A Pain That Won't Leave
By Soul Hunter
Part Four
The look on her face betrayed the brimming joy in her heart, as her hands can't seem to stop themselves from traversing the smooth length of Aeris' long flowing hair. Elmyra's thoughts briefly wandered off, in a past that seemed so long ago. Her adopted daughter was barely in her teens then, with that hair starting to display its stunning magnificence that compelled her to take its shining brilliance into her hands and lovingly intertwine them into that familiar braid.
A mother's trivial but ultimately lasting gesture of love for her child.
The child that was lost to her in that monumental war against a force that sought the extinction of everyone who walked the face of the planet. The child who wasn't a child anymore when she unselfishly gave her whole being to the ultimate task of salvation. A child that Elmyra would have been extremely proud of if not for her untimely demise.
And now, that child is before her once more, as warm and animated as she was, as if the toxic embrace of death never really got hold of her. The questions that initially were spawned in the loving woman's mind eventually became moot in light of the happiness she is now feeling. Her beloved daughter is back, and that's all that mattered to her.
Seemingly for the umpteenth time, Elmyra gently pushed Aeris back to stare into her gentle face, tears threatening to well out anew from her aging eyes.
"I can't believe my baby's back with me"
"Mom" Aeris muttered, her eyes reflecting the profound joy being radiated by her adoptive mother's aura. Unable to further her speech, the last Ancient opted to hold her mother once more.
However, unwelcome thoughts start to flood her mind once more, brought forth by the recollection of that morning's dejection she so unexpectedly received from Cloud. Aeris started to ponder anew. Though trying her best to understand his dreary behavior, she also realized the need to convince him soon if she wants to accomplish her task before it's too late.
And as the day flowed by around her, with the knowledge of her designated troubleshooters already on their way, Aeris knows she doesn't have much time left.
Cloud's defenses must be destroyed.
And she knows only too well to utilize the unwitting support of those who are closest to him at this moment.
"Mom I'm I'm kinda depressed"
"What is it, dear. Tell me" Elmyra tenderly responded.
"ItIt's about Cloud. He doesn't seem to want me around anymore" Aeris mumbled with a crack in her voice.
"Nonsense, dear. Cloud is just he's just confused right now."
"Do you think so? I mean, do you think he will ever accept me?"
"Aeris" the mother faced her daughter squarely. "You didn't see how much he suffered after you left. Cloud all he wanted to do then was to move on with his life, but your memories kept pulling him back. Sephiroth's defeat wasn't really the end of his struggles. Actually, it was only the beginning."
Aeris just looked on as Elmyra continued.
"Honestly, I admire his courage. After braving tremendous odds in being true to himself and facing his inner specter, and after that struggling to be strong enough to defeat Sephiroth, he needed once more to call on that courage to face the fact that you're gone. I was just watching along the sidelines, but I know. I know how he just tried to pretend that he's content with the company of Tifa and all your friends.
"Eventually, he learned to cope. He and Tifa actually almost got married at one point, I just don't know what made them cancel their wedding date. I do know it has something to do with you."
"Cloud backed out on Tifa?"
"No. No, dear. It was the other way around. From what Barret told me, it was Tifa herself who chose not to continue with their wedding plans. But that's all I know."
"What what happened?"
"Maybe you should ask Tifa about it."
A sudden resonance then startled the mother and daughter.
"Did I hear someone mention my name?"
"Hi, Tifa."
"Hello, dear."
Tifa reluctantly stepped forward, not wanting to disturb the solemn conversation, but at the same time wanting so much to convene with her friends. Aeris must have read her sentiments from the expression in her face, as she cheerfully smiled with her lips and eyes, accompanied by a prompt movement to provide room for one more in the bench they were sitting on.
A soft sensation of warmth momentarily took hold of Tifa's heart. As far as she can tell, this is indeed the same Aeris that she knew, not a long time ago. She can't help letting out an uncharacteristic, girlish giggle while leaping beside the brown-haired lass.
"So, what's up with you two?"
"What's up? You young ladies have a lot of catching up to, that's what's up." Elmyra quipped prior to lifting herself up from her wooden perch.
"Where are you going, Elmyra?"
"Much as I want to stay and chat with you two, there is still a matter of this little girl with the erratic appetite that I need to feed. So if you will excuse me..."
"Oh" Tifa faded. "Okay, we'll be right along."
The mystery surrounding the million words that need to be said but denied of a point to start became evident between the two. Tifa could have sworn earlier that there are just so many things she needs and wants to tell Aeris prior to this moment. But now that they're here, she suddenly found herself speechless.
Aeris then chose to break the ice.
"You'll never believe what happened to me on my way here."
"What?" the former bar girl retorted, relieved of the other's initiative.
"I saw a guy by the roadside. He was just walking, and he looked so lost that I can't help feeling sorry for him."
"Really?" Tifa once again came back, half-wondering the significance of Aeris' topic choice. "What does he look like?"
"Oh lemme see kinda off the wall fashion sense if you ask me. He was wearing a black leather jacket with matching gloves, pants and shoes. But the jacket had white fur on where the collar should be. And he's still young, and looked kinda cute and all, if not for that ugly scar running in between his eyebrows."
"So what did you do?"
"I wanted to help him because it appeared like he was about to faint. But my attention was drawn momentarily by a lost Chocobo. And when I looked back, he was gone."
"Gone? You mean 'Gone' gone?"
"Yeah. Really gone."
"Oooohhh!!!" Playfully moaned the teasing Tifa. "I think you just saw a ghost. Scaaaryyyy!"
But instead of being amused with her friend's antic, Aeris was drawn to a sullen contemplation brought about by that harmless joke, much to Tifa's surprise. The native of Nibelheim then realized her mistake in light of her friend's somber question.
"Tifa didn't it ever occur to you that I might be a ghost?"
Caught off-guard, Tifa became torn between responding with caution with regards to Aeris' feelings and attempting to rationalize the Ancient's return which she admitted to herself as rather bizarre. She wanted to reassure Aeris by professing her unreserved confidence, yet Tifa became wary that the latter might misconstrue this as a kind but ultimately insincere attempt at consoling her feelings.
"All I know" Tifa nevertheless answered. "All I know is that you're back with us. I admit to wondering how it became possible. But the truth is, stranger things have happened in the past. So who knows? Besides, you're an Ancient, aren't you?"
"Yeah, Tif. But Ancients are not immortals, you know."
"We're really not sure of that, are we, Aeris? Besides, who knows what kind of repercussions that battle with Sephiroth created?"
Bowing her head, Aeris uttered some soft words of gratitude owing to Tifa's kindhearted vote of confidence.
"Thanks at least you see it that way. But Cloud"
"Cloud?" the bargirl reacted. "I think Cloud is having a very hard time believing that you're you."
"What do you mean?" Aeris returned quizzically. "He's suspecting that I'm a fake? Now why in the world would he think that way?"
"Well sometimes" Tifa began to explain. " Sometimes a person can want something so bad and for so long that when he finally gets it, the happiness he feels is so intense and unbearable that it actually begins to poison him from the inside. Like, Cloud might be thinking that you being back with us is just so good to be true, it hurts too much for him to believe it. So he creates an illusion that you may just be an impostor because he truly can't handle his feelings."
"Since when did you become the psychological type?" Aeris bellowed in jest to keep Tifa from seeing her affected reaction.
However, the knot in her throat had already prevented Tifa from being capable of coming back with any sort of reply. Much as she tried to fight back her emotions, she was unable to deny the bitter weight pressing against her chest, brought about by her own assessment of Cloud's intense yearning for Aeris' presence.
"W Well" The raven-haired former resistance fighter stammered out her words. "I just know him well, that's all. I know Cloud better than anyone else on this planet."
It didn't take much effort for Aeris to perceive the heaviness in Tifa's heart, and consequently felt the rapidly slipping hold she has for the spiky-haired warrior. Her mind suddenly racing, the resurrected Cetra realized than now, more than ever, is the time for her true mission to start. She needs to make her move soon.
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He can't sleep. This day has been so hard on him, and all the tumult and confusion it mercilessly brought forth inescapably rendered Cloud to a huge muddle of perplexity and bewilderment.
Looking back at the turbulent day's misgivings, his thoughts inadvertently gravitated to the single event that brought the greater part of the chaos in his mind. His recollections rushing in like a train without brakes, Cloud had to slam his eyes tight in the vain effort of shutting off the irresistible thoughts prevailing in his tortured psyche.
Aeris has returned. It seemed so bizarre and inconceivable. And rightfully so, at least he believed. For unless she had become enthralled by malevolent forces bent on new and unprecedented atrocities against him and his charges, there is really no viable way to explain how she could have broken the otherwise invincible shackles of death and walk among the living as if nothing ever happened. As if Sephiroth never came hurtling down to deliver the blow that eventually robbed him of the gentlest soul he has ever known.
He wanted so much to hate her and avenge his tortured heart. He desired so desperately to take his large blade and mutilate her intrusive body with it. However, whoever this vile pretender may be that dared to pose as his once beloved, Cloud could do nothing in the direction of true hostility. No matter how he struggled to train his wrath toward this false wraith, his arms, hands and heart were stilled helplessly by the mind-numbing effect of seeing Aeris' face in that shameless impostor.
Aeris' face the face that he so loved and then was taken away from him.
He just can't smite this heartless chameleon with his fury so long as she's brandishing Aeris' lovely visage like an invulnerable shield. And now, Cloud can only sprawl in hopelessness. He sees her, and yet she's not there.
Pondering, he then began to ask himself: If he has no proof of this person's authenticity, what evidence does he also have of her fraudulence?
What if she's the real Aeris?
But Aeris is dead. And the dead just cannot come back to life.
Right?
He can't just allow himself the complacency to believe in something that may be true or false. If he does give himself the leeway
What if she's not Aeris? Would he risk being hurt again by counterfeit hope?
But what if she IS?!?
Cloud reeled. He's never felt a headache this intense in his whole life.
"Sleep sleep" His mind unrelentingly hollered, a vain attempt to escape this harrowing confusion.
Just then, the irritating noise of a door creaking open disturbed his troubled reverie. The slowly angling movement of the ten-foot wooden door was then followed by the silvery glare of intruding moonlight, a solid radiance broken at the center by a silhouette with the form of a hair and body shape that was only too familiar to the insomniac lad.
"Cloud" Echoed a tender voice, one that also carried the same level of familiarity. Cloud became gripped anew by astonishment upon adjusting his eyes to the renewed dark brought about by the closing barn door behind his unexpected visitor. Even cloaked in caliginous shadows, he knows that gentle face only too well.
"It's me, Aeris"
End of Part Four