A heartbeat is a peculiar thing. Most people take it for granted, never dwelling on the steady rhythm inside their chest. Others are so aware of it that they find themselves feeling for their pulse every other minute, each time expecting that next beat to be their last. There are moments when we become acutely conscious of it--anticipation, infatuation, fear--when it can be felt pounding up into our eardrums. Those are the moments we remember. When the melody played by the heart gets engraved upon our souls. Sometimes, with those memorable heartbeats, we would rather forget.
Laguna Loire sat anxiously behind his desk in the Presidential Palace. He fidgeted terribly as his gaze repeatedly fell upon the pictures (which took up most of the space on his desk) in front of him. There was one of Ellone standing in front of the newly remodeled Kramer Orphanage, which she zealously ran with help from Edea; another one was of Kiros, Ward, and himself from back when they were soldiers for Galbadia; there was a very cherished one of Raine; and the newest addition, which caught his eye the most right now, was of him and Squall. Both were smiling brightly with their arms around each other, and a rather boisterous Rinoa was poking her head between them with her arms around them both. Looking at it now, Laguna felt as if he wanted to laugh and cry all at once.
He had received a phone call from Squall that morning, saying that he needed to speak with him right away. Squall wouldn't say what it was about over the phone, but Laguna could tell by the strain in his son's voice that it wasn't going to be good news.
(Squall should be arriving soon) Laguna thought restlessly.
He had said that he would pick Ellone up on the way there, so Laguna understood that it would take Squall a little longer than usual. Still, time moved unbearably slow, gnawing away at Laguna as he continued to stare at the pictures on his desk...
"Mr. President?" came his secretary's voice from the intercom.
Laguna jumped, broken from his contemplation. He fumbled with the button frantically. "Y-Yes?"
"Your son and niece are here to see you, sir."
Laguna breathed in deeply to calm his nerves. "Send them in."
The morning had begun so beautifully; sunshine, blue sky. Clear and lovely, like everyday on the desert-like continent. It seldom rained in Esthar, being such an arid place. But that afternoon, when time paused for grief and heartbeats were stilled, the clouds eclipsed the sun, and it poured.
-----
Squall fell exhaustedly into bed that dreary night. It had been a long, agonizing day, but somehow he had survived it.
Laguna and Ellone reacted just as Squall predicted they would. There had been angry outbursts, falling tears, and deep, long embraces to collapse into. It was a great comfort to have them both so caring and loving, but nothing seemed capable of lifting the overcast clouds from Squall's fate.
It had only been a few days since Squall had found out about his disease, but already he could see and feel the change in everyone around him. He himself had yet to suffer from any symptoms, but they were all being so careful, so tentative towards him. He couldn't take a step without ten people holding their breaths and rushing to help him. Things were turning out exactly how Squall didn't want them to. Couldn't they understand that all he wanted was to live what life he had left as normally as possible; that he didn't want any special treatment?
(I want to live each day as fully as I can, not as if I'm made of glass ready to shatter!) Squall thought angrily.
He sat alone in bed, tossing his clothes unto the floor, and kicking his boots off absently. The past few nights he had slept alone, actually. It wasn't that he didn't want Rinoa there, he just had so much he needed to figure out on his own.
(Laguna's probably handling this the best out of everyone) Squall thought, falling back unto his pillow. (He wants to step up our time together, not be overly cautious with it)
Laguna planned to arrive at Balamb Garden the next afternoon. He was leaving Esthar in Kiros and Ward's hands for the time being, so that he could be with his son.
(Well, I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore, or let anyone else feel sorry for me, either.) Squall went on. (I refuse to fade away...) Squall closed his eyes, digging deep into his pillow.
If only he was prepared for what tomorrow would bring...
-----
Laguna arrived right on schedule that afternoon, with big plans for a "guy's day out." Rinoa and the girls, on the other hand, would be in Deling City all day, partially to give the boys some time alone, but with some hidden agendas as well.
"So, where to first?" Selphie asked brightly, bounding out of the Ragnorok. "Shopping? Lunch? Bar hopping?"
Quistis shot her a disapproving glance.
"I was only kidding!" she giggled.
"Why don't you guys head over to the shopping center," Rinoa put in. "I'll meet you for lunch in a few hours."
"Not wasting any time I see," Quistis stated carefully. "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"
Rinoa looked away towards the magnificent city beyond them. It was even more spectacular than it had been a year ago, having prospered greatly under the new president.
She sighed, turning back to her friend with a weak smile. "I have to,"
They continued into town, breaking company at the station to take different trolleys. Rinoa headed for the Presidential Residence. There was someone she needed to see.
The elaborate building pierced high into the sky, looming above her as she approached. She walked through the gates with complete confidence, however, straight past the guards to the front door. Upon entering, she called to a servant whom she passed to inform the president of her arrival, and then made her way to the library to wait.
Rinoa stood by a large bay window at the back of the room, staring out at the city that seemed so far away. When the president entered a few minutes later, she was still standing by the window with her back to the entrance.
"Well, this is a surprise," he said softly, genuinely, "I can't believe you're here."
Rinoa turned at the sound of his voice, her face a mask of emotions impossible to decipher. "Nice to see you, too...Dad."
-----
"Dad..." Squall said again. "...what exactly do you have planned for us today anyway?"
Laguna didn't answer, seemingly lost in thought.
"Laguna?"
"Huh? Oh, sorry," Laguna answered sheepishly, shaking his head. "Still getting used to you calling me Dad,"
Squall's cheeks reddened a little, and his gaze dropped to the floor. Until recently, Squall had always referred to Laguna as Laguna. It just seemed so odd to think of him as his father. "I figured it was about time we did get used to it," Squall stated.
A moment passed between them, something near tangible, and so very real. Squall almost cringed at the pain in his chest produced by that moment. Did he really have so little time left with his...with his father?
"Lighten up, mates!" Irvine called, snapping things back to reality. "We're supposed have fun today, right? So what are we going to do?"
The three of them, along with Zell and a slightly reluctant Seifer, stood just outside the Dormitory. It was originally planned to just be Squall, Laguna, Zell, and Irvine, but at the last moment Squall decided to ask Seifer to join them. It had been a little difficult, but Squall felt he owed Seifer at least that much, and they both truly wanted to put everything behind them.
"Well..." Laguna began with a clumsy, little smirk, "I thought we'd spend some time in that Training Center of yours. See if you boys can keep up with me,"
The boys laughed heartily at the comment.
"Is that a challenge, Grandpa?" Zell teased, shadowboxing as usual as he hopped from foot to foot.
"Hey, I've still got a few moves left in me." Laguna countered. "Besides, I'm no grandpa yet." He turned his head worriedly to Squall for a moment. "Right?"
Squall laughed and shook his head, "Right,"
"Well, then, let's head over there and see what ya got! Just remember, I was fighting off monsters before you were even born!"
They chuckled again, enjoying a light, humorous conversation all the way to the Training Center. It gave them the chance to forget their burdens of fate for a moment, which was a very welcome change.
-----
"Come on, Quistis, smile already! We're shopping, not grading papers or giving some boring lecture!"
"I'm sorry, Selph. I just can't get my mind off of Squall and Rinoa..."
Selphie and Quistis had been browsing about the shops for nearly twenty minutes, but though Selphie was continuously enthralled by some great bargain or amazing article of clothing, Quistis seemed a million miles away.
"Whatcha thinkin' about 'em?" Selphie asked, plopping herself onto a nearby bench. Quistis joined her.
"About this whole mess..." she sighed. "Squall...dying...Laguna coming, Rinoa off speaking with her father, who she hasn't said nearly two coherent words to in years. Just...all of it! They're both dealing with so much right now and there's nothing we can do to help,"
"But they're dealing with it, and we are a lot of help," Selphie replied. "Squall's still got plenty of time left, and it's great that Rinoa went to talk with President Caraway, and...well, I just love that Sir Laguna's here!"
Quistis had to smile at her friend's ever present enthusiasm and optimism. She had such a good, kind heart. "I know," Quistis admitted. "I suppose I just have this horrible feeling that something is going to happen to make things even worse." she sighed again, leaning back into the bench. "Maybe I'm just being paranoid..."
"That's exactly what you're being!" Selphie cried, jumping up. "Now, come on, let's have a little fun! Everything will be just fine. What could go wrong with Sir Laguna at the Garden?"
Quistis smiled, submitting to Selphie's pull on her hand to get up, and following her along the shopping strip once again.
(She's right. What could go wrong...?)
-----
"You call that handling a gun?" Irvine shouted mockingly. "This is how you handle a gun!" He proceeded to shoot a Grat in front of them with a trick shot from behind his back.
Laguna merely smiled, firing at a stealthy T-Rexar that had snuck up behind Irvine. "A lot of good cheap tricks do you if you're dead!"
The five of them had been getting a pretty good workout in the Training Center, and Laguna hadn't lost a step since his glory days. At the rate they were going, there wouldn't be a monster left by the end of the day.
"Pretty impressive, for an old-timer," Irvine smirked. The two of them had gotten into a little contest of firepower, and Irvine was far from admitting that he was falling behind.
"Give it up, Cowboy," Seifer called to him. "If he's anything like his son, I doubt you have a chance,"
Squall smiled secretively. The two of them had really started to enjoy fighting on the same side, and they proved to be a pretty impressive team. As for Zell, he was holding his own quite well, adding antagonistic juices when needed.
"So, finally admitting he's better than ya, huh, Seifer?" Zell shouted gleefully.
Seifer turned towards him smugly. "Hey, I never said that," he stated. Then, a little under his breath, "...chicken-wuss,"
Zell's sharp senses picked up the old nickname clearly, and when Seifer turned away from him, he charged head on. Seifer was taken completely by surprise as Zell tackled him from behind, sending his gunblade flying.
Squall, Laguna, and Irvine looked on humorously as they wrestled on the ground. It didn't take Zell long to get Seifer into a headlock, pinning him down. After all, Zell fought just as fiercely without a weapon as Seifer did with one.
"Dangit, Dincht! Let me up!" Seifer cried.
"Not till you admit I'm better than you!"
The others couldn't help but laugh at the situation.
"At hand to hand...I admit it," Seifer grumbled. "Now get off!"
Zell stayed there a moment, thinking things over. "On one more condition," he said thoughtfully.
"What?"
Zell smirked triumphantly. "Promise not to ever call me chicken-wuss again--"
"No problem."
"I'm not done yet!" Zell cut him off. "Also...will ya let me see your gunblade?"
Seifer laughed. "Sure,"
They all moved back to the safe zone of the Training Center for some needed rest. Irvine and Laguna got into a heated discussion over whether shotguns or machine guns were better, Zell was prancing about with Seifer's gunblade, and Seifer and Squall had seated themselves on the grass.
"Think Zell missed his true calling?" Squall asked jokingly as Zell swung the Hyperion madly through the air.
Seifer chuckled. "Oh yeah, he's a natural."
"Funny, guys," Zell stated sarcastically, dashing in front of them. "Hey, look at me, I'm Seifer Almasy!" he shouted then, swinging the gunblade with one hand. "I fight like a sissy-boy and make googoo eyes at Instructor Trepe!"
Seifer glared at him. "Ha ha,"
Squall laughed, leaning back on his elbows. This day had been just what he needed. A chance to live, to have fun, to remember what each day is supposed to be about. He passed his gaze over his friends, his father, his old enemy, and a peace settled in his restless heart.
Moments pass in our lives that we wish we could hold captive forever, so that we could relive them over and over again. This was one of those moments for Squall Leonheart, and as with most others like it, this moment was far too short.
As Squall moved his eyes over his surroundings, his vision seemed to blur, the voices around him dimmed, and a sense of dizziness and nausea swept over him. Instinctively, he tried to stand in order to clear his head, but he immediately stumbled back to the ground.
"Whoa, Squall. Are you alright?" Seifer asked, concerned.
"...yeah...just dizzy is all..." he said weakly.
"Maybe we'd better bring you to Dr. Kadowaki to be sure,"
Laguna and Irvine had made there way over to them, and tried to help Squall stand.
"No! I can do it on my own..." he cried, pushing them away. He managed to stand this time, but after barely a step, that feeling of dizziness and nausea swept over him again, and his vision went dark.
He didn't remember hitting the ground, and later, he would barely remember the delirium of voices that swam in and out of his hearing.
(...Squall...oh God...)
(...quick...get help...)
(...hang on...we're getting the doctor...)
(...don't try to move...)
(...no...this can't be happening...)
(...we're here for ya...Squall...)
(...stay with us...)
(...not yet...please...)
(...don't leave me...son...)
-----
A world away, an abandoned father, and a resentful daughter, were just beginning to get reacquainted.
"Remember the time I caught you in your mother's pearls and high heals? You must have had ten pounds of makeup on your face!" President Caraway laughed.
"Hey, I was only three!" Rinoa laughed in return. "You got all mad, but mom just thought it was the cutest thing! Remember, Dad, all the pictures she took?"
They were seated across from each other in the large library, where they had been for the past hour and a half. Things had begun a little rocky, but what needed to be said had been said. They hugged, asked for forgiveness, gave forgiveness, and were now reliving fond memories of the past.
"It's so good to hear you call me that again," Caraway said warmly. "I just wish we hadn't--"
"Lost so much time," Rinoa finished. "It's my fault really. I pushed you away after mom died."
Caraway leaned forward, placing his hands over hers. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'm just glad that we're together now."
Rinoa's face lit up and she grabbed his hand firmly in both of hers. "You must come back with me to the Garden to meet Squall!" she cried joyfully. "I know you've met before, but now..."
"I understand," Caraway replied. "It shouldn't be too difficult for me to get away. Besides, how could I pass up spending time with the young man who's stolen my little girl's heart?"
Rinoa blushed.
"I know things must be hard for you right now," he added seriously. "How are you handling his...condition?"
Rinoa opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a servant who entered. "Excuse me, Sir," the servant began, closing the door behind him. "I know you said that you didn't want to be disturbed, but there's an urgent phone call for Miss Heartilly,"
Rinoa sprang up from her chair. "Who is it?" she asked nervously.
"A Mr. Seifer Almasy. He says it's very important,"
The servant produced a phone, which Rinoa snatched sharply from his hand. "Seifer? What is it? What's happened?" she asked frantically.
A few moments passed as she listened to the other end of the line. Soon, her already pale face lost what color there was left to loose.
The phone dropped from her trembling hand.
"...oh my God..."
tbc...
A/N: I can just imagine how angry you all are that I ended with another cliff hanger, but I couldn't help myself. If you're curious as to what will happen next, I should have the next part up next weekend, and I will finish the whole thing over my wonderfully long X-mas break! Sorry again for taking so long. Remember, if you want more, tell me so! Please Review!