Author's Note: Another episode of Trowa! What is the world coming to? First Wufei, then me? Either the world was a wreck...or it still is. Nevertheless...enjoy.
Dr. Trowa's Mental Sessions
Episode #8
{Quatre is beaming, drinking tea sitting in Trowa's chair. Duo is beside him}
Quatre: Good morning everyone!
{silence}
Quatre: Trowa's not here.
Duo: No dang duh!
Quatre: So I get to control the show!
Duo: It's all here in the schedule! {hands Quatre a paper} First you have to-
Quatre: LET WUFEI SING A SONG?! ...uh, no!
Duo: I agree, but Trowa and the director have gotten quite fond of Wufei's nonsense making songs.
Quatre: How horrible.
Duo: So here's Wufei, with an old karaoke hit! It's the new theme song for Justice Ranger 2!
Audience: NOT ANOTHER JUSTICE RANGER!!!
Duo: Yes, for all of you who thought the torture was over! I did too! But he has to come back! We're actually paying him!!
Quatre: Or so he thinks. {grins; sighs} Here's Wufei...
{Wufei comes marching out; To the tune of any tune you can fit it in}
Wufei: Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Audience: YAY!!!
Wufei: This song also on my album! Out in stores, out in-
Duo: GET OFF THE STAGE!!! {throws Quatre's tea at him}
Quatre: ...my tea...
Duo: Get over it. We have to go to a commercial!
Quatre: ...comm...commm...roll it...
*************
Quatre: {gulps down tea} Well, now we'll get down to some more of those pathetic videos.
Duo: Yeah. And who's more pathetic than Relena?
Quatre: Wufei.
Duo: True, very true. But, we have to see Relena's video anyway. {sighs} here it is. That...yeah.
***
{screen begins as Relena is getting an X-Ray}
Dr.: Alright, the developed pictures of your brain are in.
Relena: What do they show?
Dr.: That...well, Miss Relena, we've searched!
Relena: I know, I know. I-
Dr.: You...don't have a brain...
{screen fades}
***
Duo: I knew it! I knew it was true! Quatre, you owe me 5!
Quatre: {hands him 5 dollars} But, Duo, everyone has a brain.
Duo: Maybe so, but SHE doesn't use hers.
Quatre: But-
Duo: And besides, those were test results! You can't prove a test wrong!
Quatre: It's impossible that-
Duo: No it's not! Maybe someone just got first dibs on the last brain, leaving her brainless.
Quatre: {sighs} Let's take a look at...uh...Noin's video. Then right after, we'll look at Lady Une's video.
Duo: Roll 'em!
***
{scene begins as L.Noin is flipping a gun in her hand}
Cameraman: ...feeling suicidal today?
L. Noin: Nope. I've just realized what a jerk Trowa is for making me believe his stupid treatments could actually work!
Cameraman: Think positive thoughts. What's good about Trowa?
L. Noin: ...I'm getting paid to answer this, right?
Cameraman: No.
L. Noin: Then get away! Trowa couldn't be popular, cool, or FASHIONABLE if his pathetic stupid life depends on it! Good thing it doesn't!!
Cameraman: ...we'll end this now.
{screen fades}
***
{scene begins as Lady Une is holding a gun up to her head}
Cameraman: Uh...Lady Une?-
Lady Une: And I love momma and pappa, and nanna,gran-nanny. And gran-mamma and make sure she takes care of my guns and rifles and stuff and that she puts cake on my grave every month, and new guns and bullets, and rifles and...GOODBYE! {shoots herself}
{screen fades}
***
Duo: Pointless?
Quatre: Very.
Duo: Commercial?
Quatre: Definitely.
*********
Duo: Can we just quit with the videos?
Quatre: I think that's all anywayz. Oh yeah, and the reason we didn't show our videos are-
Duo: We didn't make any!
Quatre: Y-Yeah!
{silence...}
Director: liars. Let's see 'em!
Duo: No! I beg you!
Quatre: I'll pay you!
Duo: I'll sue you! I'll-
Director: Roll 'em!
***
{scene begins as Duo is sitting in his apartment; flipping channels}
Cameraman: Hey Duo! Could you tell us how it feels to be on Trowa's show?
Duo: Sucks.
Cameraman: Oh.
{silence...}
Cameraman: So...what's on?
Duo: Rugrats.
Cameraman: Anything else?
Duo: Nope.
Cameraman: Why?
Duo: Because!
Cameraman: Because why?
Duo: Because I haven't paid my TV bills for 3 years.
Cameraman: ...oh.
Duo: Okay, can you leave now?
Cameraman: Gotcha!
***
{scene begins as Quatre is viewing the world from space}
Quatre: The world, is such a beautiful place!
Cameraman: ...riiiight...
Quatre: Filled with happy people, peace and love, justice and-
Cameraman: You were a former hippie, weren't you?
Quatre: No. {crosses his fingers behind back}
Cameraman: So you got the job on Trowa's show. How does it feel?
Quatre: Okay.
Cameraman: ...okay.
Quatre: ...
Cameraman: ...
Quatre: ...
Cameraman: ...
Quatre: ...
Cameraman: .-
Quatre: Bye.
Cameraman: Yeah...right.
***
Duo: I am so gonna sue!!
Quatre: {snickers} So how was the latest episode of RUGRATS, Duo?
Duo: I want you to SHUT UP as soon as possible!
Quatre: Uh...commercial.
***
Duo: Well a shocking surprise is...Trowa succeeded!
Quatre: Yes, this is the last episode of the show!
Duo: Then why the hell is Wufei making another season of Justice Ranger?
Quatre: Because we're airing them right now. Take a look! All 6 episodes of Justice Ranger 2!
Duo: {dull voice} 6. Wow. That's a big improvement from 5!!!
Quatre: {beams} I know! Non-stop episodes! No credits at all!! Roll it!
*********
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out from nowhere and pretends he's a Power Ranger, with this dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 1...THE CAR...
{scene begins in the Justice Headquarters}
Dr. Justice: Wufei, you need a car.
Wufei: Okay.
{Dr. Justice shows him a red mustang convertible}
Wufei: {grins at the camera}
THE END!
***
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out of nowhere and poses like a Power ranger with a dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 2...THE HOLIDAY...
{scene begins as Dr. Justice and Wufei are fighting crime for the sake of Hannukah!}
Wufei: But we're not jewish.
Dr. Justice: Right!
{both leave-}
Wufei: {stops; grins at the camera}
THE END!
***
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out of nowhere and poses like a Power ranger with a dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 3...THE EVIL INSIDE THE CHEESE...
{scene begins as Wufei is eating breakfast}
Wufei: {plugs his nose} What's that stench? The cheese!! {runs over to it} JUSTICE!!
{cheese magically floats out the window}
Wufei: {grins at camera}
THE END!
***
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out of nowhere and poses like a Power ranger with a dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 4...THE MEDALS
{scene begins as Wufei is running a marathon}
Evil man: {cuts in front of Wufei}
Wufei: JUSTICE!
Evil man: {falls dead}
Wufei: {smirks at camera}
THE END!
***
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out of nowhere and poses like a Power ranger with a dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 5...POOR WUFEI...
{scene begins as Wufei is watching Saved by the Bell-- THE OLD CLASS-- strapped to a chair}
Wufei: What kind of injustice person would do this?
Evil man 2: Me!
Wufei: Justice!
Evil man 2: {falls dead}
Wufei: {grins at camera}
THE END!
***
Justice Crimes and unjustice people!
Living in an unjustice land!
There can only be one ranger,
Who can help them understand!
JUSTICE RANGER!
Oh, I know, I know, I know, I know...
JUSTICE LAND!
I will be there for Justice, too!
No crime can escape me, even if tis not a crime
So brace yourselves, duck for cover!
'Cause now it's Justice Ranger's time!
Stupid voice: It's Justice Ranger 2!! Starring Wufei Chang as Wufei Chang the Justice Ranger! {Wufei jumps out of nowhere and poses like a Power ranger with a dorky grin on his face}
Narrator: EPISODE 6...THE SEASON FINALE AGAIN...
{scene begins}
Dr. Justice: Wufei, you honor us. Take this medal and go far away! Do great things in the power of justice!
Wufei: Thank you. {grins at camera}
THE END!
***********
Duo: Sucked.
Quatre: Yeah.
Duo: Did you know there's really a Justice Ranger 1 to a Justice Ranger 20?
Quatre: No duh. Wufei's stupid episodes hardly have a plot!
Duo: Hardly?
Quatre: Yeah, well. That was just a dose of comedy-
Duo: Pure comedy!
Quatre: Yeah. Well...good bye everyone!
Duo: Good Luck & Good bye!
Quatre: ...yeah.
*************
THAT'S IT! Hope you liked it! If you did review, tell me what you liked. And also, be thankful there's no more Justice Ranger!!! (Ah, YES!!)