Disclaimer

Disclaimer: We do not own Gundam Wing, or anything associated with them (or anything else except for our cardboard box, and this trusty laptop, which we exchanged on the black market in exchange for a wombat toenail. We don't even own the socket that we plugged the laptop in, oh shit! The homeowner has retur- we must go! Quickly, to the Angel Mobile(cardboard box)!). We do, however, own the rights to the stories we concoct. And, being the creative and enlightened authors that we are, reserve the right to abuse all characters in our stories as we see fit, or at least to the fullest extent of the law. And no, this has nothing to do with Christmas.

Five Gundam Guys, Four Easily Amused SPEDs, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

Chapter 4

"I'm hungryyyyyy!" Kelly, Allison, and Duo whined.

"We need to go shopping."

"Like THAT would be successful. Lets beg Relena for money."

"AND FOOD!"

"When's Relena coming? I thought it wasn't till next week!"

"QUATRE!!"

"Oh, she called this morning. Sorry." He said, leaning back in his chair.

"Oh, so we're going out to dinner or what?" Tamen asked.

As the group argued over whose fault it was for the lack of food, Ashley had located what she thought to be Tamen's laptop. She flipped the top up, and loaded it. As the password screen came up, she tried the usual password. Capricorn.

"Dammit Tamen! You changed your password!" I think she did this on purpose!

"Omae o korosu." Heero threw into the raging argument.

Ashley unconsciously typed it in. The computer launched into a plain windows format.
A file dubbed "Dr. J" came up on the hard drive.

"Wassis? A new anime? Not anymore. Delete." She looked over the boring desktop. "Tamen, why does your computer suck? You lost all my images!"

Tamen was too busy kicking Wufei in the shins to hear her. Ashley proceeded to plug it into the nearest phone jack, and logged on to her web site.

That afternoon, Heero went over to his computer to download his latest mission. As a flowered password box came up, he looked at it quizzically. He punched in his password, and the computer emitted a loud sound.

"Sailor Moon says... hehe... see yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Then it froze.

The sound continued to pour out.

"What the hell??!?!??" He whacked it. The sound stopped, and the computer shut itself down.

Two hours and thirteen minutes later, Kelly stormed in the room.

"Shut that damn thing off!" She snarled.

"It won't let me use my password."

"Gimme." Kelly typed in the first thing that came to her mind.

"Fighting evil by moonlight..." the computer began to chorus.

Kelly walked away as the theme song echoed through the hall. Heero stared at it with a sense of wonderment. He moved the cursor to the now vacant spot where his communication file had once resided.

"This can not be good." He tried to restrain himself. He went over to the search function. As he clicked it...

"Pegasus protect people's dreams! Crystal twinkle bell!"

He sweat dropped.

Tamen had just booted up her computer when she sensed that she was being stalked. She threw a pillow behind the couch. Ashley "umphed". She snuck up over the edge. "You changed it back to the wolf theme! I hate it when you do that! I already changed it once today!"

"No you didn't. It's been like this for a full twenty four hours."

"No it hasn't"

"Yes, it has."

"Don't be a dumbass. I changed SOMEONE'S computer! If it wasn't yours then..."

"Hold it right there!" Sailor Moon's voice boomed in the other room.

"Oh crud."

"WHERE'S MY DAMN FILE?"

"Ok, time to go back behind the couch!" Ashley whimpered.

"Shut yer frickin mouth! I'm TRYING to watch Dragonball!" Kelly roared.

"Oooo. I'm goin out! Cover me Tamen!"

"Just as soon as you keep your hands off my damn computer."

"Fine! I'll just..." As Ashley rounded the corner, she ran into Heero. "go watch Dragonball with Kelly? SHE'LL PROTECT ME! Right Kelly?"

"Do you have food?"

" Um.. yes?" Ashley slipped into the other room.

"... er... Tamen... did you...?"

"I didn't touch it. Ask Ashley." She said, her eyes never wavering from her latest project.
On the thought of if Tamen was a real name, Heero strolled into the TV room.

"Ashley?"

"I didn't do it!"

"Didn't do WHAT?" He glared.

Ashley hid behind Kelly. "Nothing. Go back outside, we'll start over.

Heero whipped out his gun. Right in front of the TV. "MOVE THE DAMN GUN. IT'S IN THE FRICKIN WAY. I can't see Dragonball. And if I can't see Dragonball, I'm NOT happy."

Heero slowly backed away. He mouthed "fix it" to Ashley, and drew his finger across his throat.
Ashley got very uncomfortable and got up to fix Heero's laptop.

"We need to go shopping," Tamen says. "We're going to a very expensive restaurant and we need to look good, and we can charge it to Relena."

"Okay," everybody said in unison.

Everybody entered the garage and got into one of the two cars that Relena provided for them. Allison, Heero, and Duo all piled into the navy blue, soft top Hummer with Kelly driving. Allison called shotgun. Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre, got into the ice blue MPV, with Tamen driving and Ashley in the front.

"Great. I'm stuck with the make out boys, Mr. Greasy, and Ms. Talkative. it's gonna be a long ride." Tamen grumbled.

When they all finally got to the mall it was 6:00, and they all had to meet Relena at 7:30. First, they headed off to Sears.

Kelly, Ashley, and Tamen tried on various dresses. Kelly bought a metallic cerulean blue dress. It was lit up in various places and seemed to change color with the light. Ashley purchased (or rather charged) a ruby red dress. Tamen charged a long twilight blue dress to Relena's account. Allison insisted upon buying a tuxedo with the guys.

So, the next stop was American Commodore. Duo came out sporting the "rainbow" tux. He was quickly ushered back into the dressing room, and grumbling picked out a pure black one. Heero went in next, and got a snow white tuxedo with black cummerbund and bow tie. He looked decent. Quatre and Trowa went in next, and came out twenty minutes later, looking quite satisfied, but still in street clothes.

"Um.... Quatre hon, you're still wearing jeans." Tamen objected.

Trowa began to give her a death glare, reminiscent of Kelly and Heero. Tamen growled at him before he could even complete it. "Don't give me THAT, unibang. I'm pretty sure that Ashley has her scissors with her." Ashley waved, grinning like a psychotic three year old.

Quatre turned around to go back in, and Trowa wanted to follow. Kelly grabbed his arm and whipped him back into place. "I think not, lover boy. You go in next."

Allison went in after the couple had finally chosen their Tuxedos. She was also fitted into a black tuxedo, and looked like Duo's twin as she too wore all onyx.

Wufei went last, and found that there were only two tuxedos left in his size. Duo's psychedelic rainbow tuxedo, and a dusty powder blue 1976 tux. He cringed at the thought of either, but, out of his sheer desire to retain some of his sanity, ended up in the powder blue tux.

As he emerged, everyone busted out laughing.

"I think my dad wore that to get married in!" Tamen said, trying to stifle giggles.

Kelly and Ashley were on the ground, laughing hysterically, and of course, pointing.

When they were finished, it was a quarter after seven. They dove into their respective cars, and floored it to the restaurant. As they rushed in, they were greeted by an obnoxious waiter, who seated them at the large "Reserved for Peacecraft" table.

"Ow! Tamen! Are you wearing steel toed boots or what?" Wufei asked, as he mistakenly got in her way.

"Combat boots. It was the only pair I brought!" She said, when she was greeted by inquisitive looks.

"Call for Yuy!"

Heero muttered "Dammit."

"I'll get it." Kelly said. She jumped up from her seat next to Heero, and answered the phone.

"Wassssssap?" She yelled into the receiver. There was a silence.

"Um... who is this?"

"Me."

"Me who?"

"Kelly!"

At this point, Heero gave up and grabbed the phone.

"Heeeeeeeroooo!"

"Damn Relena! The whole restaurant can hear you!"

"I'll be there in ten minutes. Bye love!"

Heero shuddered. "Ewwww..."

They all ordered their food, Ashley sticking to her usual salad and fruit punch kool-aid, Tamen ordering crab and orange soda, Kelly ordered spaghetti and Pepsi One, and Allison ordered ribs and "lettuce in a bowl" with Mountain Dew. Heero requested chicken on a bone with Pepsi, Wufei got rice and an egg roll ("I'm sticking with what I KNOW.") and herbal tea, Quatre ordered salad and roast beef with water, Trowa asked for steak and water, and Duo getting an "all-American hamburger" and fries. He suckered the waitress into giving him red wine by flirting extensively. Tamen looked rather jealous after his little excursion.

Relena was late, and arrived after they all had their food. She ordered fish and sparkling white grape juice because she couldn't flirt with the waitress as well as Duo. Actually, the waitress was rather disgusted that Relena would even try to flirt with her. She looked for a place to sit. Ashley gladly gave up her seat between Allison and Duo. She couldn't take sitting next to them after they growled at her for reaching for the rolls. The table was set up next to a wall and Tamen had the head of it. On one side of the table sat Duo, Relena, Allison, Quatre, and Trowa next to the wall, in that order. The other side was as follows: Kelly, Heero, Ashley, and Wufei by the wall, in that order.

Everybody was eating peacefully until Kelly started to spill all over the new dress that Relena had so graciously bought for her. Everybody but Kelly and Allison had managed to stay stain free up until now, so they got Allison and Kelly some bibs. Kelly's was faulty and she managed to spill all over herself anyway. She even managed to spill all over Heero, who seemed to catch most of the things he had spilled.

"Ya know, you really shouldn't've gotten a white tux." Kelly explained while looking at all of the red spots she had gotten all over his shirt and pants from her spaghetti.

"Thanks for the warning." Heero replied sarcastically.

When dinner was finished, Relena said that she had to use the "little girl's room" before she left. As soon as she was out of sight, a loud "SCATTER" was heard from the Peacecraft table.

"Don't worry about the bill," Kelly said, "Relena will be back soon, she'll pick up the tab." As she finished talking to the waitress, she bolted out the door, following the example of the others.

When Relena returned from the bathroom, she found the table empty and a large white sheet of paper on the table, displaying the amount the meal had come to. For the first time in her life, she was actually angry with Heero.