Veritas 15
You people – you make me feel to guilty not to get these up. But this is as far as I got over Thanksgiving, and I'm booked solid until the weekend. I know, I know – I always say that. Trust me on this one…I've made it too complicated now to just pound through it. So, as Cervantes wrote – Patience! And shuffle the cards!
This is the set up for the climax – we are getting near an end to this. A few more cards need to be tipped first…
***
Sirius felt himself being shaken awake. He tried to open his eyes, but they felt so heavy…. He finally opened one bleary eye and could just make out Katie standing next to the bed.
"Sirius? Wake up now. You need to drink your potion. Come on, don't make me do something unpleasant."
Sirius sat up with a groan. His whole body tingled and it felt like he had silt in his veins.
"Katie," he croaked out, "what's wrong with me?"
Katie smiled as she handed him another dose of the foul potion she'd given him last night and helped him drink it.
"You've been given a very powerful sleeping curse. Its very old and very nasty. Banned actually. But every now and again it shows up. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to treat you like you have a concussion for a few days and wake you up periodically, just to make sure the antidote is taking hold."
Sirius sighed and lay back against his pillows, rubbing his eyes.
"Why am I so lucky that you recognised this?"
Katie smiled, pouring him a glass of apple juice. "Drink. You're also going to be rather dehydrated."
"That I noticed. Thank you, this is much better."
"I've been looking more into the dark arts and counteracting some of the nastier spells for about two years now…"
Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Hmmm. Coincidence that it's coming up on two years that you and Remus…." He trailed off with a grin, downing the second glass of juice.
"Not a bit and you know it. Good thing I am looking out for you both, isn't it?"
Sirius just winked at her, and she gave a shy grin.
"Life is never dull with a marauder about, Mrs. Lupin. And with two of us, well, what can I say? So, give me the story on what's wrong with me."
"Who says there's any more to it than what I said?"
Sirius laughed and patted her on the cheek with his good arm. "Because, Mrs. Lupin, you like your husband, are a history buff. There is never anything without a story and a lesson in it. I'm a captive audience at the moment, and I really would be interested to know. So?"
Katie sat down on the bed next to him, tucking her legs up under her and leaning on one hand.
"Alright, here it is. You know the muggle version of Merlin's life and death?"
"Vaguely. Never understood why they thought he was a contemporary of Arthur."
"In their version of those events, he ends up getting sealed in a tomb after being enchanted by a dark sorceress. But she didn't kill him, she put him in an enchanted sleep."
Sirius laughed. "Rather unsporting of her. But why not just kill him? Or is this one of those odd women things you understand but I will never hope to comprehend."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know, one of those little mysteries you and Liz roll your eyes at when Remus and I are stumped. 'Oh Sirius, of course she sealed him in the tomb! How can you not understand why'?"
Katie tried to give him a disgusted look but ended up giggling instead. "We do not, by any stretch of the imagination, sound like that. Very unflattering. Who knows why the woman did what she did; people go nutters everyday, don't they? But here's the fact it's based on. A contemporary of Merlin's was poisoned by a dark witch with an extremely powerful sleeping draft, and she sealed him up inside a wall. The man literally vanished until someone found him 130 years later."
Sirius let out a low whistle. "That must have been a bit of a shock for him."
"Well, not for long. He may have been asleep, but he was still a functioning human being. And aging. The spell kept him from actually dying, though it probably couldn't have lasted much longer. He died a few days later of old age, his life gone."
"Ugh. Do you always have such pleasant stories for your patients? Why do I suspect Remus sees a much different bedside manner from you?"
"You want to spar with me, or do you want me to finish explaining what Pembroke did?"
"I'll hear more about Pembroke, thank you."
"Nobody ever proved who did it, unfortunately, but they did figure out, from the brief conversation they had with the man before he died, how it was accomplished. Whoever cast the spell did it by cursing Merlin's dog, which bit the man, making him fall asleep. As you know, it's dark and tricky business cursing one object using another, especially something alive. Needless to say, people were intrigued at the concept. This little spell you've managed to be cursed by was perfected in the 15th century, a variation on the original. It was used by wizards to enchant their guard dogs. It was also banned later for obvious reasons."
Sirius sighed. "Cursed by a bite. Why does that sound familiar?"
Katie gave him a very dark look.
"Katie-girl, I'm kidding. You know I don't, for a moment, take what happened to Remus lightly at all."
"I know you joke about it with Remus, but don't joke about it with me. Understood?"
"Yes. Sorry. So, when will I get over this?"
Katie stood up and went to open the curtains on the window. "Here's the fact; we know how to counter the spell, but it takes a long time to break it."
Sirius frowned at her. "How long?"
"About three months."
"What?"
Katie walked back over and took his hand. "No big deal, Sirius. You just have to drink the antidote everyday, and you'll never feel a thing. There are worse things, you know."
"And if I don't drink that disgusting concoction? Can this kill me?"
Katie looked at him very evenly. "Yes, Sirius, it will kill you. And it won't be a pleasant death. It attacks your nervous system and causes you to shut down slowly. You will sleep, mostly, but you will wake up from time to time, aware of what is happening to you. But once it gets a foothold, it is almost impossible to stop."
Sirius thought about this, then gave a huff. "I guess now I know why this was banned," he grumbled.
Katie laughed quietly and gave his hand a squeeze. "I think we got you back here fast enough. The books say that even patients who did not start to receive treatment for almost a full day after they were bit made a full recovery. So I think we're alright on that. A skipped dose now and again won't be fatal, but it will make you drowsy. So let's you and me just make a deal to make sure between now and the end of May you drink your antidote dutifully everyday, and we won't have any fights."
"Deal, Katie-girl."
Katie picked up the empty glass and goblet in one hand and the pitcher of apple juice in the other. "You should get up now, and you shouldn't sleep again for the rest of the day. I want to see how you feel. Let me know if you start to feel particularly drowsy or numb, okay?"
"Okay. Um, Katie? Where's Liz?"
Katie gave a small smile. "She went for a walk. She's pretty shaken up by what happened, but I think she's more frustrated that you and Remus might think she's not up to it."
"You must be joking. She was great! Not a flinch. She did….she got very upset at the end of it all, but only after we got outside. I think she was mostly angry with me. She, um, finally met Padfoot."
Katie nodded. "So I heard."
"Did that surprise her? Did she say anything? Is she mad that I kept this from her."
"I don't think so. I did tell her the story of why and how it all happened at breakfast. She seemed more touched than anything, just like I was when Remus told me. As for you keeping it a secret? She understands what you're going through, perhaps more than you realise. But she's a pretty stoic individual. I think that makes her a good anchor for you. But you need to be careful to remember that she doesn't think like you do, and she doesn't react to things like you do. You're projecting a lot of yourself onto her, I can tell."
"How's that?"
Katie smiled and shook her head. "Sirius, the one thing you hate, more than anything, is people lying to you or holding things back from you. You've been reluctant to share this with her for a good reason, but all you feel is that you're betraying her. She does not feel at all betrayed, in any way. Keep that in mind."
Sirius nodded.
"Good. Now get up and take a shower. You'll feel much better. Come down for something to eat when you're ready."
Cleaning up did clear his head a little, and he went downstairs to get some late breakfast. Sirius came down the front stairs and started for the kitchen, but then he heard the unmistakable sounds of Malcolm babbling at something in the front room so he went in there instead.
Remus was sitting on the couch, still wearing his pyjamas and a robe, feet propped up on the table. He looked awful at first glance. Unshaven, hair uncombed, pale, dark shadows under his eyes; but he was smiling happily sitting there with Malcolm on his lap, propped up against his chest. Malcolm was all smiles and was staring avidly at a book Remus held in one hand.
Sirius grinned at Remus when he looked up and caught his eye. "Moony, you look like hell."
"Thank you," said Remus in an even and amused tone. "I could honestly care less. How are you feeling?"
"Groggy, but relieved to have woken up. Did your wife explain to you what that dog did? Nasty." Sirius walked over and dropped down on the couch next to Remus, putting his feet on the table as well and grinning at Malcolm as he turned to look at him. Malcolm looked a little nonplussed at his arrival and quickly turned his attention back to whatever book Remus was holding.
"Well, that's a fine good morning, Malcolm. What are we reading then? 'Basic Book of Spells Level One'? 'History of Arithmancy'? 'Bottersnikes and Gumbles'?"
"Certainly not. We are far to engrossed in 'An Animal Alphabet.'" Remus held up the child's book for Sirius to see. Sirius chuckled and threw his good arm over the back of the couch and settled back.
"Oh, very nice. Please continue. Where are we?"
"L for lemur." Remus held the book up for Malcolm to look at. He smiled, but ignored the book to grab at Remus' hand instead.
"I don't know, Malcolm, that looks like a monkey to me."
"Sirius, that is a ring-tailed lemur."
"This comes with a teacher's edition?"
Remus gave him a kick on the ankle and went back to the book, giving Malcolm his other hand to grab so he could turn the page.
"M for…"
"Moony?"
"Mongoose. Look at the picture Sirius, that will make it easier if you can't make out the letters."
Remus went back to the book as Malcolm delivered it a swift punch so he'd get on with it.
"Impatient, isn't he?"
"Well, he didn't have to put up with these distractions until you wandered in."
Sirius gave Malcolm a small pat on the cheek. "Malcolm, learning to share is very important."
"Shush. N is for Narwhal." Remus raised an expectant eyebrow at Sirius. Sirius just stared back and said nothing.
"O is for Ocelot."
"Are we sure this isn't 'An Obscure Animal Alphabet?"
"P is for…."
"Padfoot!"
Sirius stood up and turned to face Remus and Malcolm. Then, with a smile at Malcolm to get his attention, he transformed. Unfortunately in his animagus form he couldn't laugh at Malcolm's expression as he did this, but Remus did, putting the book down and reaching out to pat Sirius on the head.
"Very nice. P for Padfoot, Malcolm, what do you think?"
Malcolm eyed Padfoot suspiciously, but finally reached forward to touch his muzzle hesitantly.
"Oh, Malcolm. It's not that bad, surely? Looks like a nice doggy to me."
Sirius turned quickly to see Liz standing in the doorway, obviously amused by this rather unusual domestic moment. At least she's smiling and we're in the same room…. Sirius padded over to her, wagging his tail. She stared at him, still with a faint smile, shaking her head. When he reached her, Sirius transformed back and stood close to her.
"How are you?", he asked quietly.
She did smile at him now. "Tired. But it certainly looks like I'm doing better than you two."
Sirius said nothing for a while, then finally winked at her. "So, am I in the dog house?"
Remus groaned. Liz rolled her eyes. "Not your best effort, Sirius."
He gave a sad smile. "Sorry. Forgive me. I'm a little distracted thinking that you might never speak to me again."
Liz shook her head. "Whatever for?"
Sirius looked quickly over his shoulder at Remus and Malcolm, then grabbed her hand and took her out into the front hall.
"For a little bit of everything I guess. I should have told you about Padfoot a long time ago. You have to understand, I just…."
"Sirius, I am not upset about that. Maybe startled, but it somehow seems appropriate for you. And that dog is rather lovely."
Sirius shook his head, starting to loose his voice a bit as he struggled with everything. "Liz, you were so upset yesterday…."
Liz gave a humourless laugh. "Sirius, what happened yesterday was very stressful. I wasn't upset with you. I'm not ….." she stopped.
Sirius looked at her quietly. "You are upset with me."
"Not how you think. Its not even you, really, but…."
Sirius leaned back against the front hall table and rubbed his face in his hands, not wanting to look at her anymore. He could feel how upset she really was, and how she was struggling to hide it. She gave no indication that she was going to complete her thought, instead she just stood there next to him, arms wrapped tightly around herself, shaking her head with a sad expression. He couldn't stand it; he moved quickly to open the front door, but she reached a hand to stop him.
"You don't understand."
Sirius fought very hard to keep control. He had finally ruined everything, and ….and what? What did you have to ruin in the first place? The notion that this wretched nightmare would really end?
"Liz, it's okay. I understand. I've never been the easiest or most reliable person to know."
"Don't do this. Don't distance yourself from me with words. Neither of us are ninnies. The fact is that you reminded me just a little too much of Brian yesterday. I told you once that you'd have liked him. I guess now I see just how alike you really are. And I was mad at myself, because I couldn't fathom why I'd put myself through all that again. That being with you would be nothing but a lifetime of worry that one day you wouldn't come home either. And worse…and worse you didn't come home because you snuck off to do something I'd made you promise not to do. Some spirits simply cannot be contained. And not all of us can take that fact."
Sirius said nothing for a long while, but just stood there, absently wringing his shirttail in his hands. Finally, he took a deep breath and took a step closer to her, crossing his arms in front of him so he would stop fidgeting with his hands.
"Liz, I would never do something I had promised you I wouldn't. I don't always think things through; but when I stop to think, I no longer trust myself to do something just because I am firmly convinced it is right. The man I was probably would break such a promise, if he thought the promise wasn't as important as what he felt. But the truth is I am no longer that man. And I think I have learned the lessons I had to because of who I was. The price I paid was too great not to. So I will promise you, right now, and without question, that I will never keep another secret from you and that I will never go against your wishes. And if it is your wish that we… give up any hope that someday we can be together, for whatever reason you feel, then so be it."
Liz did not move as he said this. When he finished, she remained silent for a long time, just looking at him. He could tell by her expression that something was up, but he couldn't tell what she was thinking. Finally, she looked away.
"Sirius, I need to think about a few things."
Sirius felt his heart break at that, but he nodded and said nothing.
"I'll see you later." She moved past him and out the front door, closing it softly behind her.
***
Hedwig flew into Sirius' study that afternoon with a very brief note from Harry, Ron and Hermione asking if everyone was well. Sirius leaned his head in his hands and sighed. He'd completely forgotten to send a message, and so apparently had everyone else. Remus was asleep again in his study with Malcolm curled up with him. Sirius, who still felt sick and exhausted, was rather bitter that Remus could sleep when he was not allowed to. But Katie was very strict about keeping an eye on him, promising that if everything looked okay by Monday, she'd let him relax.
Sirius absently stroked Hedwig's head while he leaned back in his chair and nearer to the fire. He'd felt particularly cold since Liz had left. She had not shown up at lunchtime and Sirius noticed that Remus and Katie said nothing about it. Gods, what a mess.
He grabbed a quill and started to write to Harry.
Harry-
A lot has happened. Everyone is okay, only a few burns and bruises. I was bit by a dog as well. And Liz knows all about Padfoot now.
Sirius stopped. I don't want to send Harry some stupid letter; I need to see him….I finally need to just put everything to rest. I'm so damn tired of this…
He jumped as someone knocked on his door.
"Yes?"
Katie stuck her head around the door. "Sirius, Albus and Dexter just got here, and asked to speak with you and Remus immediately. Are you up to it?"
"Of course, Katie," he said in an irritable tone. Sorry, Katie-girl, but I'm not up to being coddled by anyone, even you.
"Then you'd better get your sorry ass out of that chair and into the front room."
Sirius looked up quickly at her, instantly apologetic for his snapping at her. "Yes, I guess I'd better, Mrs. Lupin."
Katie stood there as he stood up and walked over to stand next to her.
"Sirius, I will always give you the space you need to heal, but I will never let you curl up and die. Sorry, but I'm just not like that. Remus said that you and Liz had a rather tense conversation. I'm sorry for that, but that's what happens sometimes. Goodness knows Remus and I have a few tight discussions."
Sirius shook his head.
"It's not the same. Even when you two get a little worked up, there is no doubt whatsoever that you love each other, and that your going to…." He stopped for a moment. Then, shaking his head, he continued. "Katie, we've no time for this right now. It seems more than a little self-indulgent and does nothing to solve our current problems."
Katie gave Sirius a sad smile.
"So what?"
They walked into the front room. Remus was sitting by the fire, still looking exhausted, but at least his hair was combed and he'd put on a thick wool sweater and some trousers. Dexter Tanner was smiling from ear to ear, obviously still happy over getting his hands on Pembroke. Dumbledore seemed more subdued but still smiled at Sirius.
"Well, Sirius, a very interesting evening for you. I understand your motivations for bringing Pembroke back with you, however we cannot hold him for long. We must decide …."
"I think we have a nice sound case of attempted murder against him."
Dumbledore shook his head.
"How could we bring such a case to trial? Stand in a court of law and say that Mrs. Godine and Remus were openly consorting with a convicted murderer, and broke into a house? I should think that the evidence might support Pembroke pressing charges against you, instead."
Dexter winked at Sirius.
"Did you really throw him out of the window like he claims you did?"
Sirius nodded grimly and sat down on the couch next to Dumbledore.
"Any word on Draco?", asked Remus.
"Young Mr. Malfoy seems to be, at the moment, free from any suspicion in what happened. But I have asked Severus to particularly look out for him. Lucius may not suspect his son, but others might, and would, I fear, harm the boy."
Sirius was puzzled at this. "Why would suspicion fall on Draco to begin with?"
"Draco is already suspected of not having 'pure' thoughts. Although his father avidly believes that Draco did in fact have nothing to do with your escape from the house last year, some were suspicions. But nothing was said openly, of course, for fear of Lucius' retaliation. Now we have another failure linked to Draco. It would appear that Lucius bragged about his son getting the better of Mr. Potter."
Sirius frowned into the fire. "So where have you got Pembroke?"
Dexter chuckled. "Somewhere he'd just die if he knew. He's in one of the secret rooms at Hogwarts. The Death Eaters wouldn't dream we'd do something like that. Especially with school in session."
Dumbldore's smile faded and he looked at Sirius and Remus steadily. "We need to determine what we are to do with Mr. Pembroke Black."
Sirius shrugged. "Memory charm should work."
"Perhaps. But his comrades are certainly powerful enough to break that."
Sirius got up to start pacing in front of the windows. "What I don't get in this is what Pembroke was doing there anyway. He was no Death Eater when … last time. I'm sure of it. Pembroke was a lot of things, but he never would have had the guts to stand up against my father and my uncle."
Dumbledore gave Remus a long look, and Remus shook his head. Sirius did not like this exchange at all.
"What am I not being told now?"
"Sirius…."
"Remus, what is it? Did you suspect Pembroke back then? You can't have! You just said to me yesterday…."
Remus held up a hand to stop him. "And I meant it. I never suspected Pembroke. But some things happened while you were Azkaban that made no sense at the time. Now, they do. We are hoping that we will be able to…prevent Pembroke from ever returning to the Death Eaters."
"Sirius," said Dumbledore in the sombre tone he used only when discussing very grave or important issues, "You know your parents passed while you were in prison."
Sirius nodded.
"Surely you must have realised, dear boy, that they did not pass from natural causes. Not so young." Dumbledore said this very quietly and with great compassion. He held Sirius' gaze evenly, but Sirius had to look away. Yes, that occurred to me, but I couldn't bear to think about it. They didn't deserve it, despite everything we ever disagreed on.
Dumbledore continued his voice still slow and quiet, "Your father died about a year after you were imprisoned under suspicious circumstances. A number of people believed that he may have died from his own hand…."
Sirius heard an odd noise in his throat as Dumbledore said this. My father? Were they insane? He'd be the last to give up so easily. No matter what I had done…..
"…because of the shame he felt over what had happened with you, his only child. Most believed that he had been killed by Death Eaters, as a last revenge for his activities against Voldemort and his position as an auror. But there was never any proof. The only individuals who had been anywhere near him at the time of his death seemed beyond reproach in the matter, so no questions were asked."
Sirius gave a snarl. "Oh of course not. Another fine example of justice in our community. Assume guilty, assume innocent. It's all so arbitrary, isn't it? How did he die?"
"He died from a very powerful sleeping draft. One made with dark magic."
Sirius started at Dumbledore. "What about my mother?", he asked very quietly after a few moments.
"She died a few months after your father. She wasted away, really. Everyone assumed that the loss of your father, on top of your conviction, was too much for her to bear. But looking back, I would suspect that what in fact was happening was that she was slowly being poisoned herself. Now, maybe she also did this of her own accord. But I remember your parents well, Sirius, still. I cannot imagine either of them doing such a thing. Your mother was the captain of the Gryffindor Quiddich team for a reason. She was one of the strongest people I ever knew. A quality you inherited from her. I knew the moment I saw you standing there your first day at Hogwarts, waiting to be sorted, that you were a Gryffindor like your mother, not a Ravenclaw. I have always been saddened to feel that they were in fact murdered, but nothing ever came of the suspicions. But now, I think, we have something more substantial than suspicions."
"Pembroke."
"Pembroke indeed. The spell used on you is not common at all. Very few wizards would know how to do it. So, using it is a bit of a signature."
Sirius was pacing now. He wasn't sure how he felt about all of this; he did not like his parents, and they never seemed to do much other than despair of him. But the idea that they had been killed, and in such a cowardly fashion, by Pembroke was making him see red. Remus suddenly stopped him.
"Sirius, there are a lot of odd coincidences here. We need to be very careful how we proceed. If we can in fact prove that Pembroke killed your parents, he will go directly to Azkaban. But that's a big if."
Sirius nodded.
"And we still have the issue of that house. I suspect that they will abandon it after discovering what happened, realising that they were set up. But I still want to know exactly what they were doing there, and Pembroke is the only chance for that."
"Just give him some truth serum, we'll know exactly what happened."
Dumbledore stood himself now. "There is one final issue to consider. Pembroke undoubtedly has an invaluable knowledge of Death Eater activities. He must be highly trusted to have been the only one left to guard the house in the woods."
Sirius felt himself gawking at Dumbledore. "You think you can make him turn?"
Dumbledore shook his head. "No. But I think we might convince his comrades that he has. And this would make life much simpler for Draco. We suspect Pembroke of killing your parents. But we are the first to do so. The Death Eaters will not be suspicious. Perhaps, however, being unaware of this murderous animosity between your families, they might be led to believe that Mr. Black is in fact sympathetic with Mr. Black. After all, Pembroke was at the Christmas party, both before and after your capture. Pembroke is unaccounted for, and Malfoy's spell circle has been destroyed after Sirius double-crossed him. I think that Malfoy, receiving word that both Black cousins have been spotted in each other's company will be rather bad for Pembroke."
Sirius and Remus looked at each other. Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius grinned.
"So, Pembroke and I are in cahoots? I think this is about to get very interesting."