A Pain That Won't Leave
By Soul Hunter
Part Seven
The possibility of the lost Ancient calling from the after-life to summon them is in itself, mind-boggling. But the man with the gun is more concerned, if the theory is correct, with the reason behind the mystery. Besides, he deliberated, the concept of a return from the dead isn't entirely an impossibility for him. He had always believed himself to be someone with that arcane distinction.
However, he could only fall in a state of deep thought. And though his chary contemplation can't seem to produce any feasible explanation to all this unexplained events, he nevertheless wisely realized a renewed sense of urgency owing to his belief that no mystery is without a pressing cause. Regardless of whatever or whoever it is that brought the two of them here to this place of bereavement, he must know the reason behind it as soon as possible.
And as if responding to his unsettling concerns, the encapsulated paradise of solemn silence, amply illuminated by the strangely radiant walls of white ice along its borders, was suddenly cast in a dark shadow. Looking up, the warrior pair failed to see anything or hear anything that may have caused the caliginous shade, though they did notice the anomaly along the crystal walls, with its shimmering luster appearing to fade away.
A strange odor then filled the air. But this is a different kind of grim whiff, smelt not by the perceptive recesses of their olfactory instruments but rather by the quivering senses in their souls. The air was indeed reeking with hatred, with its vile aroma easily absorbed by their vigilant spirits.
Evil is afoot. A kind of unheeding evil that bears no respect to the inviolability of this holy ground. It seemed to take a cue from the watchful pair and consequently started to manifest its frightful malevolence. Next thing they knew, the shadows littering the Forgotten City have begun to move, a soundless yet disturbed undulation that seemed to have an intent of surrounding them. The darkness then began to mix with the light, swirling in a slow maelstrom around the alarmed duo as if intending to swallow them.
Consequently, the copper beast and the black-garbed mystery man quickly revealed their weapons, cocking and sliding them into readiness. And though gripped by ominous fear, they quickly settled down to a familiar disposition. This isn't exactly the first time they're faced with a bleak circumstance such as this.
But they were not expecting a cognizance this infernal. Suddenly, the crimson-cloaked gunman balled up in pain as he was gripped by the searing specter of a murderous awareness. At the same time, the beast with the glowing tail became overwhelmed with the most troubling thought that ever entered his mind. Owing to the tutelage of his grandfather, the son of the proud warrior turned to stone in defense of his people had of recent, elevated his sensitivity to the voice of the planet to such unprecedented levels. He used to be thankful for that unusual gift, and vowed then to use it to further his protection of the world they once rescued from the clutches of a demented demigod.
Now, he's wishing that he never learned to attune his spirit with the essence of his world. The heroic creature felt his blood freeze with that dismal and terrifying perception. Below their feet, the ground started to shake and tremble. Inside his mind, he heard the planet crying out desperately, undoubtedly out of harrowing pain.
The Lifestream. In itself a river of pure energy born of the unified life forces of those who once lived, it serves as the mighty source of the planet's essence and vigor. A life-giving ocean that, at this very moment, seemed to be hollering for help. He turned his senses inward, to the deepest pits of his connected being and consequently winced in horror.
The Lifestream is hemorrhaging, its very quintessence slowly being torn asunder. The Lifestream is dying.
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"What's the meaning of this?"
Tifa was almost startled by Cloud's sudden arrival, which made it impossible for her to conceal the large bag she was currently stuffing with her clothes. At first she didn't know what to say in the midst of his grimly questioning look, unsure whether to feel guilty or ashamed of what she's doing that appears to be total abandonment.
But just as quickly, the hurt of the previous night's scene she inadvertently stumbled upon gave her a renewed resolve, pushing her to continue with her packing chore. On the other hand, Cloud, despite his question, somewhat knew why she's doing this. As he stood in front of her, he can't help feeling a sense of disarray. Whether he expected this or not, the threat of seeing Tifa walk out of his life terrified him.
"Is this about last night?"
Funny question, thought Cloud to himself. Of course it's about last night. And if it hadn't been to the gravity of the circumstances, he would have half-expected Tifa to laugh at his thoughtless quip.
And to his credit, she almost did.
"Hmph" she scoffed. "That's what I like about you. Even when you're making me cry, you can still manage to make me laugh."
She then continued packing. And Cloud again started feeling his heart being eaten away by dreadful grief. He didn't know where to start, but he knows that he should do something.
But for one confusing moment, Cloud felt like asking himself why. Why is he afraid of losing Tifa?
Isn't he grievously enamored enough by the memories of a lost beloved? Isn't it true that the flood of aggravating situations that besieged them all during the last twenty-four hours brought an awareness, free of doubt, that his heart is still longing for someone else? If he's so obsessed with Aeris, why is he feeling this terrible sense of deep loss in seeing Tifa's impending departure?
Where is this fear coming from?
"I thought that you understand?" Cloud unwittingly voiced out. Looking back at his question a split-second later, he realized the telltale stench of utter selfishness in those demanding little words. If he happened to be in Tifa's place, he would already have hurled himself out the window. Fortunately, Tifa isn't as vindictive as he is.
"Yes, I do." She subsequently returned. "I've always understood you, Cloud. And I've always respected the bond between you and Aeris. If anything, I know that that is something I can never bring myself to severe, even if I wanted to."
"Then why are you leaving?" His mind echoed. A question that he prevented from voicing out due to its equally self-centered tone.
"But don't worry, Cloud. I don't have any plans whatsoever of going between you and Aeris." Tifa said anew with a firmer tone that she fought so hard to muster. "Nor am I regarding any kind of ill-feelings toward the two of you. I just thought that maybe, I need to leave to make it easier on all of us."
He didn't talk back, but not exactly because he wanted her to further the words that have been pitilessly stabbing into his heart. But he didn't know what he wanted either. He can't stop asking himself questions. What does he really want? Why is he feeling scared? What can he do to make Tifa stay?
What did she mean by making this easy on everyone?
"What do you mean by making this easy on everyone? Do you think that your leaving would solve all our problems? Do you think running away would help us all find a solution?"
He knew immediately after that he shouldn't have added that last question, which sounded like a cheap attempt of hiding another self-seeking intent that he has been battling to suppress, with not much headway.
"Running away? Cloud, what do you want me to do? Do not overestimate me, okay? I may have said that I understand you. And I meant it, I really do. But that doesn't mean I can't be hurt anymore by what I will be seeing in the days to come if ever I decide not to leave. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty or anything but last night was only the start."
But he doesn't believe that girl to be the real Aeris. At least that's what he's been insisting to himself. He'd insist it with Tifa as well if he didn't know her enough to know that she is not going to accept his paranoid idiosyncrasies. Not that he'd call it that himself. But he's sure other people will.
"Besides" Tifa continued. "If there will ever be any chance of you and Aeris being together, it will never happen as long as I'm around, even if I don't do jack to interfere. I know Aeris too much, like you. And I can very well expect that even if she wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have it as long as she knows of my feelings. And the only way to solve that is for me to go away."
"Hey wait just a minute!" Cloud suddenly blurted out. "Why are you talking like this? You're spitting out all this bullshit as if you're implying that I never loved you! This is not fair, Tifa!"
He stepped back after that rather unnecessarily forceful repartee, worried of what it might bring the already embattled lass. But the smile that came out of her pretty face surprised him.
"I know that you love me, Cloud." Tifa echoed softly. "I know, and I can never thank you enough. And I love you too you know I do."
Cloud nearly covered his ears out of his fear of her next remark. And he wasn't by any way mistaken.
"That's why I'm doing this."
Standing up from her spot by the edge of her bed, Tifa nonchalantly opened the last of the unemptied closet to pull out the remaining articles that she hasn't packed yet. A metallic echo reverberated when a small trinket fell from the pile of clothes she picked up from the shelf. Bending down to pick up the small object, Tifa's heart almost burst anew with the subsequent recognition and the memory that came with it.
Cloud saw the brilliant twinkling in Tifa's hands and subsequently recognized the engagement ring he gave her a few months ago. One that she returned to him after perceiving the want that is the cause of this sullen morning's series of events.
Tifa then looked at him, somewhat sheepishly.
"I'm sorry" she began with a cute smirk. "I know I already gave it back to you. But I decided I wanna hold on to it until the time comes when you know Are you angry with me?"
"No Not at all" Cloud said, almost absentmindedly. With his thoughts in shambles brought about by this tearing dilemma, the last thing he needed to see was a symbol of Tifa's lingering desire to still be with him in spite of his uncertainty. And what could be more incriminating that her invading his private domain to steal' the ring that brought so much tears of joy out of her eyes when he first slipped it into her fingers?
Cloud felt like hitting himself with a huge club.
"But I suppose it's kinda pointless to hold on to this now, isn't it?"
He then wished he could just die.
"Here" Tifa muttered while handing him back the ring. Cloud was then already contemplating on bungee jumping minus the rope. Subsequently, he could have sworn he felt his head almost blew up when she kissed him on the cheeks, with what sounded like a sincere request.
" Take care of my friend"
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She can't help thinking that what she did the night previous was a trifle overboard, and rather uncalled for. But during that time, Aeris thought she just had to do something to break into Cloud's barrier of suspicion. She had been hell-bent in winning his trust that she was led to a belief that the only way for that to happen was to open herself up to him. But was that extent really necessary? The Ancient can only wonder.
But wondering on things that may or may not have resulted into fruitful results has become a moot point considering the unforeseen factors that became evident. She never counted on Tifa happening to them just when she was about to puncture through his shell. Aeris was so hopeful and expectant of her maneuver that the sudden arrival of the other left her in a somewhat distasteful state of frustration. Pondering in this light, she became quite surprised at herself and the train of thoughts traversing through her mind. Is this annoyance that she's feeling? Maybe. She was almost there, she has nearly completed her objective. And Tifa had to ruin everything by barging in to disrupt her plan.
Aeris subsequently winced in self-reprising torment. What kind of thought is this permeating through her mind? What right does she have of blaming one who in her heart really had no intentions, nor inclinations of upholding a self-centered claim? How could she have entertained such dishonorable thoughts when at this very moment, all she can sense from the erstwhile object of her involuntary ire is right inside that room, ceding her claim with no trace of egotism whatsoever yet at the same time inundated with the sting of hapless defeat?
Tifa was not to blame, Aeris thought. If there is one who should really be credited for the fault, it has to be her, for her inadequacy. But then, coming down hard on herself is, in the same manner, not the most advisable way to go in light of present circumstances. It has already been weeks since her return. And it's taking way too long than she had previously estimated.
A deep feeling of cold fear suddenly took hold of Aeris with the awareness that she is indeed, running out of time.
End of Part Seven