You Can Do It (If You Really Try)
Ninth and hopefully last in the Pokémon Music Series.
By the Lovely Angels (Starrysapphire)
Disclaimer - Everything belongs to someone else whether it be Joss Whedon, Pikachu/Jigglypuff music or the many, many people involved in making Doctor Who (Terry Nation gets a special mention for Dalek creation.)
Setting - Buffy Season 5/Angel Season 2.
Angel was sitting in his apartment, absentmindedly reading one of Cordelia's magazines when Spike came in. He was wearing a bright red baseball cap which he kept fiddling with, as though checking it had gone on straight.
"Angel," he said after a moment.
"Yes?" Angel asked, wondering if Spike was going to ask if his hat was straight. If he did, Angel had already decided that he was going to tell Spike that it off to one side.
"Why are you reading that?" Spike asked.
Nothing about his hat then. "I am very bored. All good literature suddenly seems boring and the one book I wanted to read got stolen with the car," Angel said.
"Tell me about it," Spike said grumpily "The first edition of Playboy was in that car!"
"You'll get over it," Angel said.
"It was in mint condition," Spike continued sulkily "It was going to be worth lots of money and I was going to sell it one day. And it was all your fault!"
"You should have kept it in the apartment," Angel said.
"Oh yes, and have it get stolen like those film reels I stole from the BBC? No thank you!"
"Film reels?" Angel said, finally looking up.
Spike turned brick red.
"Dru insisted," he mumbled "She really liked Doctor Who, see and so we just nipped in and took a couple of episodes..."
"I always wondered what happened to some of those missing episodes," Angel said dryly "Which ones?"
"I dunno. I just grabbed an armful with Doctor Who written on them and legged it," Spike said "Kept me.... Dru happy for hours. Then we left 'em in the apartment and some bugger broke in and nicked the lot!"
Angel tried not to start laughing hysterically.
"So you never watched any then?" he said innocently.
"Never. Couldn't stand the crap, all those monsters made from tin foil and chicken wire," Spike said, his brick red darkening to a beautiful crimson scarlet.
"Yes," Angel said using what he knew Spike referred to as his I-know-you're-lying but-I-couldn't-care-less-and-will-wear-you-down-eventually voice.
"Stop that!" Spike snapped "I did so hate it!"
"Okay," Angel agreed maddeningly.
Spike threw a china vase at Angel and went to sulk in Cordelia's room. Then he opened the door again.
"Oh, and Wesley says hi."
"How's the broken arm?" Angel asked.
"Well he didn't exactly appreciate you breaking it," Spike said.
"Well it's his fault," Angel said "Those bloody videos! So far, three people have asked for my autograph and six people have started laughing hysterically at the very sight of me! How is Wesley anyway?"
"Fine," Spike said.
Angel nodded.
"Spike," he said "How was the car getting stolen my fault?"
Spike made a really strange noise that reminded Angel of an apoplectic kettle.
"How?!" he sputtered "How?! Oh why don't we go swimming Spike? It'll be really fun! A really nice late night swimming pool! I'll see if you even remember any of my swimming lessons! No need to worry, we'll leave the car in the car park!"
Angel choked slightly. Spike continued his tirade of outrage.
"So then of course I come out and start drying off and then you tell me the cars gone and then you start laughing at me and I want to know what's funny and nooo, you don't tell me, oh no, you just claim slight hysteria from lack of car and we set off walking and everyone drops dead laughing at me but you just keep walking and insist nothing's wrong! And you let Cordelia tell me! Cordelia! How could you?!"
Angel sank his teeth into his lip to stop himself laughing.
"Tell you what?" he choked out innocently.
Spike screamed wildly and appeared to be trying to pull his own head off.
"My hair!" he howled "My hair! Green! Green! Green! The laughter! The humiliation! The suffering! The fact that the damn green won't stop being green! The despair and anguish and horror of it all!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Angel asked.
Spike made another strange screaming noise and whipped off the cap. Angel had to admit that Spike's hair was foul. A sort of dull bronzy green with bits of platinum blonde.
"Poor Spike," he said. Spike stopped sounding like an apoplectic kettle and began making pitiful little whimpering noises. Angel went over and hugged him.
"I used to watch them," he said casually "Doctor Who, I mean."
"Really?" Spike asked "Did you see the one where....no Angel, I don't like Doctor Who! No! Stop grinning at me!"
* * * *
Three days later, Wesley had returned to work with his arm in a sling and was refusing to talk to Angel, concentrating instead on the Scroll of Aberjian. He was trying to translate more of them.
"You've been pouring over the scrolls for three hours solid," Faith remarked. She was letting Cordelia paint her nails a lurid pink and watching Wesley "Isn't it time you took a break?"
"No..." Wesley muttered "I may be onto something very interesting...."
"You keep trailing off," Angel remarked "You sound a lot like Pat Troughton."
"Who?" Cordelia asked, frowning as she concentrated.
"He acted the second Doctor Who," Spike said. He then snarled with rage and threw a file at Angel "Dru told me, you puff!"
Angel caught the file and turned away, snickering. Spike scowled and readjusted his baseball cap. Faith raised an eyebrow but Spike said nothing. He had sworn Angel and Cordelia to secrecy about his hair and Wesley and Faith didn't know. Spike had it firmly concealed under the cap which looked very strange with his normal outfit.
"What on earth...?" Wesley muttered suddenly.
"Maybe it's not from earth," Angel teased "Maybe it's a Dalek!"
"Angel, shut UP!"
"No," Wesley said "I rather think the word is Pokémon."
"WHAT?!"
Everyone gathered round in about ten seconds.
"Pokémon!"
"What's that got to do with the Scroll of Aberjian?"
"Is that in the Angel part?"
"I don't know!" Wesley said "Give me a chance!"
Everyone backed off, watching as Wesley worked.
"Good Lord," he said finally "I don't think you'll believe this!"
"Go on then! Stun us!" Faith said.
"It says that the vampire with a soul is eternally linked to his favourite childe by Pokémon," Wesley said "Basically anyway. It is foreseen that the music will bring them together so they can complete their destinies."
There was a long pause.
"Bloody hell," Spike said finally.
"Huh," Angel said.
"I have to phone Buffy," Cordelia said.
Faith simply laughed.
* * * *
Later, Angel was lying on his bed, thinking. My Way was pounding though the walls, distracting him.
(Angel's long suffering next door neighbour added more pillows to the piles over his ears)
"Spike turn that crap off!" Angel yelled finally "I'm trying to think!"
The Sex Pistols stopped their out-of-tune warblings and Spike walked in, looking slightly sulky (and, Angel noticed, quickly adjusting his hat.)
"About what Peaches?" he asked.
"Pokémon," Angel said flatly.
Spike sat down, looking at his sire.
"When I first saw Pokémon," Angel said "I felt this really weird....connection I suppose. I ignored it but I remembered it when I captured Willow. I just wanted to...to annoy you and Buffy. Instead....well it reminded me. And then somehow everything kept connecting, you know. And now..."
"It's been written about," Spike said.
"How much of my life is planned Spike?" Angel asked, sitting up and looking at his childe.
"I don't know," Spike said. "I don't want my life to be planned," Angel confessed "I don't want it to be. Maybe I'll just screw this sanshu and just go and hide away."
"You can't do that!" Spike said looking scandalised "You've been looking forward to this bleedin' sanshu for almost a year!"
"But then I'll lose you," Angel said softly.
Spike blinked, looking shocked.
"I don't know Spike," Angel said "I don't want to lose you but I don't want to disappoint the Powers That Be either. But I don't want to live a planned life. I don't know."
He flopped back on the bed despondently. Spike looked unhappily at his sire, unsure of what to do. Eventually, he cuddled up to Angel and tried to think.
* * * *
When Angel woke up the next day, there was a message from Spike saying that he had gone away for a couple of days and not to worry. Angel shrugged. His brain was still to full of questions to wonder about Spike much. Anyway, he supposed it was something to do with Spike's hair.
He spent the next few days wandering round the apartment, avoiding the Pokémon CD. His brain was still reeling with questions that he couldn't possibly answer. Faith tried to cheer him up but he wouldn't be cheered.
On the fourth night, Faith gave up trying to convince him to come to a night-club. She made some chocolate cookie dough instead and began flipping channels on the TV. Eventually, she found some woman warbling Phantom of the Opera.
"Oh God, turn that off!" Angel said "She can't sing!"
"But I love this song!" Faith protested. She curled up comfortably on the sofa and looked in the newspaper "It's a live karaoke thing. The winner gets $1000!"
Angel grinned and sat next to Faith, watching. Andrew Lloyd Webber seemed quite popular among the people with Jesus Christ, Superstar coming after Phantom. Then someone came up and sang the Sex Pistols version of My Way which put Angel in hysterics. A guy came up next and sang a song called The Fastest Milkman In the West. After that, Faith began recording the show.
"My problem - apart from making a fool of myself in public - would be the live part," Angel said "Imagine if you got your words wrong? Ugh."
There were several songs that they didn't know. Angel got bored and began judging the good looks or otherwise of the people. He and Faith were arguing about a dark-haired guy when the announcer's voice cut though their argument.
"Now, coming next, Spike Marsters!"
Angel and Faith turned and stared in amazement at the screen. Spike came onto the stage.
"What's happened to his hair?" Faith shrieked. Angel stared. Spike wasn't wearing a hat! His disgusting green hair was on display on live television!
"Hello ladies and gentlemen," he said into the microphone "I'm singing this song for my friend Angel tonight - so Scoobies if you're watching, phone Angel and make sure he's watching the telly would you? And you can all stop laughing coz I wanted my hair this colour. I needed a change and I think it looks cool. And don't you roll your eyes at me Buffy - see I know you so well! Anyway, Angel will get the message when he hears the song. Oh and for the record Angel, I hate Doctor Who!"
Angel felt his brain howling in agony. The rest of him was just watching Spike. Faith had grabbed the phone and was telling everyone to watch this channel because Spike was live on TV with green hair!
The music began and Spike started to sing.
"In the morning when you wake up. Open your eyes to a new day. Look around at the gifts you've got. You've been so lucky along the way. Time to finish what you've begun. Have the faith, you're the one. Throw your hat high, up to the sun. Now you face your greatest test. Use the lessons that you've learned. Your goal is to be the best. And claim the prize that you've earned. Ever since you were a young man. You've kept your eye on the master plan. To reach for the top, and touch the sky. It's your destiny. To spread your wings and fly."
Angel sat there, staring at Spike as he began the chorus.
"You can do it if you really try. You can do it if you really try. Spread your wings and learn to fly. You can do it if you really, really try."
Faith tore her eyes away from the screen to Angel. She could see tears glimmering in the corners of his eyes.
"Keen movin' forward, to stay alive," Spike sang "Trust your heart, and you'll survive. Follow your dreams never let them die. It's your destiny, to spread your wings and fly."
Spike began the chorus again. All over the country, Scooby gang members were watching too, staring in amazement.
"You can do it if you really try. You've got the power! You can do it if you really try. Just open your eyes. Reach for the top, and touch the sky. You can do it. You can do it!"
Spike bowed as the audience went into transports of delight, clapping and cheering. Spike bowed again and walked off the stage.
"Excellent," the announcer said "Really quite wonderful! I'm amazed he isn't professional. Although the hair leaves a little to be desired."
Angel watched the rest of it in a daze. He only seemed to wake up when the prizes were being given out.
"And in first place!" the announcer said "Spike Marsters for his amazing rendition of You Can Do If You Really Try!"
"Angel!" Faith shrieked "Spike's won $1000!"
"Huh," Angel managed as Spike collected the check.
* * * *
"Spike's won $1000!" Buffy screamed in Sunnydale "I can't believe it!"
"You can tell they weren't judging by looks," Anya said bluntly "That hair is truly foul."
"Do you think he'll remember his trusted and devoted friends now he's rich?" Xander said.
"No," everyone chorused.
* * * *
Angel was fast asleep when he was awoken by a banging on the door.
"Come on Angel, let me in! It's bloody freezing out here! Anyway, I've forgotten my key!"
Angel staggered up, shook his head to wake up and opened the door.
Spike was standing there, clutching his check. He was wearing his biggest, smirkiest, stupid Spike grin on his face, the affect of which was no way lessened by the hair.
"I love you," Angel said and threw his arms round Spike. Spike looked slightly startled and then hugged Angel back.
"It's just because I'm rich now isn't it?" he muttered, resting his head on Angel's shoulder.
"Nah," Angel said "You'll be using the money for things you want. Say... oh I don't know? Doctor Who?"
Spike knocked Angel over. Angel kicked the door shut and then began wrestling with Spike on the floor.
"I....don't.....like.....Doctor....Who!" Spike bellowed as they knocked over a table.
"You're destroying my furniture!" Angel said, whacking Spike with a broken table leg.
"It's a load of badly manufactured rubbish!" Spike yelled as they crashed into another table.
"Doctor Who or my furniture?" Angel asked as the remains of Faith chocolate cookie dough fell on them, splattering them with the stuff. Angel pinned Spike down laughing at him. Spike grinned up at his sire. Angel leaned down and licked some cookie dough off Spike's nose.
"Why didn't you wear your hat?" he asked, ruffling Spike's hair.
"I can make sacrifices too you know," Spike said softly.
Angel stared at him. Spike grinned back. Angel leaned down and kissed him.
At that moment, there was another banging on the door.
"Who is it?" Angel called, grumpily breaking off the kiss.
"Us!" Buffy shouted "Is Spike back yet?"
"Come in!" Angel yelled, quickly getting off Spike.
The Scoobies crowded in. They were all cheering Spike. They had brought CD's, alcohol, party hats, platinum hair dye and considerable numbers of Doctor Who videos.
"I'm going to kill you all!" Spike wailed.
"Giles handed them over," Buffy explained "He used to collect them. He's kept them hidden all this time."
"And we thought you might want a new hairdo," Anya said "Cause that one sucks!"
Spike sniffed haughtily. Angel smirked.
Around four hours later, they were happily watching Doctor Who, drinking.
"These two activities should not be mixed you know," Spike said after a while. "Why not?" Angel asked.
"Because all the people are going blurry and I can't remember which are the bad guys."
"That one on the left," Willow said pointing.
"That's the Doctor!"
"It's blurry anyway," Buffy said "These are crappy quality."
"It's because this one was first broadcast in 1967," Spike said "That last one was first broadcast in 1965 so of course the quality isn't as good as it could be."
"Spike," Angel said.
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Why is that guy wearing a skirt?" Xander asked.
"It's because he's Scottish you great American pillock!" Spike said.
"But isn't it a bit impractical for....whatever bad guy they're fighting?" Xander asked.
"You aren't complaining about her frock thing which makes her look like a total prat!"
"But she's Victorian!"
"So bloody what? No excuse not to wear a short tight leather dress!"
"She's not wearing a short tight leather dress."
"Spike I very rarely watch Doctor Who but even I know that short tight leather dresses are fairly thin on the ground!"
"I think the more important question is weather he is wearing anything under that kilt?" "Who cares?"
"I do!"
"I wonder if they'd kept Doctor Who going, would they have had companions in short leather dresses?"
"You missed out the tight."
"What about ones with green hair?"
"Enough already!"
"I wonder if they could have had the Doctor in a short tight leather dress?"
"Ewwwww!"
Angel closed his eyes and listened to the happy sound of everyone having a good (if strange) argument.
* * * *
It was about six in the morning when someone banged on the door.
"Not again!" Angel hissed. Everyone looked up. Spike stopped the video and Angel answered the door. Then he closed it again.
"Spike?"
"Yes?"
"There's a Dalek on my doorstep."
There was a pause.
"Oh," Spike said eventually.
"Maybe if you just sit down and ignore it, it'll go away," Buffy suggested.
Angel nodded and sat down, closing his eyes again.
* * * *
When Angel opened his eyes, the banging was still going on. Angel answered the door again, wondering if he'd dreamed the Dalek or not. He decided that he was never going to ask. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Angel blinked. There was a demon on the front doorstep. It was absolutely huge with giant teeth and covered in fur. It was bearing it's teeth in a feral snarl. Angel quickly prepared for battle but the demon was shouting.
"YOU'VE NEVER STOPPED MAKING NOISE, NEVER! I CAN'T STAND IT! I CAN'T STAND IT!"
The demon turned and rushed away. Angel turned to look at everyone else.
"Huh?" he said finally.
"I think that was your next door neighbour," Buffy said.
"Maybe we were a bit loud," Willow agreed.
"Yeah," Angel agreed "Still, there's no need to get that mad. After all, normally, we're really good...."
The End.
Note - To any Doctor Who fans out there. Yes, yes, I know that Leela wore a short tight leather dress but if I'd said that it wouldn't have been as funny would it? So please don't complain. To any non Doctor Who fans who have no idea what I'm talking about for any of this, never mind, I hope it was still funny.
Ninth and hopefully last in the Pokémon Music Series.
By the Lovely Angels (Starrysapphire)
Disclaimer - Everything belongs to someone else whether it be Joss Whedon, Pikachu/Jigglypuff music or the many, many people involved in making Doctor Who (Terry Nation gets a special mention for Dalek creation.)
Setting - Buffy Season 5/Angel Season 2.
Angel was sitting in his apartment, absentmindedly reading one of Cordelia's magazines when Spike came in. He was wearing a bright red baseball cap which he kept fiddling with, as though checking it had gone on straight.
"Angel," he said after a moment.
"Yes?" Angel asked, wondering if Spike was going to ask if his hat was straight. If he did, Angel had already decided that he was going to tell Spike that it off to one side.
"Why are you reading that?" Spike asked.
Nothing about his hat then. "I am very bored. All good literature suddenly seems boring and the one book I wanted to read got stolen with the car," Angel said.
"Tell me about it," Spike said grumpily "The first edition of Playboy was in that car!"
"You'll get over it," Angel said.
"It was in mint condition," Spike continued sulkily "It was going to be worth lots of money and I was going to sell it one day. And it was all your fault!"
"You should have kept it in the apartment," Angel said.
"Oh yes, and have it get stolen like those film reels I stole from the BBC? No thank you!"
"Film reels?" Angel said, finally looking up.
Spike turned brick red.
"Dru insisted," he mumbled "She really liked Doctor Who, see and so we just nipped in and took a couple of episodes..."
"I always wondered what happened to some of those missing episodes," Angel said dryly "Which ones?"
"I dunno. I just grabbed an armful with Doctor Who written on them and legged it," Spike said "Kept me.... Dru happy for hours. Then we left 'em in the apartment and some bugger broke in and nicked the lot!"
Angel tried not to start laughing hysterically.
"So you never watched any then?" he said innocently.
"Never. Couldn't stand the crap, all those monsters made from tin foil and chicken wire," Spike said, his brick red darkening to a beautiful crimson scarlet.
"Yes," Angel said using what he knew Spike referred to as his I-know-you're-lying but-I-couldn't-care-less-and-will-wear-you-down-eventually voice.
"Stop that!" Spike snapped "I did so hate it!"
"Okay," Angel agreed maddeningly.
Spike threw a china vase at Angel and went to sulk in Cordelia's room. Then he opened the door again.
"Oh, and Wesley says hi."
"How's the broken arm?" Angel asked.
"Well he didn't exactly appreciate you breaking it," Spike said.
"Well it's his fault," Angel said "Those bloody videos! So far, three people have asked for my autograph and six people have started laughing hysterically at the very sight of me! How is Wesley anyway?"
"Fine," Spike said.
Angel nodded.
"Spike," he said "How was the car getting stolen my fault?"
Spike made a really strange noise that reminded Angel of an apoplectic kettle.
"How?!" he sputtered "How?! Oh why don't we go swimming Spike? It'll be really fun! A really nice late night swimming pool! I'll see if you even remember any of my swimming lessons! No need to worry, we'll leave the car in the car park!"
Angel choked slightly. Spike continued his tirade of outrage.
"So then of course I come out and start drying off and then you tell me the cars gone and then you start laughing at me and I want to know what's funny and nooo, you don't tell me, oh no, you just claim slight hysteria from lack of car and we set off walking and everyone drops dead laughing at me but you just keep walking and insist nothing's wrong! And you let Cordelia tell me! Cordelia! How could you?!"
Angel sank his teeth into his lip to stop himself laughing.
"Tell you what?" he choked out innocently.
Spike screamed wildly and appeared to be trying to pull his own head off.
"My hair!" he howled "My hair! Green! Green! Green! The laughter! The humiliation! The suffering! The fact that the damn green won't stop being green! The despair and anguish and horror of it all!"
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Angel asked.
Spike made another strange screaming noise and whipped off the cap. Angel had to admit that Spike's hair was foul. A sort of dull bronzy green with bits of platinum blonde.
"Poor Spike," he said. Spike stopped sounding like an apoplectic kettle and began making pitiful little whimpering noises. Angel went over and hugged him.
"I used to watch them," he said casually "Doctor Who, I mean."
"Really?" Spike asked "Did you see the one where....no Angel, I don't like Doctor Who! No! Stop grinning at me!"
* * * *
Three days later, Wesley had returned to work with his arm in a sling and was refusing to talk to Angel, concentrating instead on the Scroll of Aberjian. He was trying to translate more of them.
"You've been pouring over the scrolls for three hours solid," Faith remarked. She was letting Cordelia paint her nails a lurid pink and watching Wesley "Isn't it time you took a break?"
"No..." Wesley muttered "I may be onto something very interesting...."
"You keep trailing off," Angel remarked "You sound a lot like Pat Troughton."
"Who?" Cordelia asked, frowning as she concentrated.
"He acted the second Doctor Who," Spike said. He then snarled with rage and threw a file at Angel "Dru told me, you puff!"
Angel caught the file and turned away, snickering. Spike scowled and readjusted his baseball cap. Faith raised an eyebrow but Spike said nothing. He had sworn Angel and Cordelia to secrecy about his hair and Wesley and Faith didn't know. Spike had it firmly concealed under the cap which looked very strange with his normal outfit.
"What on earth...?" Wesley muttered suddenly.
"Maybe it's not from earth," Angel teased "Maybe it's a Dalek!"
"Angel, shut UP!"
"No," Wesley said "I rather think the word is Pokémon."
"WHAT?!"
Everyone gathered round in about ten seconds.
"Pokémon!"
"What's that got to do with the Scroll of Aberjian?"
"Is that in the Angel part?"
"I don't know!" Wesley said "Give me a chance!"
Everyone backed off, watching as Wesley worked.
"Good Lord," he said finally "I don't think you'll believe this!"
"Go on then! Stun us!" Faith said.
"It says that the vampire with a soul is eternally linked to his favourite childe by Pokémon," Wesley said "Basically anyway. It is foreseen that the music will bring them together so they can complete their destinies."
There was a long pause.
"Bloody hell," Spike said finally.
"Huh," Angel said.
"I have to phone Buffy," Cordelia said.
Faith simply laughed.
* * * *
Later, Angel was lying on his bed, thinking. My Way was pounding though the walls, distracting him.
(Angel's long suffering next door neighbour added more pillows to the piles over his ears)
"Spike turn that crap off!" Angel yelled finally "I'm trying to think!"
The Sex Pistols stopped their out-of-tune warblings and Spike walked in, looking slightly sulky (and, Angel noticed, quickly adjusting his hat.)
"About what Peaches?" he asked.
"Pokémon," Angel said flatly.
Spike sat down, looking at his sire.
"When I first saw Pokémon," Angel said "I felt this really weird....connection I suppose. I ignored it but I remembered it when I captured Willow. I just wanted to...to annoy you and Buffy. Instead....well it reminded me. And then somehow everything kept connecting, you know. And now..."
"It's been written about," Spike said.
"How much of my life is planned Spike?" Angel asked, sitting up and looking at his childe.
"I don't know," Spike said. "I don't want my life to be planned," Angel confessed "I don't want it to be. Maybe I'll just screw this sanshu and just go and hide away."
"You can't do that!" Spike said looking scandalised "You've been looking forward to this bleedin' sanshu for almost a year!"
"But then I'll lose you," Angel said softly.
Spike blinked, looking shocked.
"I don't know Spike," Angel said "I don't want to lose you but I don't want to disappoint the Powers That Be either. But I don't want to live a planned life. I don't know."
He flopped back on the bed despondently. Spike looked unhappily at his sire, unsure of what to do. Eventually, he cuddled up to Angel and tried to think.
* * * *
When Angel woke up the next day, there was a message from Spike saying that he had gone away for a couple of days and not to worry. Angel shrugged. His brain was still to full of questions to wonder about Spike much. Anyway, he supposed it was something to do with Spike's hair.
He spent the next few days wandering round the apartment, avoiding the Pokémon CD. His brain was still reeling with questions that he couldn't possibly answer. Faith tried to cheer him up but he wouldn't be cheered.
On the fourth night, Faith gave up trying to convince him to come to a night-club. She made some chocolate cookie dough instead and began flipping channels on the TV. Eventually, she found some woman warbling Phantom of the Opera.
"Oh God, turn that off!" Angel said "She can't sing!"
"But I love this song!" Faith protested. She curled up comfortably on the sofa and looked in the newspaper "It's a live karaoke thing. The winner gets $1000!"
Angel grinned and sat next to Faith, watching. Andrew Lloyd Webber seemed quite popular among the people with Jesus Christ, Superstar coming after Phantom. Then someone came up and sang the Sex Pistols version of My Way which put Angel in hysterics. A guy came up next and sang a song called The Fastest Milkman In the West. After that, Faith began recording the show.
"My problem - apart from making a fool of myself in public - would be the live part," Angel said "Imagine if you got your words wrong? Ugh."
There were several songs that they didn't know. Angel got bored and began judging the good looks or otherwise of the people. He and Faith were arguing about a dark-haired guy when the announcer's voice cut though their argument.
"Now, coming next, Spike Marsters!"
Angel and Faith turned and stared in amazement at the screen. Spike came onto the stage.
"What's happened to his hair?" Faith shrieked. Angel stared. Spike wasn't wearing a hat! His disgusting green hair was on display on live television!
"Hello ladies and gentlemen," he said into the microphone "I'm singing this song for my friend Angel tonight - so Scoobies if you're watching, phone Angel and make sure he's watching the telly would you? And you can all stop laughing coz I wanted my hair this colour. I needed a change and I think it looks cool. And don't you roll your eyes at me Buffy - see I know you so well! Anyway, Angel will get the message when he hears the song. Oh and for the record Angel, I hate Doctor Who!"
Angel felt his brain howling in agony. The rest of him was just watching Spike. Faith had grabbed the phone and was telling everyone to watch this channel because Spike was live on TV with green hair!
The music began and Spike started to sing.
"In the morning when you wake up. Open your eyes to a new day. Look around at the gifts you've got. You've been so lucky along the way. Time to finish what you've begun. Have the faith, you're the one. Throw your hat high, up to the sun. Now you face your greatest test. Use the lessons that you've learned. Your goal is to be the best. And claim the prize that you've earned. Ever since you were a young man. You've kept your eye on the master plan. To reach for the top, and touch the sky. It's your destiny. To spread your wings and fly."
Angel sat there, staring at Spike as he began the chorus.
"You can do it if you really try. You can do it if you really try. Spread your wings and learn to fly. You can do it if you really, really try."
Faith tore her eyes away from the screen to Angel. She could see tears glimmering in the corners of his eyes.
"Keen movin' forward, to stay alive," Spike sang "Trust your heart, and you'll survive. Follow your dreams never let them die. It's your destiny, to spread your wings and fly."
Spike began the chorus again. All over the country, Scooby gang members were watching too, staring in amazement.
"You can do it if you really try. You've got the power! You can do it if you really try. Just open your eyes. Reach for the top, and touch the sky. You can do it. You can do it!"
Spike bowed as the audience went into transports of delight, clapping and cheering. Spike bowed again and walked off the stage.
"Excellent," the announcer said "Really quite wonderful! I'm amazed he isn't professional. Although the hair leaves a little to be desired."
Angel watched the rest of it in a daze. He only seemed to wake up when the prizes were being given out.
"And in first place!" the announcer said "Spike Marsters for his amazing rendition of You Can Do If You Really Try!"
"Angel!" Faith shrieked "Spike's won $1000!"
"Huh," Angel managed as Spike collected the check.
* * * *
"Spike's won $1000!" Buffy screamed in Sunnydale "I can't believe it!"
"You can tell they weren't judging by looks," Anya said bluntly "That hair is truly foul."
"Do you think he'll remember his trusted and devoted friends now he's rich?" Xander said.
"No," everyone chorused.
* * * *
Angel was fast asleep when he was awoken by a banging on the door.
"Come on Angel, let me in! It's bloody freezing out here! Anyway, I've forgotten my key!"
Angel staggered up, shook his head to wake up and opened the door.
Spike was standing there, clutching his check. He was wearing his biggest, smirkiest, stupid Spike grin on his face, the affect of which was no way lessened by the hair.
"I love you," Angel said and threw his arms round Spike. Spike looked slightly startled and then hugged Angel back.
"It's just because I'm rich now isn't it?" he muttered, resting his head on Angel's shoulder.
"Nah," Angel said "You'll be using the money for things you want. Say... oh I don't know? Doctor Who?"
Spike knocked Angel over. Angel kicked the door shut and then began wrestling with Spike on the floor.
"I....don't.....like.....Doctor....Who!" Spike bellowed as they knocked over a table.
"You're destroying my furniture!" Angel said, whacking Spike with a broken table leg.
"It's a load of badly manufactured rubbish!" Spike yelled as they crashed into another table.
"Doctor Who or my furniture?" Angel asked as the remains of Faith chocolate cookie dough fell on them, splattering them with the stuff. Angel pinned Spike down laughing at him. Spike grinned up at his sire. Angel leaned down and licked some cookie dough off Spike's nose.
"Why didn't you wear your hat?" he asked, ruffling Spike's hair.
"I can make sacrifices too you know," Spike said softly.
Angel stared at him. Spike grinned back. Angel leaned down and kissed him.
At that moment, there was another banging on the door.
"Who is it?" Angel called, grumpily breaking off the kiss.
"Us!" Buffy shouted "Is Spike back yet?"
"Come in!" Angel yelled, quickly getting off Spike.
The Scoobies crowded in. They were all cheering Spike. They had brought CD's, alcohol, party hats, platinum hair dye and considerable numbers of Doctor Who videos.
"I'm going to kill you all!" Spike wailed.
"Giles handed them over," Buffy explained "He used to collect them. He's kept them hidden all this time."
"And we thought you might want a new hairdo," Anya said "Cause that one sucks!"
Spike sniffed haughtily. Angel smirked.
Around four hours later, they were happily watching Doctor Who, drinking.
"These two activities should not be mixed you know," Spike said after a while. "Why not?" Angel asked.
"Because all the people are going blurry and I can't remember which are the bad guys."
"That one on the left," Willow said pointing.
"That's the Doctor!"
"It's blurry anyway," Buffy said "These are crappy quality."
"It's because this one was first broadcast in 1967," Spike said "That last one was first broadcast in 1965 so of course the quality isn't as good as it could be."
"Spike," Angel said.
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Why is that guy wearing a skirt?" Xander asked.
"It's because he's Scottish you great American pillock!" Spike said.
"But isn't it a bit impractical for....whatever bad guy they're fighting?" Xander asked.
"You aren't complaining about her frock thing which makes her look like a total prat!"
"But she's Victorian!"
"So bloody what? No excuse not to wear a short tight leather dress!"
"She's not wearing a short tight leather dress."
"Spike I very rarely watch Doctor Who but even I know that short tight leather dresses are fairly thin on the ground!"
"I think the more important question is weather he is wearing anything under that kilt?" "Who cares?"
"I do!"
"I wonder if they'd kept Doctor Who going, would they have had companions in short leather dresses?"
"You missed out the tight."
"What about ones with green hair?"
"Enough already!"
"I wonder if they could have had the Doctor in a short tight leather dress?"
"Ewwwww!"
Angel closed his eyes and listened to the happy sound of everyone having a good (if strange) argument.
* * * *
It was about six in the morning when someone banged on the door.
"Not again!" Angel hissed. Everyone looked up. Spike stopped the video and Angel answered the door. Then he closed it again.
"Spike?"
"Yes?"
"There's a Dalek on my doorstep."
There was a pause.
"Oh," Spike said eventually.
"Maybe if you just sit down and ignore it, it'll go away," Buffy suggested.
Angel nodded and sat down, closing his eyes again.
* * * *
When Angel opened his eyes, the banging was still going on. Angel answered the door again, wondering if he'd dreamed the Dalek or not. He decided that he was never going to ask. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
Angel blinked. There was a demon on the front doorstep. It was absolutely huge with giant teeth and covered in fur. It was bearing it's teeth in a feral snarl. Angel quickly prepared for battle but the demon was shouting.
"YOU'VE NEVER STOPPED MAKING NOISE, NEVER! I CAN'T STAND IT! I CAN'T STAND IT!"
The demon turned and rushed away. Angel turned to look at everyone else.
"Huh?" he said finally.
"I think that was your next door neighbour," Buffy said.
"Maybe we were a bit loud," Willow agreed.
"Yeah," Angel agreed "Still, there's no need to get that mad. After all, normally, we're really good...."
The End.
Note - To any Doctor Who fans out there. Yes, yes, I know that Leela wore a short tight leather dress but if I'd said that it wouldn't have been as funny would it? So please don't complain. To any non Doctor Who fans who have no idea what I'm talking about for any of this, never mind, I hope it was still funny.