Author's Note: Well here's what you asked for! Who gets to keep "Dr. _______'s Mental Sessions"? Who? Here are the auditions! Enjoy! ^_~
Dr. Trowa's Mental Sessions
Auditions
{Trowa is holding a clipboard and looks to be…happy. He looks up and smiles} Trowa: HI EVERYONE!
Audience: *silence*
Trowa: Oh, the only day when I'm being nice, you guys have to get all up in my face! Well WHO CARES ABOUT YOU ANYWAY!!!
Audience: YAY, TROWA!
Trowa: You should know why I'm happy. This is the day I decide who should take over my show! And we had some rather good responses. About 10 or so of them. Here's just a selected handful. *ahem* "am" says:
I VOTE FOR......???????.....WAIT A MINUTE......?????...TROWA!!!!!! YEP I WANT HIM TO HOST!!!!!!!I'M ALSO SORT OF MENTAL...MOST WHEN I DO MY FICS AT HOME!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA PS PUT WUFEI BACK IN CUZ THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!
Trowa: …Wufei? Oh heck no! Do you want him to kill me?
Audience: YEAH!!!
Trowa: The audience's job is to shut up, so do so!
Audience: *silence*
Trowa: Next, "Cat Missiga" says:
*I* think that ~2~ people should host the show. In other words, Trowa and a CO-HOST. May I suggest Mariemaya Khushrenada? I think THAT would be funny. I mean the two Bartons working together trying to make sense of insane people? that would be so cool
Trowa: …do you want me to get brutally killed? Unless a lot of people insist I stay, I'll stay. {turns to the camera} But…if you really want your beloved Trowa to live…just call-
Audience: SHUT UP!
Trowa: Uh, next! "^_^" says:
rofl! keep trowa! it just wouldn't be the same if he left!
Trowa: Why thank you- wait! WAIT A SECOND!!! THE MORE YOU SAY IT, THE MORE VOTES FOR ME!- NOO!!!! From now on, don't mention my name! Anyhow, next "Sword_Master" says:
Have Trowa continue his mental sessions. It is much funnier to see him get pissed off (and we dont see much of that, now do we?
Trowa: …you want me to get ticked off?! THAT'S NOT FUNNY…MAN!! WHEN I SEE WUFEI, I GET TICKED OFF! WHEN I TALK TO WUFEI, I GET TICKED OFF! WHEN I SMELL WUFEI'S UTTERLY DISGUSTING STENCH OF JUSTICE, I GET TICKED OFF!!! …But believe me, it's not pretty! …anyhow, next "Steve" says:
Have Trowa host it some more, this is pretty funny, so were the others, either Trowa or Duo
Trowa: Duo? You are mixing me up with hell here! HELLO! Can someone save me? I'm not properly employed! My gundam left me for a homeless bum, how do you think I feel? *sniffs* Anyhow, next "I dunno" says:
Very Very funny! I loved it, WUFEI SHOULD HOST IT I DUN CARE THAT HE'S NOT ON THE LIST, JUSTICE!!!
Trowa: Read my lips! NO MORE WUFEI! CHANT WITH ME HERE! NO MORE WUFEI! NO MORE WUFEI!…
Audience: *silence*
Trowa: …uh, next "Dr. C" says:
have heero host the show, and if u want ill be ur director.
Trowa: …Now listen to me, boy. Yes you. …Heero…needs…help. I need proper help. You see a difference. Heero is insane and needs help from an insured man! I need help, because Wufei and his "Justice" talk killed my director…next "Shinimegami Winner" says:
"Cuz the eyes of the ranger are upon you..." oh, sorry, ahem... I just couldn't help myself... This was sooo frickin' funny! I loved the Justice ranger stuff... poor Trowa, I can understand why he'd want to leave. Okay, on with the vote, I vote for Duo!!! That would be so hilarious... Heero'd be funny too... yeah, either one of them! Well, that's my opinion, get out the next part soon. Ciao!
Trowa: Duo! Yes! At least it's not me! Let's just indulge in this moment……………………alright! Next, "CLS" says:
Oooh, Let Heero run the show, pleese
Trowa: …Heero? Excuse me? …am I hearing properly? Can I hear? …let's just move on. Next and last, "~*~Lucky~*~" says:
Lucritzia Noin! She ROX! And she's not insane
Trowa: There's a sane onna for you…alright. Let's tally up the votes, highest gets to compete for my job and a co-host! The results of the vote are…after this break!
**************************
Trowa: Here are the results!
Heero - 3
Trowa - 6
Mariemeia - 1
Wufei - 1
Duo - 2
L. Noin - 1
Trowa: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I SHOULD STILL CONTINUE THIS?!
Director: People voted, sir!
Trowa: And my co-host is Heero? NO!
Director: Actually, Heero's your advisor and…
Trowa: And what?
Director: Wufei-
Trowa: NO!!!!!!! ANYONE BUT WUFEI! HE CAN'T BE MY-
Director: Co-host is-
Trowa: No…
Wufei: {barges in} I'm ready to sing my new song!
Trowa: …new…song?
Wufei: Listen closely-
Trowa: COMMERCIAL!
**************************
Trowa: I think we're safe!
Wufei: Not quite!
Trowa: Help…
(To any tune you can fit it in!)
Wufei: J-J-J-Justice! J-J-J-Justice! Justice is Wufei!
It's the new world order!
Gotta obey me now!
'Cause Wufei owns the colony!
Can't escape anyhow!
Once I get that Mental job
On Trowa's stupid show
I'll rule the world, I'll rule it all!
Wufei will never fall!
JUSTICE!
Is Wufei!
OBEY!
Wufei!
JUSTICE!
What rhymes with Wufei? Tray? Play? May? Yay?!
Unless. You. Obey…….
Wufei!
Audience: GO WUFEI!
Trowa: No! You're getting the chant wrong! It's NO MORE WUFEI!
Audience: *silence*
Wufei: So, did I get the job as a co-host?
Trowa: *sighs* yes-
Director: No!
Trowa: *grins* There's my ol' man!
Director: It's-
Trowa: Not yet! After the commercial!
**********************
Trowa: So who is it?
Director: Duo-
Trowa: …Wufei would've been a better choice.
Director: But Wufei hasn't had the training that Duo has! Duo learned to be boring, in control and solemn just like you, sir!
Trowa: …Y-I-P-E-E…
Duo: *walks in and sighs* …hi.
Director: You see? Now all you have to do is test him!
Trowa: We'll be back after this.
Director: But we just had a commercial break!
Trowa: Hum for awhile and press the dang button!
Director: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm *gasps for air* mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-
Trowa: Alright! I hear the commercial now!
Director: Hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-
Trowa: You can shut up now!!!!!!
*******************
Trowa: Alright, I'm back! And I'm with Duo. The new co-host. Luckily, he's not mental. Unluckily…I'm still stuck doing this stupid job! Oh well! Now, Duo. Present the new guest while I just step back.
Duo: Alright! Please welcome out next guest, Mariemeia Khushrenada-
Trowa: You said her last name!
Duo: Yes…
Trowa: It's a miracle!
Duo: *looks at Trowa* …alright. Should I pick a different guest?
Trowa: Yeah, from the list.
Duo: Alright! Please welcome…tea boy!
Trowa: Tea boy?
{Quatre comes out in a large fur coat and sits on the futon bed}
Quatre: I'm a star!
Trowa: That's true mentality! Now…go for it!
Duo: *sighs* Quatre, how do you feel?
Quatre: Like a star!
Duo: Do you have insurance?
Quatre: Star insurance!
Duo: Do you have a signature?
Quatre: Just like a star!
Duo: Okay, sign here! {gives the paper to Quatre}
Quatre: {signs it} Star, baby, yeah!
Duo: Alright. Trowa! Trowa! …Kitchen boy!
Trowa: Yes, Duo?
Duo: Glad you answer to your name, kitchen boy! Mail this! {hands him the letter}
Trowa: …what is this?
Duo: *whispers to Trowa*
Trowa: Oh! Quatre thank you for owning up to it! {runs to the mail box}
Duo: …alright.
Quatre: I'm a star!
Duo: …shut up…we'll be back after this!
***************
Duo: No more, Trowa! This show is mine! Let me present to you… DUO! A TRIBUTE TO DUO!! With performers you'll love! Like…WUFEI!
Audience: YAY!!!
Duo: WUFEI!!
Audience: YAY!!!
Duo: WUFEI!!
Audience: YAY!!!
Duo: And…HEERO!!
Audience: *silence*
Duo: Did I mention…WUFEI?
Audience: YAY!!!!!!
Duo: Alright shut up. Let's bring out…Wufei!
{Wufei comes out and starts marching and singing weakly and tiredly- To the tune of any tune you can fit it in}
Wufei: …Justice is nothing without our loved Shinigami
We'd all be dead! Heck! We'll be chopped into salami!
So except it now, Wufei is not the man!
Praise Duo, he's a god, he's our secondhand!
DU-O!
The world is not mine!
DU-O!
Not gonna rule it sometime!
DU-O!
We're all meant to die!
'Cause Shinigami's all in charge, the colony is not mine!
DU-O!
Duo is the justice!
…DUO!
{runs off stage}
Duo: Wonderful! Now please welcome…Heero!
{Heero comes out with a gun and starts to speak}
Heero: Omae o korosu…no…Shinigami will already do that…thank you. {leaves}
Duo: …anybody up for more Wufei?!
Audience: YAY!!!
Duo: Come on out…Wufei!
{Wufei comes out again}
Wufei: Leave me alone! {leaves}
Duo: ...maybe we should end the show?
Director: Before Trowa comes back! He's gonna be ticked!
Duo: Right! G'night everybody! I'll see you all next time!
***********************
DUO'S CAMPAIGN
Do you want Duo in charge?
Call the number on your screen, 1-800-VOTE DR DUO
Trowa: MAXWELL!!! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!!!! {charges after Duo}
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Review please?