Email: swythangel@hotmail.com
Title: Devil In the Sun
Type: 6/6, Series
Teaser: Ken is caught by Schwarz and, ah hell, I can't describe it..just read please
Rating: PG -13
Spoilers:
Warnings: Shonen Ai, yaoi hints, torture, AU
Disclaimer: Weiß Kreuz is not mine…will never be mine but damn if that'll stop me from torturing their lives in my fics...
Keywords: Ken, Brad, BradxKen, Schwarz, torture
The
end! I actually finished this before Gotterdammerung blinks>Ah well!I
will finish Gotterdammerung, Siberian-chan! I will, I will! After the teaser
fic…if i ever start on the teaser fic.grin>
Thanks
to everyone who commented. And I'm really sorry,minna-san, but there is
no lemon here either...urk! please don't killme.
Here's
thelast part, hope it meets your expectations.
Devil In the Sun
Part 6
Schuldich's revelation served only to boost the doubt in Brad's heart. The seed had been planted when he had his vision while fighting Aya and Ken's reaction to Schwarz' battles with Weiß.
This made his relationship with Ken change, it became uneasier. The invisible wall of Weiß and Schwarz between them. He suspected that Ken was experiencing the same thing. The boy was always lost in thoughts these days.
/Maybe it is time to end this…/
But Brad couldn't take the first step. He still loved Ken. Very much.
So he took out his frustrations on the Weiß leader. Abyssinian went home with a lot of bullet wounds and bruises these days. Almost equal to the sword nicks Brad had. The stoic redhead gave as much as he got.
If Ken and Weiß had not been in the way, he would have admired Abyssinian.
***
Ken noticed the invisible wall growing between him and Brad. Noticed and understood. There was no avoiding it, it was inevitable.
As was Brad's refusal to discuss the issue at all. That too was inevitable. The Schwarz leader shied away from matters pertaining to them. A distinct peculiarity since the American was normally conscientious and persistent with problems. Just look at the single-minded efforts to kill Weiß.
Not that Ken blamed him. Because to discuss the issue would be to destroy the comfortable ambience of their relationship.
Here there were no Weiß and no Schwarz. No murders or pain. Just Brad and Ken.
But how long could this last? Reality would intrude and when it did, where would they be? Ken didn't want to let go of Brad but he wanted to go back to Weiß too. They were his friends, his family. He couldn't let them go.
And he knew Brad long enough now to know that Brad would never consider leaving Schwarz. Try as he might to make it look like they were just people he worked with, Ken knew better. Brad was fiercely loyal to Schwarz. He too would not betray them.
/But I can try and make him…if I really want to./
It was a thought best left for another day. Today he had Brad. Ken reasoned out. Tomorrow would sort itself out. He would live in the sun and seize the day, just as he always did.
And with that thought he walked towards the one who held his heart, to try and ease the worry behind the blank mask, tripping on the carpet as he always did.
***
Days and weeks passed. Brad still went back to Schwarz during the weekdays and fought Weiß. On weekends he would go back to Ken and the isolated mountain cabin, trying to make the happiness last, ignoring the inevitable.
But fate would not have that. So came the inevitable day…
***
Ken stared at Brad with worried eyes. The American had been staring out the window ever since he had arrived with the most preoccupied expression on his face.
/What are you thinking about, Brad?/
Ken looked at Brad's shadowy profile in the setting sun for a while before venturing to ask.
"Brad. Is something wrong?"
Silence.
Ken was shocked to see a tear fall from Brad's cheek. /He never cries…/
"What's wrong?"
Ken walked over to where the older man remained immobile and laid a hand on Brad's arm. This time Brad answered him, not moving from his position, not even to look at Ken's worried eyes.
"There is to be a prisoner exchange."
Ken backed away as if he had been burned. The implication was not lost on him.
/I can finally return to Aya, Youji and Omi!/
/How can I leave Brad?/
Emotions and thoughts warred in his mind. It was a long time before he answered. Only when he was numb enough to do so did he take a deep breath and asked.
"Who are you getting for me?"
"Weiß captured Schuldich in the last mission. Esset and Schwarz want Schuldich back. I have suggested a prisoner exchange. We have told Weiß that you are alive. They were only too happy to exchange Schuldich for you."
::He is Weiß and you are Schwarz. And never the twain shall meet.::
Brad lapsed into silence, staring blindly at the scenery outside the window for the longest time.
"Your happiness has become indispensable to me."
He couldn't help but say it. Instantly regretting the words as soon as it left his lips.
::He is Weiß and you are Schwarz. And never the twain shall meet.::
"I am happy here."
"Your feelings will soon change once you know everything. The world outside has changed beyond this little cabin."
"Tell me about it." Ken told him, grinning. It had been a standing joke between them, the way Brad refused to talk about anything outside.
/How can you joke about something serious like this?/
Brad wanted to tell Ken but he didn't want to show his inner turmoil so he didn't. Instead, the cruel streak he seldom let Ken see, surfaced to save him from making a fool of himself.
"The last confrontation of Weiß and Schwarz is coming soon."
Brad said it straight out. Brad wanted to shatter the hard-won intimacy they had been sharing for the past months. He wanted to let Ken understand what this latest development implied. Once Ken returned to Weiß, they would be enemies again. There would be no going back.
::He is Weiß and you are Schwarz. And never the twain shall meet.::
But the idiot didn't understand at all. All Ken saw was Brad suffering.
"I don't want to go home."
Brad flicked a finger, throwing an imaginary pawn at Ken. He was calling Ken a liar.
"I get you." Ken told Brad.
"How stupid can you be?" Brad arched an eyebrow at him. "You shouldn't have tried that on me."
"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."
/You are hurting me more by what you do./
"Baka."
"Yeah, sometimes."
***
They didn't sleep in the same bed that night. Brad chose to sleep on the couch. As if he was trying to exorcise Ken out of his life already.
/Life goes on. It is reality. I have seen so many futures and so many of these realities for so long. And survived them all. I will survive this../
He was wearing his usual impeccable three-piece suit the next day when he came into the bedroom to take Ken with him.
"It will be a little difficult for you." Brad told him, moving robotically, his face pale. "You had been reported death to Weiß. The circumstances of your imprisonment have not been divulged to anyone."
"Saaa, I'll tell them. They'll understand."
"You have to get changed."
Brad gave Ken his old assassin gear, torn in several places with dried blood on them. And Ken blinked. His body had filled out to its normal form throughout his stay in the cabin and he looked like he had been taken good care of. There was no way anyone would believe the image Brad wanted to present.
"Who is this suppose to fool?"
"You're bloody assassin friends, I don't know." Brad snapped back.
Ken dressed. More for Brad's sake than because he believed the other Weiß members would believe in the charade. He looked worriedly at the Schwarz leader. Brad looked like he would pass out at any moment.
"Ready?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go then." Brad's tone was clipped as he turned to lead the way to the waiting helicopter.
"Brad." Ken laid a hand on his arm. "Why don't you join Weiß?" /Join me./
The unspoken words hung in the air. Ken knew that Brad understood. He would be able to see it in Ken's eyes.
Join Weiß? The spontaneous offer to join enemy ranks surprised Brad for a moment. He didn't expect it.
Brad knew it was a genuine offer from Ken. But as much as he might care for the boy, he knew what his answer would be. Reality would never allow him to delude himself into thinking that there could be a chance that this relationship would work out. But most importantly, Brad was Schwarz, his beliefs, his actions and his thoughts were Schwarz, anything else was immaterial.
It was time to end this.
"Join Weiß? Yes, I suppose your friends would welcome someone who has cut them up so many times? And kidnapped one of their sister?"
Ken fairly beamed with excitement at the thought that Brad was considering his proposal. He completely disregarded the sarcasm in his tone.
"Well I'll handle it. At first it'll be rough going but they'll accept it, eventually. Once they see what a great guy you are."
/Aa, Ken. How you can turn a blind eye to what I did to you before is something I can never understand. You don't even seek revenge…instead you ask me to join you, you hold me in high regard… You are too naïve./
"And are you not afraid that I might just be using you to get to them? To find out who commands Weiß and squash your assassin group to pieces? I am Schwarz' leader after all."
"Brad, you wouldn't do that."
Conviction filled Ken's words.
Ken had seen Brad in all of his vulnerability. He had conveniently forgotten how Brad operated as a Schwarz member. And that was dangerous.
Ken needed to understand the danger of trusting his enemy. And Brad was going to be his enemy again. The next time they met it would be on the battlefield. With Ken on the side of Weiß and Brad with Schwarz.
::He is Weiß and you are Schwarz. And never the twain shall meet.::
It was then that Brad realized the truth in Schuldich's word. The world of difference between Ken and himself.
In this insulated world they had created together, it had not mattered at all. Allowances had been made and accepted. Some truths could be avoided in the solitary shelter far from anyone concerned.
But such a relationship would never last outside especially in the glaring light of unavoidable truth. And Brad knew it from the first. He just didn't want to face facts. Because he had been selfish enough to want what had been offered.
Now was the time for Ken and him to face facts.
Brad deliberately used the coldest, cruelest tone of voice in his repertoire.
"You don't know the extent of what I can do, Ken Hidaka. You don't know *me*. I am Schwarz. I can kill even you if I have to."
Ken looked at him with shocked eyes that threatened to spill in tears. Brad couldn't take it, this trust Ken saw in him to be shattered without cause. He needed to explain his side at the very least. Explain and make a clean cut. Then he could go on with his life.
He grabbed Ken by the shoulders.
"Listen, Ken. I only speak truth. Once we go out this door, you will be Siberian of Weiß and I will be Brad Crawford of Schwarz. The boundaries that this cabin has set aside will once more be firmly in place. There is nothing you can do about it but accept."
/As I will have to accept./
"And if I do not want to accept?" Ken asked him, voice tremulous.
"Then you die. By my own hand or by Schuldich, Farfarello or even Nagi. You are an assassin, Ken. You know what it entails. There is no place for mercy." Brad's tone was cruel. The truth always was.
In Brad's mind, he wasn't just convincing Ken, he was convincing himself. He needed to be emotionally stable and ready to face Weiß again, now that Esset's plans were in their critical phase. He needed to be cruel, calculating. He needed to be Crawford, Schwarz' leader. There was no room for emotion.
"I love you."
The three simple words came out unadorned, devoid of any flowery accompaniment. Uttered in true Ken style, simple, with all his emotions in his expressive eyes and a wistful yearning in his voice.
By themselves, they should have been meaningless. Should have been. But it came from *him* and this threw Brad off balance.
/I love you too./
No! He wouldn't say it. To say it would be to submit to whatever Ken wanted. And what Ken wanted was impossible.
"But I don't."
That definitely shook Ken. The hurt and pain clear in his eyes. But Brad closed his heart to the disillusioned boy in front of him. He didn't take him into his arms nor did he utter words of comfort. The time for emotion had passed. There was nothing the both of them could do but follow the path set on them by fate.
"Let's go."
He led the way out of the cabin with a quiet Ken in tow.
"Get in, Siberian."
Brad had drawn out his gun and nudged Ken to get into the helicopter where the rest of Schwarz waited. It was time for Weiß to be Weiß and Schwarz to be Schwarz.
When the helicopter lifted off the mountain and had gained sufficient altitude, Brad pressed the remote control in his hand.
The last action to end the dream. Because it was a dream, nothing else. And it was time to wake up.
The cabin exploded. A twinge of regret and that was all. Brad cruelly let his emotions die with the memories in the now non-existent cabin.
He felt rather than heard Ken's distress as the brown-haired boy saw the cabin destroyed. But when Brad turned towards him, Ken looked away. The last thing Brad saw in Ken's eyes before they became expressionless tore at him. It had been one of disillusioned betrayal.
/That is good, Ken. That will help you build up your anger at me. And when we met again, you will have the strength to face Schwarz as a member of Weiß./
Brad should have been comforted by the thought. Ken would be able to survive now. And fate alone would determine whom among Weiß and Schwarz would win. But somehow, something inside of him cried out at the thought of what he had just done.
/So much for emotions blowing up with the cabin./
::He is Weiß and you are Schwarz. And never the twain shall meet.::
Maybe, if he kept telling himself that, he would eventually believe it.
No, he would believe it. He would forget everything that happened. Brad's iron will would not let him do otherwise. He would block out the feelings and emotions. Erase Ken Hidaka from his mind. Become what he was before.
From now on, he would be Schwarz' leader and nothing else. He would be Brad Crawford. Nothing would stand in his way.
Somewhere from the back of his memory, he remembered something Ken told him a long time ago.
//"I'm sort of disappointed though…"
"Nani? Why?" Brad asked Ken, confused.
"I always feel that White should win over Black."//
/Well, Ken, it seems that the White King wins in the end, ne?/
OWARI
^_~ I told you guys I'm a depressing writer.
Somehow, I felt like the
whole thing was a pointless exercise. -_-; I try and try to make it deep
and non-cliché and it comes out like this. It felt like it went
nowhere…sigh> but as usual I'd love your comments.