A Pain That Won't Leave
By Soul Hunter
Part Five
Clad in his usual, fiery red layer of hair, the amazing creature with only one working eye growled an equally merry salutation in response to his former colleague's greeting. His paws, displaying a little more heft that reflected the growth of his lithe body's build, then slowly made their way forth, as if measuring each step and each stride, displaying the routine caution it had grown accustomed to in lieu of his past exercises. His mane then flew out slightly with the head that raised to a rare grin being displayed by the man before him. He may be wrong, thought the proud beast, but it seems that this chap known for his coldness was actually glad to see him.
Polite echoes resonated in the casual but respectful exchange of notes and experiences from the time they were parted. Thoughtful reminiscing and fond memories of both the moments they spent together and the stretch that they were apart filled the vastness of the silent temple and disturbed its innate stillness. It may not have been apparent during that past adventure, but it is quite evident now that they have grown into a friendship that escaped their respective awareness a year previous.
Then the beast started talking about a voice: poignant, placid, and strangely familiar. He started sharing the unusual nights of arcane restlessness owing to a consciousness invading his own, of an essence foreign and yet recognizable. And as he spoke, the man garbed in black with the not-so-complementary red cloak listened intently, noting the amazing similarity between their recollections. He remembered the same tender tone of that voice, its effort to conceal itself apparent and yet the timbre almost unmistakable that it was almost haunting in its resonance. To his ears, it sounded like the humble pleas of a long-lost friend.
Could it be that the same spirit that called upon him drew his four-legged comrade to this place as well? He can only wonder about the mystery shrouding this unusual circumstance.
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As if the day's events were not enough to stagger him, Cloud silently cursed within himself in light of this utterly compromising situation he had just found himself in. A few moments ago, he was languishing with warring forces inside his heart with regards to this woman claiming to be Aeris. The dictates of his rational thinking were compelling him to rebuff her as a pretender, while the pitiful wails of his aching heart wanted so desperately for this mysterious individual to be the one his soul had been longing for.
And now, she's standing before him, like an avenging memory bent on plunging him to an even deeper pit of confusion. Cloud could have sworn the truth screaming out of her unmistakable form. As he stared at her, his mind and heart hollered for a reality bearing the fact that she is indeed, the woman he had been missing for so long.
The indignation born of self-denying doubt fought back, and yet the presence of the one who bore Aeris' face was too much for his skepticism. As she stepped closer, his eyes can't help but reflect the hurt mixed with the joy. He pondered: how it could be so easy to just surrender to his heart's demands.
"Cloud I know that you're doubtful about me, I can understand that." Aeris spoke out with that soft voice that further subjected his soul to a hail of warm darts. "But before doing anything, will you please bear with me even for a short while?"
Cloud maintained his strained stillness, prompting the last Ancient to go on.
"I I have been away, I know. I also know that I wasn't simply away. I was I died." She continued, her voice almost stumbling. "And because of that, I understand your reaction for seeing me like this, in front of you. Maybe if I werein your place and feeling the way you seem to be feeling maybe I'd react the same way.
"And I'm not gonna bother explaining to you how I came back. With uhh considering present circumstances, It really isn't that important as the reason why I did what I just did."
Again, the weakness in his heart begged Cloud to surrender. But almost at the same time, his doubt kicked back, beginning to fight hard anew in guarding his now fragile emotions.
"You can't expect me to believe all this, Ar whoever you are. Aeris died she died in my own arms. How can you expect me to buy all this?"
Bowing her head, the Ancient can only let out a resigned sigh after the words of unbelief Cloud uttered.
"How?"
"Hush" Aeris suddenly echoed, followed by the soft touch of her finger that kept Cloud's lips from further spewing out words that have been hurting her since they came face to face the morning previous.
Feeling her fingers against his lips, Cloud felt like crying. But his obstinate skepticism kept him from that frightful collapse.
Meanwhile, a momentary spell of hesitation nearly permeated through Aeris. She thought briefly, questioning the need for this thing she's has been deliberating on.
She didn't want to do this, but it appears drastic measures are now needed.
And Cloud can only wonder in puzzlement when Aeris gently took his hands. He wanted to pull them back, but the soft and warm touch of her palm and fingers tenderly grasping his own became too much to resist for even his stubborn adherence to his incredulity. The tender warmth began to travel from his hands to his arms, bridging the gap of doubt between his will and his emotions, and eventually making its way to his heart which had now seen its defenses crumbled. Finally, Cloud relented, and just sat in anxious awe as Aeris brought his hands closer to her.
Then, to his utter surprise, she began unbuttoning the bottom portion of the white shirt she's wearing. In the stingy amount of moonlight permeating the dark stable, Cloud could easily see the fair and smooth contours of her skin, which are now beginning to expose itself. His heart began to pound like an abused bass drum...
And then nearly leapt to his throat when Aeris brought his quivering hands below, and touched the soft surface of her bare stomach with it. His chest now threatening to explode, Cloud held his breath nervously while feeling the smoothness of her skin running under his fingers. The heat emanating from them was intoxicating and almost electrifying, with pulses of throbbing desire now ominously battering against his helpless being.
And as if it wasn't enough for the breathless Cloud, Aeris began to slowly bring his hands higher.
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A cold and wet sensation suddenly broke Tifa off her sullen disposition. Lifting her head briefly, she mumbled incoherently while turning her pillow to bring the lower side on top. She forgot that she had already done this ritual earlier for the exact same reason, and thus felt the same damp coldness in her cheeks when it touched the tear-soaked fabric of the feather-stuffed pillow.
She ignored the inconvenient feeling eventually, and continued drenching the soft object with the tears running down from her eyes. Briefly allowing a respite from her burdened pondering, Tifa tried to think back and remember the last time that she cried in bed.
A long, long time ago, after her mother died. She had yearned for solitude then, a desire that battled hard with her spontaneous want for someone to come and comfort her. She had her group of friends then, a pretentious squad that eventually abandoned her after a rather foolish impulse that left her in a near-death state down a deep ravine, with no one to turn to for help.
No one but him.
Tifa had since learned the precious state that came with Cloud's compassion. She had learned to cherish and nurture the special concern and treatment he regarded her. She had become his best friend, and that friendship was an essential force that carried her through the lowest times in her life. Even the one that ironically necessitated his absence. Though for even if Cloud wasn't beside her, she has always had that consoling hope that whenever something bad happens to her, he would always come rushing to her rescue.
And how Tifa wished for Cloud's pledge to hold true today.
She's not really physically in trouble, but the way her heart feels, Tifa thought she'd rather be facing a squad of ShinRa SOLDIER operatives than this ominous fear presently overwhelming her soul. And sadly, she can never really expect Cloud to come to her aid this time because he is the one in the center of her emotional mayhem. And that the dark creature giving her so much dread is the heartbreaking threat of his eventual departure.
A small yet vehement voice started hollering within her, demanding for Tifa to take action. Why is she allowing this to happen? Why doesn't she make a stand for herself? Wasn't Tifa the one who stood beside Cloud during his direst moments? Wasn't she the one who, at the possible expense of her own sanity, helped him in his gargantuan search for his real identity and ultimately led to finding his real self amidst a life-long trek of self-denial? Didn't she turn an understanding look at him when he expressed his desire of 'seeing' Aeris at her final resting place after they neutralized the threat of Meteor?
For all intents, Cloud owed her virtually his life, both literally and figuratively. If she wanted to, she can insist for his unreserved loyalty and fidelity. After what she went through for him, she certainly has the right to do just that.
But what would this insistence net her other than an empty pledge of faithfulness born of obligatory gratitude? If Cloud truly wanted to be with her, Tifa could never settle for any circumstance surrounding that purpose other than the pure, voluntary and emotionally driven intention. If she wants him to stay with her, it would have to be by his own accord.
She pondered deeply. Tifa knows only too well she loves him too much to impose her will on him. She'd rather nurture a broken heart while seeing him happy with the woman he truly loves than witness his misery with her. If she truly and genuinely loves him, she had to be prepared to let him go.
The thought ultimately brought an excruciating blow to her heart. But Tifa tried to endure it. For the sake of Cloud's happiness.
And yet, the decision of selflessness still wasn't enough to aid her toward a restful slumber. Tifa then decided to step out for some fresh air, subsequently finding herself groping in the dimly lit hallway en route to a quiet downstairs area where she felt a slight draft of cold air.
Tip-toeing cautiously to the kitchen, she saw the back door widely open, suggesting that someone from inside the house had made an exit not too long ago. A frightening and foreboding feeling enveloped her psyche, one that compelled her to fight off the the urge to go back upstairs and check on Aeris' quarters. Tifa's fear was clear at that point: she was afraid to look into her friend's room and find no one there.
Still, for some form of curiosity similar to that which pushes a person to repetitively touch his wound no matter how much it hurts, Tifa opted towards knowing, once and for all, if her fears are truly founded on facts or not. She didn't even bother to wear a coat in the midst of the cold air whistling outside when she went off on the short walk going to the barn.
Her hands were shivering, but not from the cold, but rather from the sheer anxiety gripping her. Wondering with much dread, Tifa hesitated for a moment from pulling the barn door open.
But eventually, she did.
End of Part Five