The Nine Months Saga
Part 3.1: Magic?
The next day.......
Goku, Piccolo, and Krillan walked towards the casino with all of them wearing some Hawaiian shirts and sandals. It was a bit warm outside today as Goku chugged down some Pepsi and tossed the can in the trashcan.
A mother and her little girl walked pass them.
"Mommy LOOK, a weird guy with green skin," she said as pointed towards him.
"Oh Stacy, its probably just another showman in a costume."
"I don't know , mommy. That guy with the tail carrying the Dragonball Z video game machine looked pretty real to me."
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I'm more worried of them two. Just look at his hideous haircut and have you ever seen a man THAT short!?! My god. Come on, lets just go and mind our own business. I don't want you to get near those two FREAK shows."
"Hey Goku, why is that woman staring at us?" asked Krillan as he opened the door for them.
"Gee I don't know. Maybe its my legs?"
"Your legs!?!" replied Piccolo.
"Yeah, Freeza threw a fireball at me. Didn't hurt me much. Just singed all my hair off my legs. You should have seen how jealous ChiChi was when I showed her." Krillan looked down.
"Hmmm, I never noticed. Wow, they must be smooth as a baby's bottom. HEY, there's the building. Slots, here I come," he shouted as he ran towards the casino area.
"Goku, what's the matter?" asked Piccolo.
"Its just that, well.... I wanted to take Gohan to see the magician. You should have seen how heart broken he was when Chi Chi forbid him to co***"
"Hey guys, can you help me with these?" They all turned and saw Yamcha carrying two cases of "Samuel Adams", "Coors,... and a nice 12 pack of Hawaiian Punch for Goku. Vegeta stood on a table with his arms folded.
"HURRY UP YAMCHA!!! My child will be delivered before you get done unpacking!!" Yamcha merely sneered as he haled the liquors from one side to the other. Vegeta then turned to see the Hawaiian trio. "Ahhh Kakorot? So glad you can come. To think, your wife nearly didn't allow you to come to my little party. To think, myself, the Ginyu Force, and Freeza have attempted many times to break you. And the only one who was able to tame you was bitchy homemaker."
"Same to you, Vegeta." Vegeta's eyes widen a bit. He didn't expect that coming. Could Bulma be the only one who has actually.... no no. He was the great prince of Saiyans!! No one can tame him!! No one.......
"Hey Vegeta, phone call. Its Bulma!!" shouted one of the managers. Vegeta sighed to himself. He was hoping to have a day off from his mate.... that and to do a bit of drinking. When was the last time he had a nice bottle of Samuel Adams? Considering how long he's been dead on Namek and his attack on Earth.... eh... probably about a couple of years. With a front flip, Vegeta jumped off the table and snatched the phone.
"What is it?" he grumbled.
"I just wanted to say "I love you" that's all." Vegeta choked on his own breath. He shifted his eyes a bit.
"I love you too. *click*" he quickly murmured. He doubt she didn't even heard it. But he didn't particularly care. Tonight he's going to spend the last day on earth single.
Bulma placed the phone down. She couldn't understand his last words. She slumped in the chair as she continued to look through the book of names. ChiChi was sitting on the other side, cooking some rice for them to eat for lunch.
"Here, you need something a bit healthier then those Twinkies. So what did Romeo say?" asked ChiChi as she placed the bowl in front of her.
"I don't know. He kind of garbled it up. I want my child to have a loving father. A caring father. But Vegeta just has too much pride in himself to mess with his own creation. Bulma's eyes welled as she placed her hands on her face.
"There there, Bulma. I know Vegeta's being a total stump. But listen, maybe some shopping would do the trick. Besides, I need to go visit Goku. I need to give him that medicine in case the heart disease attacks him while he's at Vegeta's Bachelor's Party." Bulma, picked up a soft pink tissue and dried her eyes up. Bulma began to rise up in her chair....
"Gah!!!" she moaned as she clutched her stomach.
"BULMA!!!"
"I'm okay. The pain is going away now," she replied as Chi Chi helped her to her feet.
"Maybe you should see the doctor after your wedding?"
"Yeah, I should. I don't want the baby to be hurt or affected by this."
Back at Vegeta's Party.....
"Come on... come on.... lemon.... lemon......GAH!!! stupid orange," shouted Krillan as he kicked the machine.
"What is the matter my friend?" asked Piccolo as he approached the cueball. "These freggin' things are rigged. I have not won once at anything here," he pouted as he crossed his arms.
"Are you sure?" asked Piccolo as he pulled the handle. Three BARs appeared on the screen and money began to pour out.
"How....how did you do it?" asked Krillan.
"I was able to in tone my soul. Become one with the machine........ that and I changed the odds on the machine so we can't lose."
"SWEET!!!" replied Krillan as he became all giddy with joy, pulling on the lever and coins coming out.
Yamcha, Vegeta, and Goku all sat at a round table awaiting for the show to start. "Heh heh, we defiantly should've invited Master Roshi," laughed Yamcha as he took a sip of Samuel Adams.
"Yeah, too bad Ms. Majik had to cancel. That would've been a show," muttered Vegeta as he took another drink as well.
"What? There ain't gonna be a magician?"
"Nope. So I had to settle for the next best thing..."
"GET ME OUT OF HERE!!! I DON'T WANT TO SEE THE CLOWNS!!"
"You porchmonkey!! There ain't gonna be no clowns. If there was, I would've held this at a circus for a third of the price."
"Oh.....heh heh," blushed Goku as he turned a light pink at the tip of his cheeks. "So then who's coming?"
"You'll see," smirked Yamcha. Krillan and Piccolo came into the room holding bags of quarters."
"Wow, today must've been your day," spoke Goku as he helped him with his money.
"Sure was; hey Piccolo? Will you help me pick out some lottery numbers when we get home?"
"Sure, but I get a cut in the winnings. Hmmm, its starting...."
Piccolo and Krillan pulled up a seat next to the trio. Two spotlights shown on the stage as the curtain unfolded. Seven women wearing blue glittered outfits, with feathered hats appeared. Each one flashed a smile and placed their hands on each others shoulders.
"YEAH!!! CAN CAN!!!" shouted Krillan as the beautiful girls began to kick their smooth long tanned legs up in the air.
"Can Can?" muttered Piccolo as his face looked as if it was smashed by a brick. "I've always had a flair for it. Now shut up! Hmm, that's odd.... I could've sworn I hired eight Can Can dancers......"
Outside the building....
"Hmmm, 498 Barker Street. Yep this is the place," said Bulma as she pulled herself from out of the car. Chi Chi stretched her arms as she herself opened the door and hoped out.
A man stood at the front gates with his arms crossed.
"Excuse me, my husband is in there. Could you give him this medicine for me?" she asked.
"Sure thing, miss."Before she got a chance to hand over the vial... a loud pitched scream filled the air.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU,PERVERT!!!!!!!!" shouted a brisk woman as her little feathered hat bounced in the air. Master Roshi followed afterwards.
"WAIT!!!! I.... must..... touch them...." he piped as they disappeared over the hill. The two girls stared at each other.
"Hmmm, maybe I should give this to him personally."
Inside the building......
One of the girls broke from the group and leaped right towards the table.
"So whose the lucky man tonight?" she spoke in a breathy tone.
"Oh, its Vegeta," said Yamcha as he pointed towards him.
"Wanna Can Can?" she asked as she slipped a hand under his chin.
"NO WAY!!! I am NOT going to embarrass myself. Besides, I prefer to watch it, then be a part of it." The Can Can dancer sulked on the table and faced Goku.
"Hey sweetie. Would you like to dance with us?"
"But uh, I never Can Can'ed before.... is it fun?"
"We'll find out," she spoke as she pulled his collar over towards the stage.
Yamcha and Krillan began to whistle while Vegeta rolled his eyes and took another sip of alcohol. Goku placed his hands on the other girl's shoulders. Centered in between the group, the music began to roll. Goku found himself in unison with the girls, flipping his legs in the air.
"HEY, THIS IS KIND FUN!!! Great exercise for the calves too," smiled Goku.Vegeta placed his hand on his face and began to mutter to himself.
"Hey handsome, love your legs? What kind of razor do you use?" asked one of the girls.
"Oh, I didn't use a razor. Freeza did that."
"Hmmm, I might have to pick some up at Jenny's Beauty Salon," she mumbled as the doors flung open.
"GOKU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE DOING UP THERE WITH THOSE SLUTS!!!!"
"But Chi Chi, they aren't prostitutes. They're just Ca***...." Chi Chi slammed her fist in his face knocking Krillan cold. Chi Chi stamped over towards the stage.
"Oh hey Chi Chi, wanna join us? This is so much fun. And you did complain about that extra three pounds you gained last week?" smiled Goku with his arms STILL on the two girls shoulders.
"My god, her ki is raising. Do you think she'll turn Super Saiyan !?!" mumbled Yamcha as he took out a scanner. Chi Chi front flipped ontop of the stage, grabbed one of the girls by the headdress and chucked her to the other side. Another Can Can girl went down to grab a chair and tried to slam it on her.
"Oh no you don't!!" shouted Bulma as she karate chopped it to bits and flipped her over towards where the guys were sitting.
"WATCH YOUR AIMING,WOMAN!! YOU'RE GONNA SPILL MY 'Samuel Adams'!!" shouted Vegeta as he the dancer laid spawned on there.
Twenty minutes later.....
Narrator: Can Can dancers continued to be flung all through the air as Goku went over and sat with his friends. Pondering.... deep thoughts.....
"Gee, you think we should interfere and stop them?" asked Goku as he landed in a chair. They all turned toward Krillan.... minus two teeth and a broken nose.
"Ummm..... I think we should let them handle this."
"Yeah," "Goodpoint," they all mumbled while Vegeta leaned back on his chair.
"Bah, scared of a couple of earth women. Act the cowards you are all you want, but if I'm getting married, I might as well have a woman who looks halfway decent enough and worthy of marrying the Prince of all Saiyans!!" he said as he stared walking towards the two as they were beating the stuffing out of another Can Can dancer.
Vegeta looked over. Gently pushing aside the Can Can Dancer, grabbing Bulma's hand.... and then chucking Chi Chi towards the table at where the other guys sat.
"HEY, THIS ONE'S MINE!!!" shouted Goku.
"Exactly." With that, Vegeta flung Bulma on his shoulders and started walking out the door.
"Hey wait up," said Goku as he tossed Chi Chi on his shoulders and started to follow him.
The others stared with wide eyes.
"Well.... they are Saiyan after all," muttered Yamcha.
"Oooooooo my headz.... hey... why ams I talking funny?" asked Krillan.
"Ummm, say, wanna another Samuel Adams?"
"Surz."
Narrator: While the Saiyans take their.... mates home. An ominous silhouette watches them. Its long tail slithered and tensed as it watches the groups soar through the air. His lips curled into a smile.
"He heh heh, so those fools think they have really beaten me. For months I have been waiting for a chance.. at revenge. Now is the perfect time, to strike and place my sinister plans in action.....for I..... AM...... FREEZA........ Third cousin twice removed. MWHA HA HA HA HA.... eh... why am I saying my secret plans outloud?"
Narrator: Cause you're the villain of this saga since Freeza is stuck in hell. Meaning the people need to know in advance what you are going to do to them.
"Well then. This is a good time to strike. With the wedding going on, I Freeza's..... third cousin twice remove.... will obliterate all that monkey cares and loves MWHA HA HA HA HA!!!!"
"Hey excuse me? Are you like... Freeza?" asked a Can Can girl.
"eh... um.... I"m just his third cousin twice removed."
"Oh well, we were wondering.... could you like use your mystical powers to shave our legs."
Freeza's third cousin twice removed's eyes shot open.
"Well... umm... I...." he mumbled as he twiddled with his thumbs.
"Please........" she said as she tickled his chin.
"Oh.... very well."
From the next dimension......
"YOU IDIOT!!!!! What are you doing!!! You are not suppose to be shaving Can Can dancer's legs!?! You are suppose to be pending your revenge for my DEATH!!!"
Freeza's third cousin twice removed didn't reply as the girls giggled and tickled him. He dazely smiled as he lightly blasted the little stubs off.
Freeza started banging his head on a rock. He's gonna be stuck here, longer then he thought.
Part 3.2: I DO....
It was the night before the wedding as Bulma laid there in bed. Vegeta straighten up his rented tux so that he can have some extra sleeping time tomorrow. He stretched his arms and laid in bed next to her.
He turned his head towards her. Her blue eyes look like a never ending night while her soft hair seem to be spawned across the pillow. Her angelic face never looked so peaceful. Vegeta smiled a bit as he laid on his side. Suddenly, she began to stir. Her body leaned over him. She placed one hand over his chest.
"Vegeta...." she whispered.
"Yes?" he whispered back as she knelt forward and leaned her head against his broad chest.
"Could you go buy some Twinkies for me? I have this sudden craving for some."
"WHAT!?! WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET TWINKIES AT...."
His eyes shot forward at the clock. "....1:30 in the morning!?! "
"But I'm hungry."
"Go grab yourself an orange from the frige."
"I WANT TWINKIES!!! NOW GIVE THEM TO ME..... or else..."
she shouted as her eyes glowed a bright red and her neck twisted 360 degrees.Later.... on some city street......
"Where am I gonna find Twinkies at this time at night," said Vegeta as he strolled around in a robe and slippers. "Ahh, a gas station... surely they have some left," he murmured as he flew towards there. With a gentle push, the door's bell rang.
"Can I help you?" the store clerked asked as he straightened up his glasses. "Where are your Twinkies at!?!"
"I'm sorry sir. We've sold the last box to this blue haired woman this morning."
"WHAT!?!!!!"
"Why don't you try the next store. I'm sure they sell what you are seeking."
The next store....
"Forgive me, but we are all sold out of Twinkies. This blue haired woman......"
The next store after that......
"Well this blue haired woman....."
After that......
"She said she had this deep craving for Twinkies......"
Twelve stores later.....
It was five A.M... Vegeta's eyes were red from hoping from one store to the other. They lazily gazed over towards the baked section and noticed one last Twinkie was left.
"Finally!!!" he said as he picked up the delicate little cake. Vegeta walked towards the woman to pay for his purchase....
"ALL RIGHT!!! GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND VALUABLES.... NOW!!!" shouted a man dressed in black with a silk stalking on his head.
"AAAAAAAHHH," screamed a couple as they rolled to the floor and placed their hands on their head.
The clerk frantically fiddled with her keys, trying to get her cash register open. Vegeta just stood there and cocked an eyebrow.
"Wait a second. I need to pay for my Twinkie first!" said Vegeta as he began to dig into his pockets for a quarter.
"I SAID, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!" the robber screamed as he began to fire bullets at Vegeta. Vegeta didn't realize it as they bounced off while he handed the clerk the money. The robber kept shooting.....*click click*. He then stared down at it.
"Awww shit.... I'm outta of bullets," he panicked as he tossed his gun missing Vegeta and smashing the Twinkie.
Vegeta gasped as his hands began cringe. A smooth, steady growl began to fill the air..... his head turned. Suddenly.... his hair flashed a bright blond and eyes glowed green.
"How DARE you smash the last Twinkie. I've been up since 1:30 this morning trying to find the damn thing......"
and now a word from our sponsors....
A man in a gray suit sits at a desk. Executive: Hello friends. We here at FUNimation, the same people who have brought quality animation to your living rooms for years; have decided to have this scene cut out due to content. Why you ask? We here at FUNimation care deeply about family viewing. Do not worry. There is nothing here that would've effected the plot. Yes I'm sure some of you all would enjoy seeing Vegeta using his Big Flash and Final Bang moves.... but... simply cannot allow these moves to corrupt our younger viewers out there. Goodnight. And god bless.
and now back to the following fic....
Vegeta walked down the streets as he flicked off one of the robber's teeth off his shoulder.
He then notice a light coming from the Son's hotel room. Vegeta lazily flew up towards the window and noticed Goku, Tien, and Chowzu sitting around a "Chutes and Ladders" board game.
"HEY VEGETA, COME ON IN!!!" smiled Goku as he opened up the window. Vegeta growled. He then sighed to himself. He was too lazy to go around to his room. Might as well take a little rest here.
"Why are up so late, ,Mister Vegeta?" asked Chowzu as he tugged on his robe. "Bah, I've been looking for four hours straight and it seems that that blasted woman bought every damn Twinkie in this god damn city," muttered Vegeta.
"Oh, why didn't you say so?" asked Goku as he walked towards his cabinet and pulled a whole box full.
"Wha... wha....where did you get those!?!" asked Vegeta as sweat began to pour from his temple.
"Eh, I just bought them over down at the cafe here. Here, you can take them to Bulma. I'm sure'll really enjoy..... Vegeta? COOL!! HEY GUYS LOOK!! I THINK HE'S TURNING SUPER SAIJIAN!!! Hey guys, why are you running out the window. Its just Vegeta...."
The next morning....
"Hmmm, Goku's been asleep longer then usual. Its Saturday... he's usual up and watching Power Rangers about now," muttered Chi Chi as she slid out of her bed. She then walked over towards the living room to find Goku spawned face down with his clothes all ripped up and his hair messed up. "GOKU YOU BAKA!!! What have I told you. The living room is NOT to be used for training. *sniff sniff* my poor poor dear Gohan. All my life I want to see him grow up and succeed as great scholar. AND YOU'RE CREATING A BAD INFLUENCE ON HIM!!!"
"Awww Chi Chi, but I like sparing with Vegeta..... hey could you pop my dislocated shoulder so I can get up and change for the wedding?" pouted Goku as his body twitched a bit.
"Oh very well... but we're having a talk over your behavior. Hey, I thought Tien and Chowzu was staying over last night?"
"They said they had to water the plants back at the Western City. I wonder why they didn't wanna spar with me and Vegeta. I mean sure his power level became ten times stronger, but we could've taken him."
"Uh huh, I'll go tell Master Roshi to go get you a senzu bean so you can walk with those broken legs of yours...." All of a sudden, there was a loud pitched scream.
"My god, that's Gohan!!! DON'T WORRY!!! MOMMY DEAREST IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!" she cried as she raced up the stairs. Goku slowly floated up.
"Hey wait up... oh, there goes another tooth.... I'm coming too!!"
Chi Chi raced inside and flung open the door.
"WHAT IS IT,GOHAN!!! Did your learning tapes got ate up again?"
"Its not that mother. Look at this....." he said as he handed Chi Chi a paper.
"My GOD!!! If Vegeta and Bulma get married, according to the bets you made you will be negative $230. 23!!! NO!!! Maybe we can stop this. Maybe Bulma's water will break...."
"But she's too early in the pregnancy, mom!!"
"Eeeppp!! You're right. Well then, maybe we can use the dragonballs and..."
"Chi Chi.... come on. You can't be serious. I know its odd with Vegeta and Bulma getting married.... but we can't stand in the way of their happiness," spoke Goku in a somewhat intelligent manner.
"Yes, you're right. Com'n Gohan, you should be getting into your best.... Gohan? Gohan put that cyanide away,"
"But mom.... $230.23!!!!"
"Ohhh, I'll buy you an ice cream cone after the wedding,"
"Hot Damn!!"
"GOHAN!!! Don't use that sort of language!!"
"But Topaz989 cusses all the time and no one ever bothers with it."
"Well..... um.... GOHAN GET INTO YOUR CLOTHES!!! Or we're gonna be late!!!"
"What about me, Chi Chi?" asked Goku in a painful way.
"The senzu bean. Right."
"Hey Mom, I can go get i*"
"Oh no you won't, mister. You're grounded."
"YEAH!! I DON'T HAVE TO....."
"But you are going to Bulma and Vegeta's wedding. And since you are the youngest, you get to be the ring boy."
"But Mom!!!!!!!!!!!"
"No 'BUTs'.... now.... how the hell am I going to get to Master Roshi with him on the other side of Los Vegas?.....Hmm, I'll need to borrow that cloud. Gohan, after your done getting into your clothes, help your father. FLYING NIMBUS!!!" A yellow cloud streaked across the sky as Chi Chi jumped on it and flew off.
"Gee, I didn't know she can do that." said Goku stunned.
and now a commercial break from your future master of the universe.....
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priceless.....
For everything else...... there are dragonballs.
This commercial was brought to you by the friends and family of Freeza and by FUNimation, Quality Anime at its best.
and now back to The 9 Months Saga.....
Master Roshi groaned as he got up from his bed. Groggily, he reached out for his sunglasses. "That last lady really put a whollap." he muttered as he grinned in a perverted way.
"Master Roshi!" a voice yelled out from the window. Roshi put on his glasses and ran to the window to see Chi Chi standing there in her robe.
Master Roshi began to squint his eyes....
RUN DIAGNOSES CHECK.........
Chest size: 39B
Weight: Unknown
Age:35
Status: Married
Husband: Goku
Chances of getting ass kicked by husband: %12
Chances of getting ass kicked by Chi Chi: %110
Diagnoses: NOT APPLICABLE
"What's wrong, Chi Chi? Isn't that Goku's Flying Nimbus?" he said in a serious tone trying to look like he wasn't staring at her .... features.
"Oh, that idiot husband of mine and Vegeta went into another spar in the living room.... again....as usual he got his ass kicked because he didn't want to ruin the apolstry with a Kamehameha. I need a senzu bean now."
"Let me see." Roshi said as he went to his luggage and got out a small pouch. "Here it is. I got a few of these just in case something happens and for the hangovers the boys had." Chi Chi grabbed the pouch, took out the bean, hand the bag back to the man, and flew out.
"See you at the wedding!"
Vegeta growled as he put on his tux. "Damn that Kakorot and those Twinkie cravings." He muttered.
Bulma who was finished with her Twinkies yelled out, "Vegeta! Can you get ready without seeing me?"
"Why, woman?"
"It's tradition for the couple to not see each other before the wedding." Bulma stated, "Just stay there and yell out when you're done!"
"*grumble*bah, pitiful earthling rituals....very well."
"Great! Do you have the rings!"
"Yes!"
"The Elvis impersonator?"
"Of course!"
"The tux?"
"I'm putting it on right now!"
"Gohan's the ring bearer. Chi Chi is my maid of honor and Daddy's giving me away. Who's your best man?"
"............"
"You didn't get a best man yet?!"
"I had to plan things out in a hurry!" Vegeta yelled out.
"Okay, just ask one of the guys. Piccolo?"
"In hell..."
"Tien?"
"He's the flower arranger,"
"Yamcha?"
"Do YOU want him to be the best man?"
"You're right.... okay how about Goku."
"Not after I broke his legs."
"I'm sure he's forgiven you by n**...."
"No, I mean this morning."
"Oh. Well then just go outside and grab the nearest person."
"Fine fine," he replied as he walked down the street. "I'll just find the nearest baka.... someone.... ahhh perfect," he grinned. "HEY YOU!!!" he shouted.
"Me?"
"Yeah, I remember you. Say wanna be my best man?"
"I don't know," he said as he ran a hand in his lavender hair.
"Listen, all you have to do, is just stand there and look pretty. I am NOT going to have Kakorot be my best man so that leaves you. Here, I'll even throw in twenty dollars."
"Sure!!!"
"Excellent. But first, what is your name, and where did you came from?"
"I..... can't tell you...."
Vegeta scowled. "Then, make up a name. Any name will do."
The man looked up, "How about 'Goten'?"
"Fine, your name is Goten. Now go rent a tux and meet me at the 30 minute wedding Chapel. I wanted the 3 minute but the woman wanted something a bit more modest. What's not modest of being there for 3 minutes and receiving thirteen dollars worth of poker chips?"
"Exactly, you can do alot with thirteen dollars worth of poker chips."
"Kid, I'm beginning to like you," said Vegeta as he gave the man a pat on the back.
"Heh heh, yeah, I'm one of those types that you could love like a son."
Bulma rummage through her closet.
"This can't be happening," she mumbled to herself as she took another bite in her Twinkie.
"What can't be happening?" asked Mr.Popo as he and Kami flew from the magic carpet and into her bedroom.
"Mr. Popo, Kami? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, we figured we might drop by....... you are going to marry him are you?"
"As soon as I find my wedding dress."
"Whew, our investment is saved, Kami."
"But I think I left it back in the Western City. I must've stuck it somewhere while I was packing my Twinkies.... Kami? Are you crying?"
"*sniff sniff* My money....... wait a sec....... MR.POPO!! GO INTO THE SHIP..."
"What do you want Mr.Popo to get ,Kami?" asked Bulma as she looked under the bed.
"Well, maybe you can use my wedding garments?"
"You were a bride?"
"Well, yes... and no, you are forgetting that we Nameks are asexual."
"Do you think it will work?"
"It should. It worked for Piccolo and Madonna."
"Madonna is Namekian!?!"
"Of course. Many of her outfits are the traditional battle armor of the Nameks. She makes us so proud."
"Wow, who else is Namek?"
"Well, um, there's Ross Perot, Ben Savage, Natalie Portman...."
"Akira Toriyama?"
"Nah, he's just an android that we sent hundreds of years ago to probe the earth when were trying to conquer the planet."
"Oh."
Mr. Popo ran as fast as he could with the clothing and a weapon strapped to his back. Bulma picked up the weapon.
"Ummm, what's this for?" she said as she touched the tip of the giant battle ax.
"What? You do not believe in beheading the mate as soon as your.... oh dear, Mr. Popo, I do believe earth traditions have changed a great deal since my last visit. But it doesn't matter. You must get into your wedding garments. Wait a second, these are not Namekian."
"Forgive me Kami. But I ran into this one bearded old man. When I told him I was looking for some traditional wedding garments, he handed me this and said its perfectly natural for the earth women to wear it."
"Alright, as long as its traditional earth wedding garments, I have no problem with it."
Narrator: Little did Bulma know, Freeza's third cousin twice remove was watching her movements.
"So, this is who Vegeta mated with, eh?"
"I'm afraid so. Pity, I feel dishonored to fight a man who was willing to mate with one who is far weaker then his own," muttered Freeza from the next dimension as he watched another writer from Dragonball GT fry.
" So should I....."
"NO!!! Its not time yet. Wait until after she has the child, then we will strike."
Freeza's third cousin twice removed, nodded his head in understandment as he laid there and continued to analyze her.
Back at the 30 minute chapel......
Damn, there are more people out here then I thought. To think when I started I only invited six and now I got over 110. God I can't do this. I always thought I would be destined to travel around conquering planet after planet for Freeza..... now I'm stuck here on this blue marble.... its not too late to stop this. I don't have to be committed. I'm not an earthling like that baka, Kakorot!!!
"I'M NOT HUMAN!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!"
"Who were you talking too?" asked the baka... err Goku as he walked towards Vegeta. Goku wore a blue tux with a little white rose while Vegeta's composed of a red rose and a black tux.
"Was I talking to you? NO!! So just get the hell away from me."
"That's no way to talk to someone who came to see you two get together."
"I don't think that's gonna happen. I get married, they will all think of I... the great Prince of Saiyans.... as a......weakling...."
"Well, I'm married to Chi Chi and no one thinks of me any different."
Vegeta shifted his eyes, trying to think of a comeback....
"SO!?!"..... and fails miserably.
"Com'n, lighten up. Gez, this is starting to feel like the first night we came to Vegas. Are you just embarrassed that you have to kiss her in front of everyone here?"
"Kiss!?! No one said anything about a KISS!!" Vegeta ran towards a book that was neatly tucked away in the Capsule Corps Car. "Lets see here, "How to get Married"......... eh lets see here.... Namek.... Planet Vegeta..... Kentucky.... ah, Earth......number one: invite everyone to church.... done.... number two: get tux and wedding rings..... number three: Kiss the bride and carry her off to Hawaii!?! No no no.... I'll buy Twinkies for her, I'll save the planet for her, but there is no way I'm gonna kiss her in front of...."
"...110?"
"ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PEOPLE!!!"
"Do you love her?"
"............"
"Vegeta.... its a simple question of yes or no.... do-you-love-her?"
"You're just a third class baka. I do not have to answer to your pitiful questions."
"Of course.... but you must realize..... I'll get my answer when you two are up there with the preacher."
Vegeta watched wearily as Goku turned towards his family. He watched as Goku pick up Gohan and placed him on his neck in a piggy back fashion. To think, that will be him, his child and Bulma in a few years.... maybe. He slowly paced himself inside the great church. Food that was once in cased inside little capsules was now a banquet.... thankfully Nameks didn't eat or else there wouldn't be a blasted thing left. His steps echoed throughout the Cathedral. Gifts sat on the table. Reminds him of back when he was a pampered little brat. Ahhh, the old days. He then turned towards the alter. Up above was a stain glass painting. On it showed a woman in blue cloth holding a bleeding man.
"I remember...." he muttered as he sat on a bench. The blood mixing with his sweat, every day training to become a Super Saiyan. The blast that would've killed him. If she had not let him lay there and die. If she had not treated him day and night. The burst of feelings..... of someone caring for another. He remember the first time he felt it. He hid it, but he didn't want it to go away. It never did, but instead it was bottled up and will soon be released as a newborn child.... his child.
"VEGETA!!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!" shouted Goku as he came running down the aisle.
"Bah, just when things were actually starting to get serious in this story; what is it now, Kakorot!?!"
" Its the preacher!! He couldn't come today."
"WHAT!?!"
"He kind've ran off...."
"Let me guess, the Nameks?"
"Pretty much."
"WHERE THE HELL AM I GONNA GET ANOTHER PRE*..... wait a second."
Vegeta walked over towards Chowzu. "Hey kid, you said you were an emperor. Did you ever got two people hitched before?"
Chowzu turned his head side to side.
"Me? Oh well, a couple of times."
"Eh, you'll do. NOW WE CAN WE GET THIS BLASTED THING OVER WITH!!!" shouted Vegeta as he held Chowzu by one foot upside-down.
"Please don't hurt me. Ohhh, I feel nauseous. Could you please put me down?" cried Chowzu as his hat fell off.
"You better put the little guy down. Or else you'll make him sick and you won't have a preacher," said a man as he walked inside.
Goku turned and gasped. His lavender hair was neatly combed back, but Goku knew who he was.
"How---why are you...." he muttered. Chi Chi turned towards Goku.
"OH MY GOD!!! GOHAN GET THE MEDICINE!!! GOKU LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO HAVE THE HEART ATTACK!!!" she shouted as she ran and shoved Goku to the ground. She ripped off his shirt and flung open his jacket.
"Chi Chi, I'm***"
"SHUT UP!! I WON'T LET MY HUSBAND DIE!!!" she shouted as she began to perform mouth to mouth resesitation.
"Goku's fine. I'm just an old friend that he hasn't seen in awhile," said the man as he turned and walked over to his place near the alter. Chi Chi, with her mouth still on Goku looked up. A large man stood before them.
"Umm, sweetie, I don't think now is the time or the place to be doing that," said the Ox-King as he giggled a bit. Chi Chi blushed as she quickly got off him and took her seat.
"Hey Goku, how come you ain't gonna sit with us?" asked Krillan as he leaned against the side.
"Easy, Bulma, asked me to film the wedding."
And now for a limited time, we would like to present the wedding in......GOKU-VISION!!!!
There's Vegeta over there... hmm, I kind've figured this would be the one time he would actually smile. HEY VEGETA!!! SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!!! VEGETA!! I DIDN'T SAY RAISE YOUR MIDDLE FINGER!!! Hmm, I guess he didn't hear me. Oh well. Man, look at all that food. THEY EVEN HAVE COCKTAIL WIENERS!!! Whoops, better focus this thing back inside the church. Hey,there's Gohan. Lets go over and visit him.
"Oh my god, oh my god, I'm gonna lose. Please please don't go on with the wed.... OH!!Hi Dad!! What are you doing with the camera?"
"I'm filming the wedding, son."
"Cool."
"Hey, are those the rings?"
"Sure are. Hey, the music's starting!!"
There's the flower gir*.... whoa... is that....YAMCHA!!! My gosh. I guess he lost at Rock Paper Scissors with Piccolo. *sniff sniff* I wanted to be the flower person but Chi Chi didn't let me.
There's Trunks up there. Heh heh, I can't wait to show this years later to Vegeta on how he got his own son.... who wasn't even born yet to be his best man. Man, why is Gohan so nervous. I've seen him with more courage against Taurus then here. All he has to do is hand over the rings.
Hey, Bulma should be coming up. The doors are starting to open........ BULMA!!!
"Hey Piccolo, I didn't know Nameks dressed like THAT on wedding days."
"What are you saying?"
"I mean..... look at her.. she looks like Leia dressed up as Jabba's slave."
"Hmmm, I thought that was the way you humans dressed for wedding days?"
"Not really, but she doesn't look half bad in it. Good thing she's only like two and a half months. Or else that outfit...."
The thought alone makes my spine shiver. Well, back to the wedding.
"We are gathered......here.... to-br--br...."
"Bring" muttered Tien as he held Chowzu in front of the bible.
"Oh yes. Bring these two in holy matrimony. Do you Bulma Briefs take Vegeta.....err Vegeta, as your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do," she said as she smiled at him.
"Chowzu, you were suppose to asked the groom first, you also left out some words. Try to do it right for Vegeta?"
"Ka.....ummm.... Do you, Vegeta, take Bulma as your awfully wedded wife, to have and to hold till death do you part?"
Silence.... come on Vegeta.... don't be looking at the ground like that. If you love her, tell her damn it. Look at her!!! *Look at her*
*I don't know, Kakorot*
*She's already willing to spend the rest of her life with you.... don't you wanna do the same with her?*
"I do."
Whew.... oh crap....*Gohan, quit biting your nails, it's time for you to hand them the rings*
*But Daddy.......*
*GO!! Now!*
*Fine Fine....*
There's Gohan walking up towards the couple. Hey, what is he saying?
"psst, now you gotta kiss her!! Pucker up!!"he whispered in Vegeta's ear.
Vegeta cocked an eyebrow. He turned towards the audience. There looks to be more people here then he thought. Vegeta stared at her for a few seconds. He then looked down at Gohan.... a smile curled his lips. Gohan's eyes widened.
"Sorry kid.... you lose," he muttered as he dipped Bulma and planted his lips directly on hers. The crowd began to gash as Vegeta held her tightly against her.
"*sniff sniff* they make such a.... unique couple," cried Mrs.Briefs.
"YEAH!!! WE WON!!!" shouted the Nameks as they began to over run Gohan.
Gohan grumbled as a line was formed, paying each one of them.
Goku stood in the midst of it all. His eyes looked down and widen.
"HEY GUYS!!!" he shouted. Vegeta stopped his kiss and turned his head towards him.
"What is it now, Kakorot!?!"
"Well.... could you two like redo the wedding. I ummm, kind've left the lens cap on," he blushed as he removed it. Vegeta dropped Bulma as a vein bulged from his head.
"...run....and run FAR.... cause when I get through with you.....". Goku gulped as he immediately ran out of the church. "COME BACK YOU BAKA!!!" he shouted as he chased him outside.
So we ended up doing the wedding all over again. This time, we had a real wedding dress, preacher and someone who knew if the lens cap was on or not. Had a nice honeymoon believe it or not. Nothing much happened afterward.... well except for Bulma's late night Twinkie cravings. It was about when Bulma was in her sixth month of pregnancy.... that's when things really started going down the crapper..........
Kami's house.....on the beach.....
It was peaceful as the sun burned up above. Vegeta walked along side the beach after a good spar with Piccolo. He turned his attention to his wife laying on the sandy beach.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?! Its hotter then hell out here. You should be inside with the Central Air instead."
"Its called 'getting a tan'. Unlike you who was born with it, I have to lay out here to earn mine. I don't want to be pale as a ghost for when our child arrives," she replied as she picked the wedge in her thong. She then pulled out a bottle and began to spread some sun tan oil on her stomach.
"Looks like you're cooking the thing rather then holding it." Bulma began to laugh, but let out a cry.
"What... what is it!?!"
"Gah, the pain, its happening. More stronger then ever....." she screamed as she began to clutch her tummy and cry.
"Hold on!!" replied Vegeta as he scooped her up in his arms and flew her back to Western City.
Capsule Corps.......
Vegeta, still in his trunks, paced back and forth against the cool marble floor. Dr.Briefs came out of the doors.
"WELL!?!"
"Well Vegeta, it appears the same thing that happened to Chi Chi.... is in fact happening to Bulma as well."
"Well is she sick? Dying? ANSWER ME!!!"
"Oh she's perfectly fine. But the child.....well... its kicking."
"What? That's it. The baby kicked?"
"Think about it, Vegeta. That baby's gonna have the strength someday to benchpress a Buick. Ever saw the movie Aliens? Well, the same thing is gonna happen to her, and the child will die with her."
"You have to do something!!!"
"I am, but you have to help me. Are you willing to put your life on the line to save this child and her?"
Vegeta went silent for a second. "Yes... I promised her that the day we got married... again."
"There are two ways of treatment;the first one involves what Chi Chi did and placed the baby in a chamber till it was time....but of course Bulma wants to have it naturally and in order to do that I need to insert a certain vaccine, it will make the walls of her insides tough enough to take the pressures and pain of having a Saiyan child. But...."
"But?"
"The process takes exactly one week. But the baby cannot be present inside. Which means that in order for it to live, it needs to be inside someone else.... the father to be precise...."
Narrator: Will Vegeta be able to take the pressures of motherhood for one week? What is our main villain, Freeza's Third Cousin Twice Removed, doing here? What is his plan and why does it involve Vegeta's child? Could there actually be a plot in this story!?! Stay tune for the next Dragonball Z..... The 9 Months Saga.