I don't own Gundam Wing. Bet you didn't see that one coming.
Same warnings from part one apply. If you don't know what those are, then you probably haven't read part one yet, and I strongly recommend you do so.
a quick legend for everyone:
"..."-talking
~...~-thinking
{{...}}-telepathic communication
Hope that doesn't confuse you too much ^_^ And just because telepathic communication is in the legend, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be used. This is just my cut 'n' paste legend I use for most serious fics o mine.
Thanks to Himitru, Naie, TrainerRachel, jonnyboy, and Ryo0oki for reviewing part 1, thereby making sure this chapter didn't go something along the lines of : "Then the world ended. The End.". Also, this part came out a little later than I ment it to, sorry!
Now on to part zwei, hope you enjoy!
++++++++++
The Pain of Life or the Quiet of Death
(Part Two - Restoration)
by Shinigamis"Wow, you found blood in my caffinestream?"Angel
Chapter 1
Quatre had confessed his renewed apprehension about Heero's well being to Trowa. So for Quatre's sake, Trowa had begun searching for clues to his whereabouts.
And to his surprize, he did find a lead.
During a interrogation, a prisoner mentioned someone whose description could have matched Heero's. It was quite vauge, and normally Trowa wouldn't have paid any attention to it, but how the prisoner had described how the person had glared at him -did- catch Trowa's attention. To be sure, he made a photo lineup, and had the prisoner pick the induvidual out. Sure enough, it was Heero.
Trowa questioned the prisoner. He'd been quite cooperative, since he was shooting for a lighter sentence. What he was told didn't comfort Trowa any.
Why would Heero be acting as a guard to a terrorist leader? You could be generous, and say he was planning to assassinate him, but that didn't seem to fit.
The prisoner told him that Heero had been using the name Travis Fisher at the time. Lucky for Trowa, the terrorist group had kept records that their organization had gotten hold of. Sure enough, there was a Travis Fisher on the payroll. He turned up shortly after Heero had first left and disappeared 3 weeks before the UAF had stormed their HQ.
So, if he was going to kill the leader, why hadn't he before he'd left the group? As the leader's personnal guard, he would have had a countless number of opppertunities. If he was going to kill him after he left the group, why wait so long? Hell, Heero hadn't even given them any clue the group existed. The UAF only found out after a bombing on a civilian bus. This was during a time that Heero was supposedly a part of the group. In his position, wouldn't he have known about it? Why didn't he do anything to stop it or warn someone? All of this certainly made Heero's charater questionable.
He wasn't sure if he should tell Quatre. Wufei had said "Until Yuy explains himself, I will not trust him. If he crosses me, I will not hesitate.", when he found out about Heero's suspicious activities.
Trowa continued to think quietly in the den to the right of the bedroom Quatre and he shared, all the papers relating to Heero spread over the desk. It was as if he believed if he stared at them long enough they'd change. He didn't want to believe that his friend could change so much. Then he heard Quatre's cry from next door. Trowa bolted for the bedroom, knocking over his chair, and threw open the door.
Quatre was sitting straight up in bed, shaking, his hands clenched and over his heart. Trowa ran over to him, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and Quatre looked up at him, wide eyd.
"The same feeling as when Heero self-destructed." Quatre managed to say. Trowa wrapped his arms around his love and held him for a bit. When Quatre calmed down, Trowa looked into his angel's eyes, and knew he couldn't keep anything from him.
"About Heero..." Trowa began.
Chapter 2
"What were you expecting... an angel of mercy?"
That face, that voice. It brought back all the painful memories Heero had been pushing away along with his feelings...
***
Duo and he'd gone into the compund a day early to scout it out. They didn't want to risk releasing the virus. Heero remembered slipping through the corridors, Duo at his side. But one minute Duo was there, and when Heero had turned a corner, he wasn't. Heero hadn't even bothered to look for him. The mission was more important than the both of them, right?
Heero was in outer area of the enemy base. Finally, after hours of dodging guards and cameras, he came upon what he'd been looking for, security. He used his falsified keycard, and opened the door, heading into the room which had a wall of monitors on one side, displaying what the security camera saw. He'd just shot the guard when one of the monitors caught his eye. It was Duo, badly beaten and strapped down to a table.
Heero's gut went cold, and he honestly couldn't have told you why at the time. He went to the computer and punched up the sound for that room. Looking back at the monitor, he saw a guy in surgical garb standing over Duo with a scapel.
"It's not too late for an anesthetic, you know. All you have to do is tell us what we want." Heero heard someone say. Duo didn't say a word, a testament to how hurt he must be. Duo always taunted his enemies when he was able to. Then the same voice added, "Then you leave me no choice, rat."
Then came the scream. Duo cried out in pure agony as Heero watched the man with the scalpel cut into mercilessly into him. It was a scream that would haunt Heero's nightmares for the rest of his life. But the scream shook Heero into action. He turned to the computer, letting the mission take second place to finding out where Duo was. Heero continued to listen to Duo's screams as he worked, each one hurting him more than any bullet wound ever could. Although that was a fact he would admit to no one.
Duo was held in the higher security areas in the heart of the complex. Heero's fake ID wouldn't get him that far. The titanium walls between Heero and there were too thick for any explosives that Heero carried on him or that were being kept anywhere Heero could get to to blast through. To change his current keycard to a security level clearance that would get Heero inside the inner walls could, literally, take days. Heero had never felt so helpless in his life. He tapped into their communications systems, finally turning the sound off, and contacted HQ. Trowa's face appeared on the vid screen.
"Heero, what's wrong? Why aren't you maintaining radio silence?" Trowa asked in a very neutral tone.
"Duo was captured, they're trying to break him, and I can't get to him." Almost as an afterthought, Heero pulled up maps of the place and sent them along the line to Trowa, "There are the maps, the room where the virus is kept is highlighted, so is security, where I am. Get here as soon as you can. Duo will need medical attention." Then Heero cut off the transmission. He turned the sounds back on and watched, contemplating how he would kill the people hurting Duo, trying to memorize any of their facial features and distinctions he could make out in the picture so he could pick them out.
He didn't know long he stayed that way. He wondered if those people down there knew that they were torturing two people at the same time with their actions. Oh, they would pay. Some would die quickly, but most would die so very slowly. Heero kept trying to study -them-... he tried to block out Duo's weakening cries of pain, but it didn't work very well. Finally, Duo's tormenters started to remove the surgical masks and caps that hid their faces from Heero as they left Duo whimpering. He saw the man with short black hair and brown eyes, they green eyed man that stood taller than the first, with dirty blonde hair, the red hairded woman with the limp and blue eyes, and the others. Heero bruned their faces into his memory.
Then Heero heard noises outside the door. He got his gun ready, in case it was another security guard here for his shift. He lowered it as Trowa and Wufei came in.
Heero couldn't recall exactly what Wufei and Trowa said. They blabbed about the mission, and Heero paid just enough attention to get the important details from it. Trowa and Wufei then noticed the monitor that held Duo's bound and abused body, and each paled to some degree. They agreed that someone would get to Duo, while the others secured the virus, and then troops from the outside would march in and take over the base. Then it'd be safe for EM crews to come in.
Trowa had noticed the murderous look in Heero's eyes when he'd first talked to Heero over the vid screen. Quatre had told him that he thought that there was something between Heero and Duo, and after that Trowa had noticed it too. So he choose Heero to go after Duo, knowing that Heero was going to go after Duo no matter what he told Heero to do. Heero didn't say a word, but once they blew open the doors that had kept him from rescuing Duo, he took of running faster than Trowa had thusfar seen Heero move.
Heero didn't met a single soul as he made his way to where Duo was held. They had all ran when they had figured out their sanctuary had been breeched. So, Heero made it to his destination without incident.
When he opened the door, the sight made him pause, which was saying alot for him. The security camera's image was nothing like the real thing. Duo's body was horribly bruised, and he lay in a pool of his own blood. The incisions Heero had seen them make were held together with surgical staples. There were other cuts that had not been closed, and there were deep rips in his skin where the restraints were, from his struggling. There were tubes and IVs stuck in him, along with things taped to his skin. As Heero walked up to him, he noticed how Duo's fingers were bent in unnatural ways, and the beads of sweat on his face, which was still twisted up in an expression of pain. His breathing was shallow. "Duo..?" Heero finally managed to force himself to say something as he looked down at Duo's battered face.
"...Heero..?" came Duo's barely audible voice, with just a note of hope to it. His eyelids flickered as he struggled to open them.
"I'm going to get the restraints off you." Heero said, turning to a computer, to hack the locking mechanisims on the locks. He continued while he worked, "Try to keep conscious, medical help will be arriving shortly." he finished coldly, hiding his anxiety completely from Duo. He sounded like his old detached self. The perfect soldier wasn't supposed to be battling with his emotions... although, he had to admit, he had been since he'd seen that monitor.
"... they.. gave me.... somethin' ta.. keep me conscious but.. it's getting.. hard..." Duo managed to get out. Then the restraints clicked apart, and slid back into the table, and Duo let out a soft sigh, relieved that he was no longer confined. "... Heero..?"
"Yes?" Heero answered, returning to Duo's side.
"... this may.. sound stupid, but... could you.. hold .. my... hand? ... I can't see you... too good"
"But, Duo, your fingers.." Heero said, looking down at Duo's injured hands.
"... are broken.. yea.. I know -that-.... but ... please..?" Duo's eyes looked in Heero's direction, but didn't seem to be able to quite focus on him. Hesitating at first, Heero gently took Duo's hand in his own. He saw Duo wince, but then he smiled, "Thanks". They stayed that way for awhile. Heero could see Duo battling against unconsciousness. His eyelids would start to fall before he'd realize what was happening, and then jerk back open again. Heero began to feel Duo's body begin to tremble, and he became alarmed, but he stayed his same emotionless self on the outside. Soon, he heard Duo's questioning voice again.
"Heero..?"
"Yes."
"I want.. to tell you.. somethin'..."
"I'm listening"
Duo paused, as if unsure that he should continue, then he just let it out, "I love you."
"Why are you telling me now?" Heero said more harsly than he'd intended, while inwardly he told himself over and over ~It's the fever talking.. it's the fever talking.. ~
Duo had been expecting that kind of answer, and since Heero hadn't come out and said he didn't share Duo's feelings, he wasn't heartbroken. "In... case.. I don't.. get... 'nother... chance"
"Death can't die." Heero stated. He said it so firmly, it made Duo smile.
"You.. obviously... aren't... familiar... with the Necro...nomicon.... 'that which is... not dead.. can eternal lie... and with strange.. eons... even death... may ... die...'" he quoted.
They sat in silence again, for how long Heero wasn't sure. He felt Duo begin to shake worse than before. Duo's breath quickened, and he looked straight above him, and Heero saw him mouth his name, and gasp. Then Duo's breath left him, and his head rolled to the side where Heero was sitting, lifeless eyes meeting Heero's. It was then Heero felt whatever it was that passed for his heart shatter. Finally, he let his mask fall away. He cried out Duo's name, and immediatlly jumped up onto the table, sitting astride Duo's body, and began to try to resuscitate him.
He remembered hearing explosions outside the room. Then Trowa and Wufei coming in, watching in horror. Then, at last, the EM crew. They had to pull him off Duo, and then they had to sedate him to keep him from trying to reach Duo again. They pronounced him dead at 5:05 AM that day. All Heero could think while he had tried in vain to restore life to Duo's body was ~He's dead. He won't come back. He told me he loved me. And I asked him why! Now he's dead, and he'll never hear me say it!! I'm sorry, Duo, I didn't know! Damn you, wake up, so I can tell you! LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!~
***
Heero hadn't cried then. He'd just shut everything off. Duo had been able to reach out to him, and he, along with the others, had been trying to teach Heero how to deal with emotion again. But Duo was dead, and so he'd returned to that unfeeling state, knowing no one else could ever reach his heart again. Although people could reawaken his hate. Those people had proved that much. But now, here was Duo. Sure, he had bat-ish wings now, but you knew by looking into his eyes it was him. He just had that spark that was so uniquely Duo.
Heero was suddenly overcome with a wave of self-hatred and shame. He'd killed innocents, uncaring. He'd worked with terrorists planning to destroy the peace Duo and he had originally fought for. How could Duo have ever loved somone like him? How could Duo ever forgive him? Here, he'd been given another chance to tell Duo, and he'd gone and fucked everything up! He longed to just break down right there. He felt his eyes sting, as other pent up emotions came flooding out. He looked away, not wanting to make himself even more detestible in Duo's eyes by crying about it, especially when he didn't even cry when Duo had died.
Heero felt Duo's arms wrap around him. He heard Duo's soft, comforting voice, "Heero, let it out. You need to. There's no one else here but me." Still, Heero refused, and Duo spoke again, sounding somewhat hurt, "Can't even cry in front of me? If you're worried about someone finding out, I'm dead, so who could I possibly tell?"
"No.. it's not that that.. " Heero said quietly, suddenly finding it hard to talk, his throat locking up. Then the tears came. Duo felt him shutter slightly in his grasp and he rubbed his back gentelly, making soothing nosies. He hadn't expected Heero to go from nothing to bawling. Then, as Heero started to calm, Duo heard him mumble, "Duo, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Duo questioned softly as he let Heero pull away from him somewhat.
"For everything. For letting you die, for all the things I did after you died... ". Heero was looking away from Duo, and reached out a hand and gentelly lifted his head up so they were looking eye to eye.
"Hold on a minute! Letting me die? Heero, there was nothing you could have done. You did more than enough. Because of you I didn't have to die alone. Now, what about these things you've done?" This time Heero pulled away from his hands completely, turning in the oppisite direction. Heero didn't want to say, he didn't want to have to see disgust in Duo's violet eyes, but he went ahead anyway. He desevered Duo's hatred. So he told Duo all about his betrayal of bascially everything they'd ever fought for. Then he waited to be condemned to the darkest regions of hell. He was dead, right? Isn't that what Duo had come to do?
"Heero, you're not God, you're going to make mistakes. You aren't used to dealing with your emotions, so you took it pretty bad. It's understandable! Look, Heero, you're still the person I love, and whatever you've done in the past isn't going to make me love you any less!" Then Duo teleported straight in front of Heero, and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some bit of comfort to the other boy. They stayed like that until Heero built up the courage to look up at Duo, still afraid of what he might see. All he found in Duo's eyes was love and compassion. Finally, he found himself able to say it,
"I love you, Duo."
Duo looked surprized at first, but shortly his joy became appearant, as he smiled with his eyes sparking with what could have been tears. Duo's arms encircled Heero's neck and Heero felt Duo's lips brush up against his own. They held the kiss for a long moment, and Duo pulled back a little, an whispered, "I've been waiting a long time to hear that, Hee-chan."
Heero raised an eyebrow "Hee-chan?"
Duo laughed, and grinned, "Yea, I've been secretly thinking of you as 'Hee-chan' in stead of 'Heero'. Just a pet name. Hope you don't mind."
"Hn." Heero's responce just made Duo laugh some more. Heero loved that laugh, just the way it sounded.. it was musical, almost.
"Now -that's- my Hee-chan!" Duo looked into Heero's eyes, and saw that amused little glint in his eyes. Then Heero's demenor became more serious, without him even moving a single muscle. "Duo... am I dead?"
Duo sighed, and recluctantly breaking their embrace, "Not quite... it's a little complicated...." He saw Heero's questioning look, and continued without being prompted too.
"Heero, I was sent to give you a choice, sicne I am an acting messanger of Death. Your life is hanging in the balance. They misjudged how much they were hurting you, and your heart stopped. They're trying to revive you now, and without intervention, you will die. The choice between life or death is yours, Heero. But before you choose, let me tell you the facts....
"If you choose death, you come with me, and we both go on to the afterlife... we get to rest at last. But, if you die, I can guarantee that Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Relena, and a whole lot of other people will be joining us very shortly. And their deaths will not be pleasant ones. Westlin will succeed, and the virus will be unleashed." Duo decided too spare Heero most of the details. Westlin's bomb would spread the virus far wider than he originally intended, and all of Asia, Europe, and Africa would suffer it's affects.
"If you live, I can't promise anything but the return of your pain. But, you get the chance to prevent the virus from being released, and a chance for revenge. If you succeed, you'd have to wait for death to come naturally before we could move on. Otherwise, we'll be seperated, and it may be eons before our souls ever reunite. Do you understand?"
Heero nodded solemnly. There really was no choice at all. He had to try, he had to undo the damage he'd done. No matter the cost. Duo and he would be together, but they would both have to wait. As much as he hated having to lose him again, he could continue knowing that Duo was out there. Duo spread his wings, and held out his right hand, a shadow of a scythe appearing over it. Then the shadow started to soldify in front of Duo's hand and he grasped the onyx handled scythe. He choked up on it, so that he held it a few inches below the silver blade. He held out his free hand and the dull side of the scythe's shining blade. Heero looked at the hand and the scythe, and back up to Duo's face. He found his expression completely serious, something that one rarely saw.
"Then, take my hand if you choose life, or touch the scythe, if death is your choice." Heero did not hesitate in taking Duo's hand. Duo suddenly pulled Heero in toward him, and hugged him firecely. Heero, somewhat uncertainly, returned the hug, and he heard Duo whisper into his ear "I'm sorry, but I have to take you back now." Then Duo let him go, although he continued to hold onto one of Heero's hands. Heero saw the tears in his eyes.
"It's alright. I'm ready." Heero told him confidently, although he wasn't sure if he was ready to be returned to his tormented body, to return to the world where Duo was dead. Duo managed a shakey smile, "Then I'll be seeing you... sooner or later." Then Duo faded away as the greyness around him brightened until he was surrounded by white.
~Best of luck....~ came Duo's soft mental voice.
Chapter 3
The first thing Heero felt was pain. He forced his eyes open, and found the room empty. He was in a bed, not on the cold metal table. The metal restraints had been replaced by fabric ones, probably to keep him from hurting himself as badly on them, and there were only 4 of them, one for each arm and one for each leg. His wounds were bandaged. This was likely the best chance he was ever going to get, and knowing what he did, he was not going to let anything stop him now. He pulled relentlessly at one of the restraints. Pain exploded in his arm, as he reopened the cuts in his wrist from the old restraints, and aggrivated the burns on his arm from whatever they'd put on it. He would have screamed had his voice still worked. Finally, he heard the restraint snap and he blacked out momentarily from the pain. Then he managed to roll over on his side and he tried to undo the lash holding his other arm down, but his fingers were too swollen, so he leaned over and managed to untie with his teeth. With both hands we was able to pull the ones on his legs apart.
He tried to stand up as he got out of the bed, but his right leg gave out on him and he crashed to the floor. He felt along it, and found the reason. Had it only been a fracture, he might have been able to do something about it, but the bone had been shattered. So, he managed to drag himself over to the plugs of all the machines ment to monitor his condition and pulled them all out, so they wouldn't blair in alarm at him when he pulled everything they'd stuck in him out. Then he gasped for breath, his lungs burning terribly, in a way they never had before. Heero ignored it, and went blindly forward, crawling over to a wheeled chair near a computer and heaved himself onto it. A fit of coughing took him, and when he was able to breathe again, he noticed droplets of blood on the computer's monitor and keyboard. He paid it no mind as he worked at the computer's station, figuring out where he was, and how to get out. Sending a signal out for help would be impossible from here, so it appeared he'd have to escape himself.
Managing to get into the system that controlled the distribution of power, he set overloads in all critial systems, and other random places, so his path wouldn't be too obvious to anyone.
He scanned the room for things he could use as weapons. There was nothing, not even one scalpel. So, pushing the chair to the door despite how much it hurt his badly injured arms, he prepared to try to make it out. Using the roller chair to move himself would allow him to proceed faster, since his right leg was useless. He heard the explosions begin as he pushed himself into the hall. There was an explosion near him, and a terminally wounded guard stumbled across his path. The guard reached for his weapon, but Heero fell on him, and tried to wrench the gun from his grip. The guard grabbed Heero's bandaged right arm, and dug his fingers straight into his wound on the forearm. Heero couldn't cry out, but he crumpled and fell, the guard pressing the gun to Heero's temple. Before he could pull the trigger, the guard looked up at -something- , then his eyes rolled back up into his head and he fell to the side. Heero wondered if he was getting a little otherworldly help, but immediatly brought his attention back to his escape.
Heero grabbed the dead guard's gun, but with his right arm throbbing in pain with renewed vigor, he couldn't drag himself back into the chair. After struggling to drag himself and a the dead guard into the nearest room, Heero slowly, as to not aggravate the wounds on his abused body, changed into the guard's uniform. His progress was slowed further as he lapsed into fits of coughing that got worse as time went by. Once dressed, he started to once again to inch his way toward freedom, gun still in hand.
There was still chaos in the hallways, everyone trying to evacuate so they could figure out what went wrong, all afraid the whole facility would blow sky high. When he heard footsteps, he played dead. The people ignored him, far too concerned with their own saftey to worry about some lowly guard. His body began to shake with exhaustion, and he found it hard to keep his eyes open, much less keep up his agonizingly slow pace. But he had to get out to the others, and tell them everything he knew about Westlin's plans. He moved by the power of his will alone. Finally, he found the sewer access he was looking for. Hopefully, there wouldn't be anyone to drag him back to this hell down there. He'd rather die in the sewer.
There was a ladder that went down to a sidewalk. Heero didn't think he could use the ladder in the state he was in. It was about a 10 ft drop, and he didn't think that would kill him. So, he let himself fall.
Heero again tried to cry out in anguish as he fell onto his right side, but only managed to irritate his aching throat further, which caused him to cough uncontrollably, tiny blood droplets slattering everywhere. He managed a soft moan, as he took a long moment to recollect himself, and get used to the stench. He just had to get away. From the information on the computer, this sewer was underneth a part of a city on L2. So, all he had to do was get about 20 yards way from here, and he would be under the city. And in the sewer under the city was better than back at that table. Again he began to crawl. He only pasued when he was forced to cough. He lungs burned, his body ached and throbbed, but he kept going, until finally his body gave one great shutter, and he slipped away.
++++++++++The End++++++++++
Part 3 is up, so please go check it out. Feel free to review this part, though. In fact, I'd really appericiate it!
-ShinigamisAngel
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com
Same warnings from part one apply. If you don't know what those are, then you probably haven't read part one yet, and I strongly recommend you do so.
a quick legend for everyone:
"..."-talking
~...~-thinking
{{...}}-telepathic communication
Hope that doesn't confuse you too much ^_^ And just because telepathic communication is in the legend, doesn't necessarily mean it'll be used. This is just my cut 'n' paste legend I use for most serious fics o mine.
Thanks to Himitru, Naie, TrainerRachel, jonnyboy, and Ryo0oki for reviewing part 1, thereby making sure this chapter didn't go something along the lines of : "Then the world ended. The End.". Also, this part came out a little later than I ment it to, sorry!
Now on to part zwei, hope you enjoy!
++++++++++
The Pain of Life or the Quiet of Death
(Part Two - Restoration)
by Shinigamis"Wow, you found blood in my caffinestream?"Angel
Chapter 1
Quatre had confessed his renewed apprehension about Heero's well being to Trowa. So for Quatre's sake, Trowa had begun searching for clues to his whereabouts.
And to his surprize, he did find a lead.
During a interrogation, a prisoner mentioned someone whose description could have matched Heero's. It was quite vauge, and normally Trowa wouldn't have paid any attention to it, but how the prisoner had described how the person had glared at him -did- catch Trowa's attention. To be sure, he made a photo lineup, and had the prisoner pick the induvidual out. Sure enough, it was Heero.
Trowa questioned the prisoner. He'd been quite cooperative, since he was shooting for a lighter sentence. What he was told didn't comfort Trowa any.
Why would Heero be acting as a guard to a terrorist leader? You could be generous, and say he was planning to assassinate him, but that didn't seem to fit.
The prisoner told him that Heero had been using the name Travis Fisher at the time. Lucky for Trowa, the terrorist group had kept records that their organization had gotten hold of. Sure enough, there was a Travis Fisher on the payroll. He turned up shortly after Heero had first left and disappeared 3 weeks before the UAF had stormed their HQ.
So, if he was going to kill the leader, why hadn't he before he'd left the group? As the leader's personnal guard, he would have had a countless number of opppertunities. If he was going to kill him after he left the group, why wait so long? Hell, Heero hadn't even given them any clue the group existed. The UAF only found out after a bombing on a civilian bus. This was during a time that Heero was supposedly a part of the group. In his position, wouldn't he have known about it? Why didn't he do anything to stop it or warn someone? All of this certainly made Heero's charater questionable.
He wasn't sure if he should tell Quatre. Wufei had said "Until Yuy explains himself, I will not trust him. If he crosses me, I will not hesitate.", when he found out about Heero's suspicious activities.
Trowa continued to think quietly in the den to the right of the bedroom Quatre and he shared, all the papers relating to Heero spread over the desk. It was as if he believed if he stared at them long enough they'd change. He didn't want to believe that his friend could change so much. Then he heard Quatre's cry from next door. Trowa bolted for the bedroom, knocking over his chair, and threw open the door.
Quatre was sitting straight up in bed, shaking, his hands clenched and over his heart. Trowa ran over to him, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and Quatre looked up at him, wide eyd.
"The same feeling as when Heero self-destructed." Quatre managed to say. Trowa wrapped his arms around his love and held him for a bit. When Quatre calmed down, Trowa looked into his angel's eyes, and knew he couldn't keep anything from him.
"About Heero..." Trowa began.
Chapter 2
"What were you expecting... an angel of mercy?"
That face, that voice. It brought back all the painful memories Heero had been pushing away along with his feelings...
***
Duo and he'd gone into the compund a day early to scout it out. They didn't want to risk releasing the virus. Heero remembered slipping through the corridors, Duo at his side. But one minute Duo was there, and when Heero had turned a corner, he wasn't. Heero hadn't even bothered to look for him. The mission was more important than the both of them, right?
Heero was in outer area of the enemy base. Finally, after hours of dodging guards and cameras, he came upon what he'd been looking for, security. He used his falsified keycard, and opened the door, heading into the room which had a wall of monitors on one side, displaying what the security camera saw. He'd just shot the guard when one of the monitors caught his eye. It was Duo, badly beaten and strapped down to a table.
Heero's gut went cold, and he honestly couldn't have told you why at the time. He went to the computer and punched up the sound for that room. Looking back at the monitor, he saw a guy in surgical garb standing over Duo with a scapel.
"It's not too late for an anesthetic, you know. All you have to do is tell us what we want." Heero heard someone say. Duo didn't say a word, a testament to how hurt he must be. Duo always taunted his enemies when he was able to. Then the same voice added, "Then you leave me no choice, rat."
Then came the scream. Duo cried out in pure agony as Heero watched the man with the scalpel cut into mercilessly into him. It was a scream that would haunt Heero's nightmares for the rest of his life. But the scream shook Heero into action. He turned to the computer, letting the mission take second place to finding out where Duo was. Heero continued to listen to Duo's screams as he worked, each one hurting him more than any bullet wound ever could. Although that was a fact he would admit to no one.
Duo was held in the higher security areas in the heart of the complex. Heero's fake ID wouldn't get him that far. The titanium walls between Heero and there were too thick for any explosives that Heero carried on him or that were being kept anywhere Heero could get to to blast through. To change his current keycard to a security level clearance that would get Heero inside the inner walls could, literally, take days. Heero had never felt so helpless in his life. He tapped into their communications systems, finally turning the sound off, and contacted HQ. Trowa's face appeared on the vid screen.
"Heero, what's wrong? Why aren't you maintaining radio silence?" Trowa asked in a very neutral tone.
"Duo was captured, they're trying to break him, and I can't get to him." Almost as an afterthought, Heero pulled up maps of the place and sent them along the line to Trowa, "There are the maps, the room where the virus is kept is highlighted, so is security, where I am. Get here as soon as you can. Duo will need medical attention." Then Heero cut off the transmission. He turned the sounds back on and watched, contemplating how he would kill the people hurting Duo, trying to memorize any of their facial features and distinctions he could make out in the picture so he could pick them out.
He didn't know long he stayed that way. He wondered if those people down there knew that they were torturing two people at the same time with their actions. Oh, they would pay. Some would die quickly, but most would die so very slowly. Heero kept trying to study -them-... he tried to block out Duo's weakening cries of pain, but it didn't work very well. Finally, Duo's tormenters started to remove the surgical masks and caps that hid their faces from Heero as they left Duo whimpering. He saw the man with short black hair and brown eyes, they green eyed man that stood taller than the first, with dirty blonde hair, the red hairded woman with the limp and blue eyes, and the others. Heero bruned their faces into his memory.
Then Heero heard noises outside the door. He got his gun ready, in case it was another security guard here for his shift. He lowered it as Trowa and Wufei came in.
Heero couldn't recall exactly what Wufei and Trowa said. They blabbed about the mission, and Heero paid just enough attention to get the important details from it. Trowa and Wufei then noticed the monitor that held Duo's bound and abused body, and each paled to some degree. They agreed that someone would get to Duo, while the others secured the virus, and then troops from the outside would march in and take over the base. Then it'd be safe for EM crews to come in.
Trowa had noticed the murderous look in Heero's eyes when he'd first talked to Heero over the vid screen. Quatre had told him that he thought that there was something between Heero and Duo, and after that Trowa had noticed it too. So he choose Heero to go after Duo, knowing that Heero was going to go after Duo no matter what he told Heero to do. Heero didn't say a word, but once they blew open the doors that had kept him from rescuing Duo, he took of running faster than Trowa had thusfar seen Heero move.
Heero didn't met a single soul as he made his way to where Duo was held. They had all ran when they had figured out their sanctuary had been breeched. So, Heero made it to his destination without incident.
When he opened the door, the sight made him pause, which was saying alot for him. The security camera's image was nothing like the real thing. Duo's body was horribly bruised, and he lay in a pool of his own blood. The incisions Heero had seen them make were held together with surgical staples. There were other cuts that had not been closed, and there were deep rips in his skin where the restraints were, from his struggling. There were tubes and IVs stuck in him, along with things taped to his skin. As Heero walked up to him, he noticed how Duo's fingers were bent in unnatural ways, and the beads of sweat on his face, which was still twisted up in an expression of pain. His breathing was shallow. "Duo..?" Heero finally managed to force himself to say something as he looked down at Duo's battered face.
"...Heero..?" came Duo's barely audible voice, with just a note of hope to it. His eyelids flickered as he struggled to open them.
"I'm going to get the restraints off you." Heero said, turning to a computer, to hack the locking mechanisims on the locks. He continued while he worked, "Try to keep conscious, medical help will be arriving shortly." he finished coldly, hiding his anxiety completely from Duo. He sounded like his old detached self. The perfect soldier wasn't supposed to be battling with his emotions... although, he had to admit, he had been since he'd seen that monitor.
"... they.. gave me.... somethin' ta.. keep me conscious but.. it's getting.. hard..." Duo managed to get out. Then the restraints clicked apart, and slid back into the table, and Duo let out a soft sigh, relieved that he was no longer confined. "... Heero..?"
"Yes?" Heero answered, returning to Duo's side.
"... this may.. sound stupid, but... could you.. hold .. my... hand? ... I can't see you... too good"
"But, Duo, your fingers.." Heero said, looking down at Duo's injured hands.
"... are broken.. yea.. I know -that-.... but ... please..?" Duo's eyes looked in Heero's direction, but didn't seem to be able to quite focus on him. Hesitating at first, Heero gently took Duo's hand in his own. He saw Duo wince, but then he smiled, "Thanks". They stayed that way for awhile. Heero could see Duo battling against unconsciousness. His eyelids would start to fall before he'd realize what was happening, and then jerk back open again. Heero began to feel Duo's body begin to tremble, and he became alarmed, but he stayed his same emotionless self on the outside. Soon, he heard Duo's questioning voice again.
"Heero..?"
"Yes."
"I want.. to tell you.. somethin'..."
"I'm listening"
Duo paused, as if unsure that he should continue, then he just let it out, "I love you."
"Why are you telling me now?" Heero said more harsly than he'd intended, while inwardly he told himself over and over ~It's the fever talking.. it's the fever talking.. ~
Duo had been expecting that kind of answer, and since Heero hadn't come out and said he didn't share Duo's feelings, he wasn't heartbroken. "In... case.. I don't.. get... 'nother... chance"
"Death can't die." Heero stated. He said it so firmly, it made Duo smile.
"You.. obviously... aren't... familiar... with the Necro...nomicon.... 'that which is... not dead.. can eternal lie... and with strange.. eons... even death... may ... die...'" he quoted.
They sat in silence again, for how long Heero wasn't sure. He felt Duo begin to shake worse than before. Duo's breath quickened, and he looked straight above him, and Heero saw him mouth his name, and gasp. Then Duo's breath left him, and his head rolled to the side where Heero was sitting, lifeless eyes meeting Heero's. It was then Heero felt whatever it was that passed for his heart shatter. Finally, he let his mask fall away. He cried out Duo's name, and immediatlly jumped up onto the table, sitting astride Duo's body, and began to try to resuscitate him.
He remembered hearing explosions outside the room. Then Trowa and Wufei coming in, watching in horror. Then, at last, the EM crew. They had to pull him off Duo, and then they had to sedate him to keep him from trying to reach Duo again. They pronounced him dead at 5:05 AM that day. All Heero could think while he had tried in vain to restore life to Duo's body was ~He's dead. He won't come back. He told me he loved me. And I asked him why! Now he's dead, and he'll never hear me say it!! I'm sorry, Duo, I didn't know! Damn you, wake up, so I can tell you! LIVE, DAMN YOU, LIVE!~
***
Heero hadn't cried then. He'd just shut everything off. Duo had been able to reach out to him, and he, along with the others, had been trying to teach Heero how to deal with emotion again. But Duo was dead, and so he'd returned to that unfeeling state, knowing no one else could ever reach his heart again. Although people could reawaken his hate. Those people had proved that much. But now, here was Duo. Sure, he had bat-ish wings now, but you knew by looking into his eyes it was him. He just had that spark that was so uniquely Duo.
Heero was suddenly overcome with a wave of self-hatred and shame. He'd killed innocents, uncaring. He'd worked with terrorists planning to destroy the peace Duo and he had originally fought for. How could Duo have ever loved somone like him? How could Duo ever forgive him? Here, he'd been given another chance to tell Duo, and he'd gone and fucked everything up! He longed to just break down right there. He felt his eyes sting, as other pent up emotions came flooding out. He looked away, not wanting to make himself even more detestible in Duo's eyes by crying about it, especially when he didn't even cry when Duo had died.
Heero felt Duo's arms wrap around him. He heard Duo's soft, comforting voice, "Heero, let it out. You need to. There's no one else here but me." Still, Heero refused, and Duo spoke again, sounding somewhat hurt, "Can't even cry in front of me? If you're worried about someone finding out, I'm dead, so who could I possibly tell?"
"No.. it's not that that.. " Heero said quietly, suddenly finding it hard to talk, his throat locking up. Then the tears came. Duo felt him shutter slightly in his grasp and he rubbed his back gentelly, making soothing nosies. He hadn't expected Heero to go from nothing to bawling. Then, as Heero started to calm, Duo heard him mumble, "Duo, I'm sorry."
"For what?" Duo questioned softly as he let Heero pull away from him somewhat.
"For everything. For letting you die, for all the things I did after you died... ". Heero was looking away from Duo, and reached out a hand and gentelly lifted his head up so they were looking eye to eye.
"Hold on a minute! Letting me die? Heero, there was nothing you could have done. You did more than enough. Because of you I didn't have to die alone. Now, what about these things you've done?" This time Heero pulled away from his hands completely, turning in the oppisite direction. Heero didn't want to say, he didn't want to have to see disgust in Duo's violet eyes, but he went ahead anyway. He desevered Duo's hatred. So he told Duo all about his betrayal of bascially everything they'd ever fought for. Then he waited to be condemned to the darkest regions of hell. He was dead, right? Isn't that what Duo had come to do?
"Heero, you're not God, you're going to make mistakes. You aren't used to dealing with your emotions, so you took it pretty bad. It's understandable! Look, Heero, you're still the person I love, and whatever you've done in the past isn't going to make me love you any less!" Then Duo teleported straight in front of Heero, and put a hand on his shoulder, trying to offer some bit of comfort to the other boy. They stayed like that until Heero built up the courage to look up at Duo, still afraid of what he might see. All he found in Duo's eyes was love and compassion. Finally, he found himself able to say it,
"I love you, Duo."
Duo looked surprized at first, but shortly his joy became appearant, as he smiled with his eyes sparking with what could have been tears. Duo's arms encircled Heero's neck and Heero felt Duo's lips brush up against his own. They held the kiss for a long moment, and Duo pulled back a little, an whispered, "I've been waiting a long time to hear that, Hee-chan."
Heero raised an eyebrow "Hee-chan?"
Duo laughed, and grinned, "Yea, I've been secretly thinking of you as 'Hee-chan' in stead of 'Heero'. Just a pet name. Hope you don't mind."
"Hn." Heero's responce just made Duo laugh some more. Heero loved that laugh, just the way it sounded.. it was musical, almost.
"Now -that's- my Hee-chan!" Duo looked into Heero's eyes, and saw that amused little glint in his eyes. Then Heero's demenor became more serious, without him even moving a single muscle. "Duo... am I dead?"
Duo sighed, and recluctantly breaking their embrace, "Not quite... it's a little complicated...." He saw Heero's questioning look, and continued without being prompted too.
"Heero, I was sent to give you a choice, sicne I am an acting messanger of Death. Your life is hanging in the balance. They misjudged how much they were hurting you, and your heart stopped. They're trying to revive you now, and without intervention, you will die. The choice between life or death is yours, Heero. But before you choose, let me tell you the facts....
"If you choose death, you come with me, and we both go on to the afterlife... we get to rest at last. But, if you die, I can guarantee that Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, Relena, and a whole lot of other people will be joining us very shortly. And their deaths will not be pleasant ones. Westlin will succeed, and the virus will be unleashed." Duo decided too spare Heero most of the details. Westlin's bomb would spread the virus far wider than he originally intended, and all of Asia, Europe, and Africa would suffer it's affects.
"If you live, I can't promise anything but the return of your pain. But, you get the chance to prevent the virus from being released, and a chance for revenge. If you succeed, you'd have to wait for death to come naturally before we could move on. Otherwise, we'll be seperated, and it may be eons before our souls ever reunite. Do you understand?"
Heero nodded solemnly. There really was no choice at all. He had to try, he had to undo the damage he'd done. No matter the cost. Duo and he would be together, but they would both have to wait. As much as he hated having to lose him again, he could continue knowing that Duo was out there. Duo spread his wings, and held out his right hand, a shadow of a scythe appearing over it. Then the shadow started to soldify in front of Duo's hand and he grasped the onyx handled scythe. He choked up on it, so that he held it a few inches below the silver blade. He held out his free hand and the dull side of the scythe's shining blade. Heero looked at the hand and the scythe, and back up to Duo's face. He found his expression completely serious, something that one rarely saw.
"Then, take my hand if you choose life, or touch the scythe, if death is your choice." Heero did not hesitate in taking Duo's hand. Duo suddenly pulled Heero in toward him, and hugged him firecely. Heero, somewhat uncertainly, returned the hug, and he heard Duo whisper into his ear "I'm sorry, but I have to take you back now." Then Duo let him go, although he continued to hold onto one of Heero's hands. Heero saw the tears in his eyes.
"It's alright. I'm ready." Heero told him confidently, although he wasn't sure if he was ready to be returned to his tormented body, to return to the world where Duo was dead. Duo managed a shakey smile, "Then I'll be seeing you... sooner or later." Then Duo faded away as the greyness around him brightened until he was surrounded by white.
~Best of luck....~ came Duo's soft mental voice.
Chapter 3
The first thing Heero felt was pain. He forced his eyes open, and found the room empty. He was in a bed, not on the cold metal table. The metal restraints had been replaced by fabric ones, probably to keep him from hurting himself as badly on them, and there were only 4 of them, one for each arm and one for each leg. His wounds were bandaged. This was likely the best chance he was ever going to get, and knowing what he did, he was not going to let anything stop him now. He pulled relentlessly at one of the restraints. Pain exploded in his arm, as he reopened the cuts in his wrist from the old restraints, and aggrivated the burns on his arm from whatever they'd put on it. He would have screamed had his voice still worked. Finally, he heard the restraint snap and he blacked out momentarily from the pain. Then he managed to roll over on his side and he tried to undo the lash holding his other arm down, but his fingers were too swollen, so he leaned over and managed to untie with his teeth. With both hands we was able to pull the ones on his legs apart.
He tried to stand up as he got out of the bed, but his right leg gave out on him and he crashed to the floor. He felt along it, and found the reason. Had it only been a fracture, he might have been able to do something about it, but the bone had been shattered. So, he managed to drag himself over to the plugs of all the machines ment to monitor his condition and pulled them all out, so they wouldn't blair in alarm at him when he pulled everything they'd stuck in him out. Then he gasped for breath, his lungs burning terribly, in a way they never had before. Heero ignored it, and went blindly forward, crawling over to a wheeled chair near a computer and heaved himself onto it. A fit of coughing took him, and when he was able to breathe again, he noticed droplets of blood on the computer's monitor and keyboard. He paid it no mind as he worked at the computer's station, figuring out where he was, and how to get out. Sending a signal out for help would be impossible from here, so it appeared he'd have to escape himself.
Managing to get into the system that controlled the distribution of power, he set overloads in all critial systems, and other random places, so his path wouldn't be too obvious to anyone.
He scanned the room for things he could use as weapons. There was nothing, not even one scalpel. So, pushing the chair to the door despite how much it hurt his badly injured arms, he prepared to try to make it out. Using the roller chair to move himself would allow him to proceed faster, since his right leg was useless. He heard the explosions begin as he pushed himself into the hall. There was an explosion near him, and a terminally wounded guard stumbled across his path. The guard reached for his weapon, but Heero fell on him, and tried to wrench the gun from his grip. The guard grabbed Heero's bandaged right arm, and dug his fingers straight into his wound on the forearm. Heero couldn't cry out, but he crumpled and fell, the guard pressing the gun to Heero's temple. Before he could pull the trigger, the guard looked up at -something- , then his eyes rolled back up into his head and he fell to the side. Heero wondered if he was getting a little otherworldly help, but immediatly brought his attention back to his escape.
Heero grabbed the dead guard's gun, but with his right arm throbbing in pain with renewed vigor, he couldn't drag himself back into the chair. After struggling to drag himself and a the dead guard into the nearest room, Heero slowly, as to not aggravate the wounds on his abused body, changed into the guard's uniform. His progress was slowed further as he lapsed into fits of coughing that got worse as time went by. Once dressed, he started to once again to inch his way toward freedom, gun still in hand.
There was still chaos in the hallways, everyone trying to evacuate so they could figure out what went wrong, all afraid the whole facility would blow sky high. When he heard footsteps, he played dead. The people ignored him, far too concerned with their own saftey to worry about some lowly guard. His body began to shake with exhaustion, and he found it hard to keep his eyes open, much less keep up his agonizingly slow pace. But he had to get out to the others, and tell them everything he knew about Westlin's plans. He moved by the power of his will alone. Finally, he found the sewer access he was looking for. Hopefully, there wouldn't be anyone to drag him back to this hell down there. He'd rather die in the sewer.
There was a ladder that went down to a sidewalk. Heero didn't think he could use the ladder in the state he was in. It was about a 10 ft drop, and he didn't think that would kill him. So, he let himself fall.
Heero again tried to cry out in anguish as he fell onto his right side, but only managed to irritate his aching throat further, which caused him to cough uncontrollably, tiny blood droplets slattering everywhere. He managed a soft moan, as he took a long moment to recollect himself, and get used to the stench. He just had to get away. From the information on the computer, this sewer was underneth a part of a city on L2. So, all he had to do was get about 20 yards way from here, and he would be under the city. And in the sewer under the city was better than back at that table. Again he began to crawl. He only pasued when he was forced to cough. He lungs burned, his body ached and throbbed, but he kept going, until finally his body gave one great shutter, and he slipped away.
++++++++++The End++++++++++
Part 3 is up, so please go check it out. Feel free to review this part, though. In fact, I'd really appericiate it!
-ShinigamisAngel
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com