEST GET-UP EVER!"
Piccolo was in a santa costume. Goku was dressed up as Kami.
"Aww, c'mon Piccolo! We all drew straws, and this is making Gohan happy."
"Yeah, but Chichi is laughing at me."
"Hey, at least King Kai isn't coming over. Can you imagine his laughter?"
At this Piccolo cracks a smile. He could imagine that blue lard-ball laughing at his being in
a santa costume.
"Well, at least I didn't have to dress up as Kami, that weak-ass."
(The part of Piccolo that IS Kami answered, "Hey Piccolo, you know what? You suck! You suck!")
Goku answers, "Hey man, I spent a long time training with that guy. This is a sign of
respect. At least we didn't have to dress up like Mr. Popo, like Gohan."
Gohan walks out of the bathroom dressed in black paint and a vest, plus the turban.
Piccolo and Goku are barely keeping from laughing.
"Nice costume, Gohan. :snicker:"
"Yeah, nice turban."
At seeing their suppresed snickers, Gohan says, "Yeah, yeah, yuck it up."
Goku and Piccolo finally release their suppresed laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The next people the carpool visit is the Bartons.
"So, who wants to go get them?"
Both Heero and Wufei, "I will."
"Alright, you both go."
As they are walking toward the house, Wufei asks Heero, "So, you have a baby now, huh?"
"Yup."
In a slightly mocking tone, Wufei asks, "Are you gonna make him the perfect soldier?"
In an uncharacteristic whining tone, Heero replies, "NO! RELENA WON'T LET ME! SHE SAYS THAT
HE WILL GROW UP VIOLENT!"
Wufei slaps Heero. "Snap out of it, onna!"
He returns to his machine-like state. "Thank you, Wufei."
They get to the door and ring the bell. 'Send in the clowns' plays. Trowa comes to the door.
"Oh, hey guys. I'll go get Catherine." he said in his usual, monotone voice. And then, for a
change of pace, he screams out, "CATHERINE, GET OVER HERE! THE CARPOOL HAS ARRIVED!"
Wufei's and Heero's eyes get really wide, really fast.
Two minutes later, Catherine comes out in a sundress with daises on it.
"Let's go."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Chichi, c'mon out of the bathroom so we can see your costume."
"Okay Goku! Tell me how it looks!"
Chichi walks out in her costume. She is dressed up as Sailor Mars. Immediatly Piccolo goes
into a fit of laughter.
"You look nothing like Sailor Mars! You are so retarded! HAHAHA-urk!"
Goku has just hit Piccolo in the head with Chichi's frypan. There is another Namek-shaped dent
in it.
"Nobody calls my woman retarded!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Next stop, Quatre's mansion...
"Hey Trowa, you wanna go get Quatre and Dorothy?"
"K."
Trowa walks up to the door and rings the doorbell. 'Eyes on Me' plays. Quatre comes to the
door, dressed in his normal duds. "Oh, hi Trowa! Lemme get Dorothy! She's clipping her
eyebrows (big suprise)."
After ten minutes Dorothy comes out in a black dress, like the one she wore to Relena's
corination, in fact the exact same one.
"Dorothy, are you ready to go?"
"Well, are we going to Chichi's house?"
"Yes."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Piccolo is just now waking up.
"...wha, what happened?"
Gohan, who is standing over Piccolo, is saying, "Well Piccolo, you called my mom retarded, so
my dad bonked you on the head with the frying pan."
"Was it the Namek-shaped fry pan?"
"Yup."
DING-DONG!!!!
Chichi comes flying out of the kitchen, screaming, "SOMEBODY IS HERE!!!! PICCOLO, ANSWER THE
DOOR!!!" Chichi throws Piccolo toward the door.
"...damn PMS-ing onna! Fine, I'll answer it."
Piccolo answers the door, and it's Trunks with Vegeta slumped over his shoulder. Behind them,
Bulma comes in.
"Hello Piccolo! It is so nice to see you again! How are you?"
Piccolo grunts and answers, "Fine."
"Great. Where is Chichi?"
"Kitchen."
Piccolo goes over to Trunks and asks him who knocked Vegeta out.
"It was me, actually. I just kicked him in the nuts."
"Nuts? What do you mean?"
Trunks, remembering Piccolo's, ummm, imperament, says "...nothing."
"SOOOOOOOOOO, should we wake him up?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Piccolo pulls a smelling salt out of his turban and waves it in front of Veggie's nose.
Needless to say, Vegeta gets up.
"GET THAT FOUL SMELLING PIECE OF CRAP AWAY FROM ME!!!!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The last stop of the merry band's was at Duo's home.
Among the men, "Okay, we draw straws to see who gets to pick up Duo." They all draw straws,
and the person is...(okay, you probably guessed it by now) Heero!
Heero walks up the front walk and rings the doorbell, which plays to Duo's theme on CN. Duo
answers.
"Hey Heero, hows it been? How's your kid?"
"He's fine. How are you and Hilde? I noticed that you trimmed your braid."
"...yeah, Hilde said that I would sleep on the couch if it got any longer, so I got it cut."
"Hnn. Get Hilde, let's go."
"K. HILDE, LET'S GO." Hilde walks to the door and goes with them to the car. They start
driving toward the Son's house.
Duo: Hey, I know what we can do! Let's sing '100 bottles of beer on the wall'!
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DINGDONG!
"Hey, someone is here! Piccolo, answer the door!"
"OKAY, WOMAN!!!"
Piccolo opens the door and sees that it is...the ROCK!!! (we all here the rock's theme music
in the background)
"THE ROCK HAS COME HERE TONIGHT TO GET SOME POON-TANG PIE! WHERE IS IT?"
Chichi comes out of the kitchen and sees the Rock. "Oh, hello Dwayne! How are you?"
"The Rock says that he's fine, how about yourself?"
"Oh, I'm okay. Are you here for your Poon-tang pie?"
"YES, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK FOR HIS PIE!"
"Okay, it's in the oven. Do you want to stay hre with us for Christmas?"
"Yes, THE ROCK would."
----------