Piccolo 1,
Goku Yet To Score!
Disclaimer:
I don't own any of the characters/shows/quotes/songs/products that I mention.
A/N:
May I give you warning I am extra hyper today because IT SNOWED ON FRIDAY!! PROPERLY!!
I mean usually it snows for two minutes and it doesn't even settle. I haven't
seen snow like this in five years!! IT SNOWED BABY!!! YEAH!! Sorry, I am just
too excited! Oh yeah another warning, I have watched almost every animated
series under the Sun at least once and then some. Enjoy the fic! It's dedicated
to Nicholas Brendon who done an outstanding performance of the Snoopy Dance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chi-Chi
walked pass the room and sighed. Goku had now been in there for the last three
weeks doing who knows what. All he would do was come down for food, he wouldn't
even train with Vegeta. Chi-Chi was really worried so she knocked on the door.
"Goku?"
She called but there was no answer. She knocked even harder and continued
knocking until Goku answered the door. Chi-Chi gasped at the horrible sight
before her. Goku looked like death, literally. His face was all bony and tired,
his hair was messier and floppier, he smelled…bad and he had actually grown a
beard.
"What
do you want?" Goku rasped, his breath smelled too.
"I
just wanted to know WHAT THE HELL YOU HAVE BEEN DOING IN HERE FOR THE LAST
THREE WEEKS!!" Chi-Chi yelled.
"I
have been working on my revenge." Goku rasped.
"Do
you mind not rasping? In case you haven't noticed your toothbrush hasn't
been used." Chi-Chi said. Goku glared (Goku? Glaring? NOOOO!!) at Chi-Chi and
folded his arms.
"If
you must know, which apparently you must, I have been in here for the last
three weeks watching TV non-stop to get my revenge on Piccolo. I now have
watched every decent show on the face of the planet! I have the upper edge!
Nothing will stop me! Now if you excuse me I will be down this evening." Goku
said. Goten walked by and saw his father only he didn't recognise him. His face
went like this @_@.
"Ohmigosh!
This is where you have been hiding! Listen to me Mr Foley, may I call you Mick?
Okay Mick, the McMahon's have been taking over and the show really sucks
without you…"
"Hey
son!" Goku rasped.
"D…Dad?!
Woah! I swear I didn't recognise you! It's the beard dad, lose it." Goten said
and walked downstairs. Goku slammed the door shut.
"I
must remember to never come between Goku and revenge again. I do like my sanity
after all." Chi-Chi said.
Later that
evening…
"YEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!
I'VE DONE IT!!! WAHOOOO!!!" Goku came running down the stairs. Fortunately he
had decided to shower first. He did a various amount of happy dances including
the Snoopy Dance.
"What
are you so happy about Dad?" Goten asked but was promptly ignored as Goku did
the splits.
"GOKU!!!"
Chi-Chi yelled.
"Yes
dear?"
"I'm
afraid to ask this but, what exactly are you planning to do?" Chi-Chi asked. A
mischievous smile played across Goku's face.
"If
I told you that it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" Goku said. "All I will
tell you is that he will get his comeuppance tomorrow."
"Isn't
the Tenkachi Boudakai tomorrow?" Goten asked. Goku nodded happily or evilly,
whichever you'd prefer.
"Woooooow!
I feel good! Da na na na na na na! I knew that I would now! Da na na na na na
na! So good! So good! I gotta you!" Goku sang and went into the kitchen for a
snack.
"Oy,
as usual, vey!" Chi-Chi said massaging her temples.
Next morning…
"Aw
please Chi-Chi?" Goku asked pouting.
"NO!"
"Please?"
"No
way!"
"Why
not?"
"You've
been stuck in a room for the last three weeks and you expect me to let you
drive my car?"
"But
it's my car! I bought it! It's under my name!" Goku whined. Chi-Chi just sighed
and gave him the keys. Goku started hopping up and down. "Thank you!" The three
of them climbed into the car. Goku raised the air car and drove off to the
arena. An evil smile crossed his face and he slammed his foot on the gas.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Goku and Goten yelled as Goku turned the car upside down.
"Ooh
lookit! There's our turn!" Goku yelled as he sharply turned the car left
causing Chi-Chi to hold on for dear life. Goku promptly stopped the car causing
Goten to fall out.
"Owchies."
Goten said as he got off of the floor. The three of them walked to the entrance
and saw Vegeta and his family.
"Veggie-dude!"
Goku yelled as he waved to Vegeta. Vegeta just gave him a dirty look. Vegeta
went to the signing post.
"I
don't know why I'm asking but why aren't you signing up?" Vegeta asked.
"I've
got other things on my agenda…" Goku said as he disappeared.
"I
swear that guy scares me sometimes." Vegeta muttered to himself. The rest of
the Z senshi was there, including Piccolo, warming up for the battle. What they
didn't know was that Goku had kidnapped the judges and all the officials so
that he could carry out his master plan. As they waited for their opponents to
be announced Krillin asked a very important question.
"Hey,
where's Goku?" He asked as the rest of them shrugged.
"Are
you looking for me?" Goku's voice boomed.
"This
would be the indication of an impending doom." Yamcha stated nonchalantly.
"I
have been humiliated long enough and now it is time for my revenge!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Goku yelled.
"Oh
boy…" Gohan muttered.
"But
Goku! If you do it here innocent people will get hurt!" Trunks yelled hitting
Goku's weak point.
"Oh…well
then no problem!" Goku said as the Z senshi found themselves in a stadium. It
had at least 2000 seats in all four sides of the arena, there was a big space
in the middle but the seats weren't filled. Yet. Goku flew down on a rope and
landed in front of them.
"Nice!"
Tien commented.
"I
give it a nine." Krillin said. Goku scanned to see who was here, his face
suddenly darkened.
"ALRIGHT!!
WHERE THE HELL IS HE?!" Goku yelled causing everyone to cringe because of the
echo.
"Dare
I ask who?" Goten said.
"Piccolo!
For Kami's sake haven't you been listening? Haven't you been paying attention?
Even I have more sense then that!" Goku yelled as he pulled a knife out of his
pocket and threw it to an unknown destination. The destination was a switch at
the end of the stadium, which turned on the lights and the scoreboard in the
stadium. Gohan looked at the scoreboard and read it aloud.
"How
many times I can embarrass Piccolo and How many times he can avoid the
embarrassment. Oh boy."
Goku
looked around frantically but couldn't find him. He let out an enraged scream
and grabbed Krillin by the collar.
"Krillin,
you're gonna be my butt-hound." Goku seethed.
"You're
butt-hound? Don't you mean bloodhound?" Krillin asked but Goku just gave him a
Death Glare.
"YOU
are gonna be my butt-hound okay! We're gonna search every tree house,
every doghouse, every playhouse and every normal house! I want that foogative
back in custardy." Goku yelled insanely and zipped out of the stadium. The rest
of them just stood there with blank expressions on their face.
"So…what
now?" Chi-Chi asked.
Back in Western City…
"Goku, I know that right now finding Piccolo is the most important thing to but can we stop? I think my spine is numb from walking like this!" Krillin yelled but Goku hit him with a rolled up newspaper.
"Quit
complaining! All dogs walk on all fours!" Goku shouted.
"Well
in case you haven't noticed I'M NOT A DOG!" Krillin yelled and Goku hit him
with the newspaper again.
"This
officially sucks ass…" Krillin muttered. Suddenly Goku stopped. He stood in
front of a shop that said MAGIC.
"Well
hello Mr Lincoln! Cha-ching!!!" Goku said as he rubbed his hands together
menacingly.
Piccolo
ran fast. He had no idea where he was running to but anywhere was safer than
where Goku was. Piccolo stopped and swiped a bottle of water from a man who was
jogging.
"Wait
a sec! I must be totally crazy! I don't run from anybody! Not even an insane
Goku! I will return to my impending doom and face it like a man…but I'm not a
man…well I'll just face it!" Piccolo said returning to the stadium.
Goku
had bought the necessary supplies from the shop and left it. He stopped for a
moment and a malicious grin appeared on his face.
"Um,
why are you smiling like that?" Krillin asked.
"He
has fallen into my trap. I knew that his pride would overcome his common sense
sooner or later. Lucky for me it was sooner."
"So
did ya happen to hit your head again or are you drunk? Coz you seem kind of
crazy ever since we scared you into that heart attack."
"It's
this damn author. She doesn't like to write me stupid so she writes me as an
insane genius."
"Bum-mer."
"Well,
let's go!" Goku said grabbing Krillin and teleporting back to the stadium.
Everyone else was either eating or taking a tour.
"HEL-LO!!"
Goku yelled, everyone turned his or her attention to him. "I'm back and Piccolo
should be entering the building just about now." Goku said and as if on cue
Piccolo came walking into the building, his cape being blown by the wind that
comes from nowhere.
"I
knew you'd be back." Goku said.
"Well
I'm not one to run." Piccolo replied.
"Not
for very long anyway." Goku countered. They both stared each other down. There
was a loud crunching noise as everyone turned to see Goten and Trunks munching
on popcorn.
"Sorry."
They both replied. Goku took a small bottle out of his bag. It contained a
greenie-blue coloured liquid. Goku downed it in one gulp. A strange black cloud
engulfed him and he was dressed in long black robes.
"Cool."
Goku commented.
"What
the hell has happened to you?" Bulma asked.
"This
potion has given me powers both natural and supernatural. I now have the
intellect required for my scheme to take place. I am now superior to all of you
in each and every way. You shall no longer refer to me as 'Goku' or 'Kakarrot',
I am now the unquestioned commander and you shall refer to me as such." Goku
finished. Everyone looked at him with mouths wide open.
"Okay
Such, I'd like to know why the rest of us are here. If your beef is with
Piccolo then by all means hamburger him. No offence dude." Krillin said.
"None
taken." Piccolo replied.
"The
rest of you are here because I wanted witnesses to my mass destruction." Goku
said evenly and calmly. Everyone was scared to the bone. "Of course I want more
than just you guys." Goku said, waving a hand and placing them in the stands.
Goku waved his hand again and every single animated character I can remember
was in the stands, ripped from their shows.
"Why
you little…hey where are we?" Homer asked, Bart chose this moment to escape
from his father's grasp and hide behind his mother.
"Mama!
Mama! Where are ya Mama?" Johnny Bravo yelled.
"So
where are we exactly?" Fry asked.
"Dunno
chump but if we don't get outta here soon a certain cyclops is gonna kiss my
shiny metal ass." Bender replied, chugging some beer.
"Omae
o korosu!" Heero yelled whipping out his gun.
"Calm
down there buddy, I don't think that will help matters much." Duo laughed.
"Duo's
right, there is no need for violence." Quatre said.
"Hmph.
Weaklings." Wufei replied. Trowa just made like the background. Unseen and
unheard.
"Hey,
where are we?" Tweek asked.
"I
dunno but there better be some babes around if ya know what I mean." Reggie
replied.
"Reggie,
you are such a pig!" Kibble shouted.
"Now
calm down you two!" Winston said adjusting his monocle.
"As
long as there ain't no trains here I'll be fine." Caboose said. Goku waited for
the rest of the crowd to calm down. He could not wait any longer.
"SHUT
UP!!" Goku yelled. The crowd instantly fell silent. "Now I'm sure you are all
wondering what you are doing here…"
"YA
GOT THAT RIGHT!" Top Cat yelled.
"I
wanted an audience to witness my greatest triumph!" Goku said.
"Dude!
That is totally uncool!" Michelangelo yelled.
"I've
gotta agree with the overgrown turtle here." Heathcliff said smugly.
"Who
are you calling overgrown? We're mutants!" Donatello shouted.
"This
is beginning to give me a headache!" Goku muttered.
"AH!
HE'S A JAPANESE CARTOON!! COVER YOUR EYES!! YOU'LL GET A SEIZURE!" Homer
yelled.
"Wrong
cartoon dad." Lisa replied. Goku waved his hands again and all of the cartoon
characters were gone except Bender, Fry, Homer and the G-boys. Stewie was there
too, just for good measure.
"Less
interruptions. Now! Piccolo, are you ready to face your doom?" Goku asked.
"More
ready than a glass of water in a fridge." Piccolo said as everyone gave him a
funny look.
End of this part…
Well there ya go! It was gonna be longer but I decided to save your eyes the trouble. Extra points for anyone that can name every show that I mentioned some characters from. There is one I betcha you can't!