By Amai
Disclaimer- Digimon and all it's characters are not copyright me, but copyright Toei Animation/Bandai (there probably are others, but I can't remember offhand). I wish they were, but sadly, not all wishes come true. The only thing that's copyright me is this fanfic, so no stealing, kiddies.
Author's Notes- I'm acutally not that happy with this one, it turned out shorter and not exactly what I wanted. Oh well. I hope you like it more than I do! Also, if you haven't you should read the first two of the "Field of Thoughts" series, Ken's Turmoil and Daisuke's Poem. I rather like how this is going, but I'm not really looking for my opinion- I'm looking for your's! Please Read and Review, you'll make me a very happy person.
Ken didn't feel like walking, but he was. He knew that it helped him think straight, uninfluenced by standby thoughts. He wanted his thoughts to always be in motion. Allowing one's mind to slow down to a standstill made it vulnerable for attacks of manipulation. As he had learned, too well from past experiences. But the downfall was that with your mind always in motion there was no way to stop it...to get an idea, to understand.
Life was like that. There was always something blocking your way to success. Success...Ken had always envied those who had made it there. He had never seen it before. To him, success was an imaginary term. One term he was determined to discover.
What was keeping him from his success? Everything. He didn't even know what his own success was anymore. Was it just to be a normal adolescent? Or was it...was it..
The same as always: Conquer and Control. He had always been that way, at least when he was the Digimon Kaizer and ever now. In fact...as much as he tried to push the Kaizer away before, he found that to keep his "sanity" he would still have to feed off of it.
He still was the same guy, after all.
Oh well. Or C'est la vie...as was so often said. Ken never understood that sentence. "That's life"? If that's life, then someone should change it. He would change it. After all, Ken Ichijouji always got what he wanted.
If only he knew what he wanted in the first place. Or why he couldn't have it.
Motomiya Daisuke. The name still ringed in his head. The boy was his, but he couldn't have him. There. The method of his madness.
Yes...he wished the answer to the question of his life was that simple. Simple like the one he desired.
Daisuke was simple, and complicated. He saw life like a soccer game, defeat the other team, or the "evil" to gain your goal, your success. A thought many leaders share. But what set Daisuke apart from the other leaders was the fact that it seemed that he wasn't only going for the goal. Motomiya wanted something else. Something far away that was out of his reach.
And it frustrated both Ken and Daisuke that he couldn't figure out what that "something" was.
"Complexity can be beautiful.", Ken blankly stated as he looked at the pair of goggles in his hands. He still had not given it to Daisuke, for fear of something.
Again, another something no one knew. It seemed life got that way when he reverted from his earlier state. It made him want to become the Kaizer again in a way. Maybe that was why he still held his former self so close to his mind.
He looked around. Well he'd be damned. It was the field again....he always seemed to unconsciously wander into that field. Field of his thoughts. Funny, a simple place like this harboring Ken's detailed and delicate thoughts.
Simplicity walked hand in hand with complexity.
That was a false statement. Because if it were true....why weren't Daisuke and him walking together?
Suddenly infuriated, Ken chucked the goggles ahead of him and crumpled to the ground. He held his face in his hands, but didn't cry.
"I don't understand what you want from me! Every time...", he gasped out, "...every time I find a little coherent information about life, it takes it away from me with another question...mocking me. I feel like such an idiot trying in vain to understand it!"
Idiocy. Simplicity. Even life was too complicated for the genius Ken Ichijouji.
And he was beginning to hate it for that.
Something passed his eye, a floating piece of paper in the wind. For no apparent reason, he reached for it and grasped it like it was his lifeline. He then stared at it, reading the words scrawled on it.
A foolish poem, written by a foolish person.
....Like him. Almost frantically, he began to search for the name of the author on the paper. But unfortunately whoever's name that was written on it had long faded away.
He cursed to himself and sighed. Whoever had written that knew him. Knew him without actually knowing him. Standing up, he realized that there was no reason to be angry. Not like that would even change a damn thing.
After all...c'est la vie, right?
It was getting late anyway, he was just wasting his time wandering in the empty soccer field of his mind. Or Daisuke's.
Besides, he had a letter to write...
—
Another wasted Saturday, is what Daisuke felt like screaming when he woke up. But he didn't want to disturb the sleeping chibimon on his stomach.
"DAISUKE! SOMETHING'S HERE FOR YOU!", Jun's screeching voice sounded through the house. And Daisuke and chibimon's ears. Not to mention everyone else's in the world.
Spoke too soon, Daisuke guessed as chibimon opened up one pleading eye.
"You and me too, chibi'....", Daisuke fell out of bed reluctantly and sleepily wandered to the kitchen where Jun was eating breakfast.
"Here.", his sister nonchalantly shoved a note towards him. He read,
"Dear Daisuke,
I have your goggles you left at soccer practice, but one of the glasses is broken so I have taken it upon myself to repair it. I will call you when it's done, which will probably be today.
Signed, Ken Ichijouji"
The outside world seemed to halt after that. It was heaven...not only would he have to go to the house of his love, he actually was repairing his goggles! Daisuke would have melted to the ground if Jun wasn't watching him like a hawk. Damn sisters.
"So what'd it say?", she inquired. Daisuke frowned and folded it up,
"None of your business.", she replied with sticking out her tongue,
"Brat. Not like I really care anyway.", she resumed eating her cereal. Daisuke retreated the room in solid composure, but as soon as he was far enough away from Jun he broke down in a little dance, grinning like a fool. He figured he probably was anyway. But like he even gave a damn.
Life doesn't get any better than this, does it?
Perhaps, as Hikari stated in her poem...that sun he yearned for was really meant for another someone...