If Ya Smell, What The Saiya-Jins Are Cooking.
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, it's characters or it's concepts. I also don't own Blur's song "Song 2". Wow my first serious disclaimer…d'oh!
A/N: Ahh!! I had to scream! Anyways this is the big fight between Goku and Vegeta to settle once and for all this whole 'wassup' business. Enjoy!!
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"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!! WE SETTLE THIS RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!" Vegeta screamed as they both got into fighting stances. Goku then has a thoughtful face and drops out of his stance.
"Ya know what Vegeta? I don't think we should be mad at each other. After all you got your revenge and I got mine so why don't we just call it a day? This is getting pretty tedious ya know." Goku said. Vegeta got a thoughtful look on his face.
"For the first time in ages I agree with you Kakarrot! Let's call a truce!" Vegeta said shaking Goku's hand. The sky suddenly booms with thunder and lighting and the sky turns a horrible grey colour. (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUNN!!)
"You see, I told you that one day those two would cause something like this!" Piccolo said taking an amount of money from Trunks and Goten.
"Well, well, well! It seems like the two super Saiya-Jins have called a truce! I'm sorry but this breaks all the laws of every term I can think of." A voice boomed.
"That voice!" Piccolo said.
"That accent!" Yamcha shuddered.
"Oh Dende-sama! Hide me and hide me quick!" Goten said hiding behind his mother. Above him was a girl with dark brown hair. She was wearing boots, beige pants, black shirt, a pair of sunglasses and a long flowing black jacket.
"That's right, you'd better hide!" the voice boomed again.
"What do you want Nik Nak?? We haven't got all day ya know!" Vegeta snapped.
"I can't let you two have a truce. It's illegal!" I said.
"How?! It's not exactly in a book somewhere!" Trunks shouted. I rolled my eyes and threw him a book that had "DBZ AUTHORS GUIDE" written on it.
"Page 364 paragraph 3 line 4." I said descending to the ground. Goten backed away.
"Why are you so afraid of her?" Bulma asked.
"Because she's the one that made Fat Buu eat me!!" Goten said.
"Eeeww!!" Bulma said.
"But you should have seen his face when he was about to be swallowed. Wow! What a gas!!" I said as everyone sweat dropped.
"It says here that no matter what the circumstances, if it is within the authors power, that Vegeta and Goku must never form a truce or else the entire humour system of these kind of fics will collapse. What's a fic?" Trunks asked.
"People write stories about us on the Internet. I think we're in one of them now!" Piccolo said as the rest of the gang looked around like Mulder and Scully were watching them. I grinned at the sight but decided to get on with business.
"Since you two have done nothing but bitch about how you've tricked each other I'm going to settle this once and for all!" I said letting out an evil laugh.
"WHY US? WHY?!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GO AGAIN!! THIS IS LIKE THE 5TH TIME NOW!!" Goku said as he fell to the floor.
"I'm not gonna kill you!" I said.
"Oh. Okay then!" Goku replied.
"What are you gonna do to us?" Vegeta said standing face to face with me.
"Oh bloody hell! I knew I should have worn flats!" I said as I popped on some tennis shoes. "Much better! Oh and Yamcha?" I said closing my eyes and making a thought. I made him into a doughnut. "That's for cussing my accent! I'll have you know Spike from Buffy has exactly the same one!" All the Saiya-jins turned to Yamcha.
"DOUGHNUUUUTT!" They yelled as they ran after him.
"Don't do it!! It's me Yamcha!" Yamcha cried.
"All the better to eat you now!" Vegeta smirked.
"You must stop this madness!! Someone's gonna get hurt!" Krillin exclaimed.
"Oh alright!" I said turning him back into his regular self, Vegeta was still trying to eat him though. "I never get to have fun! Vegeta let him go! Must I turn you into a snack?" Vegeta let go.
"You still haven't told us what you're planning to do with Goku and Vegeta!" Chi-Chi cried.
"Well I have decided to put them to the test." I said.
"What kind of test?" Piccolo asked.
"Since these two love eating so much they will have each have to cook dinner next week and if you can cook an edible enough dinner then I will personally leave you alone and never humiliate you two again. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!" I laughed as everyone looked at me as if I had gone insane. (DUN DUN DUUUUUN!)
"Who keeps playing that music?" Piccolo asked.
"I am the Saiya-Jin no ouji and I will not cook food for some idiotic human holiday!" Vegeta shouted.
"You don't seem to realise you have no choice! If you don't do than then I will make you dress in drag and sing to everyone."
"I don't care. I've done it before!" Vegeta said as everyone gave him a weird look.
"Fine. I guess that means you're afraid that Goku can beat you. Typical!"
"Alright I'll do it!! I can beat that baka with my eyes closed!" Vegeta said storming into the house.
"Well now that is settled! I'm gonna go home. I'll see you next week." I said as I disappeared.
"I hate that girl." Goku muttered as he went home with his family.
Next day…
Vegeta stood in the kitchen, his face covered with flour, his hair kind of drooping to one side and red sauce all over his shirt.
"THIS SUCKS ASS!!" Vegeta shouted as he blasted the wooden spoon he was holding.
"Vegeta! That was my favourite spoon!" Bulma yelled from across the room.
"Oh please! Anything I break is your favourite thing! Damn onna." Vegeta muttered. He picked up a cookbook and flipped through a cookbook. "Hmm. Lasagne doesn't look to difficult." Vegeta tried to cook the long plank of pasta but it kept on sticking to the pan.
"DAMN PIECE OF CHICKEN SHIT! WHY WON'T YOU COOK??!" Vegeta hollered.
At Goku's…
"So all I have to do is put it in this box?" Goku asked. Chi-Chi rolled her eyes.
"It's not a box Goku!! It's a microwave!" Chi-Chi yelled.
"Cool! I heard Gohan used one of these before but it exploded. I guess I'll have to be more careful then." Goku replied as Chi-Chi left the kitchen. **He he he! I'm so gonna win this!**
("Song 2" plays throughout this next scene)
Vegeta put an uncooked chicken inside a bowl and put on the cooker. He then poured a generous amount of chicken casserole in the pot and set it alight. The pot exploded and flambéed his face. He puffed out some black smoke as the chicken fell behind him. Bulma walked into the kitchen and slipped on the chicken causing Vegeta to smirk.
"Hmm. At least it was good for something." Vegeta muttered.
Goku put the microwave dinner in the microwave and set it to four minutes. He began to get impatient after the first minute and put it on high. The microwave couldn't take the intense heat and exploded. There was spaghetti, meatballs and cheese all over the kitchen.
"I had some spaghetti all covered with cheese! I lost my poor meatballs…MEATBALLS!" Goku cried as he picked one up and ate it. "I guess I'll have to be more patient next time."
The deadline…
Vegeta and Goku waited for my arrival. Vegeta had prepared a turkey dinner and Goku had the spaghetti dinner. The sky darkened and boomed with thunder.
"Well at least we know she's here." Vegeta muttered. "What a ham."
"Excuse me but the last time I checked I wasn't a bloody pig!" I shouted. "Now let's get this done quickly!" I tasted Vegeta's turkey.
"What do you take me for?! You bought this Vegeta!" I cried.
"Well it didn't cost much." Vegeta muttered.
"But I thought you said that the Prince of the Saiya-Jins didn't eat cheap food." Goku said.
"For that price I'd eat you." Vegeta replied. I tasted Goku's spaghetti.
"This is a microwave dinner!" I cried.
"No duh!" Goku replied. I gave him a death glare.
"That's it the truce is off. Although this wasn't a total waste! There were some explosions!" I smiled.
"ALRIGHT I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!! PREPARE TO DIE!" Vegeta shouted as he dove for me. I leaped up and stuck out my tongue.
"You have to catch me first!" I said disappearing.
"C'mon Kakarrot! We got fish to fry." Vegeta said as he dragged Goku off.
On a train…
"Remind me why we are doing this Vegeta?" Goku asked.
"Because humans are known to travel on these things. Primitive idiots." Vegeta said. Goku rolled his eyes and decided it was best to humour him. Goku stuck his head out of the train.
"Wooo, woooo! I think I can! I think I can!" Goku laughed.
"Get back in here Kakarrot! You are such an idiot!" Vegeta shouted.
"Well if I'm such an idiot, how come you are looking for someone on a train when they can fly?" Goku asked. Vegeta banged his head repeatedly on the chair in front of him as Goku put his hand on Vegeta's shoulder and teleported them home.
"Hey guys. Did you find her?" Bulma asked. She was sitting in the kitchen with Trunks.
"No. We didn't find her. We had a nice train ride though!" Goku replied. "I'll see ya later." He vanished.
"I still can't believe a girl got the best of me! Me! The Prince of all the Saiya-Jins!" Vegeta shouted as Bulma hit him with a frying pan.
"What was that Vegeta?" Bulma asked.
"Oh not with the Girl Power bit!" Vegeta said as he rolled his eyes. Bulma hit him again and knocked him with the frying pan repeatedly.
"Not the mamma!" Trunks laughed.
The End.
I know it was pretty pointless but I had to finish it somehow! Anyway leave a review!!