Richard's Tale
So who will go first? the chap quickly asked,
Hoping her wishes would soon be passed,
For she wasn't looking forward to porn in her car,
Especially with her daughter as one of the stars.
I think I will, Richard smiled, to kick things off,
I'll tell a tale that will make your heart grow soft.
Good good, said the chaperone, sighing with relief,
And the story followed, with not much more grief.
Richard's Tale
Deep in a burrow in the Mojave Desert,
A warren of Rabbits were alarmed deep in the dirt,
For one young lad, with fur of shining silk,
Whose gait was quick and flowed like milk,
Who all the girls swooned over as he passed,
Was the subject of why the clan was aghast,
For their suspicions rose when he snuck out at night,
When he was spied on, they found it wasn't just for a bite,
He'd done the forbidden, and the warren was mad,
He'd brought shame to his family, his mom and his dad,
Because although love is known to be quite blind,
T'was a horror who this young one wined and dined.
the chief called his name in a fit,
What say you young one, why did you do it?
But this young rabbit, this specimen fine,
Answered not, gave neither speech nor sign.
Look young sir, you'd normally be chastised,
But I'll give you a warning, for sooth you are baptized,
Cease your nightly leave and love one of your kind,
For you can never sneak about, we watch your behind.
Thus Locoweed could go to his quarters to think about his actions,
And how he'd engaged in the fellowship of ungodly factions,
And the chief believed that fear he had instilled,
That Locoweed's wandering ideas had in the bud been killed,
However as soon as night fell upon the dusty land,
Loco was quick to leave his burrow and race across the sand,
To a tiny mobile home where the stench of meth was abound,
To the cage of his heart's love, the sweet thing he'd found.
I will free you, sweet Minnie Lee, he cried,
And for her freedom he'd have even died.
He might eternally burn in the staunchness of hell,
For taking a bite of the forbidden fruit that fell,
But care he did not, his emotions didn't curdle,
Though his paramour was an aquatic box turtle.
Oh dearest Locoweed, the turtle did rave,
The world would be ours if me you could save!
I'd rather be with no other than you, cherub sweet,
Though our love's continuation will be a great feat.
Locoweed's heart was a flutter, as he could tell,
Nothing had more beauty than Minnie Lee's golden shell.
Minnie Lee my fellow rabbits warned me not to come tonight,
But their interference is ignored, it just isn't right!
With that speech Locoweed shook in anger,
For because of his amore his life was in danger,
Something innocent and sweet might cause his demise,
He kissed Minnie Lee quickly with tears in his eyes,
If I die now in my mission I will fail,
He surmised, then turned back and turned tail.
Locoweed, poor thing, didn't think he'd be caught,
But as soon as he returned he was surrounded, hands red and hot.
We know where you've been, the chief began to speak,
And we like it not, why are you such a freak?
For this you will be punished, your execution is to be
The day after next, for all the bunnies to see.
Locoweed was stunned, and was dragged to jail,
A cell in which no one could try and post bail.
His parents cried, of course, though they did agree,
That Locoweed's punishment had come deservedly.
So thus the days past as he sat in hunger and wait,
When he was taken by guards to his final fate.
The rabbits gathered round, for a disturbing rite,
Of head-butting the victim to their untimely final good night.
Locoweed was cornered, and he went tharn in fear,
Too still to even shed for his love a single tear.
But saved he was, but something almost too good to be true!
A coyote on the lookout for some great rabbit stew!
The aggressors did scatter, and Locoweed ran as fast as he ever had,
To the terrarium of his dearest, his forever love, he was so glad
That he out paced the coyote, and another bunny he nabbed,
But when he reached the home of his love, in the heart he was jabbed.
She was in the company of a rather dashing horny toad,
And she had obviously left him for one who blended with the road.
Heart broken, Locoweed left, sobbing like the world's flay,
Not knowing what to do, he had no where he could stay.
He ran and ran and ran and thought he had nothing to live for,
When all the sudden a voice rang clear and knocked at his heart's door.
Why are you so sad, she said, her voice as sweet as sugar,
Locoweed looked up to see, while sniffing a stray booger.
She was the most beauteous, lovely thing he'd ever met,
A ground squirrel with eyes quite widely set.
I think I shall be fine, he said, with a smile debonair,
For soon enough Minnie Lee wasn't of his care.
Words Between Richard and those in the Van
You're brilliant, Linda cheered, while kissing her fair date,
Why how romantic, what a tale, before our night so late.
The others were quite disposed to sit still and reflect,
Upon how much sap one story could possibly collect.
You think that was good, said David, with a sneer,
I'll tell one that will make you shed a tear,
For it has heroes, and a princess, and a kingdom of fungi,
Why, in this story, there's all pieces of the pie.
You'll wonder why I've never before shared such a piece,
It would make the grandest musical since Ragtime or Grease!
Linda wasn't quite so sure, then let's hear it, Mother Goose,
I don't think that Richard's tale you can spruce,
But you may as well try and fail, that's your freedom of speech,
But there's no way Richard's prowess you could ever reach!
David sneered and called her dare,
You'll see, my maiden fair,
That I can indeed make that fool's story sound like holy hell,
Because mine will have you bound in its compelling spell!
With that the host dreaded what was to come,
For David was one with less cooth than most everyone,
But everyone else apprehended some humor,
Though it might be as funny as their Grandma's tumor,
And were quiet, set to listen to what promised to be okay at the most
If not one of them could surely show him up with their grander boast.