The Beach Part 3: The Thrilling Conclusion
Reese must think quickly. The girl of his dreams is drowning! He dives into the ocean, and scans the water for her. He sees her, grabs her hand, and carries her to safety. Reese lays her down on the beach. Morgan's unconscious. He leans down to give her mouth-to-mouth. Morgan awakens with a start.
Morgan: How dare you! I told you that you weren't my type!
Morgan grabs the nearest object, a piece of kelp, and slaps Reese in the face with it.
Morgan: And don't ever think about coming near me again, you pervert!
Reese stumbles off, ashamed and confused.
Back in the water, Malcolm is having his own problems. When the giant wave came along, not only did it knock the wind out of him, but it knocked his swimsuit off as well.
Malcolm: Why do things like this always happen to me? Why am I sitting in the middle of the ocean, butt naked?????????? Could this get any worse????????
Nearby, a kid about Malcolm's size floats bye, eyes closed. Malcolm begins to grapple with his conscience, unsure whether to do the right thing, or to save face. He decides to save face. He swiftly grabs the boy's swimsuit, and puts it on himself.
Malcolm: Much better! I'm not naked anymore!
Flor: Malcolm! Malcolm! Come here! I have another math problem for you to figure out!
Malcolm: Uh-oh!
Malcolm runs for his life, and ends up losing Flor in the crowd. As he runs, the shark that has been terrorizing the swimmers finally surfaces. It is Dewey, with a piece of gray cardboard attached to his back with a huge rubber band. He leaps out of the water, and rushes to catch up with his two humiliated brothers.
Meanwhile………
Lois: Oh dear God, what am I going to do????? I can't believe I knocked the ashes of Hal's father into the toilet!!!! How could such a thing happen to me???? Well, there's only one thing to do.
Lois reaches into the toilet bowl and yanks out the vase. The vase is miraculously intact, but the ashes are gone. Lois spots the pack of cigarettes sitting on the counter, and has a flash of brilliance.
She lights up a cigarette, and smokes it, dumping the ashes into the vase. Soon, the vase is full, and Lois is safe.
Lois: This can just be my little secret.
She discretely walks out of the bathroom, and into the living room.
Hal: Honey, it's time to pick up the boys.
Lois: Nice seeing you again, Barbara.
Barbara: Yes, I'm sure it was, wasn't it, Snowy?
Lois: Hal, your mom is getting senile. Why is she talking to the dog?
Hal: That's just the way she is. Trust me, it's not the weirdest thing she's ever done.
Hal and Lois leave, with Barbara scowling, and Snowy growling.
The beat up station wagon arrives at the beach. Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey climb inside.
Hal: So, did you boys have fun?
Reese: (grunts)
Malcolm: (grunts)
Dewey: It was the most fun ever!!!!!!!!!!!! When can we come back?