A Pain That Won't Leave
By Soul Hunter
Part Two
A step past two that the crimson-cloaked figure made was abruptly interrupted by a cognizance not quite unexpected. Darting his alerted eyes around, the enigmatic man with raven locks and a sullen face stills the noise from his beating heart, exercising the routine learned long ago as he focused his undivided attention toward what he thought was an alien presence in this otherwise undisturbed territory.
There seems to be nothing out of the ordinary, with the same barely moving waters providing hardly a sound loud enough to stir the serene atmosphere. And yet, the perception of abnormality persists inside his psyche. As it should be, he surmises, since the absence of such an anomaly would itself be anomalous considering how he was drawn back into this place of sadness for no apparent reason.
He knows there's something wrong. He can smell the stench of the mystery that roused him from his quiet slumber not a few days previous, prior to a decision that made him travel the many miles en route to this excruciatingly memorable place ironically described to be forgotten. A slight difference in the pattern of the undulating waters in the silent lagoon pulled him to a spot where, some time ago, a friend of his was laid to rest.
The ever-somber soul fought the urge to explore its depths, not knowing how he would react to a sight he knows he should expect.
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"Marlene, you know how daddy always taught you never to tell a lie." Cloud slowly said in giving emphasis to an age-old virtue that he hopes the little girl with a satin headband in her hair has learned to give value. Marlene's eyes consequently became sheepish, reflecting her struggles in trying to let him know of her honesty.
"But it's true! I'm not telling a lie, Uncle Cloud. I saw her cooking early this morning after she saw Mimi. I wanted to wake you but Mommy Elmyra told me never to disturb anyone who's sleeping."
Trying not to vent his ire on the innocent girl, Cloud breathed a few in his effort to clear his head. This morning is not going pretty well, he thought, especially with the prospect of seeing the return of someone whom he knows to be long gone. An initial feeling of thrill overtook him while considering the possibility, then it was followed by the sudden chill enveloping his suddenly sweaty hands. Cloud wondered, if Marlene is indeed not imagining things, how could such a thing be possible?
Understandably, he wasn't able to keep himself from recalling a deep-seated memory he fought so hard to bury inside the deepest crevices of his heart. A remembrance that on its time of occurrence, brought the sharpest slice of pain he had ever experienced. A memory that at this very moment he discovered to be just as debilitating and tormenting as it was before. Why is this? How could something that took place in an imprisoned past not lose the sting it brandished over the transpired years that should have weathered it out?
This can't be right, Cloud hollered in his mind. Some cruel idiot must be playing a malicious prank at them.
Is that what he wanted to believe?
"What's the commotion all about, you two?" A refreshed-looking Elmyra emerged from the portal separating the kitchen from the dining room. "Don't tell me Mimi's acting up again"
Cloud tossed an indifferent look at Elmyra, which had to last for a brief moment as he was wary of her decoding the message behind it. It's bad enough that he had to have his morning ruined by this bewildering news. And the blonde-haired warrior knew only too well not to share the burgeoning embattlement on the person who would probably be hit the hardest with this development. And yet, the urge to let Elmyra know of Marlene's account tried to fight. If there is substance to it, the former sector 6 housewife would discover it sooner or later.
"Uh um nothing, Elmyra. Nothing at all."
"Uncle Cloud doesn't believe me when I told him the flow UMMPPHHHH!" was Marlene's startled muffling when Cloud suddenly covered her mouth with his hands. But it was too late to escape Elmyra's suspicion.
"Cloud, is there anything I should know about?" She suspiciously asked.
"You? Know about? N-No no!" He responded elusively. "What do you need to know about anyway?"
"Cloud" Elmyra muttered under her breath. "Does this have to do something with Tifa and her visitor?"
"Visit what?!? What visitor?!?"
Elmyra looked at Cloud, as if surprised that she didn't know anything about the murmuring noises she heard upstairs when she passed by Tifa's door.
"I think they're inside her room. I was going to knock to wake her up but I didn't want to interrupt them, whoever it is up there with her. Maybe one of your friends arrived last ni"
His heart racing like never before, Cloud didn't wait for the middle-aged woman to complete her sentence, swiftly darting off his spot toward the suddenly dreadful stairway. Stopping just short of the uppermost step, the anxious Cloud felt his chest tighten while facing the prospect
Of seeing her again
"No this cannot be. This is not possible" He muttered while shaking his head vigorously. "I saw her I saw her die right in front of me. She breathed her last breath in these very arms" He continues his wallowing, raising his arms up as if they had turned back into the relic he once nurtured.
The very last part of his body that touched her before she ultimately submerged to her rest beneath a defiantly warm pool surrounded by frigid air. Cloud had wondered then, as he takes too much value in the last touch of her body whose warmth was slowly ebbing away together with the essence slowly escaping from it. Had he been able to do something during that time, would Aeris be with them still? Would he still be hearing her crisp laughter, her sweet and caring voice, her soft and faint lullabies that soothed him whenever he complained of battle pains?
Would he have escaped the lingering torments that had haunted him ever since that night a year ago that night that robbed him of the initial peace he gained for understanding why Aeris had to go? The blonde-haired lad had thought it over, finished and completed. The mysterious Ancient who just happened to be the most tender soul he had ever had the pleasure of knowing gave her life to release the ultimate power that they hoped will eventually vanquish the threat of Meteor. The pain was immense, excruciating, and yet he tried to understand. It's for the greater good, for the ultimate salvation of all who lived and breathed. It was the most selfless act of courage and love that anyone has ever seen.
And Cloud couldn't be more proud of the one whom he once called his beloved. A mighty feeling of regard that gave him the peace he sought and the fortitude he longed for in dealing with her absence. Yes, she had to go. That's the only way the world can be rescued from extinction.
And he was totally all right with that.
Until one dismal night when he heard her voice in the midst of his deep slumber. A night of his peace of mind's total turn around when he saw a vision of Aeris, with that utterly lovely face and the same echoing voice that called his name out loud. Cloud almost cursed that night for it suddenly brought him into a dreadful realization of how much he had been lying to himself. He had claimed happiness and contentment in the arms of the one who was always there for him. He had thought Tifa was the one meant for him.
That night, the only thing that preserved their relationship was the love Cloud regarded for Tifa. But that love was not whole. It was somewhat divided and certainly not monopolized by the one left living. And to Cloud's consternation, Tifa actually knew about the struggles he had to contend with. She knew about his mysterious doubt and lingering longing to settle things with himself and his heart. She was aware of his secret wish to once again see her best friend.
"Don't worry about me. I'm not gonna go all hysterical about this. Just take your time and let me know when you're ready" Tifa had told Cloud then. He remembered her smile and the sincere brilliance of her nigh-ebony eyes. He knew she meant what she said. And if only for that, Cloud could really not love anyone more.
But the stubborn question dwelling in his heart must be answered. How can he truly be happy in loving one when the memories of the other are still mightily kicking around, pushing him to always look back. Cloud had been wishing then of another chance to see her, to touch her and hear her wonderful resonance. He had wanted all these and more if only to know once and for all.
But Aeris breathed her last before his very eyes. She died in these wretched arms the same arms now trying their best to keep him from falling face-first on the floor.
And now, the innocent claim of a little girl not likely to lie professed that it was his lost beloved that gained Mimi's trust and prepared that wonderful meal whose tempting aroma are still lingering in his nostrils. And all points indicate the same yearned for soul that is now inside Tifa's bedroom, and actually talking to her.
It's just too good to be true it's almost painful.
But this is his chance. He must know.
However, an unexpected streak of doubt and angst suddenly tore through his otherwise anticipating heart. Cloud felt a darkness casting over his psyche as if becoming aware of a horrid soul ruthlessly playing with his heart's innermost wish.
The darkness of doubt and the light of wishfulness were already locked in bitter combat when he finally pushed the door open to see Tifa's quivering form tightly embracing one with that familiar thick, brown hair flying out with her perky spirit despite the loose braid holding them together. He saw Tifa's face, crying unabashedly, her fingers digging deep into this person's shoulders, reflecting the terrible ache of absence that he also had felt in himself, only a hundred-fold mightier.
He sees the face of the foreigner, that same face who once turned to him and told him that she'd be back when all this is over.
And Cloud felt his knees buckle.
End of Part Two