"Fore and Four (Part II),"
by Capt. Janeway
SUMMARY: Part II of "Fore and Four" . . . The Cigarette-Smoking Man dies (again!),
Skinner has an encounter with exploding golf balls, Doggett helps me with my writer's block, and lots
more . . .
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: See Disclaimer used in Part I.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please read Part I first!! :)
FEEDBACK: Same as Part I. Thanx!!! ;)
******************************************************************************
Previously on the X-Files . . .
+ Mulder, Scully, and Skinner were about to start their golf game without
Krycek, Marita, the Cigarette-Smoking Man, and the Lone Gunmen as they were very late
+ Agent Doggett was left unconscious at the first tee after Mulder clobbered him with his
driver
+ The Cigarette-Smoking Man was abandoned by Marita and Krycek on the side of a
freeway
+ Langly and Frohike were driving Byers insane
+ Krycek and Marita were bickering over whether nothing is something
And now, the conclusion . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The Lone Gunmen's car. They are almost at the golf course, much to BYER's relief.
LANGLY and FROHIKE are now playing "Twenty Questions":)
FROHIKE: Is it a person?
LANGLY: Yes.
FROHIKE: Is it a person I like?
LANGLY (laughing): Oh, yeah!!
FROHIKE: I'm assuming the person is female, then . . .
LANGLY: Is that a question?
FROHIKE: No!! Of course not!!
LANGLY: You idiot!! Of course it was!! That's three questions!!
FROHIKE: Well, why'd you ask me?!
LANGLY (ignoring FROHIKE's question): You've used three questions!!
FROHIKE: Have not!!
LANGLY: Have too!!
BYERS: Guys, cut it out!!
LANGLY (grudgingly): All right. Fine. It doesn't count.
FROHIKE: Okay . . . ummm . . . what color is her hair?
LANGLY: You can only ask "Yes or No" questions!!
FROHIKE: All right, all right . . . sheesh!! Does she have blonde hair?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE: Is she a brunette?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE: Does she have blue hair?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE (muttering under his breath): Darn!! That would have made it so much easier!!
LANGLY: You've used five questions.
FROHIKE: Is she a redhead?
LANGLY: Uh . . . lemme see . . . yes.
FROHIKE: Well, that narrows it down to thirteen.
BYERS (surprised): Thirteen?!
FROHIKE: Yup. Ummm . . . is it what's-her-face . . . uhhh . . . the actress . . .
BYERS: Lucille Ball?
FROHIKE: No!!
LANGLY: Is it that Gillian Anderson?
FROHIKE: Yeah!! That's her name!!
LANGLY: That's not who I've got in mind. You've used six questions.
FROHIKE: Darn. You know, she's got a striking resemblance to Scully . . . Is it Scully?
LANGLY (defeated): Yeah.
FROHIKE: Ha!! I won!!! (to LANGLY) Looooooser!! You're a loooooser!!
LANGLY: Shut-up!!
FROHIKE (ignoring LANGLY's protest): Loooooooooooooo-seeeeerrrrrrrrrr!!!!
LANGLY: Byers!! Make him stop!!
BYERS (annoyed): Frohike, don't be a sore winner. Langly, don't be a sore loser.
LANGLY & FROHIKE (like toddlers who have just been scolded): Okay.
BYERS: Besides, we're almost there.
LANGLY & FROHIKE: Alright!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: MARITA and KRYCEK's car. They're still fighting:)
MARITA: . . . But nothing HAS to be SOMETHING, because when you say nothing, you're
saying something!!
KRYCEK (vehemently): I said nothing!!
MARITA: Nothing is something!!
KRYCEK: Is not!!
MARITA: Is too!!
KRYCEK: Is not!!
MARITA: Is too!!
KRYCEK (suddenly losing his train of thought): Uhhh . . . Marita?
MARITA: What?!
KRYCEK: What're we fighting about?
MARITA: Ummmm . . . Idunno. I forgot.
KRYCEK: Mmmmm . . . couldn't have been that important.
MARITA: Yeah.
KRYCEK: Marita?
MARITA: Yes, Alex?
KRYCEK: I love you.
MARITA: Oh, Alex! I love you too!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The side of a freeway. We see the Cigarette-Smoking Man dying a very slow, painful,
and satisfying death under the intense heat of the sun as cars pass by:)
CSM (imitating the Wicked Witch of the West from the "Wizard of Oz"): Help!! I'm melting!!
Eeeeeeeek!!! I'm MEEEELLLLLTIIIIIIINNNG!!!!!!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The first tee. MULDER and SKINNER are standing together to the right, while on
the left side of the camera, SCULLY is preparing take a swing. DOGGETT is still unconscious on the
cart path behind the tee box. SCULLY swings, then goes back to MULDER and SKINNER.
MULDER goes to the tee box and starts preparing to swing, while SCULLY and SKINNER play
Snake. MULDER swings, then goes back to SCULLY and SKINNER. SKINNER now goes to the
tee box, while MULDER and SCULLY suddenly have an eruption of stifled laughs when SCULLY
whispers to MULDER:)
SCULLY: I replaced all his golf balls with those fake golf balls that explode!
MULDER (whispering with surprise): Scully!! That's not like you!
SCULLY (giggling): I know!! I just felt kinda weird today, so I did it!!
(SKINNER takes a swing at his ball, which, of course, explodes the moment the club head hits
it. MULDER and SCULLY laugh uncontrollably as SKINNER tries to figure out what happened to
the ball. Eventually, SKINNER goes back to his golf bag and gets out another ball. He swings at it,
and it naturally explodes, causing MULDER and SCULLY to laugh even more. SKINNER still can't
understand why his golf balls are exploding, so he gets out another golf ball, swings, and the golf ball
explodes. MULDER and SCULLY are now laughing so hard that they look like they're crying from
our perspective.)
SKINNER (disappointed): Ummmm . . . Look, Agents. I think you two had better go on
without me . . . I bought some really cheap golf balls, and they keep exploding. I don't think I'll be able
to play. Sorry.
MULDER (trying very hard to hold back a deluge of laughter): That's . . . uh . . . heh that's
okay, sir . . . we'll manage.
SKINNER: Okay. Have a good game.
(SKINNER walks away to the parking lot. MULDER and SCULLY laugh very hard as they
walk away, presumably toward their balls. Poor Agent DOGGETT is still unconscious, but they pay
no attention to him . . . so cruel . . . so cold-hearted and unsympathetic to his plight . . . Oh, man!! I
gotta do something about this!!!. Suddenly, the author of this fanfic, Capt. JANEWAY, appears out
of nowhere:)
JANEWAY: Agent Doggett!!
(DOGGETT doesn't respond.)
JANEWAY: Agent Doggett, wake up!!
(Suddenly, DOGGETT's right hand gives a little twitch.)
JANEWAY (muttering to herself): Well, that's a good sign, I guess . . . HEY DOGGETT!!!
(DOGGETT slowly starts to wake up.)
DOGGETT: Wha ?! Where am I?
JANEWAY: You're at the first tee of a golf course somewhere sunny.
DOGGETT: Am I am I dead?
JANEWAY: No . . . Lucky for you, I'm the author of this fanfic. I'm a big fan of yours, so I
won't let you die.
DOGGETT: Okay . . . but if you're the almighty, all-knowing, all-seeing author, why did you let
Mulder whap me on the head with his driver?
JANEWAY: Because the other fanfic authors would kill me if you had won.
DOGGETT: Yeah, but I wouldn't have this splitting headache!!
JANEWAY: Do you have any idea what the other fanfic authors would do to you if I wasn't
around to save you?! They'd kill you over and over and over again like I kill the Cigarette-Smoking
Man in my fics!! I wouldn't be able to protect you if I was dead, now, would I?
DOGGETT: Good point. (there is a pause, then:) Well, what am I supposed to do now?
JANEWAY: Uh-oh . . . ummmm . . . hang on for a minute . . . I'll think of something . . .
(muttering under her breath) Stupid writer's block!! Ugh!!
(There is a pause, then:)
DOGGETT (doubtfully): Are you sure I'm not dead?
JANEWAY: Very.
DOGGETT: Okay.
(A pause, then:)
DOGGETT: You'd tell me if I was dead, wouldn't you?
JANEWAY: Of course, Agent Doggett.
DOGGETT: Mmmmmm . . . Idunno . . . I think I'm dead.
JANEWAY: You're not dead, Agent Doggett!! I can assure you, you're very alive!! Now be
quiet so I can think of a way to move the plot in a forward direction!!
DOGGETT: Oh. Okay.
(A pause, then:)
DOGGETT: Ummm . . . Almighty Author Person Ma'am?
JANEWAY: The name's Capt. Janeway.
DOGGETT: Right. Capt. Janeway?
JANEWAY: What?
DOGGETT: How long are you going to take to get a plot together?
JANEWAY: Not too much longer, Agent Doggett, so don't worry.
DOGGETT: I wasn't worried . . . just curious, that's all.
JANEWAY: Well, don't be curious, then.
DOGGETT: Okay.
(Another pause as Capt. JANEWAY continues to try to think about the plot, then:)
DOGGETT: Capt. Janeway?
JANEWAY (getting a little annoyed): What?
DOGGETT: You still haven't come up with a plot, right?
JANEWAY: Yeah.
DOGGETT: Well, uh, I've got an idea.
JANEWAY (very interested): An idea?! That's great!! What's your idea?
DOGGETT: Well, maybe, since you're here and all, you and I could go pester Mulder and
Scully, and maybe you get the Lone Gunmen over here to liven things up.
JANEWAY: That's a great idea, Agent Doggett!! Mmmmm . . . and I'll add just a little to that,
and I think we've got something!! This'll really save my neck!! Thanks!!
DOGGETT: No problemo.
JANEWAY: We'll have to do a scene change first, though. That okay with you?
DOGGETT: Yeah.
JANEWAY: Okay, hang on . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The Lone Gunmen's car. The car is just pulling up into the parking lot of the golf
course. BYERS is still behind the wheel, while LANGLY and FROHIKE continue to play "Twenty
Questions":)
LANGLY: Is it an animal?
FROHIKE: No.
LANGLY: Is it a person?
FROHIKE: No.
LANGLY: Is it an extraterrestrial?
FROHIKE: Not quite.
LANGLY: Is it an alien-human hybrid?
FROHIKE: Yes.
LANGLY: Is it Cassandra Spender?
FROHIKE: Darn!!
LANGLY: Yeeees!!! I won!! I won!!!
BYERS: Hey, guys, we're here!!
LANGLY & FROHIKE: Yay!!
LANGLY: I wanna buy some stuff at the pro shop!!
FROHIKE: I wanna get a huge sandwich at the restaurant!!
BYERS: Settle down, guys!! We're only here to play golf.
FROHIKE: Awwww, man . . .
BYERS: With Scully, Doggett, and Skinner.
LANGLY: Agent Doggett's cool . . .
FROHIKE: Yes!! All right!! Scully's gonna be there!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: Near where MULDER and SCULLY are playing golf. We see JANEWAY and
DOGGETT hiding behind some trees. DOGGETT gives a silent count to three, and they both rush out
from behind the trees, startling MULDER and SCULLY:)
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester, pester, pester!!
SCULLY: Eeeeeeeeek!!
MULDER: They're pestering us!!
SCULLY (stumbling over a tree root): Mulder!!
MULDER: Scully!! Give me your hand!!
SCULLY (dramatically): No, Mulder!! It's too late for me!! They're going to pester me to
death!! Save yourself, Mulder!!
MULDER: No, Scully!! I won't leave you behind like that!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
SCULLY: You're a great agent, Mulder!! Don't do this to yourself!!
MULDER: I can't leave you behind, Scully!! Hang on!!
(MULDER rushes to SCULLY and grabs her arm. He yanks her up to her feet, and they run
away, with DOGGETT and JANEWAY at their heels:)
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: KRYCEK & MARITA's car, which is pulled over on the side of the freeway.
MARITA is getting very traumatized by this whole ordeal:)
MARITA: Alex!! We're out of gas on the side of a freeway in the middle of nowhere!! We're
going to die!!
KRYCEK (rolling his eyes): We're not going to die, Marita . . . just hang on. I'll call somebody
from the Call Box. It's just a little ways away . . .
MARITA (ignoring him): We're going to die!!
KRYCEK: Marita, don't worry . . . I'll take care of you.
MARITA: Oh my gosh, really, Alex!! Oh, you're so sweet!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: At the first tee. LANGLY, FROHIKE, and DOGGETT are all hanging around,
looking very lost:)
LANGLY: Where is everybody?
FROHIKE: They wouldn't have started without us, would they?
BYERS: No . . . It's so uncharacteristic of them to do something like that . . .
LANGLY: Yo, Byers, news flash: This is a fic written by Capt. Janeway. She can make you
hula-hoop while eating lemon meringue pie and singing "When You Wish Upon A Star" if she wants to.
BYERS: True . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: Back with MULDER, SCULLY, DOGGETT, and JANEWAY, all still running:)
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester!! Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
SCULLY: Mulder!!
MULDER: Scully!!
SCULLY: Is this stupid fanfic almost overwith?!
MULDER: I don't know!! Ask Capt. Janeway!! She's the author!!
SCULLY: Hey, Capt. Janeway!!
JANEWAY: What?! Pester, pester!!
SCULLY: Is this stupid fanfic almost overwith?!
JANEWAY: Sure!! Why not?! Pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEEND
Thank you for reading my fic!! Please let me know what you think by reviewing it for me!! Thanx! :)
by Capt. Janeway
SUMMARY: Part II of "Fore and Four" . . . The Cigarette-Smoking Man dies (again!),
Skinner has an encounter with exploding golf balls, Doggett helps me with my writer's block, and lots
more . . .
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: See Disclaimer used in Part I.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please read Part I first!! :)
FEEDBACK: Same as Part I. Thanx!!! ;)
******************************************************************************
Previously on the X-Files . . .
+ Mulder, Scully, and Skinner were about to start their golf game without
Krycek, Marita, the Cigarette-Smoking Man, and the Lone Gunmen as they were very late
+ Agent Doggett was left unconscious at the first tee after Mulder clobbered him with his
driver
+ The Cigarette-Smoking Man was abandoned by Marita and Krycek on the side of a
freeway
+ Langly and Frohike were driving Byers insane
+ Krycek and Marita were bickering over whether nothing is something
And now, the conclusion . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The Lone Gunmen's car. They are almost at the golf course, much to BYER's relief.
LANGLY and FROHIKE are now playing "Twenty Questions":)
FROHIKE: Is it a person?
LANGLY: Yes.
FROHIKE: Is it a person I like?
LANGLY (laughing): Oh, yeah!!
FROHIKE: I'm assuming the person is female, then . . .
LANGLY: Is that a question?
FROHIKE: No!! Of course not!!
LANGLY: You idiot!! Of course it was!! That's three questions!!
FROHIKE: Well, why'd you ask me?!
LANGLY (ignoring FROHIKE's question): You've used three questions!!
FROHIKE: Have not!!
LANGLY: Have too!!
BYERS: Guys, cut it out!!
LANGLY (grudgingly): All right. Fine. It doesn't count.
FROHIKE: Okay . . . ummm . . . what color is her hair?
LANGLY: You can only ask "Yes or No" questions!!
FROHIKE: All right, all right . . . sheesh!! Does she have blonde hair?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE: Is she a brunette?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE: Does she have blue hair?
LANGLY: No.
FROHIKE (muttering under his breath): Darn!! That would have made it so much easier!!
LANGLY: You've used five questions.
FROHIKE: Is she a redhead?
LANGLY: Uh . . . lemme see . . . yes.
FROHIKE: Well, that narrows it down to thirteen.
BYERS (surprised): Thirteen?!
FROHIKE: Yup. Ummm . . . is it what's-her-face . . . uhhh . . . the actress . . .
BYERS: Lucille Ball?
FROHIKE: No!!
LANGLY: Is it that Gillian Anderson?
FROHIKE: Yeah!! That's her name!!
LANGLY: That's not who I've got in mind. You've used six questions.
FROHIKE: Darn. You know, she's got a striking resemblance to Scully . . . Is it Scully?
LANGLY (defeated): Yeah.
FROHIKE: Ha!! I won!!! (to LANGLY) Looooooser!! You're a loooooser!!
LANGLY: Shut-up!!
FROHIKE (ignoring LANGLY's protest): Loooooooooooooo-seeeeerrrrrrrrrr!!!!
LANGLY: Byers!! Make him stop!!
BYERS (annoyed): Frohike, don't be a sore winner. Langly, don't be a sore loser.
LANGLY & FROHIKE (like toddlers who have just been scolded): Okay.
BYERS: Besides, we're almost there.
LANGLY & FROHIKE: Alright!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: MARITA and KRYCEK's car. They're still fighting:)
MARITA: . . . But nothing HAS to be SOMETHING, because when you say nothing, you're
saying something!!
KRYCEK (vehemently): I said nothing!!
MARITA: Nothing is something!!
KRYCEK: Is not!!
MARITA: Is too!!
KRYCEK: Is not!!
MARITA: Is too!!
KRYCEK (suddenly losing his train of thought): Uhhh . . . Marita?
MARITA: What?!
KRYCEK: What're we fighting about?
MARITA: Ummmm . . . Idunno. I forgot.
KRYCEK: Mmmmm . . . couldn't have been that important.
MARITA: Yeah.
KRYCEK: Marita?
MARITA: Yes, Alex?
KRYCEK: I love you.
MARITA: Oh, Alex! I love you too!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The side of a freeway. We see the Cigarette-Smoking Man dying a very slow, painful,
and satisfying death under the intense heat of the sun as cars pass by:)
CSM (imitating the Wicked Witch of the West from the "Wizard of Oz"): Help!! I'm melting!!
Eeeeeeeek!!! I'm MEEEELLLLLTIIIIIIINNNG!!!!!!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The first tee. MULDER and SKINNER are standing together to the right, while on
the left side of the camera, SCULLY is preparing take a swing. DOGGETT is still unconscious on the
cart path behind the tee box. SCULLY swings, then goes back to MULDER and SKINNER.
MULDER goes to the tee box and starts preparing to swing, while SCULLY and SKINNER play
Snake. MULDER swings, then goes back to SCULLY and SKINNER. SKINNER now goes to the
tee box, while MULDER and SCULLY suddenly have an eruption of stifled laughs when SCULLY
whispers to MULDER:)
SCULLY: I replaced all his golf balls with those fake golf balls that explode!
MULDER (whispering with surprise): Scully!! That's not like you!
SCULLY (giggling): I know!! I just felt kinda weird today, so I did it!!
(SKINNER takes a swing at his ball, which, of course, explodes the moment the club head hits
it. MULDER and SCULLY laugh uncontrollably as SKINNER tries to figure out what happened to
the ball. Eventually, SKINNER goes back to his golf bag and gets out another ball. He swings at it,
and it naturally explodes, causing MULDER and SCULLY to laugh even more. SKINNER still can't
understand why his golf balls are exploding, so he gets out another golf ball, swings, and the golf ball
explodes. MULDER and SCULLY are now laughing so hard that they look like they're crying from
our perspective.)
SKINNER (disappointed): Ummmm . . . Look, Agents. I think you two had better go on
without me . . . I bought some really cheap golf balls, and they keep exploding. I don't think I'll be able
to play. Sorry.
MULDER (trying very hard to hold back a deluge of laughter): That's . . . uh . . . heh that's
okay, sir . . . we'll manage.
SKINNER: Okay. Have a good game.
(SKINNER walks away to the parking lot. MULDER and SCULLY laugh very hard as they
walk away, presumably toward their balls. Poor Agent DOGGETT is still unconscious, but they pay
no attention to him . . . so cruel . . . so cold-hearted and unsympathetic to his plight . . . Oh, man!! I
gotta do something about this!!!. Suddenly, the author of this fanfic, Capt. JANEWAY, appears out
of nowhere:)
JANEWAY: Agent Doggett!!
(DOGGETT doesn't respond.)
JANEWAY: Agent Doggett, wake up!!
(Suddenly, DOGGETT's right hand gives a little twitch.)
JANEWAY (muttering to herself): Well, that's a good sign, I guess . . . HEY DOGGETT!!!
(DOGGETT slowly starts to wake up.)
DOGGETT: Wha ?! Where am I?
JANEWAY: You're at the first tee of a golf course somewhere sunny.
DOGGETT: Am I am I dead?
JANEWAY: No . . . Lucky for you, I'm the author of this fanfic. I'm a big fan of yours, so I
won't let you die.
DOGGETT: Okay . . . but if you're the almighty, all-knowing, all-seeing author, why did you let
Mulder whap me on the head with his driver?
JANEWAY: Because the other fanfic authors would kill me if you had won.
DOGGETT: Yeah, but I wouldn't have this splitting headache!!
JANEWAY: Do you have any idea what the other fanfic authors would do to you if I wasn't
around to save you?! They'd kill you over and over and over again like I kill the Cigarette-Smoking
Man in my fics!! I wouldn't be able to protect you if I was dead, now, would I?
DOGGETT: Good point. (there is a pause, then:) Well, what am I supposed to do now?
JANEWAY: Uh-oh . . . ummmm . . . hang on for a minute . . . I'll think of something . . .
(muttering under her breath) Stupid writer's block!! Ugh!!
(There is a pause, then:)
DOGGETT (doubtfully): Are you sure I'm not dead?
JANEWAY: Very.
DOGGETT: Okay.
(A pause, then:)
DOGGETT: You'd tell me if I was dead, wouldn't you?
JANEWAY: Of course, Agent Doggett.
DOGGETT: Mmmmmm . . . Idunno . . . I think I'm dead.
JANEWAY: You're not dead, Agent Doggett!! I can assure you, you're very alive!! Now be
quiet so I can think of a way to move the plot in a forward direction!!
DOGGETT: Oh. Okay.
(A pause, then:)
DOGGETT: Ummm . . . Almighty Author Person Ma'am?
JANEWAY: The name's Capt. Janeway.
DOGGETT: Right. Capt. Janeway?
JANEWAY: What?
DOGGETT: How long are you going to take to get a plot together?
JANEWAY: Not too much longer, Agent Doggett, so don't worry.
DOGGETT: I wasn't worried . . . just curious, that's all.
JANEWAY: Well, don't be curious, then.
DOGGETT: Okay.
(Another pause as Capt. JANEWAY continues to try to think about the plot, then:)
DOGGETT: Capt. Janeway?
JANEWAY (getting a little annoyed): What?
DOGGETT: You still haven't come up with a plot, right?
JANEWAY: Yeah.
DOGGETT: Well, uh, I've got an idea.
JANEWAY (very interested): An idea?! That's great!! What's your idea?
DOGGETT: Well, maybe, since you're here and all, you and I could go pester Mulder and
Scully, and maybe you get the Lone Gunmen over here to liven things up.
JANEWAY: That's a great idea, Agent Doggett!! Mmmmm . . . and I'll add just a little to that,
and I think we've got something!! This'll really save my neck!! Thanks!!
DOGGETT: No problemo.
JANEWAY: We'll have to do a scene change first, though. That okay with you?
DOGGETT: Yeah.
JANEWAY: Okay, hang on . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: The Lone Gunmen's car. The car is just pulling up into the parking lot of the golf
course. BYERS is still behind the wheel, while LANGLY and FROHIKE continue to play "Twenty
Questions":)
LANGLY: Is it an animal?
FROHIKE: No.
LANGLY: Is it a person?
FROHIKE: No.
LANGLY: Is it an extraterrestrial?
FROHIKE: Not quite.
LANGLY: Is it an alien-human hybrid?
FROHIKE: Yes.
LANGLY: Is it Cassandra Spender?
FROHIKE: Darn!!
LANGLY: Yeeees!!! I won!! I won!!!
BYERS: Hey, guys, we're here!!
LANGLY & FROHIKE: Yay!!
LANGLY: I wanna buy some stuff at the pro shop!!
FROHIKE: I wanna get a huge sandwich at the restaurant!!
BYERS: Settle down, guys!! We're only here to play golf.
FROHIKE: Awwww, man . . .
BYERS: With Scully, Doggett, and Skinner.
LANGLY: Agent Doggett's cool . . .
FROHIKE: Yes!! All right!! Scully's gonna be there!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: Near where MULDER and SCULLY are playing golf. We see JANEWAY and
DOGGETT hiding behind some trees. DOGGETT gives a silent count to three, and they both rush out
from behind the trees, startling MULDER and SCULLY:)
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester, pester, pester!!
SCULLY: Eeeeeeeeek!!
MULDER: They're pestering us!!
SCULLY (stumbling over a tree root): Mulder!!
MULDER: Scully!! Give me your hand!!
SCULLY (dramatically): No, Mulder!! It's too late for me!! They're going to pester me to
death!! Save yourself, Mulder!!
MULDER: No, Scully!! I won't leave you behind like that!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
SCULLY: You're a great agent, Mulder!! Don't do this to yourself!!
MULDER: I can't leave you behind, Scully!! Hang on!!
(MULDER rushes to SCULLY and grabs her arm. He yanks her up to her feet, and they run
away, with DOGGETT and JANEWAY at their heels:)
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: KRYCEK & MARITA's car, which is pulled over on the side of the freeway.
MARITA is getting very traumatized by this whole ordeal:)
MARITA: Alex!! We're out of gas on the side of a freeway in the middle of nowhere!! We're
going to die!!
KRYCEK (rolling his eyes): We're not going to die, Marita . . . just hang on. I'll call somebody
from the Call Box. It's just a little ways away . . .
MARITA (ignoring him): We're going to die!!
KRYCEK: Marita, don't worry . . . I'll take care of you.
MARITA: Oh my gosh, really, Alex!! Oh, you're so sweet!!
******************************************************************************
(Setting: At the first tee. LANGLY, FROHIKE, and DOGGETT are all hanging around,
looking very lost:)
LANGLY: Where is everybody?
FROHIKE: They wouldn't have started without us, would they?
BYERS: No . . . It's so uncharacteristic of them to do something like that . . .
LANGLY: Yo, Byers, news flash: This is a fic written by Capt. Janeway. She can make you
hula-hoop while eating lemon meringue pie and singing "When You Wish Upon A Star" if she wants to.
BYERS: True . . .
******************************************************************************
(Setting: Back with MULDER, SCULLY, DOGGETT, and JANEWAY, all still running:)
DOGGETT: Pester!! Pester!! Pester!!
JANEWAY: Pester, pester, pester!!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
SCULLY: Mulder!!
MULDER: Scully!!
SCULLY: Is this stupid fanfic almost overwith?!
MULDER: I don't know!! Ask Capt. Janeway!! She's the author!!
SCULLY: Hey, Capt. Janeway!!
JANEWAY: What?! Pester, pester!!
SCULLY: Is this stupid fanfic almost overwith?!
JANEWAY: Sure!! Why not?! Pester, pester!!
DOGGETT: Pester!!
THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEEND
Thank you for reading my fic!! Please let me know what you think by reviewing it for me!! Thanx! :)