Jekkal: Time to go check on those Animorphs again. Everything as usual, minus the German Marco.
Pareko: Hey, Jekkal!
Jekkal: Pare? What are you doing here?
Pareko: Well, I figured you might need a bodyguard this time. You almost got clobbered last time.
Jekkal: Okay, you can tag along. Although I don't think they'll raise hell if I show up.
*Jekkal and Pareko walk into the barn*
Ax: YOU!!!
Jekkal: Or maybe they will.
*The Animorphs come after the two with pitchforks and ropes*
Pareko: HEY! I'm not even a registered author! Or, at least under this identity...
Cassie: Guilty by association!
Jekkal: And you call this a fair trial?
*Ax and Visser Three stop the two authors by a tree*
Pareko: Objection! Your honor, we're being harassed.
Animophs: Uh-huh. Like we care.
*The Animorphs bound up the two meddlers, while Marco makes a couple of nooses.*
*Pareko stares at Ax*
Jekkal: No way! I object! The author CANNOT be lynched!
Pareko to Ax: Are you getting prenatal care for that thing?
Ax: How much help do you think an Andalite needs, anyway?
Jekkal: Plenty.
Ax: Well, screw you.
Jekkal: In your dreams.
Pareko: Think of the CHILDREN!
Jekkal: Don't you mean child?
Ax: Didn't I tell you? I'm having septuplets.
Jekkal: WHAT?
*Jake grabs Pareko and puts her on Visser Three; Jekkal gets put on Ax.*
Jake: Enough talk, let's lynch.
Pareko to V3: You know, you really ought to bathe more often.
V3: I do not stink.
*Marco tightens the nooses on the two*
Marco: Okay.... now we wait.
Rachel: For what?
Cassie & Jake: FOR THIS!
*The two of them smack the Andalites, making them run off in pain*
*Jekkal and Pareko fall and hit the dirt*
Tobias: What the heck? Why didn't they get hung?
Jekkal: First off, you used too much rope. Second, you used both ends of one rope, so really we're just tied together by the neck.
Pareko: Yeah, that was slick.
Jekkal: *unties the nooses* Now... *grins to Pareko* Torture fic?
Pareko: *dusts herself off* Certainly.
*Jekkal pulls down the curtain, and then the scene reopens to an unfurnished basement*
Jekkal: Off with the clothes, Jakey.
Pareko: Whoa whoa whoa. What is this censored as?
Jekkal: Okay, okay. Change that to in your undies.
*Jake strips to his briefs*
Marco: You weren't thinking about....
Pareko: *blushes*
Jekkal: No, no, no. I was thinking about THIS!
*Throws a match in Jake's underwear*
Cassie: Toasty.
Jekkal: You want to try it too?
Cassie: Naw, that's okay. I've done it before.
*Jake blushes, then resumes screaming*
*Rachel looks down at Jake*
Rachel: Sheesh, Cass. You were right.
Jake: Oooh, I knew I shouldn't have worn polyester briefs!
*Jekkal looks now*
Jekkal: Yep, Cassie was right, and isn't he supposed to be circumsized? (Sorry, but I've always wanted to do that scene!)
*Jekkal splashes water on Jake, putting out the fire.*
Jake: NEVER do that again to me.
Jekkal: You're limp anyway, so who cares whether it's burnt?
Rachel: She's right, Jake.
Jake: RACHEL!
Jekkal: *giggle* Fine. Should I...
Jake: *pushes Marco forward* Do him this time!
Rachel: NO!
Cassie: He's the stud muffin of our group!
Ax: But he's MINE!
*Females stare at Ax*
Jekkal: I thought you did yourself.
Ax: I've branched out, so to speak.
Jekkal: *rolls eyes* Ooookay. No giving Marco the hot twig.
*Marco relaxes*
Jekkal: Rachel?
Rachel: Hmmmm?
Jekkal: No, no, no. That would be just plain sick. HEY VISSER!
*V3 trots over*
V3: Hey what?
Jekkal: Care to give me some suggestions on how to handle these guys? Somewhere along the line setting fire to unmentionables gets boring.
Pareko: Not to mention it smells.
Jekkal: Well, considering we practically burned Jake's manhood off...
Jake: DAMN RIGHT YOU DID!
Pareko: And the fact that a certain Andalite who shall remain unnamed is chewing the ashes....
Jekkal: Ewwww....
V3: Rape?
Jekkal: NO!
Pareko: NO!!!!!!!
Jekkal: Dang it, boy, this is PG-13, not NC-17!
*V3 shrugs*
Jekkal: I know!
Pareko: Ooh! Do tell!
Jekkal: Hmm....*pops in a tape*
Tape: It's all in your hands....
Jekkal: Out! Quick!
All: *SHRIEK*
*Jekkal and Pareko run out, locking the others inside, as the song keeps playing*
Pareko:*evil giggle*
Jekkal: Okay, leave that playing for a couple of hours, that'll do it.
Two hours later...
Jekkal286: (Jekkal) AUGH! Look what we've done!
Animorphs: LET US OUT!!
Jekkal: They're turning into their Ani-TV coutnerparts!
*Pareko screams in terror*
Jekkal: Rachel looks like a slut! And Cassie's skin is much lighter....
Cassie: What do you think we've been doing the last two hours to keep sane?
Pareko: Rock Paper Scissors?
Rachel: No. We were doing a little 'exploration', so to speak.
Jekkal: ICK!
*Pareko barfs*
Jekkal: Let's leave. They can stay in that room as long as they want.
*Jekkal dims the window down*
Pareko: Don't you feel mildly responsible for turning them all into monsters?
Jekkal: Hell no. I just want something else to do other than Morphers, that's all.
Pareko: Phew. Me neither.
Jekkal: Say, I hear there's that new AniPern movie coming out. Shall we go see it?
Pareko: I'm there. *grins*
*The two run off to go see a movie*
Usher: The film as been changed from The Dragons to a sex ed film for 10th grade. Thank you.
Jekkal: Let's leave.
Pareko: Definitely.
*Jekkal and Pareko walk out of the theater*
THE END!