Part 3… this is from Roger's point of view now…
I take off down Avenue A. I have no idea where I'm going. I hit Mark. I can't believe it. I slow my pace down as I round the corner and take out my cigarettes. I fumble with a match to get one lit. I pretend to not notice my hands are shaking. Collins? How could we lose Collins now? Why didn't I get to say good-bye? How much more death do I have to face? I HATE THIS FUCKING DISEASE!
I don't want to dwell on it. I've had enough, I knew Collins was going to die eventually. Just not so…. No! I'm not going to think about it anymore. I try to think other things. I have no control over my mind though. I picture my parents and the looks on their faces when I told them yesterday. My mother looked as if I was already dead, and my dad… well if he didn't hate me before, he sure as hell does now.
I remember way back to my days with April. I played with my band, hung out with her. Mark and I were always causing trouble. We actually used to have fun together. Then April's and my partying got a little too serious. We withdrew from the world into our own clouds of whatever. I miss that feeling. That mind numbing feeling that takes the pain away. Of course, what did I know about pain then? I thought my problems were so huge, and really they were nothing. I wish I could go back in time to that place.
I start thinking about Mimi. All the times she pretended she wasn't using and I knew she was. I wasn't tempted at all to join her. I wanted to help her, to get her to stop. All she was doing was living "no day but today." She was enjoying herself during her life. How could I try and stop that?
I find myself on an old corner that I haven't seen in years. It looks exactly the same, same bum in the corner sleeping, same hot dog vender, and the same dealer. I already made my decision, and I feel the adrenaline rushing though me as I approach him.
"Well well, long time no see."