Dedicated to Ben, for being the Harry to my Ginny, but mostly for
encouraging me to write. I love you.
who plays it cool
by making his world a little colder..."
"Hey Jude" - Beatles
"Potter!"
Harry jumped violently, but his awakening was due more to Hermione purposely digging the nib of her quill into his arm, and Ron kicking him from his other side. Ever since Ron and Hermione's hour-long disappearance on Christmas Eve morning, and Ron's unexplained cheerful mood for the rest of the day, Harry had deemed it safest to sit between his two friends in all their lessons.
Blinking, he looked up, only to be faced with Snape's most malevolent glare. The professor's lank black hair clashed startlingly with his sallow, greasy-looking skin, causing him to look
tragically similar an unwashed and uglier version of Wednesday Addams. Harry tried his hardest not to flinch, but failed miserably.
"I asked you a question, Potter. If you have listened carefully for the duration of this lesson, you should be able to tell me the answer easily," said the professor, smoothly. His black eyes glittered ominously. "Care to oblige?"
Harry groaned inwardly. When Snape berated a student without shouting, chances were he was not so much mad, but absolutely infuriated.
Racking his brains, he tried to remember the topic of the lesson before he had drifted off. He heard Hermione mutter something out of the corner of her mouth, but unfortunately Snape had overheard too.
"Five points from Gryffindor for not paying attention. And a further five, Miss Granger, for helping him." He smiled coldly, making Harry shiver.
A ragged cheer broke out from the assorted Slytherins in the dungeon. Hermione made to protest, but was immediately silenced by a look from Snape. By this time the students knew better than to protest against any of the unpredictable Potions master's undeniable bias toward his own
house, and his obvious dislike of any Gryffindor. Looking over his shoulder at the Slytherin
portion of the dungeon, Harry saw Draco Malfoy grinning idiotically and cheering as hard as any of the other Slytherins. Noticing Harry, the blonde boy raised an eyebrow, giving Harry a questioning look. Harry turned away, his mind filled with flashbacks of that strange morning the day before Christmas. At the time Draco had seemed to treat the whole thing as a bit of a joke. Looking back, it was rather funny, if not slightly twisted. Sneaking into a rival house's common room, seducing your sworn enemy and then leaving with a cryptic anecdote - it must have some purpose. But Harry didn't know what that purpose was. He was also confused about the mystery surrounding Ron and Hermione - they weren't treating each other any differently in public, but Harry had overheard Parvati and Lavender gossiping about the possibilities on more than one occasion. He made up his mind to question Ron as soon as possible.
The bell rang, and there was an instant rush to get out of the dungeon. Hermione
immediately disappeared down a corridor to the library, leaving Harry with Ron. Reaching the Gryffindor common room, Harry threw himself down on a spare chair in a quiet corner and sighed deeply.
"Bad day?" enquired Ginny, appearing from the other side of the room and dropping a magazine onto the table. "You look exhausted." She sat down in the chair next to Harry, shooting
an occasional small glance at him.
Harry glanced at Ron's younger sister from under his dark lashes, making Ginny blush to the roots of her flaming hair. "You could say that," he sighed, idly drumming the chair arm with his fingers. Harry couldn't help thinking that if Ginny knew what had happened a few weeks ago in this very room, she'd be blushing a lot more.
Ron came over to join the two, his face blank. Harry saw this as good a time as any to question Ron about the rumours he'd heard.
"Ron, I need to talk to you in private," he murmured, avoiding Ron's gaze.
"Go away, Ginny," said Ron immediately.
Ginny didn't respond verbally, but rolled her eyes before sloping off toward a small knot of third-year girls.
"What's up, Harry?" said Ron, settling into Ginny's vacated chair and looking concerned. "You've been a bit odd ever since Christmas. Is everything alright?"
"Yeah," lied Harry. He paused. "Actually . . ."
"What?" pressed Ron.
Quickly glancing to either side of him, Harry leaned closer. The common room was quite empty and it was easy to overhead other people's conversations.
"It's just that . . . well, at Christmas, Dr. . . - someone - said that you . . . erm, that you and Hermione were - together . . ."
Ron's eyes widened, and his face registered utter shock at Harry's statement. It
was a second or so before he came to, settling into a relaxed smile despite
flushing slightly.
"Me and Hermione? I couldn't! She's one of my best friends!" he babbled. "Where on earth would people get an idea like that?"
Because you were allegedly seen sneaking into an empty dormitory with her, thought Harry. But he didn't tell Ron that.
"OK, I was just wondering. You know how quickly rumours go around this school," he said, smiling broadly. Ron gave him a funny look.
"Let me guess. Lavender and Parvati?" he said, with a wry glance over at Parvati sitting near the window poring over Unfogging The Future. Hearing her name mentioned, she glanced up at the two boys and grinned cheekily.
"Ron?" she questioned flirtily, peering over the top of the thick tome. "What have I done now?"
"Where's your partner in crime today?" he replied. "And more to the point, what have you been saying about me?"
"Me?" the Indian girl cried, feigning innocence. "Gossip? Never..." She laughed. "I might have mentioned you in connection with somebody else, of course; that doesn't really count as talking about you though..."
"Yeah, right. Keep your mouth shut in future," he gently chided. Turning back to Harry, Ron noticed his friend staring blankly at nothing in particular.
"For God's sake, Harry, what's wrong? You're not on this planet today. Surely it's not just the Gryffindor Gossip Queen's weird ramblings getting you down."
Noting his friend's complete lack of reaction, Ron sighed and leaned closer to Harry. The common room had fallen quiet, and Parvati's ears were no doubt sharpened for any interesting anecdote.
"Harry... what is it? You've been weird since Christmas Day. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" He paused slightly to collect his thoughts, and carried on.
"Or you could talk to Hermione, girls are better at things like that, I think. Although Hermione probably isn't, she'd recommend going to the library."
"It's alright," lied Harry. "I'm just... tired, that's all. I'll be alright tomorrow. It's been a long day."
With that, he got up and slipped out of the portrait hole,
leaving a confused Ron staring after him.
"Right. Yeah. So . . . I've got to go up to our dormitory, I need to get some parchment . . ." he muttered, more to himself than Harry. Giving his friend one last nervous smile, he bolted toward the portrait hole, leaving a bewildered Harry staring after him.
Later that evening, Harry walked quickly along one of the many winding corridors. He'd been to Professor Flitwick's office after encountering a homework problem; it had been easily sorted out and Harry was looking forward to a relaxing hour or two before he went to bed.
As he walked by the entrance to the Great Hall, he felt a hand on his arm. Turning around, he came face to face with Draco.
Harry stared for a second and opened his mouth to protest, but was silenced by Draco putting a finger to his lips.
"Not here," the Slytherin boy muttered. Gripping Harry's wrist, he quickly pulled him further along the corridor into a small alcove. Before Harry even had time to protest, Draco turned to face his protégé.
"What the hell was that this afternoon?" he said, laughing. "I'd have thought you'd have known better by now than to not pay attention in Snape's lessons. He hates you, you know." He spoke the last words with relish, with knowing.
"I'd guessed that much," muttered Harry sarcastically. Noticing that Draco was still gripping his wrist, he pulled away roughly.
"What do you want? I wish you'd stop sneaking around behind me. I wish you'd just leave me alone."
Draco's face was expressionless. In the semi-darkness, Harry could see the other boy's eyes shining coldly. His ice-blonde hair fell across his forehead, making him look vulnerable.
But he's not vulnerable, Harry thought to himself. He knows
exactly what he's up to.
Draco interrupted, breaking Harry's thoughts. "Convince yourself all that you want, Harry. I find that hard to believe. You weren't sure at first; but then you began to enjoy yourself. You slid your hands through my hair. You kissed me back. You wanted
more." The traces of a faint, amused smile were just visible in the shadowy alcove.
"I flatter myself that I know when someone's enjoying theirself in such a
manner."
Harry snapped at his insolence, hating Draco for his cocksureness, but also
hating himself for allowing Draco's assumptions to be accurate. "You don't know. You don't know anything," he hissed, his green eyes alight with rage. Draco took a step back. Harry continued. "As far as I'm concerned, nothing ever happened that morning. Nothing."
Draco's face was blank. Breathing hard, Harry continued. His voice was steady, despite his
anger and nervousness.
"I hate you, Malfoy. I positively loathe you. So don't ever say that I enjoyed what happened. As far as I'm concerned, it's abuse. The only reason I'm not going to complain is 'cause I just want to forget it ever happened. OK?"
This wasn't strictly true, but a deep-rooted pride prevented
Harry from admitting the truth to Draco. He defiantly stared back, hoping his
face wasn't giving away any shred of truth.
For a few moments, there was near silence. Harry could hear the faint wisps of Draco's breathing. When Draco started to speak, his voice had a definite disturbing edge to it that unsettled Harry greatly.
"Alright, I believe you," he said, dismissively. "This'll just be our little secret then, Potter. Our little secret."
He smiled, and for a split second reminded Harry of Professor Snape. Then he turned and left the alcove, his black robes billowing around his legs.
Harry stood for a second in the darkness, his eyes closed, trying to get his head around what Malfoy had just said. Running a hand through his unruly hair and straightening his glasses, he walked back into the corridor, heading in the opposite direction to Malfoy.
* * *