A Pain That Won't Leave
By Soul Hunter
Part Fourteen
It had been generally a warm day with the sun rising up to a cloudless sky on this late spring morning. This was exactly the kind of day when people would come out early, not exactly to get a jump on their daily undertakings, but merely to bask in the gentle warmth of a sun gearing up to reclaim its season. The streets fill quite swiftly with the cheery sounds of children flicking their eyes and mouths about in searching for worthy opponents in a game of tag or 'The Boat is Sinking'. It was, in the truest sense of the word, a bright and picturesque day.
But Tifa still felt the haunting chill running down her entire body. She would have wanted to go out and just enjoy the sun, letting its revitalizing rays drum on her fair and soft complexion. Even though the morning was nearing its end and she's expecting to be called down anytime now for lunch, the splendor of the late morning still enticed her with its tempting resplendence. But she just didn't feel like it.
All she wanted to do was see Cloud. Talk to him. Maybe for the last time, she thought. It had been close to thirty minutes since he entered the door to the guestroom where Aeris was resting, and she had no clue whatsoever on what had already transpired. But the silence of the moment and the fact that Cloud hasn't come out yet seemed to tell her to give up her hope.
And even though she knew it would mean a hail of fiery darts hurled mercilessly toward her heart, Tifa can't seem to defeat the urge to take a peek inside the room. "Why is that?" She asked herself, wondering about the human penchant for persistently touching a fresh and open wound even though they knew exactly how much it's going to sting. She questioned why she would do this to herself, to insist on watching a scene that would definitely bring her a world of hurt.
She tried turning the doorknob. It wasn't locked.
She pushed, ever so cautiously, careful not to push too far and settling for a small crack to peep into.
She was wrong. The whole world couldn't begin to compare to the pain that she felt. Tifa felt as if her heart was mercilessly stabbed by the Ultima Weapon when she saw Cloud kneeling in front of Aeris, his arms wrapped tight around her body. She felt her soul torn asunder by the Princess Guard when she witnessed his quivering form his head buried within her rich, brown hair her fingers digging deep into his muscled back. Tifa saw the river of tears flowing down Aeris' eyes and her tear-drenched face held closely against Cloud's.
And it was a sight a million-fold more terrible than the coming of Meteor. It was a scene more horrible than Sephiroth's distorted angel form. It was even more heart-rending than the blazing red glow of a burning Nibelheim or the unmoving form of her murdered father.
Tifa had just seen her world fall apart.
And it was a sight that was beyond her power to endure. She clutched her chest, and felt her heart numbing to the torment. She knew this to be the calm before the storm. The unfeeling moment that preceded the dark and tempestuous hour when her psyche finally catches up to the tragedy of her loss. She felt her heart skip a beat, but she didn't feel like crying. Not yet. A little bit later, maybe.
Walking sluggishly, Tifa then proceeded to her room and locked the door behind her.
----------
The gunslinger raised his arms to tell his comrades to stay back as the lion-beast strutted slowly toward the green maelstrom. They didn't know what he planned to do in accomplishing a seemingly daunting task. But right now, they really can't see any option offered to them.
While approaching the crevice, his mane started to ruffle as a result of the unearthly winds being blown forth from the miniature hurricane. But the proud warrior persisted even though he can feel the force of a billion lifeforces fighting to push him back. He wasn't wanted, they seemed to say. He wasn't the one who can heal the planet's wound. He couldn't hope to be ambassador to a world whose only wish was to be relieved of the pains inflicted to it by the one who didn't have the power to let go.
But he continued on, hell bent on hearing out their anguished voices. He remembered who he was, as his grandfather taught him. He kept in mind the calling that ran through a generation of sages and warriors that decorated his bloodline. It was his time to assume his role, all he needed to do was choose. But for now, the choice of wearing two crowns called out to him. Having taken the breastplate of a gladiator, he aided in defeating the misguided creature that mistook the planet's cries as a call for chastening. Having done away with the errant sentinel, he now garbed himself with the robe of a teacher and a communicator. Or more appropriately, a mediator. He will attempt to converse with the planet and perceive the reason behind its ills.
The wind blew stronger, and his paws began to scrape against the cold ground beneath him. He strained his powerful legs to move on, unmindful of the dying Lifestream's resistance. Ignoring its spiteful words telling him that they don't have anything to say to him.
Planting the sharp talons of his padded feet firmly on the ground around the fissure, the lion-beast heaved a deep breath, preparing himself for the coming battle. He then braved the swirling maelstrom, protruding his head inside the vortex in an attempt to directly connect with the planet's consciousness. It fought back, maintaining its stubborn insistence to reject him. They made it clear that they didn't want him. But similarly unfettered, he ignored the tearing pain starting to bludgeon his mind.
The lion then leaped into the twisting tempest.
----------
They didn't know how much time elapsed since they imprisoned themselves in each other's arms. They had lost count of the seconds and minutes. And it may already have been hours for all they know. But that wasn't important for Cloud and Aeris as they further tightened their blissful embrace.
Yes, there was no doubt in his mind anymore. Cloud closed his eyes, basking in this blithe moment while smelling the sweet scent emanating from the Ancient's ribbon-bound locks. He still can't believe this instant, this event that brought her back to him. But his skepticism was not anymore born of self-denial. He was simply happy. Immensely happy. His heart was awash with a brimming joy that he never thought possible.
He took her hand, and she acquiesced with a smile. Their fingers intertwined with each other, after which her soft hand touched his longing lips. Aeris looked at Cloud, her eyes beaming incomprehensible emotions as they absorbed the visage of a reveling being who had reclaimed his soul's longing.
"You're so beautiful" He whispered adoringly in her ears. "I don't think I've ever seen you this beautiful, Aeris"
"You're teasing me." She replied.
"No I mean it. I really do."
"Alright, I believe you. I guess that's what happens to a person after a long period of absence. No matter how I look like, you will surely say that I'm pretty."
"Have I never told you that you are?" Cloud asked, his eyebrows elevating slightly.
"Never." She beamed. "Besides, it's not like we had a chance to spend time like this before. We were so busy then"
"Yeah I know what you mean"
A moment of silence permeated as Cloud and Aeris were inadvertently drawn to reminisce the struggles they faced a year ago. A cacophony of past images were strung inside their minds, representing a series of events that began with the first time they met in that chapel in Midgar's slum area. Cloud smiled, recalling the beauty of that moment. He had thought himself dead then after falling off a towering catwalk that collapsed after their battle against a Shinra automaton. When he opened his eyes, he thought he saw an angel. An angel whom he then remembered to be the one that shaved his pocket one Gil short in exchange for a rare blossom. He also recalled the flowerbed that he fell into, and the voice of the angel that promised him one night in exchange for his protection.
"We never got to go on that date, did we, Aeris?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You know you said you'd spend a night with me if a promise to be your bodyguard."
"Oh that" Aeris trailed off while contemplating. "Yes we did. You're planning to put one over me, are you?"
"No I am not. And we didn't have that date."
"Don't tell me you forgot about Gold Saucer." Aeris blurted out.
"You call that a date? We haven't even spent a whole hour yet when we discovered what Cait Sith had been doing" Cloud countered before abruptly changing the subject. "By the way, have you met Reeve?"
"No, not yet." She answered. "But I did catch a glimpse of him before I passed out back at the reactor. He looks like a nice guy."
"Yeah, he is. If it wasn't for his help we wouldn't have been able to stop Hojo from blowing up Midgar." He faded. "I'm sorry you missed it all"
"Yeah Tifa told me all about it" Aeris came back before falling silent. As if perceiving her mind, Cloud similarly fell into the same reverie, as he began to think about the bargirl anew. In truth, he had been thinking about this, about a possible dilemma that he might face in an event similar to this. Not that he was actually expecting Aeris to come back. Prior to her return, Cloud knew about the hopeless situation that was besetting him. But the moments of wishful thinking that he frequently found himself in did bring him to explore possible courses of actions to resolve a dilemma in that dream world where Aeris was alive once more.
Now, it had become real. And he didn't know the first thing to expect. Cloud didn't want to hurt Tifa, that much he was sure of. He loves her too much to bring her this kind of pain.
Wait a minute he loves Tifa.
But he also loves Aeris
And there can be only one
The tearing conflict drilled into his mind mercilessly. For a moment, Cloud was gripped with a nagging uncertainty on who to choose and who to hurt.
But one look at Aeris' lovely face instantly wiped away his dilemma. And though he knew that his choice was now obvious, he still had to contend with the chore of breaking the bad news. Not that Tifa didn't know, Cloud told himself. The way she had been acting recently handily made him understand that she had accepted all but the decision to leave the house. Actually, she already would have if not for Marlene.
Cloud definitely didn't want this, but he knew there wasn't really any other recourse.
"I I have to tell Tifa"
Aeris felt her heart crumble as a result of his reluctant statement. He stared back at Cloud with melancholic eyes. The look of sadness in those verdant jewels surprised him.
"What what's with that look?" He asked pensively.
"What do you need to tell Tifa?"
" About us Why are you asking?"
She didn't answer. But deep inside her mind, a renewed urgency sprang out, nagging her to keep her mind on her real objective. She turned away from Cloud to hide the anguished look in her face.
"You don't have to, Cloud" She wanted to say. But Aeris just can't find the strength to voice out those ominous words. She can't bring herself to reveal to him the dreadful secret that for the last two days, she had been living on borrowed time.
----------
They wanted desperately to come to his aid. But they knew they can't, heeding the formless vision and the silent voice that roused them from slumber and brought them all here. But the resonating voice of their tormented friend nibbled excruciatingly. They hated the fact that however they wanted to, they simply can't come rushing forth to his aid.
The harrowing wails continued to reverberate from the maelstrom. Inside, the folded figure of the tormented lion-beast continued to buck and convulse. He cried out loud, screamed in unimaginable agony as the immeasurable wrath of the hurting Lifestream tore into him like the fires of a blazing furnace. Every fiber in his body was bellowing out in pain, every bone in his anatomy felt as if it's shattering into a million tiny shards. From his eyes came smoldering tears, protesting against the torturous pain besieging him. He could have sworn he felt his skin come off, his flesh tear to pieces, every joint in his body reverse in a contorted fracture.
Regret was easy to come by during moments like this. And he felt as if he had taken on more than he could endure. He was only one mortal, one puny being who arrogantly thought he could take on the might of an entire world hell bent on vengeance. The terrible hour had brought him an understanding of how small he was of how powerless he was in the face of a planet's rancor.
Crying out desperately for help, his mind unwittingly recalled the words imparted to him by his wise grandfather. He had told then about this very moment when he might be forced by his destiny to offer himself in exchange for a world's rest. He had said then of this day when he shall be compelled to endure pain to calm the anger of an ailing Lifestream. And he had advised on one hope: the hope that the single-minded world would heed his words and listen to his cries.
That's what he needed, the lion-beast finally understood. If the planet will not hear him, he will need a mediator. An intercessor. One who knew of his hate first before his love. One who saw nothing but darkness in him before seeing his light. And in this lonely world of strife and anguish, he could only think of one.
"FATHER!!!"
A flicker of white light began to shine in the void of green. It started out as minute, insignificant, small. But as he stared at the little comet, it began to grow, finally manifesting as a speeding spirit who heard his call and had come to his aid.
"My son" The mystical echo reverberated. His tears began to stream anew, but not from pain. He couldn't possibly measure the joy in his heart for finally coming face to face with his sire. The father shone in all glory, glory that wasn't his own. But rather one that radiated from his heart, symbolic of his profound love and pride for the son who stood before him. He felt his pain, and yet relieved it almost without effort with a simple look from his eyes that expressed faith.
Almost immediately, the lion-beast sensed the pain going away. At first he thought it due to death finally embracing his frail form. But it wasn't. As he turned to his father, he noticed the magnificent halo of pure, white light forming before them. His father conversed with the manifestation for a few moments before turning back to him. And the elder lion warrior narrated a story about a restless soul whose essence was sacrificed for the salvation of the world. An anguished soul who cannot find true peace under the relentless pain brought about by the voice of a self-reprising individual who could not accept her departure.
That soul, with her pain, inadvertently subjected the planet to the same harrowing nightmares. The spirit of the Ancient knew of the chaos welling out from her, but she could not do anything to bring forth resolution. She could not tame the remnants of her mortal heart that answered to the aching voice from the other side. As much as she wanted to stop it, she can't avoid infecting the Lifestream of the wails of unforgiving hearts unwilling to let go of dead memories. And she had no recourse but to escape, using forbidden faculties that enabled her to tear herself of from the river of lifeforces. And in the process, she created the wound that had been torturing the planet since.
The lion-beast recalled the blurred vision that called on to him. And finally, he understood what needed to happen, and what he must do. He spoke with his father once more, and offered himself as the conduit to bring back the spirit of the ancient.
He closed his eyes and wept, feeling a deep sadness. It was now in his hands to send his beloved friend back to the Lifestream
To send her away from them
"Auggh!"
"Aeris! What's wrong?" Cloud echoed, suddenly alarmed when he felt her fingers dig deep into his arms.
"Cloud it it hurts!"
"What? What hurts?!?"
He was now frantic, holding on to her as she began to collapse on the floor. His horror then multiplied a million-fold when he felt something moist lining the midsection of her dress.
Cloud froze in horror when he pulled out his hands. They were dripping with blood.
To Be Concluded