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Chapter 1

"What time is it?" Ashley asked, a tone of innocence echoing through her voice, up to her childlike expression.

"Uh... three fifty seven." Heero said, glancing at his watch (which doubled as a detonator if he was really running low on resources).

Ashley dropped the act, and set her sights on the nearest television set. "Move it, dammit. Sailor Moon is on!" She made a b-line for the couch, shoved a sleeping Wufei aside. She stopped in mid shove. "What the....? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ITS HEAD???? ITS NASTY AND GREASY!!!" The sound of her voice seemed to resonate over many miles. She grabbed a lamp that was resting upon a doily-covered TV table. Wufei blinked his dark eyes in a startled manner. As his eyes focused, the blurry shape of Ashley with the table side lamp raised over her head came into view. His eyes opened wide, as he rolled off the couch.

"IT'S ALIVE! Kelly! I need back-up! Bring out the rubber gloves and the sedatives! Croiky! This one needs a bath!" She explained in Steve Erwin-esque dialogue. "Tamen, that can be YOUR job!"

Tamen looked at her watch. Only ten more minutes before the painkillers would kick in. She could do it. She could make it... she tried to tell herself, at least.

"Where is my room?" She asked. Another figure popped out from behind a randomly placed piece of furniture. A long braid swung over the arm of the chair. Wufei leapt over the couch, and made a dive behind the chair.

"Maxwell, hide me!"

"Wu-man is being scared by a girl!"

"That's not a- well, maybe it is. But all I saw was a lamp!"

"Whatchu talking about, Wu-man?"

"Don't call me Wu-man!"

However the threat was temporarily postponed as the redundant theme song of Sailor moon began to sound throughout the first floor. A smile of peace and serenity spread across Ashley's face, as she settled onto the couch.

Duo began to speak, but Ashley swiveled around, looking demonically possessed. In an inhuman voice, Ash rasped out "No speaking, creature. Sailor moon graces us with her presence."

Six anime-style sweat drops appeared around the room, as the others slunk into the other room, leaving Ashley to her passion.

"Don't worry. In another half-hour, Kelly will be the same way. Dragonball will be on." Tamen explained habitually. "Now... where are we staying? I have art supplies to unpack."

Duo, who was twitching out of fear, pointed quietly to a set of stairs winding up all the way to the balconies. " Third floor. You have it all to yourselves."

"Yay!" Tamen exclaimed. She quickly quieted herself, nearly able to feel Ashley's red hot glares through solid wall. She slid up the stairs at an easy pace, with Kelly dragging Allison behind her without a second thought.

It didn't take them more than fifteen minutes to unpack into their individual room, as Tamen set up her temporary "studio". Kelly's watch beeped, and she ran down to join Ashley on the couch for the next portion of Toonami. As Tamen stood up from connecting her laptop to a scanner, she heard Ashley wandering aimlessly though the halls.

"Where's my room?"

"Up here Ash!" Tamen yelled, leaning over the railing. Ashley look up in bewilderment. "Oooo stairs...."

She threw her assortment of bags over her shoulder and made her way up the several flights of stairs.

As dinner neared, Heero reached into the freezer for some microwave meals. Kelly grabbed his wrist. He jumped back.

"WE can cook! No need for that!" She said, smiling sweetly.

Ashley, who was doing a Sailor Moon word search at the kitchen table darted over the phone. "I'm calling for pizza!" Kelly grabbed Heero's gun and shot the phone. Ashley whined, "Kelly! I needed that!"

"I SAID WE CAN COOK!"

"But you said it, you know all I can make is muffins!"

"Tamen can make.... stuff."

Tamen walked by the kitchen as Kelly stated this. She looked up from her sketchpad. " What are you committing me to?"

"You can cook, cantcha Tamen?"

"... I can make lasagna... and..." Ashley continued, counting off on her fingers. She was ignored.

"A few things." Tamen responded.

"muffins... but especially...."

"See? Toldja she can cook!"

"...hot pockets!" Ashley finished. "Just stick it in the microwave for 4:20, and you're good to go."

Tamen and Kelly sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"Weren't you listening?" Ashley inquired, a bit choked up.

"Um... sure." Tamen said, slightly embarrassed.

"No." Kelly said bluntly. She pushed Heero out of the kitchen. "Don't worry. Come dinner time, we'll have something!"

Three hours later, everyone was fairly famished, except for Allison, who had helped herself to just about anything in the pantry. Tamen had finally shut her in a closet with several bags of potato chips. There were content munchings coming from it for many minutes.

When everyone was seated around the long table, rather impatiently, the door swung open, banging carelessly on its hinges. Lo and behold, Ashley appeared, brandishing a plate of...

"Fresh from the microwave Hot Pockets!"

Everyone groaned silently.

"Well, Tamen made potatoes and stuffing. We were going to have turkey, but lunch meat doesn't hold up very well in ovens. Kelly's still trying to scrape the remains off the bottom. I think she's sulking now."

Tamen, with a huge sweat drop trailing behind her blonde and blue head, dropped a heaping bowl of potatoes as well as an overflowing bowl of stuffing onto the middle of the table. The Hot Pockets were laid out with care in a fan formation by Ashley, as Kelly peered out from behind the cracked open door.

Allison, recently released from the confines of the closet scooped up three Hot Pockets. Two new faces appeared at the table. They introduced themselves politely as Quatre and Trowa, as Allison slurped down a Hot Pocket and burped. "Oooo! I only spilled on myself once! A new record!"

Clapping came from the females in the room. "Honestly, its an accomplishment." Tamen stated truthfully. "Maybe tomorrow we can try spaghetti! Now THAT would be an event worth talking about!"

"Help yourselves everyone!" Ashley said with pride. "Not you, Wufei. First, wash your nasty grimy hair. Then you may eat." As she sat down, she said just loud enough to be audible, " I'm so mean, aren't I?" With a slight smile, she grabbed a Hot Pocket.

As the group began to eat, (or rather prod a Hot Pocket) there was a knock at the door. Kelly went over to the door, stood on stool, and looked out the peephole.

"My Lordy. It's May! Tamen! Block the doors! Ashley! Turn out the lights! Allison! Don't bother! We're not home!" She hissed.

May whacked at the doorbell a couple more times. "Oh well, must be the wrong house. Maybe I'll..." She walked away, muttering to herself, and comparing the address on a slip of paper that Relena had given her to the one on the mailbox. "Maybe its down the road... no...." She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, that she nearly tripped over the golf cart.

As the girls watched her skip off, they thought simultaneously, thank GOD she's a moron.