True, true: Goku gets his comeuppance!!!
Disclaimer: Like I own DBZ, puh-lease!!
A/N: The last in the series so I'm reehheealy hyper!! Expect madness, out of characterness and lots of TV references. Now, let's get it on!!
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Goku was in a secluded part of the mountains, he didn't dare come out because the two most dangerous people in the world were after him. He closed his eyes.
"If you can hear me Dende, puh-lease help me!! I mean, I've never asked you for anything and how many times have I saved the Universe. (Counts his fingers) Um, enough times!!" He looked up expecting a reply but got nothing.
"Aw damn! I'm doomed!"
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Vegeta's eyes opened and all he saw was white. He blinked and looked around him, in the next bed he saw someone familiar, squinted and saw it was Chi-Chi.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! I'VE GONE TO HELL!!! I knew saving this damn planet wasn't gonna get me anywhere!" Vegeta said to himself. He looked to his other side and saw Bulma, Goten and Trunks laughing at him. The vein that took residence in Vegeta's head came out for a walk.
"SHUDDUP!! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE?" he screamed shaking his fist at no one in particular.
"Calm down! Firstly, you're in the hospital because Chi-Chi knocked you out with a frying pan." Bulma stated trying to stifle a giggle but failing miserably.
"Damn baka onna!"
"Nextly, Goku has disappeared and everyone I've talked to said they haven't seen him, have you?" She asked.
"No I ha…KAKARROT!! HE DID THIS!! THAT BASTARD!!!" Vegeta screamed scaring the crap out of everyone and waking Chi-Chi up.
"He's right, it was Goku. He scared me so bad that I swear I misplaced my heart back at the store." Chi-Chi said in a voice so calm everyone went pale. Even Vegeta!
"KEWL!! Dad broke my mom!! Wait a sec, that's not kewl! It's slightly worrying!" Goten said.
"Yeah! I never knew that Goku had a slick sense of humour!! Should have got him to help me with that prank." Trunks said grinning a bit.
"Well he's not gonna get away with this!! I'll hunt him down like a dog, that damn dog!! I'll kill him, I'll feed him to…Buu!! Then I'll get the Namek and…"
"Woah!! Why get mad, when we can (insert dun dun duuun, she put her finger near her mouth Dr Evil style) even! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" Chi-Chi laughed.
"Mom, you're scaring me! Are you sure you are okay?" Goten asked as he ducked behind Trunks.
"Fine. Never been better."
"Well if you've got a plan let's here it!" Vegeta shouted obviously losing his patience.
"I've got the basic idea of what I'm going to do. He scared us so we'll scare him, I mean, just think of what Goku's worst fear is." Chi-Chi said smiling evilly.
"His worst fear is the guy on the oatmeal box!" Goten chipped in. Trunks smacked his forehead.
"No Goten, that's your worst fear." Trunks said with a sigh.
"Oh yeah! (Shudders) Okay, then it must be the Spice Girls!"
"Also your fear."
"Oh. I give up."
"Um…I know! When we were on Namek Kakarrot saw a needle and flipped, so to speak, that was hilarious!" Vegeta said as he slapped his thigh.
"Exactly. All we need to do now is think of a dazzling, ingenious, cock-an-eyebrow-worthy plan! We'd better pull an all-nighter on this one. But first," Chi-Chi said as she opened her mouth. "HEY NURSE, GET ME THE HELL OUTTA THIS BED BEFORE I LEVEL THIS BUILDING TO THE GROUND!!"
"Sheee! Now I see where Kakarrot learned how to scream like that!" Vegeta said clasping his hands over his ears.
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Goku was still in the mountains. He had been there for three days now but he didn't dare come out of hiding. He was sitting in a corner of a cave hugging his knees close to his chest whimpering. He had been having bad nightmares about Chi-Chi impaling him with a barbeque fork. He vowed to himself that he would not fall asleep.
**Goku!! Goku honey, are you awake?** Goku sat up.
"Mommy? Wait a sec, I don't have a mom!! I must be going mad!!" He said clutching his head to make sure his brain wouldn't escape.
**Silly dear! It's me Chi-Chi!** Goku gulped.
"Oh yeah! We can talk telepathically! So um, wassup?"
**Not a lotta. Just waiting for you to come home dear**
"Are you mad at me Chich?"
**Of course not! All train and no play makes Goku something or other!**
"Ookay!! Well I'll be right home!"
**I'll be waiting!**
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Goku teleported home, he looked for Chi-Chi but couldn't find her. His stomach rumbled so he went to the fridge but instead of finding food he found…
"NEEDLES!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Goku screamed as he ran upstairs. Every room he went into he found needles, pictures of needles and even a TV showing a little girl being injected in slow motion. Goku went pale and just about stopped himself from keeling over. He ran out of the house so scared that he forgot he could fly. When he eventually remembered he flew to Krillin's house and banged on the door.
"Hey Goku, wassup?"
"Krillin man, you won't believe what ha…OHMIGOSH!! YOU'VE TURNED INTO A NEEDLE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Goku screamed as he ran off leaving Krillin laughing himself silly.
"Good thing Chi-Chi thought of these needle costumes!" He said as he flew off to meet the others.
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Goku flew to Yamcha's but when Yamcha opened the door and he was also dressed as a needle.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!" Goku screamed.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" Yamcha laughed as he flew off to meet the others.
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Goku went to Gohan's house, he went relieved that Gohan hadn't turned into a needle but when he got closer Gohan was wearing a lab coat and had an unbelievably long needle.
"OOOHHOOOOOO MYYYYYYYYYYYY GGOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!!" Goku screamed as he high-tailed it out of there. Goku went to Piccolo but that was a bad mistake. Piccolo closed in on him.
"Ehehehe. What'cha doing Piccolo?" Goku asked nervously.
"I'm going to carry out my revenge! On your wife's orders! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!"
"(Gulps) Chi-Chi?"
"Yup! The bi…I mean your wife has an excellent sense of humour! I guess she has a lot of influence on you!" Goku was about to turn tail and run but he ran into Vegeta.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
"That's right Kakarrot, 'aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!'. You should be crapping yourself, just like you made me crap myself! (Cracks his knuckles) And now I will beat that crap outta ya!!"
**Get ready to scream like a little girl** Goku's brain advised him.
"Kay!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!" Goku flew until Goten and Trunks knocked him down. He fell down and ran right into a dead end. All of his victims closed in on him, all of them dressed in needles.
"(In tears) Why won't you leave me alone? I didn't do anything wrong!! Well nothing that I could be arrested for anyway!! What do want from me?"
"WE WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU DID WHAT YOU DID, IDIOT!!!" They all screamed.
"I did it because you don't know what its like, I'm the one out there everydayputting his ass on the line, and I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the Truth? You want the TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face, you don't know what to do! FORGET IT EVERYONE! ITS CHINATOWN!"
"That was lame Dad!" Gohan said.
"Well if anyone's to blame it is Trunks and Goten. They've got this wicked cool TV that has like a million channels!!"
"WHAT?!!" Chi-Chi screamed.
"Ehehehee!" Goten said as he sweat dropped.
"Ya see! I'm the innocent one here! I'm the victim here!! It was them!! With their big TVs and comedy filled sitcoms and their Homer Simpsons!! Can't you find it your hearts to forgive me?" Goku said putting out his puppy-dog eyes.
"The thing I hate most about you Kakarrot is that you're so goddamn unoriginal!!"
"But I thought it was because I was stronger than you!"
"Don't be a smart ass! It doesn't suit you!" Yamcha said.
"Listen, I've been here for five minutes dressed in a goddamn needle suit!! I don't see Son walking away without any permanent injuries! Can we kill him NOW?" Piccolo asked, clearly losing his patience.
"Sure!" Vegeta said rolling his sleeves up. Everyone jumped on Goku. Goku jumped out of the way and laughed.
"HAHAHAHAHAAA!! You'll never take me alive, or dead for that matter!!" He said as he put two fingers to his head and teleported away.
"Damnit!! Now we'll have to find him! Curse whoever taught him that trick!!!" Chi-Chi screamed shaking her fist at no one in particular. Everyone sweat dropped.
"Ya know, I think I'll be getting home!" Krillin said as he nervously walked away.
"I think I'll join you Krillin!" Yamcha followed in pursuit.
"Oh no! You guys aren't getting off that easily! No one gets away with playing a practical joke on me!! I'll hunt him down to the ends of the earth until I find him and if I go down I'm taking every one of ya with me!!"
"Yes ma'am!!" The group chorused.
"Now, Bulma must have some sort of tracking device to find that husband of mine." Chi-Chi said to herself walking off to her 747-army plane thingy.
"They say that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Gohan commented.
"I knew that woman was insane the first time I met her." Vegeta said shaking his head.
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Goku wandered around Satan City hoping for something to eat. He tried not to think about food but then that would mean shutting down most of his brain. He walked pass an electronic store and saw his picture on a number of TVs. He blinked and used his Saiya-Jin hearing to find out what's going on.
"Reports have just filed in that a man named Son Goku is on the loose. His wife has declared him clinically insane. She claims that he has been dressing up as television characters such as 'Harry Enfield' and 'The Mask', he has also been parading around shouting out their famous phrases. He was spotted three weeks ago at Orange Star High screaming 'wassup' at the top of his lungs. Be on the look out for this man he is said to be dangerous and highly instable."
Goku stared at the TV screen like this O_O. He couldn't believe his wife had declared him insane just to get revenge. Many people on the street had seen his face on the screen and started to panic.
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! RUN EVERYONE ITS SON GOKU!!!" one woman screamed at the top of her lungs. Goku raised an eyebrow. He quickly darted into an alley so that he wouldn't be seen.
"I guess I need a disguise. If I walk around like this I'll get locked up!" He found some old clothes behind the Gap store. It took him forever but he managed to tie his hair down with a bandana. He took a tape recorder out of his pocket and pressed a button.
"Goku's log day 1: I am on the lam. I'm hungry. I'm hungry and tired. I'm hungry, tired and my head hurts from the weight of my hair. I should really get a haircut. (Switches off the tape) Sheesh! I never knew Chi-Chi could be such a bitch!!" Goku was about to leave when something went off in his head. "Crap! My Chi-Chi sense is tingling!! She's found me!! Aw man!! Something tells me Dende's laughing it up right now!!" He ran out of the alley only to run into Chi-Chi again.
"You'll never get me!!" He shouted at her.
"I got you to marry me didn't I?" She said running her fingers along the blade. Goku gulped.
"Don't you have something better to do than chase me?"
"Nope!"
"We really need to get you a hobby. Remind to do that if I ever survive your wrath!"
"Are you trying to say I'm crazy?" Chi-Chi said menacingly breaking the blade in half. Goku straightened himself up. He decided he wasn't going to fear her any more.
"Not trying. I'm saying it plain and simple you are crazy!"
"How dare you?"
"Easy! By opening my mouth and letting the words flow!" Goku had immediately regretted saying that because Chi-Chi started screaming.
"KAIO KEN ATTACK!" Chi-Chi yelled as Goku gulped. He dodged her attacks and teleported away again. He sighed as he thought he was safe he looked around him and saw Gotenks.
"Double eeps!"
"Sorry Goku but your ass is three weeks overdue and I'm about to claim it!" Gotenks exclaimed charging up against Goku. Goku jumped out of the way and teleported again.
"I can't keep teleporting like this!! This needs to stop!!" Goku cried but no one felt sorry for him as they all came from different directions.
"WAIT A SECOND!!! HOW THE HELL IS DAMN POSSIBLE THAT YOU ARE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH ME??? I MEAN HELL-O!! INSTANTANEOUS MOVEMENT PEOPLE!! LOOK IT UP!!" Goku cried.
"You poor idiot!! Anger is a very good motivator!" Chi-Chi said.
"Eep!" Goku needed a plan and fast because he was about to be turned into a kind of kebab!
"That's it!" Goku thought to himself. He clutched his chest and started making choking noises.
"HACK!! HACK!! WHEEEZE!!! COUGH COUGH!!" He passed out.
"I wonder what happened?" Krillin asked.
"All of the stress must've caused his heart to act up again." Gohan said going into deep thought.
"EGADS!!! I'VE KILLED MY HUSBAND!!" Chi-Chi screamed and grabbed him but couldn't quite get him up. "HELP ME YOU IMBECILES!!" "Yes ma'am!" As Goku was being carried home he smiled inwardly.
"Hehe! It worked like charm!! I should get my own TV show!" He thought to himself.
THE END!!!!
Wow!! Finally huh? I'm thinking of doing a spoof parody type thing next. If this goes well that is!! Plz REVIEW!! Ja ne!!