Repercussions
Harm's Residence
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
5:09 Romeo, May 27
Mac slept fitfully for what was left of the night until her internal clock woke her. Realizations set in, as she saw the outline of Harm's naked body under the sheet next to her. What had they done? She started to question everything. They had both been cognizant of what happened, hadn't they? Harm had been the only one drinking, but he wasn't that drunk was he? He didn't seem to be...She and her best friend, her attached best friend had just slept together. Rephrase that...they much more than sleep together. Was it wrong to feel this way? Still, I should have had more common sense, but I was too drunk with lust and stupidity, she thought. And love. She did love Harm, more than she had ever loved anyone. She felt guilty, like she had taken advantage of him because he had been drinking as she had been in her state of loneliness, vulnerability and unspoken love. Clarity always came to her too late.
********
Harm slept peacefully, the combination of alcohol, his injuries and lovemaking physically taxing. In his sleep, he reached for her and took her in his arms. She wanted to get up, get dressed, and go running. Running made her feel so free, as she was alone with nature. At least for a little while until the rest of the world woke and joined her in the park. She hesitated to move. She secretly admitted she enjoyed being in his arms. They were safe and secure and she was shielded from the world for just a little while longer.
********
"Hey." he said, catching her by surprise. She hadn't thought he was awake. He yawned. She tensed in his arms wishing she had slipped out before like she originally intended to. "You put me to sleep."
"Great. Thanks." she said. Am I that bad ?, she wondered.
"Hey, I didn't mean it like that. I meant that you tired me out. I haven't slept this good in years." She knew he'd suffered from bouts of insomnia for years. Great, I'm now a cure for insomnia. Fuck me and I'll make you pass out.
"I'm glad." she said. Next thing he'd be saying was that she was a panacea.
"Your being so quiet."he said. That wasn't the case last night. He kissed her jaw line and he caught her flinch. "Do you regret what we did?" he asked. "I don't regret it. Not one bit."
"I just feel like we've messed everything up. You're my best friend, my partner. There are a million rules and regulations that go against this. I just feel like we've crossed the line, and it was too late by the time we realized we past it. And I don't even want to get started on Renée..."
"We haven't messed anything up. We'll work it all out. As for Renée, I don't feel the same way about her as I do about you."
Which was? she thought. "Cheating is cheating."
"What else are you not saying?" he asked.
"I think we need time to think about what happened and decide what we're going to do. We need to go on and act like this never happened, in the meantime. Act like we did before."
She had a point in there somewhere, but still there was more she wasn't saying. He could understand what she said about acting like they had before because once people became lovers, they usually were so obvious. Neither wanted to jeopardize their jobs, but he knew there was a much deeper reason to what she'd said. Right now he wasn't quite sure what it was. He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was, that she regretted it.
********
Jag Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
14:22 Romeo, June 2
Bud entered Harm's office. "Hi sir."he said leaving a file on his desk. "Permission to speak freely?"
"What's up, Bud?" He put the file he was perusing down.
"Ummm...Well, lately I've noticed the tension between you and Colonel MacKenzie. It's just that you've been fighting a lot lately."
Harm smiled. "Bud, how is that any different than ususal?"
"But not like this, sir. It's different this time."
"Bud, you don't have to talk in circles around me. Just spit it out."
"Alright. Does you and the Colonel not getting along have anything to do with what happened the other night, sir?"
What did he know? Mac hadn't told him, had she? No, he decided. But what else did he know and how did he know it? "And what happened the other night?"
"Um...Harriet and I left and were out in the parking lot when we realized that we left the keys on the table. So, we came back to get them and saw you and Colonel MacKenzie dancing, and well....kissing." Harm looked at him and said nothing. "I don't care how this affects your girlfriend or now ex girlfriend or whatever, but I do care about you and Colonel MacKenzie, sir. I hate seeing you both act like this."
Acting like nothing happened wasn't as easy as either of them had thought and came out as hostility.
"Be rest assured that Harriet and I haven't mentioned a word of this to anyone."
"Thanks. You have to understand something though, Bud. It was a drunken mistake, Bud. Mac and I have already agreed that it didn't happen."
"Let me ask you one thing. If it was a mistake that meant nothing to either of you, than why are you and the Colonel acting like guilty teenagers and avoiding each other whenever you can?"
"I have to get back to work." was all Harm said. He ignored Bud's little tirade. He and Mac would be fine. It would go back to how it used to, it would just take some time.
********
Bud and Harriet's Residence
Rosslyn, Virginia
14:57 Romeo
"So, how'd it go?" Harriet asked, as she rocked their new daughter, Sarah Rose. Her twin brother Harmon was already sound asleep in his bassinet. She'd gone home early to nurse her babies. Harriet scooped up their toddler son, AJ with her other free arm.
"I think he really listened. I think some sense was finally knocked into him."
"Do you want me to talk to Colonel MacKenzie?"
"I don't think it's necessary."
********
Mac's Office
Jag Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
14:22 Romeo, June 5
"Hi." Harm said.
She looked up from her file. He shut the door. "Hi." she said and smiled.
"They know."
"Who? Exactly what?"
"Bud and Harriet saw us..." He thought of how to phrase it and simply said, "on the dance floor." Her jaw dropped.
"What did you say?"
"I told him what you said about the whole thing." He didn't want to repeat the words again, words he did not believe in. "They've noticed we've been fighting a lot lately."
"Harm, we always fight."
"We fight 'differently' according to Bud. We act differently."
"Well, then we have to stop."
"Stop what?"
"Acting weird." This was going well. What a lovely adult conversation, he thought wryly.
"And how do you suggest we do that? Obviously we weren't able to do that before."
She stood up."We're being civil now because you've stopped pressuring me to make a decision."
"Oh ho, wait a second. Now I'm pressuring you?!"
"Yes!"
"I'd appreciate an answer soon because I'm stringing Renée along...." What she didn't know was that Harm hadn't dumped her only because he hadn't seen her in weeks.
"I'm surprised she's still with you after what happened!" She pointed an accusatory finger at him. "Wait a minute. You didn't tell her did you, Harm? She doesn't know we slept together."
"I thought we didn't."
"Don't get into technicalities. I'm just saying...."
"You say we have to forget about what happened, but as soon as I bring Renée into the conversation, now we've slept together again, Mac."
"Isn't that what you wanted me to say all along? I have work to do." she said, sitting down once again, putting a temporary end to the juvenile banter.
********
Mac's Office
Jag Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
10:02 Romeo, June 16
Mac was glad the ensuing weeks after the 'incident' had gone smoother, as things were better between her and Harm. They seemed to be back to normal and she was glad he let it drop for now.
She heard a rap at the door. "Come in." she said, without looking up.
"Hello ma'am."It was Harriet.
She motioned for her to sit. "I desperately needed a break." she said, setting down the file atop a mass of others. "How are you?"
"Having three babies in the house is really a challenge, but Bud and I are doing alright. I brought you this." She handed Mac a manila folder. "How are you, ma'am?"
"I'm fine, just little under the weather."
"Bud and I saw what happened at the bar between you and the Commander and you both haven't been the same...."
Mac's smile quickly faded. She didn't like the way this was going. Suddenly a wave of nausea swept over her.
Harriet became concerned as the Colonel became a nice shade of green. "Are you alright, ma'am?!"
"I've been sick to my stomach for two days straight."
"That happened to me when I was preg—"
"No, Harriet. It's not possible. I took Chloe and a couple of her friends to the movies the other day. I must have caught something from one of the kids.
"Well, I should let you get back to your work. Feel better, ma'am."
"Thanks."
********
Mac's Residence
Georgetown, MD
18:44 Romeo, June 24
"Mac, look at that!" said Chloe, pointing to the huge gorilla sashaying across the TV screen. There was so response. She turned to find Mac passed out on the couch. The child sighed ruefully. She knew Mac was tired and her stomach was not feeling well, but she still was disappointed. She always looked forward to spending time with her. She admired Mac so much and wanted to be just like her when she grew up. She loved Mac, she was just like a big sister, almost like a mother.
There was a knock at the door. Chloe got the stool and put it up against the door so she could see out of the peephole. It was Harm. She quickly unlocked and opened the door.
"Chloe?!You should never let people in."
"But I saw it was you. You're not a stranger."she said in her defense.
"Fair enough. Where's Mac?"
Chloe pointed to the living room where Harm saw Mac sprawled out and asleep on the couch. "She was feeling all pukey before. My teacher was like that when she was pregnant. I'd almost bet money on it that she's pregnant she hasn't seen anyone since her bust up with Mic the Dickhead half a year ago. I know all about that sex stuff." she said nonchalantly.
"She said she probably caught something from you or one of your friends."
"Nope. None of us have been sick."
"So what are you doing?"
"Waiting for Mac to rise so we can eat. I'm quite famished." Chloe melodramatically said, sweeping the back of her hand against her forehead, pretending to faint. Harm couldn't help but smile. She was good for Mac, and vice versa. It was truly a symbiotic relationship.
"I'd take you to get something to eat, but Mac would worry when she woke up and you weren't here and I'd get in trouble. I'm sure she'll be up soon. How about I keep you entertained until she wakes up?"
"Deal! I was so bored! Even Jingo is asleep!"
********
Chloe lead Harm to the guest room where she always stayed when she came for an overnight visit. Mac had obviously allowed her to personalize it, as a pastel bedspread with bears covered the twin bed. The walls were a pastel blue with matching stenciled bears along the ceiling. Toys and games littered the room. A Marine poster, looking tremendously out of place hung over the bed.
Chloe invited him to sit at the white wicker desk, and she took the stool. They spent over an hour playing war, poker and various other card games. The kid sure knew how to play cards!
********
19:57 Romeo
Mac gently stirred in her sleep. She heard voices but could not locate their owners. Her eyelids flew open. It hadn't been a dream after all. She realized the TV was on. She peered into the now dark living room. "Chloe?"she called, her tongue still thick from sleep.
"We're in here!"Chloe called from the other room.
Mac stood up and stretched. We? Oh, no! Not that paranormal-ghost phase again! She headed towards Chloe's room. "I told you Chlo, there are no gh—"She reached the doorway. "Harm! What are you doing here?"
"Playing with Chloe. She's one mean, green card player. She could have robbed me of house and home. Thank god we were just playing for M&Ms."
"Well, I learned from the best." Chloe said, grinning at Mac. Mac smiled.
"I should go. Chloe wanted me to entertain her until you woke up."he said. Mac knew damn well that he didn't come over just to play with Chloe. Hell, he didn't even know she would be there tonight.
"Chloe and I were going to get some dinner. Would you like to join us?"
"Please, oh please, Harm!" cried Chloe.
"Sure." he said smiling at the child's insistence. This was another step back on track. "How are you feeling? Chloe told me...."
"I'm feeling better."
********
20:19 Romeo
They ate Chinese food in Mac's living room. Chloe insisted upon going out and seeing a movie. Harm and Mac let her choose and she chose the re-showing of Top Gun. "But haven't you seen it a hundred times?" Mac said.
"Forty-two to be exact. Plus, Tom Cruise is hot and all those times it was on an itty bitty screen! The planes are awesome too." Chloe said. Harm smiled.
"Well, you have to hurry up," she said looking at the listings. "The next showing is in twenty minutes."
********
DC CINEMAPLEX
CINEMA SIX
20:34 Romeo
Chloe pushed past Mac and Harm and sat down in the end seat, forcing Mac and Harm to sit next to eachother.
"Chlo! That was rude."
"Sorry."she said.
"Chloe, are you sure you can see? There's a big tall guy in front of you. Let me trade seats with you."said Harm.
"Nope, I can see fine." she said, grinning to herself. "Popcorn?"she asked coyly.
********
21:04 Romeo
Mac and Harm had little contact, except for the occasional fingers brushing when they both reached for popcorn at the same time, and when their elbows collided when vying for the arm rest.
"Aren't you going to do anything?" whispered Chloe loudly.
"Huh?" asked Mac.
"Do I have to spell it out for you? Aren't you going to make out with Harm?!"
"Harm and I are just...." she paused, "friends, Chlo." She looked at Harm for confirmation. He looked away.
********
Mac's Residence
Georgetown, MD
22:16 Romeo, June 24
Harm walked them in. Chloe let out a big yawn. "Time for bed, kiddo. You had all that candy. Don't forget your teeth." said Mac.
"Yes, ma'am." she saluted Mac and scurried off to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
"Coffee?" Mac asked, knowing full well more caffeine was the last thing either needed after consuming an extra large coke respectively.
"Why not?"
She went to the sink to fill the pot with water. Harm snuck up behind her, wrapping his arms around her slender waist. She gasped. "What are you doing?" He kissed her neck and said nothing. "Harm, stop." He complied and let her go.
"You're too damn commitment phobic." he said, moving further and further away from her. "Night, Chloe!" he called loudly so she could hear him.
"Night!"she called from the other room, as Harm let himself out.
Why did I do that? she asked herself. She didn't know why she chased him away like that. She wished she hadn't.
********
Mac's Office
Jag Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
11:09 Romeo, June 29
Harm perused the dossier of their next defendant. He was waiting for Mac to get another file from Tiner.
Mac's phone jumped to life. He snatched up the receiver. "Colonel Sarah MacKenzie's office." Harm recited, sounding like a secretary.
A woman spoke at the other end, "This Marie with Dr. Gilbert's office. Is Ms. MacKenzie there?"
"No, but I can take a message."
"We were able to make an appointment for the ultrasound on the July 7th at 6 PM."
"Ultrasound? This is for which doctor again?"
"Dr. Gilbert, OB-GYN."
"Thanks. I'll give her the message." He left the message by the phone where she was sure to notice it later. He was appalled that the secretary had given out information like that, as to the nature of the appointment to what could have been no more than a total stranger. But at the same time, he was glad. What the hell was she going to an OB-GYN for? An annual visit? Or was something wrong, or? What Chloe had joked about the other day popped into his head. Was Mac pregnant?
********
BULL PEN
"How are you, Colonel?" asked Admiral Chegwidden. "You've seemed a little under the weather lately." Great, he's noticed, she thought.
"I'm fine, sir."
"How's the Mc Napherdy case going?"
"Good sir. If you'll excuse me."
"Of course."
********
Mac's Office
"You okay, Harm? You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine."he said. He was fine, she was fine. They were all not damn fine!
"What's wrong?" she tried again.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.
She gave him a confused smile. "Why didn't I tell you what?"
"That..."
Just then, Gunny appeared, silencing Harm and saving Mac for a little while longer.
"I'm going to get some more coffee." said Harm. He left the office. Gunny sat down. Mac noticed a pink phone slip. Dr. Gilbert, July 7, 6 PM, and the time the receptionist called were printed in Harm's writing. Harm won't know what it's for, if the message is any indication, she told herself. She took a deep breath and set it down, before returning her attention towards Gunny.
********
Mac's Residence
Georgetown, MD
21:04 Romeo, July 7
Mac laid on her couch in the dark. The only light came from a large candle on the mantle of her fireplace. What am I going to do, she asked herself. The pregnancy had been confirmed with some lines and dashes when she had taken the pregnancy test over a week ago. But none of it seemed real to her, not even the morning sickness, until the doctor did the ultrasound where she saw her baby and was confirmed she was seven or eight weeks along. She had always seen herself carrying Harm's child, but not like this, not under these circumstances. They were barely talking. Hell, they had made a deal to have a kid together if neither were in a relationship five years after Harm told her he was leaving JAG and going back to flying. It wasn't five years later, and one of them was in a relationship. And Mac was pregnant. The doctor had made a video for her and urged her to bring someone for support the next time. The baby was small and its features indistinguishable, but she already loved it.
There was a knock at the door. Mac got up and looked through the peephole. It was Harm. She paused before letting him in. "Hi." she said. He entered the apartment.
"Hi." he said. "Why is it so dark in here?"
"I was laying down, thinking." She sat down on the couch and he sat next to her.
"About what?"
"Stuff." she said modestly.
"Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"
She nearly jumped out of her seat. She'd been hoping she had been covering her tracks and he had no intimation what was going on. "How did you know?"
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist." It just took a kid to point it out.
"Before you ask, yes, it is yours."
"I had no doubt about that. Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Of course," she said quietly, "when the time was right."
"When? When the kid graduated highschool?"
"I was going to tell you in a few days. I still need time to process this myself."
"Both of you are alright? Your keeping it?"
"We're fine. Of course. I could never...." Never again.
"I'm glad." he said sincerely. He wanted to hold her, but she needed her space right now.
"We'll be fine on our own."
"What makes you think I'd abandon you both?"
"Because everyone else has."
"I'll never leave you. You can't go through this alone."
"Don't let us ruin your life, Harm."
"I want to take care of you and our baby. We were planning on having a child in a few years anyway. What's changed?"
"It's only been a little over a year since our deal. You've barely had a chance to find someone to settle down with. You don't need to end your life just because I got knocked up. I'm just Joe's stupid, tramp daughter."
"Jesus H. Christ Mac! I want you and only you! I want us to be a family. I refuse to believe what we shared was just some meaningless one night stand. I'm in love with you!"
His admission made her heart skip a beat. "I love you, too, Harm." Before she realized what was happening, Harm was on the floor in front of her on one knee. He produced a sparkling ring of rubies surrounding a diamond. "Sarah Mackenzie, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"
She tried to find the words as she stared into the depths of his azure eyes. Tears formed in her own eyes. "Harm, I love you, but I can't marry you. I just can't get married because you feel obligated because I'm carrying our child."
"I want to marry you because I love you. I've loved you for years. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you forever to Brumby. Let this ring be my promise to show you my love, loyalty and friendship. No strings, marry me, don't. It's up to you. I want you to have it. It was my grandmother's. He showed her it's inscription: Sarah, My love always and forever. "See, it was meant for you."
She nodded for him to go ahead. He slipped it on her right ring finger. He wiped her tears away and took her into his arms. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk." she whispered.
"That's the past. We have more important things to worry about, like the present and the future." He softly put his hand over the slight curve in her belly. The touch wasn't meant to be sexual, but she couldn't help but respond to the jolt that surged through her. He kissed her. There was something very erotic about her carrying their child. He'd scooped her up and they traveled into her bedroom. He placed her on the bed. "This isn't going to hurt the baby?"
"No." she said, returning hiss kiss.
"I've been waiting for this for so long."he said.
"Oh, so you were so confident that you'd win me over?" she said, taking his hand into hers, tracing imaginary loops and whorls with her index finger.
"I won you over a long time ago." he said with a grin.
********
Washington Memorial Reflecting Pool
Washington, D.C.
13:04 Romeo, July 11th
It was humid and the Japanese cherry blossoms were in full bloom. The monument towered over him, and the sun hid behind the clouds ominously. Harm had called Renée when she returned from her trip and asked her to meet him by the reflecting pool. There was no mention for lunch. He didn't want to give any false pretenses. She had suspected nothing and happily agreed, saying she'd missed him. He'd explained to Mac that she was away and breaking up with her over the phone wasn't right. That is why he waited until now.
The tall blonde approached, clad head to toe in a ghastly snake pattern in a pink that was like that of the cheery blossoms, with an equally appalling matching purse. "Hi, honey." she cooed, and bent over him to plant a kiss on his cheek. "I missed you." She aimed for his mouth but he backed away.
"What's wrong?" she demanded. "You're dumping me, aren't you?"
"This just isn't working."
"I can't believe it. You are dumping me." she said incredulously.
"I was hoping it would be a mutual decision. I can't be the onlyone to see it wasn't working."
"Is there someone else?" she asked, although deep down, she already knew the answer. Someone already had his heart way before she'd met him. Mac.
"Mac?" He said nothing, just once more confirming what she was already privy to.
"How could you do this to me?" she fumed. "We had something good."
"It's better this way. It's better than pretending something is there when it's not."
"You bastard!" she screamed and stormed off. Well, that went well, thought Harm wryly.
********
Harm's Residence
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
18:22 Romeo, July 11
Harm had went to the store, as he lacked a few of essential ingredients for shrimp and vegetable risotto. He'd insisted on cooking for Mac and ordered her to eat healthy now that she was eating for two. He'd told her to sit and rest and leave everything up to him but she figured there was no harm in setting the table. She removed two blue-tinted snifters from the cupboard. She set one down at Harm's place setting. There was a knock at the door.
Mac went to answer it. Renée stood before her and both hadn't been expecting the other to be there. That was apparent.
"I came to get something I left here." she snapped at Mac.
Mac let her in. She got a book out of the living room and went back to the door. Mac opened it. "I'm sorry."she said.
"I bet you are." she said and shoved past with such brute force that Mac was knocked down. The snifter shattered on impact. Mac's left hand landed on some of the small shards. "Shit!" she muttered and got up, making sure she was out of the glass' path.
She went to the kitchen and examined her hand. None of the glass shards appeared to be embedded as they all came off easily. She ran her hand under the water and held a towel to it. The lacerations were shallow. She went in the bathroom to cleanse her wounds and apply gauze.
Harm came home a few minutes later and noted the broken glass by the door. "Mac?" he called worried. She appeared before him. "I'm sorry about the glass. It was an accident. I was just going to clean it up."
"I don't care about the glass, I care about you. Are you alright? Did you cut yourself?"
She held up her left hand. "It's not bad." The gauze was snow white and that was a good sign. If the injury was severe, it would still be bleeding and the gauze would be saturated with blood. He hugged her and kissed her. "I'm fine, Harm. I'm not some porcelain doll that will break. Now get cooking flyboy, we're starved."she said with a smile. They went into the kitchen.
********
The Courtroom
Jag Headquarters
Falls church, Virginia
15:08 Romeo, July 12
Mac paced confidently as she delivered her closing. "The defendant, Master-chief John Morrison was fully cognizant that he was putting Sergeant-Major Hartford's life in jeopardy. He did this intentionally to get back at him for an affair," A sudden, sharp pain surged through her abdomen, "the Sergeant-Major had been having with Master-chief Morrison's wife." She grabbed her stomach and doubled over as the pain intensified before finally crashing to the floor. Harm was the first one to race to her side.
"Motion for mistrial!" cried the defense attorney Lieutenant Mc Murphy.
"Forget that now!" cried Admiral Horn, the presiding judge. "Someone call an ambulence!" Bud did so on his cell phone.
Harm cradled her in his arms. Tears streamed down her face. "I don't know what's wrong." she said, even though she knew what was happening to her. She'd lost so much, too much. Harm issued words to calm her to no avail. "Please don't let them take our baby."she whispered almost inaudibly. Harm was the only one to hear her plea.
"Sir, there's a shortage of ambulances and paramedics because of an eleven car pile up!"
"I'm taking her myself then. You drive." He tossed Bud the keys to his SUV and carefully lifted her into his arms and they raced down the stairs.
********
Mac's Hospital Room
Bethesda Navel Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland
22:44 Romeo, July 12
Mac awoke hours later, her body feeling like lead. She felt a hand wrapped around hers. She opened her eyes half way to see Harm sitting in the near dark. She opened her eyes wider. "Harm? Don't let them take my baby again." she murmured.
"Shhh....It's alright. Rest."
Louder. "I want our baby. Please, don't let them take the baby again. Harm, you can't let them." She was crying now. He wrapped her arms around her and let her cry. "Not again."
Again. The first time he heard her, he thought he'd heard wrong. He knew the doctor had given her a sedative and she had probably not fully recovered from its effects and didn't know what she was saying. But somehow, he knew that what she saying wasn't out of her drug induced state. Sometime, a long time ago, she had lost another child.
What she wanted to know, needed to know, he couldn't bring himself to tell her. He couldn't, especially now after what he just learned; not when he couldn't accept the loss of their child himself yet.
"Rest." he said, to a distraught Mac, who started to drift off to sleep.
********
09:34 Romeo, July 13
Mac woke. She had a terrible nightmare. She dreamt that their child was gone. She opened her eyes and focused on unfamiliar territory. She realized she was in the hospital. The last thing she remembered was being in pain and Harm taking her to the hospital.
Harm returned to her room with a styro-foam cup filled with coffee to revive him after the all-night-vigil. Her head was turned toward the window. She turned to look at him. He sat down beside, resting the coffee on the bedside table. He gripped her good hand. "Welcome back, sleepyhead." he said, hiding the pain from his voice.
"The baby's gone isn't it?"She sat up.
"Yes." he said, nodding sadly. She wept for a long time after that. He felt so helpless and just held her.
********
"It's not fair." she said. "Why? What happened? What caused it?"
"There was some trauma and you were badly bleeding. A baby that underdeveloped can't survive outside the womb."he said, reciting the doctor's words. "They had to take the baby, Mac. You would have died if they didn't. I couldn't lose you both."
"Trauma, what kind of trauma?" she asked, as if she hadn't her most of what he'd said.
"Anything. Strenuous exercise, taking a fall, but sometime it happens for no apparent reason."
"It's not my fault this time, Harm."she said, "Its not, right?" The tough-as-nails Marine was now emotionally fragile as glass. Her Teflon exterior had been pierced, exposing her, making her vulnerable. He had to be the strong one.
"No, it's not, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong." He held her tighter.
"She did it. It's her fault."
"What? Who? Who did what?"
"Renée...She pushed me, I fell."
"When was this?"
"When you went to the store the other day."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to upset you. I was fine, except for my hand." She looked at it. The nurses had cleaned it and applied new dressing. "Or so I thought. I felt fine. I never knew I'd lose another baby."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She nodded. "I wanted to tell you. I just harbored the memories and my feelings for so long. I locked them up and I thought I'd never have to face them again. When Eddie and I were in the accident, I just didn't lose him." She paused.
"Are you sure you want to continue? You don't have to."
"I need to." she told him, regaining her composure. "I lost our baby. They called it a miscarriage, but it was as good as murder. It's my fault. I was driving. I guess it's better it happened. A teenage alcoholic isn't the best parental material."
"I'm so sorry, Mac." he said.
"Does everyone know?"
"Only the Admiral, Bud and Harriet know. They're here and want to see you if your up to it."
She shook her head. "No, I can't."
"That's alright. We'll get through this together."He felt numb. They clung to each other for dear life as if they were dangling dangerously close to the precipice and doomed to plummet to their death. One of them was already headed there.
********
A while later, Mac was fit to be discharged. A nurse gave him some business cards with the contact information for counselors who dealt with this sort of thing all the time and urged him and his "wife" to go.
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(Part 3/conclusion entitled Anaesthesia)