DC Super-Heroes fanscript series: " Scenes from the DC Universe: Episode Five: The Mis-Adventures of the Final Battle." Comic Episode Five takes place in: Legionnaires.
Time the "episode" would take place: Almost immediately after "Episode Four."
by Thomas Greene.
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
"D.S." and "Tommy Gunz" were just heading back to their car when Commissioner Foley stopped them.
"Do you two have a last will and testament out? If so, can I have your stereo?" he asked.
"Why would you say that?" the artist secretly known as Momentum asked.
"I just talked with two guys who watched the show. You might know them, SUPERMAN and BATMAN..."
"And this is a problem....why?"
"They accept. You'll fight them at PPV."
"WOO HOO!" the artist secretly known as Boombastic yelled.
"Why are you guys so happy? You're going to get your asses kicked!"
"You cannot hear the reasons, but it is my only goal to defeat Superman. End of story." "Boombastic" looked stoic.
"Well, different strokes to move the world. Do you guys need any help?"
"Well, yeah. We'll find the arena, all the stuff. Just let us do our thing."
The two went into a room to decide the main things.
"Now, since this is so big, we've cut all the other matches. It'll just be an apparent best-of-seven singles series between your team and theirs."
"That's damn cool." Momentum said.
"I know that there isn't any arena that wouldn't take this fight immediately.You guys are doomed, so we'll schedule it for where you want to fight. What's your preference?"
"We'd prefer it to be fought in some arena that looks as close to a dank, empty warehouse as humanly possible,"Boombastic said.
"Yes, this is Superman."
"We've made the place where it'll be. We've booked the Arena of Happy Harbor, Rhode Island."
"Okay. We've got our flankers. Do you know of The Flash and Green Lantern?"
"They're dead men, aren't they?"
"I'd assume so."
The show snowballed from there. Every human being wanted to see this fight firsthand. The Arena of Happy Harbor sold out in a matter of seconds, and the Pay Per View had gotten a record amount of pre-orders. It was expected that at least half of the world was watching the pay-per-view.
"So, we're actually fighting two newcomers who challenged Supes and Batman for no good reason?" The Flash asked.
"Well, yeah. Why the hell would they want to fight those two? They're the best!" Green Lantern replied.
"Say, I think we need to have some fun. Isn't that Steve Blackman?"
"Um, yeah. Why?"
"Take your ring and create a referee for just a second."
Green Lantern created a referee as The Flash snuck up on Blackman and got a clean pinfall to get the Hardcore title.
"DUDE!" Green Lantern exclaimed.
Meanwhile, in Superman's dressing room, he had gotten a meeting that he had requested.
"So, why are you guys doing this?" he asked.
"It is a necessity." Momentum replied.
"I cannot tell you why I'm doing this...yet. If we're fighting in the final battle, I will if you can guess the story by then.We're both the last on our teams, so it could be done. However, until then, all you can know is that I don't want to take your life, but I would fight to my own death to defeat you," Boombastic said.
The PPV started. Commissioner Foley went into the ring.
"WELCOME, PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, TWO COCKY SONS-OF-BITCHES CHALLENGED EARTH'S GREATEST HEROES TO A FIGHT. DUE TO THIS, WE WILL HAVE THAT FIGHT RIGHT HERE IN HAPPY HARBOR, RHODE ISLAND..."Foley put his thumb up as the fans applauded.
"AND WE HOPE TO SEE THOSE DUDES GET WHAT'S THEIRS!"
The music started playing as Batman, Superman, Flash, and Green Lantern went out to the arena. The fans started cheering. The commissioner went up to each of them.
"So, what's your order going to be?" he asked.
"Batman, Flash,GL, Superman:" Batman replied.
Suddenly, the lights went black. "Peppyrock" started blasting. The two "wrestlers" came to the ring.
"WELCOME, HAPPY HARBOR, TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, IT IS I, D.S. AND ALL THE LADIES KNOW THAT STANDS FOR "DEAD SEX-AY" DAVE SATIVA! WITH ME AS ALWAYS, THE TIMEBOMB TOMMY GUNZ!" Momentum yelled.
"And just because we know we could kill these two, we decided to just get some mailroom boy from Metropolis and some scientist from Gotham to be our teammates!," "Timebomb" replied.
"Arthur" and "Lawrence" came to the ring. Superman and Batman were shocked.
Foley asked, "Well, what's your team's order?"
"Lawrence James, D.S., Arthur Fonzarelli, Timebomb," "D.S." replied.
The teams went to different sides as "Time Warp" and Batman went in.
"So, you're friends with these guys?" Batman asked as they went into a grapple.
"Um,yeah. We're down."
The two fought for a little bit. It looked like Batman was going to teach him a lesson. "Time Warp" went over to the corner to talk with his teammates.
"I'm going to need to unlock my power. Cover it up."
"Okay man." Momentum ran to the back and hit the lights. During the time, Time Warp went through time and fixed it so that Bruce Wayne's parents were never killed.
When the lights went back on, Bruce was shaken. "What am I doing here in this outfit?" During his disorientation, Time Warp jumped on him and got the pin. During the break, Time Warp used his power to re-fix history so that Bruce Wayne did have his parents killed.
"How did he do that? I mean, Bruce has easily one of the biggest sticks up his ass whenever he's here! In addition, he'd know what he'd do before he knew!" the Flash said.
"Well, it doesn't matter. You're up next,"Batman replied.
The Flash went back to the ring. "Lawrence" was already there.The two scuffled for a short period. Within seconds, Lawrence was beaten without mercy. The Flash went back to the dressing room to hold up.
"Now it's your turn, Dave." Time Warp said.
"Is there going to be even a problem?" "Momentum" replied.
He went towards the ring. Flash turned up the speed with the goal of blasting him toward nothingness. However,
"D.S." got a strange glow to himself and instantly "seemed" to become immovable and unable to be fought. The Flash couldn't hurt him. Instantly, D.S. went at speeds even faster than the Flash and fought him. No one saw most of the fight, save for the streaks. However, when both streaks stopped, D.S. was the one standing.
"HUH? He beat Flash? He had powers! I've just got some cool weapon! I'm doomed!" Green Lantern exclaimed.
"What I'm more interested in is why that 'speed burst' from sharing the Speed Force like he did caused his uniform to change from blue and orange to green and yellow. I'll have to check this out," Batman replied.
"Geez, that speed nearly burned through my costume. Now I need to change my costume back to the real one," Momentum thought. He dropped the remains of his costume into his locker, took off his Legion utility belt, and went back towards the ring.
Green Lantern was still visibly shaken. "I'm going to have to stop him the best way possible, distraction."
The two got ready to fight. "Momentum" started to glow again. Green Lantern took the opportunity to create versions of various other guys; wrestlers, thugs he'd fought, and a couple of his buddies. In an instant, the lights went off. When they came back on, D.S. was nowhere to be found.
"Hey, where'd he go?" the referee asked.
"Trust me man, he's not coming back."
"The winner by default, Green Lantern."
The stalk was what Batman was best at. He quietly went around the arena looking for the wrestlers' dressing rooms. He finally got some answers to and found out where "D.S." and "Timebomb" were. He made his way to the locker saying Dave Sativa. He opened it up carefully. Inside, he found the remains of his costume.
"It's a little hot. He must have had something underneath there, and the top layer burnt off by exposure to the Speed Force. But why would he need a bottom layer? I'll need to check..."
Immediately after picking up the costume, he cast his eyes on his tell-tale utility belt.
"Oh, I do NOT believe this one."
"Arthur" went towards the ring. Green Lantern was ready to get his ring to do the same thing. However, Arthur had a plan.
"So, you can make...anything with your ring?"
"Um, yeah. It's really cool."
"You couldn't make anything."
"Try me."
"I dare you to make me one really nice hot cup of tea. And make it be one of the best I've ever tasted."
Green Lantern took all of his knowledge into the fore. Within seconds, he produced a team of Smurfs who made both of them a good cup of really hot tea. Green Lantern sipped his self-assuredly. Arthur drank his a little bit quicker. In an instant, Green Lantern's tea splashed up into his eyes, blinding him. Arthur went behind him quickly and administered a German suplex. It was all down to Superman.
"Batman! I've got my match in a few minutes. What do you need?" Superman asked.
"I have what each of these people's hiding,"Batman replied
"Oh. I think they've got something they aren't telling us."
"All I know is that in your match with Arthur, aim your heat vision for the area near his belt. You'll get what they're hiding."
"Thanks."
Arthur was in for the scare of his life. He was facing the person he learned all about in preschool. What would he do to him? Break him in two? Use his amazing skills like "Super-Ventriloquism" or another like that on him?
Superman came in and just started to talk with Arthur.
"So, what's up?" Superman said.
"Not much. " Arthur replied.
"So, I think we're going to need to give them a match."
"Don't hurt me too bad."
"Don't worry."
In an instant, Superman set his heat vision toward Arthur's shirt and pants. They quickly burned up easily, revealing Arthur's Legion uniform underneath.
"Well, I'll be damned. Hold up one second." Superman quickly thrust himself toward "Bender" and got the pin.
After that match, the "Timebomb" went towards Superman's dressing room to gloat.
"Are you ready to lose to the Timebomb?" he asked.
"No, but I am ready to see what the Timebomb had planned."Superman replied.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"I'm not dumb. I saw what went on underneath the lights. Your friend 'Lawrence' disappearing, your friend 'D.S.' doing the same. In addition, I just burned off Arthur's outfit and found this on top of a different one." Superman handed "Timebomb" his friend's Legion utility belt.
"Now, do you mind explaining your story, Legionnaire?"
"Okay, Supes. The main story is this. My name's Shane Matzner. Me and my friends here are 4 members in good standing of the Legion of Super-Heroes. 'Lawrence' is called Time Warp, 'D.S.' is called Momentum, your buddy Arthur is called Bender, and I am called Boombastic. We just came down here so that I could fight you and Batman."
"But why would you do something like that?"
Shane went quiet for a second.
"I did it because I'm in love with your daughter."
"Excuse me? My daughter's only a couple days old!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your granddaughter."
"Exsqueeze me? I should hope I don't have one yet!"
Shane got his bearings. "Great-great-great-great-great granddaughter?"
"Now you're just being silly."
"No, just making time adjustments. As I just found out, you and Batman made a little...arrangement for your descendants in the 30th century to marry."
"Um, yeah..."
"It just so happens that one of the people in it is my girlfriend. On the plus side, you might be happy to know that she's a Legionnaire as well."
"That's awesome."
"Due to this, because we really don't want to go through with this, I had to come down here and fight you."
"I see."
"Now you can see why I don't want to kill you, but I'd fight to the death to defeat you. If I lose, the first girl I've ever really loved is taken away from me."
"Okay then. I'll see you in the ring."
Superman headed into the ring with his mind in a daze. How could that little jocular arrangement be made as real, and how did that guy intend to fight him?
Suddenly, Boombastic came into the ring.
The two squared off for a little bit. Superman tried to use some long-range attack by taking his heat vision out. Boombastic was visibly getting burned, but he walked through it just the same. He tried to punch Superman, but to no avail.
Superman punched Boombastic a little bit harder, sending him flying to the rafters. Boombastic took that in stride, caught himself using his flight ring, and went downwards in a quadruple Senton Bomb, landing right onto Superman's shoulders. He tried to roll him up for the pin, but he couldn't take him down.
Boombastic went airborne, hoping to get him on the ground. Superman just flew with him. Boombastic proceeded to grab his legs and go toward a piledriver position, sending them both to the mat. Boombastic was as shaken as Superman wasn't. He tried to get his bearings. Superman pummelled him immensely.
Boombastic saw his only chance was to go long-range. He quickly went with the only attack that he could think of. He got his finger into a gun position. He jammed that right next to his prosthetic arm.
"SMOKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!"Boombastic screamed.
In an instant, a Green Flame like no other that he had made before flew out. It was powerful enough to short the Arena scoreboard and burn most of the banners held by the Happy Harbor College Fighting Monks and the Happy Harbor Bears into cinders. However, Superman was unfazed.
Superman didn't know much about people who could hurt him, but he did know enough to know when he survived unscathed what virtually any other humanoid would have perished against. He had enough of a certainty to know that this was one of those times. He saw more about how this young kid wasn't like the other nameless thugs that he faced who wanted to loot and hurt people, then emptyed all their rounds in a vain attempt to shoot him. "Heck, he can't be a bad guy, I mean he's a Legionnaire. That's the purest sign of being a do-gooder in the 30th century." He looked into the stands. He saw Lois in the stands with their child. "Lois", he thought. "What would I be capable of if I had found out early on that she was promised to some guy?" He saw all of the fans in the stands who knew Superman to be the most noble institution of good in the world, without any secrets, without any scandals to his name.
He thought about all of these things and decided to do it.
He fell backwards.
Boombastic was visibly worried. "Dude, are you all right?" he asked.
"Pin me." Superman replied.
"What?"
"I said 'Pin me', dammit! I know what that belt and that ring signify. I'm certain you're telling the truth. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have my descendant be with than a guy like you. I mean, you're willing to fight me for her, right?"
Boombastic put his hand over him.
"1...2...3."
The match was over. The crowd was stunned. Boombastic had beaten the greatest super-hero of them all. Everyone left talking about the fight and how "that kid Timebomb" had just pulled off the hugest upset they've ever seen. The referee, Boombastic, and Superman knew what the real score was, but they decided to let them have that thought.
Epilogue: A few days later.
Clark Kent was just relaxing at home for a little break. The taste of the match had almost worn off. People were surprised he lost, but they still loved him as their hero. He was surprised when a girl showed up on his doorstep.He wasn't sure what her age was, couldn't be younger than 16, couldn't be older than 25.
"Clark Kent? THE Clark Kent? OH MY GAWD! I am like your biggest fan!" She exclaimed.
"How did you get my address?" He asked.
"White Pages."
"Um, would you like to come in?"
"Sure." She came in.
"Phew, now I can get this character off."
"What character?"
"You know. Screaming Teeny-bopper type. Actually, you won't believe it, but my name is Jocelyn Kent. I'm your great-great-great-great-great granddaughter."
"I can believe it. So, from the 30th century, eh?" he asked.
"Yep."
"I heard you're a Legionnaire. Is that true?"
"As true as possible. Thanks for that Kryptonian gene, by the by. It's saved my cute little butt more times than I know of."
"I figured about these things. I was just talking a few days ago with this guy who said he knows you. Boom Boom, Boombox...."
"Boombastic?"
"Yeah, that's it. Do you know him?"
"Just check out my flighter."
He looked at her ring. It was just a typical one, not unlike the other ones he had seen Legionnaires wear before.
Um, other one.
He saw one that appeared to be modified from them. Instead of a pure cut grain, he saw notches in a language the Legionnaires had told him was "Interlac." In addition, he saw a diamond-made "S" on the top instead of the "L" that traditionally went on them.
"Hmmm. Nice one. What does it mean? Sub? Superman?"
"Duh! It stands for 'Shane.'"
"Oh. I SEE."
"I figured, you made this happen, so you'd probably want to know that we're going to be wed."
"Sweet."
Jocelyn left, grabbed Boombastic and Time Warp, and vanished out of sight.
"Yep, I did that joke because I thought the criminals would need it..."Superman thought."I guess, why give them even more to worry about?"
The end.
Time the "episode" would take place: Almost immediately after "Episode Four."
by Thomas Greene.
Some of these characters/situations/other stuff may be the copyright of DC Comics. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.
"D.S." and "Tommy Gunz" were just heading back to their car when Commissioner Foley stopped them.
"Do you two have a last will and testament out? If so, can I have your stereo?" he asked.
"Why would you say that?" the artist secretly known as Momentum asked.
"I just talked with two guys who watched the show. You might know them, SUPERMAN and BATMAN..."
"And this is a problem....why?"
"They accept. You'll fight them at PPV."
"WOO HOO!" the artist secretly known as Boombastic yelled.
"Why are you guys so happy? You're going to get your asses kicked!"
"You cannot hear the reasons, but it is my only goal to defeat Superman. End of story." "Boombastic" looked stoic.
"Well, different strokes to move the world. Do you guys need any help?"
"Well, yeah. We'll find the arena, all the stuff. Just let us do our thing."
The two went into a room to decide the main things.
"Now, since this is so big, we've cut all the other matches. It'll just be an apparent best-of-seven singles series between your team and theirs."
"That's damn cool." Momentum said.
"I know that there isn't any arena that wouldn't take this fight immediately.You guys are doomed, so we'll schedule it for where you want to fight. What's your preference?"
"We'd prefer it to be fought in some arena that looks as close to a dank, empty warehouse as humanly possible,"Boombastic said.
"Yes, this is Superman."
"We've made the place where it'll be. We've booked the Arena of Happy Harbor, Rhode Island."
"Okay. We've got our flankers. Do you know of The Flash and Green Lantern?"
"They're dead men, aren't they?"
"I'd assume so."
The show snowballed from there. Every human being wanted to see this fight firsthand. The Arena of Happy Harbor sold out in a matter of seconds, and the Pay Per View had gotten a record amount of pre-orders. It was expected that at least half of the world was watching the pay-per-view.
"So, we're actually fighting two newcomers who challenged Supes and Batman for no good reason?" The Flash asked.
"Well, yeah. Why the hell would they want to fight those two? They're the best!" Green Lantern replied.
"Say, I think we need to have some fun. Isn't that Steve Blackman?"
"Um, yeah. Why?"
"Take your ring and create a referee for just a second."
Green Lantern created a referee as The Flash snuck up on Blackman and got a clean pinfall to get the Hardcore title.
"DUDE!" Green Lantern exclaimed.
Meanwhile, in Superman's dressing room, he had gotten a meeting that he had requested.
"So, why are you guys doing this?" he asked.
"It is a necessity." Momentum replied.
"I cannot tell you why I'm doing this...yet. If we're fighting in the final battle, I will if you can guess the story by then.We're both the last on our teams, so it could be done. However, until then, all you can know is that I don't want to take your life, but I would fight to my own death to defeat you," Boombastic said.
The PPV started. Commissioner Foley went into the ring.
"WELCOME, PEOPLE OF THE WORLD! AS YOU MAY HAVE HEARD, TWO COCKY SONS-OF-BITCHES CHALLENGED EARTH'S GREATEST HEROES TO A FIGHT. DUE TO THIS, WE WILL HAVE THAT FIGHT RIGHT HERE IN HAPPY HARBOR, RHODE ISLAND..."Foley put his thumb up as the fans applauded.
"AND WE HOPE TO SEE THOSE DUDES GET WHAT'S THEIRS!"
The music started playing as Batman, Superman, Flash, and Green Lantern went out to the arena. The fans started cheering. The commissioner went up to each of them.
"So, what's your order going to be?" he asked.
"Batman, Flash,GL, Superman:" Batman replied.
Suddenly, the lights went black. "Peppyrock" started blasting. The two "wrestlers" came to the ring.
"WELCOME, HAPPY HARBOR, TO YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE! IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, IT IS I, D.S. AND ALL THE LADIES KNOW THAT STANDS FOR "DEAD SEX-AY" DAVE SATIVA! WITH ME AS ALWAYS, THE TIMEBOMB TOMMY GUNZ!" Momentum yelled.
"And just because we know we could kill these two, we decided to just get some mailroom boy from Metropolis and some scientist from Gotham to be our teammates!," "Timebomb" replied.
"Arthur" and "Lawrence" came to the ring. Superman and Batman were shocked.
Foley asked, "Well, what's your team's order?"
"Lawrence James, D.S., Arthur Fonzarelli, Timebomb," "D.S." replied.
The teams went to different sides as "Time Warp" and Batman went in.
"So, you're friends with these guys?" Batman asked as they went into a grapple.
"Um,yeah. We're down."
The two fought for a little bit. It looked like Batman was going to teach him a lesson. "Time Warp" went over to the corner to talk with his teammates.
"I'm going to need to unlock my power. Cover it up."
"Okay man." Momentum ran to the back and hit the lights. During the time, Time Warp went through time and fixed it so that Bruce Wayne's parents were never killed.
When the lights went back on, Bruce was shaken. "What am I doing here in this outfit?" During his disorientation, Time Warp jumped on him and got the pin. During the break, Time Warp used his power to re-fix history so that Bruce Wayne did have his parents killed.
"How did he do that? I mean, Bruce has easily one of the biggest sticks up his ass whenever he's here! In addition, he'd know what he'd do before he knew!" the Flash said.
"Well, it doesn't matter. You're up next,"Batman replied.
The Flash went back to the ring. "Lawrence" was already there.The two scuffled for a short period. Within seconds, Lawrence was beaten without mercy. The Flash went back to the dressing room to hold up.
"Now it's your turn, Dave." Time Warp said.
"Is there going to be even a problem?" "Momentum" replied.
He went towards the ring. Flash turned up the speed with the goal of blasting him toward nothingness. However,
"D.S." got a strange glow to himself and instantly "seemed" to become immovable and unable to be fought. The Flash couldn't hurt him. Instantly, D.S. went at speeds even faster than the Flash and fought him. No one saw most of the fight, save for the streaks. However, when both streaks stopped, D.S. was the one standing.
"HUH? He beat Flash? He had powers! I've just got some cool weapon! I'm doomed!" Green Lantern exclaimed.
"What I'm more interested in is why that 'speed burst' from sharing the Speed Force like he did caused his uniform to change from blue and orange to green and yellow. I'll have to check this out," Batman replied.
"Geez, that speed nearly burned through my costume. Now I need to change my costume back to the real one," Momentum thought. He dropped the remains of his costume into his locker, took off his Legion utility belt, and went back towards the ring.
Green Lantern was still visibly shaken. "I'm going to have to stop him the best way possible, distraction."
The two got ready to fight. "Momentum" started to glow again. Green Lantern took the opportunity to create versions of various other guys; wrestlers, thugs he'd fought, and a couple of his buddies. In an instant, the lights went off. When they came back on, D.S. was nowhere to be found.
"Hey, where'd he go?" the referee asked.
"Trust me man, he's not coming back."
"The winner by default, Green Lantern."
The stalk was what Batman was best at. He quietly went around the arena looking for the wrestlers' dressing rooms. He finally got some answers to and found out where "D.S." and "Timebomb" were. He made his way to the locker saying Dave Sativa. He opened it up carefully. Inside, he found the remains of his costume.
"It's a little hot. He must have had something underneath there, and the top layer burnt off by exposure to the Speed Force. But why would he need a bottom layer? I'll need to check..."
Immediately after picking up the costume, he cast his eyes on his tell-tale utility belt.
"Oh, I do NOT believe this one."
"Arthur" went towards the ring. Green Lantern was ready to get his ring to do the same thing. However, Arthur had a plan.
"So, you can make...anything with your ring?"
"Um, yeah. It's really cool."
"You couldn't make anything."
"Try me."
"I dare you to make me one really nice hot cup of tea. And make it be one of the best I've ever tasted."
Green Lantern took all of his knowledge into the fore. Within seconds, he produced a team of Smurfs who made both of them a good cup of really hot tea. Green Lantern sipped his self-assuredly. Arthur drank his a little bit quicker. In an instant, Green Lantern's tea splashed up into his eyes, blinding him. Arthur went behind him quickly and administered a German suplex. It was all down to Superman.
"Batman! I've got my match in a few minutes. What do you need?" Superman asked.
"I have what each of these people's hiding,"Batman replied
"Oh. I think they've got something they aren't telling us."
"All I know is that in your match with Arthur, aim your heat vision for the area near his belt. You'll get what they're hiding."
"Thanks."
Arthur was in for the scare of his life. He was facing the person he learned all about in preschool. What would he do to him? Break him in two? Use his amazing skills like "Super-Ventriloquism" or another like that on him?
Superman came in and just started to talk with Arthur.
"So, what's up?" Superman said.
"Not much. " Arthur replied.
"So, I think we're going to need to give them a match."
"Don't hurt me too bad."
"Don't worry."
In an instant, Superman set his heat vision toward Arthur's shirt and pants. They quickly burned up easily, revealing Arthur's Legion uniform underneath.
"Well, I'll be damned. Hold up one second." Superman quickly thrust himself toward "Bender" and got the pin.
After that match, the "Timebomb" went towards Superman's dressing room to gloat.
"Are you ready to lose to the Timebomb?" he asked.
"No, but I am ready to see what the Timebomb had planned."Superman replied.
"Whatever do you mean?"
"I'm not dumb. I saw what went on underneath the lights. Your friend 'Lawrence' disappearing, your friend 'D.S.' doing the same. In addition, I just burned off Arthur's outfit and found this on top of a different one." Superman handed "Timebomb" his friend's Legion utility belt.
"Now, do you mind explaining your story, Legionnaire?"
"Okay, Supes. The main story is this. My name's Shane Matzner. Me and my friends here are 4 members in good standing of the Legion of Super-Heroes. 'Lawrence' is called Time Warp, 'D.S.' is called Momentum, your buddy Arthur is called Bender, and I am called Boombastic. We just came down here so that I could fight you and Batman."
"But why would you do something like that?"
Shane went quiet for a second.
"I did it because I'm in love with your daughter."
"Excuse me? My daughter's only a couple days old!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. Your granddaughter."
"Exsqueeze me? I should hope I don't have one yet!"
Shane got his bearings. "Great-great-great-great-great granddaughter?"
"Now you're just being silly."
"No, just making time adjustments. As I just found out, you and Batman made a little...arrangement for your descendants in the 30th century to marry."
"Um, yeah..."
"It just so happens that one of the people in it is my girlfriend. On the plus side, you might be happy to know that she's a Legionnaire as well."
"That's awesome."
"Due to this, because we really don't want to go through with this, I had to come down here and fight you."
"I see."
"Now you can see why I don't want to kill you, but I'd fight to the death to defeat you. If I lose, the first girl I've ever really loved is taken away from me."
"Okay then. I'll see you in the ring."
Superman headed into the ring with his mind in a daze. How could that little jocular arrangement be made as real, and how did that guy intend to fight him?
Suddenly, Boombastic came into the ring.
The two squared off for a little bit. Superman tried to use some long-range attack by taking his heat vision out. Boombastic was visibly getting burned, but he walked through it just the same. He tried to punch Superman, but to no avail.
Superman punched Boombastic a little bit harder, sending him flying to the rafters. Boombastic took that in stride, caught himself using his flight ring, and went downwards in a quadruple Senton Bomb, landing right onto Superman's shoulders. He tried to roll him up for the pin, but he couldn't take him down.
Boombastic went airborne, hoping to get him on the ground. Superman just flew with him. Boombastic proceeded to grab his legs and go toward a piledriver position, sending them both to the mat. Boombastic was as shaken as Superman wasn't. He tried to get his bearings. Superman pummelled him immensely.
Boombastic saw his only chance was to go long-range. He quickly went with the only attack that he could think of. He got his finger into a gun position. He jammed that right next to his prosthetic arm.
"SMOKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!"Boombastic screamed.
In an instant, a Green Flame like no other that he had made before flew out. It was powerful enough to short the Arena scoreboard and burn most of the banners held by the Happy Harbor College Fighting Monks and the Happy Harbor Bears into cinders. However, Superman was unfazed.
Superman didn't know much about people who could hurt him, but he did know enough to know when he survived unscathed what virtually any other humanoid would have perished against. He had enough of a certainty to know that this was one of those times. He saw more about how this young kid wasn't like the other nameless thugs that he faced who wanted to loot and hurt people, then emptyed all their rounds in a vain attempt to shoot him. "Heck, he can't be a bad guy, I mean he's a Legionnaire. That's the purest sign of being a do-gooder in the 30th century." He looked into the stands. He saw Lois in the stands with their child. "Lois", he thought. "What would I be capable of if I had found out early on that she was promised to some guy?" He saw all of the fans in the stands who knew Superman to be the most noble institution of good in the world, without any secrets, without any scandals to his name.
He thought about all of these things and decided to do it.
He fell backwards.
Boombastic was visibly worried. "Dude, are you all right?" he asked.
"Pin me." Superman replied.
"What?"
"I said 'Pin me', dammit! I know what that belt and that ring signify. I'm certain you're telling the truth. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have my descendant be with than a guy like you. I mean, you're willing to fight me for her, right?"
Boombastic put his hand over him.
"1...2...3."
The match was over. The crowd was stunned. Boombastic had beaten the greatest super-hero of them all. Everyone left talking about the fight and how "that kid Timebomb" had just pulled off the hugest upset they've ever seen. The referee, Boombastic, and Superman knew what the real score was, but they decided to let them have that thought.
Epilogue: A few days later.
Clark Kent was just relaxing at home for a little break. The taste of the match had almost worn off. People were surprised he lost, but they still loved him as their hero. He was surprised when a girl showed up on his doorstep.He wasn't sure what her age was, couldn't be younger than 16, couldn't be older than 25.
"Clark Kent? THE Clark Kent? OH MY GAWD! I am like your biggest fan!" She exclaimed.
"How did you get my address?" He asked.
"White Pages."
"Um, would you like to come in?"
"Sure." She came in.
"Phew, now I can get this character off."
"What character?"
"You know. Screaming Teeny-bopper type. Actually, you won't believe it, but my name is Jocelyn Kent. I'm your great-great-great-great-great granddaughter."
"I can believe it. So, from the 30th century, eh?" he asked.
"Yep."
"I heard you're a Legionnaire. Is that true?"
"As true as possible. Thanks for that Kryptonian gene, by the by. It's saved my cute little butt more times than I know of."
"I figured about these things. I was just talking a few days ago with this guy who said he knows you. Boom Boom, Boombox...."
"Boombastic?"
"Yeah, that's it. Do you know him?"
"Just check out my flighter."
He looked at her ring. It was just a typical one, not unlike the other ones he had seen Legionnaires wear before.
Um, other one.
He saw one that appeared to be modified from them. Instead of a pure cut grain, he saw notches in a language the Legionnaires had told him was "Interlac." In addition, he saw a diamond-made "S" on the top instead of the "L" that traditionally went on them.
"Hmmm. Nice one. What does it mean? Sub? Superman?"
"Duh! It stands for 'Shane.'"
"Oh. I SEE."
"I figured, you made this happen, so you'd probably want to know that we're going to be wed."
"Sweet."
Jocelyn left, grabbed Boombastic and Time Warp, and vanished out of sight.
"Yep, I did that joke because I thought the criminals would need it..."Superman thought."I guess, why give them even more to worry about?"
The end.