DC Super-Heroes fanscript series: " Scenes from the DC Universe: Episode One: The DC Super-Heroes fanscript series: " Scenes from the DC Universe: Episode Two: The Mis-Adventures of the World's Finest."
Comic Episode Two takes place in: Either a "World's Finest" one-shot the week after the comic featuring "Episode One's" story or the Batman book released after said story.
Time the "episode" would take place: Almost immediately after "Episode One.
by Thomas Greene.
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
Lois Lane had been almost jubilant for the past few days. She had finally been able to procreate with her husband Clark, despite the doctor saying that he couldn't safely do so. She didn't care about that, or about the fact that she would have to spend the time of her pregnancy in a modified form of darkroom. All she cared about was the fact that she'd be a mommy with the man she loved.
"I don't like this as much as you don't", Clark said, "but it's the safest thing we could do. We don't want to risk something happening like say, you going to get a tan and the baby bursting through you." It was hard for both of them to say goodbye, knowing they wouldn't really see each other for around nine months.
"I can't believe it." Clark thought. "I'm getting what I want, but I have to put my love in a glorified box for a good period of time. I need some good action to get me going."
Just then, almost as part of a bad plot hole, Clark got a phone call.
"WASSUP!" the voice on the other end yelled.Clark recognized it immediately.
"Dammit, Bruce, that phrase is SO last month."
"Well, that's not the point."
"What is it?
"There's some danger running through Gotham. My "friend" needs your "friend's" help."
"Oh, I see. My "friend" will be right there." Clark was fired up. He had something to do. In an instant, he ripped his street clothes off and took to the air. Unfortunately, a little sunlight got into the house, and went through the cracks of the "darkroom's door...
"What's the big problem, man?" Superman asked.
"We have a problem that is bigger than any we have ever faced." Batman replied.
"Where?"
"Two large gangs of nameless street thugs like in sidescrolling video games have joined forces to try and kick our ass."
Superman remained stoic.
Superman started laughing.
"THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE BIG PROBLEM? I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! YOU COULD KICK THEIR ASSES WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!"
"Hey, I had some ulterior motives to this. Come on, we'll beat them up and shoot the shit."
The two heroes swooped down toward the fray. Instantly, half of the people fainted from fright. The heroes proceeded to beat the others up 5 or 6 at a time. Within minutes, the entirety of both gangs were defeated.
"We beat them." Batman said.
"Yep." Superman replied.
"You wanna go get something to drink?"
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SCENE HAS BEEN WATERED DOWN BY THE COMIC BOOK FANS OF THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT.)
The two headed over to a local (JUICE) bar. They went over to the (SERVER.)
"What'll it be?"
"I'll take one of your (JUICES.) Any brand will do." Batman replied.
"I'll go with one of the (SMOOTHIES), let's see. The Midnight Train to Georgia looks pretty good right now." Superman replied.
The (SERVER) quickly went to get them. The two heroes started talking.
"I really hate fighting these minor criminals."Superman said.
"Why? Is it a little too tame for you?" Batman asked.
"No, that's not it. It's just that I'm a little too powerful for them."
"What's the problem there?"
"Those people were just mortals, man. A lot of them were just kids. They didn't want to kill me, they just wanted to get some peace. Now we fought them, and many will probably nurse major injuries."
"It's part of the game, man. One day you'll meet up with one of those guys who'll stop at nothing to defeat you. What'll you do then?"
"I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess."
The (SERVER) brought Superman's (SMOOTHIE) over. It was a larger (SMOOTHIE) made with a mint (ICE TEA) splashed with peach (NECTAR) and liberal amounts of Night Train (BRAND JUICE.) He then got Batman a Budweiser (JUICE.)
The two began to get more engrossed in typical conversation.
"So, how have you been doing?" Superman asked.
"You know. The usual. What's up with you?" Batman replied.
"I knocked her up."
"WHOA. That is fricking good. She still upright?"
"Not really. Just another problem with that whole "Krypton Curse."
"Ah, yes. 'More powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet...'"
"Well, it doesn't matter. Hey, do you want to come over and see how we're trying to keep it as safe as possible?"
"Sure."
The two changed clothes and went to Wayne's private jet.
"Welcome to Wayne Force One. Our in-flight movie is The Blair Witch Project..." The auto-pilot blasted.
"Why can't you pick out a good movie on this plane?"
"Sorry."
The two went into Clark's house.
"So, how are you keeping this in check?"
"You know. A switch of the windows, a darkroom as the basement, it's sound as a pound."
Suddenly, they heard a scream.
"What is that?" They both asked. Clark ran to the "darkroom."
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's time." Lois replied.
"Oh, crap. Some yellow sunlight must have gotten in. I'll get you to the hospital."
Clark picked Lois up quickly and got her into Bruce's plane. They quickly flew to the local hospital.
"We have a problem here.My wife's going into labor." Clark said.
"Labor? But she's only been pregnant a couple of days," the doctor said.
"Would you believe we used First Response?"
"Okay, right this way."
Bruce and Clark tried to keep Lois calm.
"Come on, honey, breathe..."
"YOU TRY BREATHING WHEN YOU'RE PASSING SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
"Come on, Lois. You've just got to calm down..."
"OH, BIG TALK COMING FROM A GUY WHO NEVER HAD A STEADY GIRLFRIEND AND HAS LIVED FOR THE PAST 60-ODD YEARS WITH ONLY HIS 'YOUTHFUL WARD IN TIGHTS!'"
"For the last time, it's nothing like that!"
"Come on, you know you're just delirious..."
"OH, SURE! TRY AND DO THIS! YOU AREN'T EVEN MANLY ENOUGH TO GO AROUND IN SOMETHING THAT ISN'T BLUE PANTYHOSE AND LITTLE RED SMUGGLERS!"
"It's almost out. Just a little more..."
Within a few moments, a Superbaby was unleashed on the world.
After the birth, Bruce and Clark went out to go get a coffee.
"So, how does that feel?" Bruce asked.
"Not half bad."Clark replied.
"Listen, I'm just glad I could see that."
"Well, it's all good. Listen, man. You've done a lot for us, how would you like to enter an arrangement?"
"You mean, like a godparent? Sure."
"Well, this one is slightly different. I think that the future criminals will be much more powerful. Therefore, I think we should arrange a marriage."
"What? That's way old school."
"Don't worry. It won't be immediate. Instead, I plan to use our long-past descendants."
"How long are you saying?"
"I'm talking around oh, say, 1000 years?"
"Seems pretty cool. But what if they're the same gender?"
"If that happens, we don't hold them to it. Simple."
"But what if someone else wants one of them?"
"Well, we'd need to see if they can handle the criminals of the 30th century. Therefore, if they want one of them, they have to come back here and fight us."
"How do you know they could come back here?"
"Those kids in the Legion managed to come back here a few years back. Of course any suitor could."
"Well, I guess it's settled then. To our descendants' future."
Meanwhile, in the 30th century:
"MAIL'S HERE!"
The Legionnaires all crowded towards the mail carriage droid to see if their families had sent them something.
"Ooh, a big package! My parents obviously remembered my birthday. I wonder what it is!" Cornell exclaimed. She ripped off the tape and saw a wedding dress.
"DAMN! I haven't even met them yet and they're already pressuring us!" Boombastic said.
"There's a note. "Dear Jocelyn, on this, the 18th anniversary of the day of your birth, we are pleased to announce that the arranged marriage between you and Tim Wayne as set in the year 2003 will go about without a hitch..."
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"I cannot believe this. That was made so long ago, who'd have thunk that they'd hold me to it?"
"I don't know, but can you get out of it?"
"The only way is to go back to the 20th century and defeat Superman and Batman in battle. I think it's nigh impossible."
"Well, I always love doing the impossible. Why else do you think I frequent Milliways?"
END EPISODE TWO.
Comic Episode Two takes place in: Either a "World's Finest" one-shot the week after the comic featuring "Episode One's" story or the Batman book released after said story.
Time the "episode" would take place: Almost immediately after "Episode One.
by Thomas Greene.
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
Lois Lane had been almost jubilant for the past few days. She had finally been able to procreate with her husband Clark, despite the doctor saying that he couldn't safely do so. She didn't care about that, or about the fact that she would have to spend the time of her pregnancy in a modified form of darkroom. All she cared about was the fact that she'd be a mommy with the man she loved.
"I don't like this as much as you don't", Clark said, "but it's the safest thing we could do. We don't want to risk something happening like say, you going to get a tan and the baby bursting through you." It was hard for both of them to say goodbye, knowing they wouldn't really see each other for around nine months.
"I can't believe it." Clark thought. "I'm getting what I want, but I have to put my love in a glorified box for a good period of time. I need some good action to get me going."
Just then, almost as part of a bad plot hole, Clark got a phone call.
"WASSUP!" the voice on the other end yelled.Clark recognized it immediately.
"Dammit, Bruce, that phrase is SO last month."
"Well, that's not the point."
"What is it?
"There's some danger running through Gotham. My "friend" needs your "friend's" help."
"Oh, I see. My "friend" will be right there." Clark was fired up. He had something to do. In an instant, he ripped his street clothes off and took to the air. Unfortunately, a little sunlight got into the house, and went through the cracks of the "darkroom's door...
"What's the big problem, man?" Superman asked.
"We have a problem that is bigger than any we have ever faced." Batman replied.
"Where?"
"Two large gangs of nameless street thugs like in sidescrolling video games have joined forces to try and kick our ass."
Superman remained stoic.
Superman started laughing.
"THAT'S IT? THAT'S THE BIG PROBLEM? I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! YOU COULD KICK THEIR ASSES WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!"
"Hey, I had some ulterior motives to this. Come on, we'll beat them up and shoot the shit."
The two heroes swooped down toward the fray. Instantly, half of the people fainted from fright. The heroes proceeded to beat the others up 5 or 6 at a time. Within minutes, the entirety of both gangs were defeated.
"We beat them." Batman said.
"Yep." Superman replied.
"You wanna go get something to drink?"
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SCENE HAS BEEN WATERED DOWN BY THE COMIC BOOK FANS OF THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT.)
The two headed over to a local (JUICE) bar. They went over to the (SERVER.)
"What'll it be?"
"I'll take one of your (JUICES.) Any brand will do." Batman replied.
"I'll go with one of the (SMOOTHIES), let's see. The Midnight Train to Georgia looks pretty good right now." Superman replied.
The (SERVER) quickly went to get them. The two heroes started talking.
"I really hate fighting these minor criminals."Superman said.
"Why? Is it a little too tame for you?" Batman asked.
"No, that's not it. It's just that I'm a little too powerful for them."
"What's the problem there?"
"Those people were just mortals, man. A lot of them were just kids. They didn't want to kill me, they just wanted to get some peace. Now we fought them, and many will probably nurse major injuries."
"It's part of the game, man. One day you'll meet up with one of those guys who'll stop at nothing to defeat you. What'll you do then?"
"I'll just cross that bridge when I come to it, I guess."
The (SERVER) brought Superman's (SMOOTHIE) over. It was a larger (SMOOTHIE) made with a mint (ICE TEA) splashed with peach (NECTAR) and liberal amounts of Night Train (BRAND JUICE.) He then got Batman a Budweiser (JUICE.)
The two began to get more engrossed in typical conversation.
"So, how have you been doing?" Superman asked.
"You know. The usual. What's up with you?" Batman replied.
"I knocked her up."
"WHOA. That is fricking good. She still upright?"
"Not really. Just another problem with that whole "Krypton Curse."
"Ah, yes. 'More powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet...'"
"Well, it doesn't matter. Hey, do you want to come over and see how we're trying to keep it as safe as possible?"
"Sure."
The two changed clothes and went to Wayne's private jet.
"Welcome to Wayne Force One. Our in-flight movie is The Blair Witch Project..." The auto-pilot blasted.
"Why can't you pick out a good movie on this plane?"
"Sorry."
The two went into Clark's house.
"So, how are you keeping this in check?"
"You know. A switch of the windows, a darkroom as the basement, it's sound as a pound."
Suddenly, they heard a scream.
"What is that?" They both asked. Clark ran to the "darkroom."
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's time." Lois replied.
"Oh, crap. Some yellow sunlight must have gotten in. I'll get you to the hospital."
Clark picked Lois up quickly and got her into Bruce's plane. They quickly flew to the local hospital.
"We have a problem here.My wife's going into labor." Clark said.
"Labor? But she's only been pregnant a couple of days," the doctor said.
"Would you believe we used First Response?"
"Okay, right this way."
Bruce and Clark tried to keep Lois calm.
"Come on, honey, breathe..."
"YOU TRY BREATHING WHEN YOU'RE PASSING SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
"Come on, Lois. You've just got to calm down..."
"OH, BIG TALK COMING FROM A GUY WHO NEVER HAD A STEADY GIRLFRIEND AND HAS LIVED FOR THE PAST 60-ODD YEARS WITH ONLY HIS 'YOUTHFUL WARD IN TIGHTS!'"
"For the last time, it's nothing like that!"
"Come on, you know you're just delirious..."
"OH, SURE! TRY AND DO THIS! YOU AREN'T EVEN MANLY ENOUGH TO GO AROUND IN SOMETHING THAT ISN'T BLUE PANTYHOSE AND LITTLE RED SMUGGLERS!"
"It's almost out. Just a little more..."
Within a few moments, a Superbaby was unleashed on the world.
After the birth, Bruce and Clark went out to go get a coffee.
"So, how does that feel?" Bruce asked.
"Not half bad."Clark replied.
"Listen, I'm just glad I could see that."
"Well, it's all good. Listen, man. You've done a lot for us, how would you like to enter an arrangement?"
"You mean, like a godparent? Sure."
"Well, this one is slightly different. I think that the future criminals will be much more powerful. Therefore, I think we should arrange a marriage."
"What? That's way old school."
"Don't worry. It won't be immediate. Instead, I plan to use our long-past descendants."
"How long are you saying?"
"I'm talking around oh, say, 1000 years?"
"Seems pretty cool. But what if they're the same gender?"
"If that happens, we don't hold them to it. Simple."
"But what if someone else wants one of them?"
"Well, we'd need to see if they can handle the criminals of the 30th century. Therefore, if they want one of them, they have to come back here and fight us."
"How do you know they could come back here?"
"Those kids in the Legion managed to come back here a few years back. Of course any suitor could."
"Well, I guess it's settled then. To our descendants' future."
Meanwhile, in the 30th century:
"MAIL'S HERE!"
The Legionnaires all crowded towards the mail carriage droid to see if their families had sent them something.
"Ooh, a big package! My parents obviously remembered my birthday. I wonder what it is!" Cornell exclaimed. She ripped off the tape and saw a wedding dress.
"DAMN! I haven't even met them yet and they're already pressuring us!" Boombastic said.
"There's a note. "Dear Jocelyn, on this, the 18th anniversary of the day of your birth, we are pleased to announce that the arranged marriage between you and Tim Wayne as set in the year 2003 will go about without a hitch..."
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
"I cannot believe this. That was made so long ago, who'd have thunk that they'd hold me to it?"
"I don't know, but can you get out of it?"
"The only way is to go back to the 20th century and defeat Superman and Batman in battle. I think it's nigh impossible."
"Well, I always love doing the impossible. Why else do you think I frequent Milliways?"
END EPISODE TWO.