Copyright ©2000 by K. Adams
EPILOGUE…May 2000.
The street in front of the Walsh house is jam packed as friends, relatives, former lovers, and sunglassed security men arrive for the much anticipated, much delayed wedding of Brandon Walsh and Kelly Taylor. After Brandon came back Jim and Cindy had decided not to sell the house after all. Instead they rented it to Steve, his new wife Janet, and Matt Durning, the attorney who nearly a year ago had tried in vain to prosecute the Virelli family.
Kelly stands in front of the dresser in Brenda's old bedroom and stares at herself in the mirror. She runs her fingers over the silk dress that Donna had designed for her and Fed-exed from the resort where she'd been since her breakdown. Val enters.
"Kel, are you ready yet? Or have you finally realized that Brandon's too good for you?" Val snickers.
"Even you can't ruin my mood today, Val." Kelly checks her hair and makeup one last time. Then someone knocks on the door. "C'mon in, mom."
"It's not your mom." Kelly turns around to find Steve and David fidgeting in their ill-fitting tuxes.
"Hey, guys. How's Brandon holding up?"
"He's nervous as hell. Who can blame him?" Steve sighs.
"I'd be nervous, too, if my murdering ex-wife was out to get me at my wedding. Is there room for a bullet-proof vest under that dress?" quips Val. Steve and David motion for her to shut up, as if she were saying something Kelly didn't already know.
"C'mon, Val. You know the Virellis haven't set foot in Beverly Hills since the trial. Besides, if anyone without an invitation shows up, the security brute squad outside will nail 'em," Steve reassures.
"If you say so," Val says. "Just don't expect me to stand too close to you, Kel."
"Steve," Kelly yells, finally, "could you please escort my maid of honor—God help me—out of here, before I kill her?" Val smiles crookedly. Steve grabs Val's arm.
"C'mon, you. We'll find you some nice single guy out here whose life you can ruin," Steve says as he pulls Val out of the bedroom. Kelly checks herself again in the full-length mirror as David gazes at her.
"David, have I thanked you yet for giving me away?" asks Kelly as she struggles with her veil.
"About a million times, Kel."
"Well, I'm saying it again anyway. I mean, after my dad got out of prison I really thought he'd go straight. Who knew he and Felice would end up together?"
"And married!" laughs David.
"I know. Poor Donna. Her dad wasn't dead 3 months before they hooked up. Yuck. Anyway, if my dear old dad can't take time out of his 6th honeymoon to give me away, then who needs him? Besides," she says, motioning for David to come help her, "you're family, too, right?"
"Right." Kelly looks at the two of them in the mirror.
"Can you believe that the first time we met you were just this little pimply-faced freshman who listened to too much rap?"
"And who was totally in love with you."
"I know. Wasn't that crazy?" Kelly says obliviously. "Who would have thought we'd become brother and sister?"
"You're not my sister, Kel." David says as she runs his hand up the back of the dress.
"Uh," she gulps, "I know, David. But we're like brother and sister. Right?" David doesn't say anything. He just stares at her reflection in the mirror.
"David? David?"
"You know…I never stopped loving you, Kel. Not when I was with Donna, or Val, not even when I thought you were dead."
"Oh, David. That's sweet. Really, it is. Now, can you help me with those buttons?" David's eyes glass over as he fumbles with the tiny buttons on the back of the dress.
"I…just wanted you to know that," David whispers sadly. "I…didn't…think you—" Kelly whips around to face him, causing the dress to fall loosely to the floor.
"Now…can you help me with these?"
Steve sits on Brandon's old bed, carefully studying the ring box that he as best man was sworn to protect.
"Almost ready, brother?" Brandon says as he adjusts his tuxedo cummerbund. Steve is quiet. "Hey man, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were more nervous than I am."
"It's just so weird, Brandon," Steve answers thoughtfully. "I mean, when we first met, I was still in love with Kelly, and here you are marrying her." Brandon sits down on the bed and pats his bud on the back.
"Do you have a problem with that?"
"No, of course not. I just feel like…like I'm being left behind."
"But you're doing great! You finally got Val out of your hair, the Beat is doing well because of you, and you met…uh…uh—"
"Janet!"
"Janet, and now you have a wife and kid. What more could you want?" Steve looks into his best friend's eyes and, without warning, leans in.
"Dude!" Brandon yells, putting his hand out firmly to
stop him. He stands up and backs away. Then, after a second, he whispers,
"Lock the door."
Dylan sits in his car fidgeting while on-again/off-again girlfriend Gina waits for him to get out.
"Are we ever gonna get out of this car, Dylan?" Gina sighs.
"Hey, I'm not stopping you." Dylan puts on his sunglasses and continues to caress the door handle. Gina shrugs.
"You know Dylan, I don't get you. You've had like, what, two wives since you were with Kelly, and yet you still can't get her out of your head! Isn't that kinda sick?"
"Gina, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just not ready to go in yet, that's all. Just leave it alone, aiiight?" Gina shoves her car door open.
"Ya know, I can get David back any time I want. I bet I could even steal that scrawny Brandon away from Kelly if I tried. I don't know why I bother with you."
"Maybe because I'm rich!" he screams after her. She slams the door shut and stomps away with the wedding present under her arm. He laughs to himself and pulls a paper bag from the backseat of the car.
"Here's to you, Kel," he whispers, holding up a shining new bottle of Scotch. "May you two rot in hell." Before he can take a swig the car door opens again.
"Dammit, Gina! I'm not in the mood for makeup sex, yet!" A woman gets in the car.
"Who the hell is Gina!"
"My God," gulps Dylan. "What are you doing here, Brenda?"
"I think everyone's here," Jim Walsh says to his wife as they survey the backyard. "I guess we can start."
"Well, where's Steve and Brandon?" Cindy asks. As if on cue, the groom and best man emerge from the back door, looking very strange. She calls them to her.
"Brandon, where were you? It's almost that time," Cindy says cheerfully. "You remember Father McGinley," she says, indicating the priest standing next to her. He offers his hand to Brandon.
"Yes, of course," Brandon says nervously. "Thank you again for agreeing to marry me and Kel."
"It's the least I could do," says the priest, "seeing as I married your best man, here. How's the little wife, Steve?" Steve turns pink and shakes hands like a robot.
"I'm doing great," Janet says, startling her husband. "And so is Maddie." Janet takes the baby out of the front-loading papoose as she, the priest, and Cindy fawn over Maddie. Steve and Brandon fidget.
"Maddie just loves her daddy, doesn't she?" Janet chatters as she pushes the baby in Steve's face. "Steve is really getting the hang of this, Father. He's attentive and loyal…and straight—"
"What are you accusing me of? Get off my back woman!" Steve makes a hasty exit. Brandon blushes and goes after his best man.
"I was just going to say straight-out the best
darn father I've ever seen. I guess he can't take a compliment."
At precisely 2 PM, Jim Walsh nods to the string quartet band, and they start the music. Everyone quickly quiets down and takes a seat. Jim and Cindy sit in front on one side, Kelly's mother and David's father on the other. All attention turns to a floral awning through which the wedding party will soon enter. Erin, Kelly and David's little sister, stands at the front of the bridal procession wearing a very cute floral dress with flowers in her hair. On cue she starts down the path between the chairs, tossing flowers on the ground. Inside the house the rest of the bridal party gets ready.
"Well, Kel, you did it. You finally won," Val says sincerely.
"It's not about winning, Val." Kel says. "Brandon and I were meant for each other. I've never believed anything more than that."
"I know that now." Val wipes a tear from her eye and hugs Kelly, who looks stunned. "Shut up, weddings always get me. Oh, fuck it!" Val takes her bouquet and starts her way down the path.
"I guess this is it," David sighs. "Once they start that 'Here comes the bride' song, there's no going back." Kelly looks up at her stepbrother.
"I know, David. This is what I want. Please be happy for me."
"I am happy for you. Just promise me one thing," David says as he turns to face the door, taking Kelly's arm. "Promise me we'll do that again sometime."
"Huh?" Just then that familiar tune drones out through the backyard and David quickly pulls Kelly's veil over her face and leads her to the awning. Everyone stands up.
"Here we go," whispers David. Kelly smiles when she sees Brandon at the other side of the yard, grinning from ear to ear. Slowly she and David walk in step towards the groom. She sees Steve's wife and baby on the right near the back. Gina sits a few rows up, looking very bored while trying to chat up Matt Durning. Kelly fights to hold back tears of happiness when she sees Nat and Joanie on the other side, sitting together as man and wife, for the first time in public and out of their wheelchairs. Even the sight of plain-clothes security agents with wires in their ears can't keep Kelly from smiling. As she comes but a few steps from her destiny, Kelly sees Dylan in the second row—with Brenda—holding hands. She pauses for a second.
"What's the matter?" David whispers to Kelly.
"Noth…nothing." David takes her to the front, removes her veil, and kisses her on the cheek.
"Thank you, David," Kelly whispers.
"No…thank you," he says with a grin. He sits down next to his dad and Brandon takes his place.
The priest begins. "Dearly beloved." Just then, the woman at the piano hammers loudly on the keyboard. Everyone turns in the direction of the musicians, who look as surprised as the guests. The woman stands up and grabs a microphone.
"We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life." She approaches the wedding party, gesticulating wildly about the arms. "Electric word, life, it means forever, and that's a mighty long time. But I'm here to tell you, there's something else—the afterworld." She chuckles. "Sorry, I couldn't resist." She then removes a wig and sunglasses to reveal Victoria Virelli.
"Dammit!" screams Kelly. "Can't I ever have anything?" Brandon quickly steps in between Kelly and Victoria. The security men begin to close in on her, but stop in their tracks when they see her pull something out of her purse.
"That's right," Victoria says as she brandishes a gun, "it's me. Brandon's first wife. For some reason I never received my invitation to this shindig. All I got were final divorce papers."
"Who let in Maleficent?" cracks Gina from the back. Victoria doesn't miss a beat.
"Later for you, hoochie mama. I've got a score to settle." She approaches Kelly, but stops when Noah Hunter and a small army of policemen and FBI agents rush in from all sides.
"Drop it now, Virelli!" Noah screams as they pull their weapons on her. "You're surrounded. I don't know how the hell you got past security—"
"You call this security? One flash of tit and I was in here like Flint. Besides, half these guys are on my payroll anyway." Victoria admits. Some of the ear-wired security men nervously shift weight.
"I said drop it, Victoria!"
"Or what? You gonna take me in for questioning? We all know how that turned out last time!" Everyone, including the police and agents, try to stifle a chuckle. Noah is not amused.
"I was set up!" yells Noah, though he in unable to convince the crowd. "That tape was fake. I'm gonna prove it, if it takes the rest of my law enforcing life!"
"Whatever, teeny-peeny, I just came here to see my hubby." Victoria turns to the bride and groom. "Now, Brandon, tell me. I gotta know. How can you prefer this bimbo over me?"
"Stop it, Victoria," Brandon shouts. "It's over. We're over. I'm marrying Kelly, and you can't do a thing to stop us. I never loved you, and I felt guilty about that at first. But now I feel nothing for you." She fights to keep from looking hurt.
"Really? Do you feel something for Steve? Or rather, did you feel something on Steve just a few minutes ago?" Brandon turns white. Steve clutches his stomach, and Val nearly doubles over with laughter.
"Brandon…what…what is she talking about?" Kelly says.
"Nothing, Kel. She's sick! You're sick, Victoria!"
"Yeah, but Brandon, what does she mean?"
"Kelly, don't pay attention to her. Just get her outta here, please!" Brandon yells to Noah.
"Don't worry, Kelly. I haven't forgotten you." Victoria moves closer and points the gun at Kelly's head. The guests squeal, but Kelly looks unfazed. "I know you were upset that your dad wasn't here to give you away, so you looked to David for a little brotherly attention. Tell me—did he give you something old, something new, something borrowed, or something huge?" Both Brandon and Dylan look at David, who lowers his head. Kelly turns white.
"That little sucker," Dylan says under his breath. Brenda elbows him.
Brandon looks confusedly at Kelly. "Kel?"
"Oh my god…Brandon, listen."
"Was I not supposed to say that?" Victoria laughs so hard that she doubles over, allowing Noah to easily seize her. He grabs her and easily takes the gun.
"Aw, c'mon man! It was only a cigarette lighter!" Noah clamps a pair of handcuffs on her, but she doesn't put up much of a fight. "I wasn't gonna hurt her, even if she does deserve to die!" screams Victoria.
"That's enough out of you. Let's go, Virelli!" Noah starts to escort Victoria out, but Brandon stops him.
"Wait Noah! I want her to see this." Brandon turns to Kelly. "Kelly Taylor, I've made some huge mistakes in my life. Marrying her for example. Running away when I should have stayed here and fight for us. Drinking acid-spiked punch at a rave in the mountains. But the one thing that I will never, ever regret in this lifetime is my love for you. We've been through so much together, and it's only made me love you more. You're my best friend, my confidante, and my pillar of strength. Whatever you may or may not have done in the past makes no difference to me. I want to be married to you forever." Everyone, even Victoria, is moved to tears.
"Oh…Brandon," Kelly says through tears, "I feel the same way. I've made a lot of mistakes, too. Remember…remember when I was on drugs? And, and that disastrous page boy haircut? And that time I sent naked picture of you to Playgirl magazine—"
"What?"
"Nevermind. Anyway, the point is, I want to be married to you for the rest of my life. I don't care about my past anymore," she says, looking right at Dylan. "All that is just a memory. You are my present and my future, and whatever you may or may not have done in the past makes no difference to me." Steve and Brandon simultaneous breathe a sigh of relief.
"Wow," says Victoria. "I've been such a fool. It's so obvious that you two were meant for one another." She wipes a tear from her eye. "How could I have ever loved such a wuss?"
Brandon looks at Victoria, then at Noah. "Get this crazy bitch outta here."
"Let's go, Virelli. I think I'll take you in all by myself." Everyone applauds as Noah leads Victoria and her henchmen towards the waiting FBI cars dotting the street.
"Well," starts the priest after a very long and silent pause, "who wants to get married?" Everyone enjoys a laugh. The priest looks at the couple and asks for the rings, which Val and Steve eagerly offer.
"Brandon, do you take Kelly to be your wife?" Brandon looks deeply into Kelly's eyes.
"I do." Somewhere in the last row, Andrea Zuckerman blows her nose.
"And do you, Kelly, take Brandon to be your husband?"
"I do." Dylan reaches for a bottle in his jacket, but Brenda's pump heel on his toe stops him.
"Then, if there aren't any more objections," the priest
says semi-mockingly, but with a very loaded pause, a pause long enough
for Kelly to throw a sharp look at Val and David and for Brandon to throw
a sharp look at Dylan and Steve. "I now pronounce you man and wife. You
may kiss." Brandon and Kelly smile at each other, the afternoon sun reflecting
in their perfect teeth nearly blinding those in the front row. They kiss.
Val sobs. Steve sobs. Dylan holds back a sob. Somewhere in San Francisco
a black-clad, pill-popping Emily Valentine sobs.
On a deserted road somewhere in the hills of Beverly, Noah pulls his car over, having quickly left behind the rest of the entourage with some fast driving. He looks at his handcuffed prisoner with pride.
"I got you now, and I'll get the rest of your crime-infested family. You think you can just get away with attempted murder, extortion, assault, and fraud? No way, not on my watch. You're going down for real this time, Virelli," Noah says. "I'm gonna make sure of that." A smile creeps across Victoria's face.
"No, Cap'n Noah. It's you who's goin' down this time." Victoria lifts her arms up and shakes her unlocked, toy handcuffs free, grabs Noah by the back of the head and shoves her tongue down his throat. After a minute of tawdry kissing, he breaks free.
"What was with that 'teeny-peeny' remark?" he says with a smile.
"As if you don't know." Victoria laughs hysterically and
pushes her lover's head in her lap.
The wedding reception runs on well into the late afternoon. Everyone dances to the couple's favorite requests—"Endless love", "Islands in the stream", "Welcome to the jungle", just to name a few. The bride and groom slow dance in the center of the crowd.
"Can you believe we're finally married?" Kelly asks her new husband. "After all we've been through. It's really happening."
"Yep."
"So…uh, not that it matters, but…what…did…you and…uh…Steve—"
"Sssh, Kelly. Don't worry your pretty little head about it. You'll have enough to worry about soon enough, when I get you pregnant."
"What?"
Dylan and Gina dance together over by the bar. Dylan is paying more attention to both Kelly and Brenda, who is dancing with Matt.
"Yo! Earth to Dylan. You're being very rude to me," Gina says.
"You don't like it, you can always move out of our hotel room," he says nonchalantly.
"I already moved out, you asshole! You didn't even notice! I hate you!" Gina says, stomping on Dylan's already sore toe. She storms away and cuts in on Matt.
"Excuse me, but I need to dance with a real gentleman," Gina says, shoving Brenda out of the way. "You can have Dylan back—I broke him in for ya." Brenda starts to say something, then bites her lip and leaves.
"What is it with Dylan?" Matt asks. "All the women in this town fight over him."
"He's very well endowed," Gina answers.
"That's right, I'd heard he's filthy rich."
Gina looks over at Dylan and sighs. "Yeah…that too."
"Oh!" laughs Matt. "That explains it then." Gina smiles at the lawyer playfully.
"But he doesn't have your charm and style." Matt blushes.
"It's all in the sweater vests."
Brenda motions for Dylan to join her in a dance. "I guess we really need to talk soon," she says.
"I suppose. Now that you're back, we can finally decide what to do with this mess of a marriage," Dylan says. Brenda suddenly looks startled.
"Are you saying…you want a divorce, Dylan?"
"Bren, you've been gone a year. I've had sex with quite a few women since then!"
"So?" Brenda says casually. "You think I haven't?"
"Well—huh?"
She laughs. "I'm kidding. I know we've been apart a long time. But I'm ready to make it work with us. If you are." Dylan looks into his wife's eyes for a long time.
"Really, Bren?"
"Really." Dylan smiles and pulls his wife tightly to him as they dance. "By the way," Brenda whispers, "you…still…have all that money, right?"
"Steve," Janet says as they change their baby in the upstairs
bedroom, "I couldn't hear that well from where I was sitting, but it sounded
like that horrible Victoria person said something about you."
"Nah, you must have heard her wrong."
"Oh…because I think I overheard Val saying something about it, too."
"Victoria is a freak. She needs some serious dosages of whatever Silver used to be on, and even then she'd be a loon." Janet looks unconvinced. "Trust me, honey. I'd never do anything to hurt you or Minnie."
"Maddie, Steve! Your daughter's name is Maddie!" Janet picks up the baby stomps out of the room defiantly.
Steve looks out the window, defeated. "Shit."
"Nice wedding huh, David?" Val asks as they slow dance to the latest Celine Dion ballad. David is too absorbed with gazing out into space to answer. Val nudges him. "She belongs with Brandon, you know."
"I know. "
"Hey," Val says, perking up. "I know what'll cheer you up. Want me to ask the band to play some gangsta rap?" David isn't fazed, and Val gets madder. "Give it up, David. Are you gonna pine after Kelly your whole life?"
"It's not Kelly I'm thinking about," David says.
"Well then who?" Suddenly the music stops and Kelly's mother grabs the microphone.
"Ok, single ladies. It's bouquet throwing time." She sips her champagne, in which she looks to have already overindulged. "All single ladies over here," she says, waving her arms. "Although personally I think the whole marriage thing is a waste of time."
"Mom, shut up!" Kelly yells at her.
"They just get sick of your cellulite and cheat on you with a dental hygienist," she continues loudly. "Or some other young slut. Am I right?" She looks over at Nat and Joanie. "Am I right?"
"Ok, Mom, enough!" Kelly grabs the microphone and pushes her mother into a nearby chair. "Please excuse my mother," Kelly says. "She just turned 49…again. Anyway, can I have all the single ladies over here!" Everyone looks around, and with a bit of poking and shoving, Val, Gina, little Erin, and a few other single female wedding guests make a line behind Kelly.
"Is everyone ready?" Kelly says laughing as she turns her back to the women.
Val grabs Gina's arm and says in her ear "Don't even try it. That thing is mine, bitch."
Gina laughs. "Only if you can get that caboose of yours in the air, which I seriously doubt."
Kelly signals the band for a drumroll. "Ok! One…two—"
"Wait! What about me?" Everyone stops and turns around. There, standing in front of the 5-tier wedding cake, is Donna. Her hair is long and its original color. She is wearing a very simple, off-the-rack dress and shoes, and looks calmer and more at peace than she ever has.
"Donna!" yells Kelly. "When did you get here?"
"How did you get here?" shouts David excitedly.
"How did you get out?" Val says.
Donna smiles and raises her hand. "Later, everyone. I'm just glad I got here in time to see my best friends get married." Brandon, who has by now joined Kelly behind the microphone, takes his wife's hand.
"It's great to see you, Don." He says.
"Yeah, great having you back," adds Dylan.
Gina raises her hand. "Are you gonna want your share of Dad's estate now? Because, you know, I had a few gambling debts, and, you know, momma needed her some new clothes."
Donna interrupts her. "It doesn't matter, Gina. That's in the past." She looks around at everyone. "That's why I came back. To apologize to everyone. I had a lot of problems before I left. And then my dad died, and my mom remarried, and finding out Gina was my sister—"
"Gina's your sister!" David says surprisingly. He covers his face with his hands. "I did it with sisters?"
"That's right, David." Donna says. "I'm being completely
honest with everyone from now on. It's part of my probation—I mean, treatment.
I want to make amends."
David thinks to himself, then smiles. "I did it with
sisters!" he whispers proudly.
"Are you safe to be around?" Steve asks. "'Cause, I got a kid now."
"Yes, Steve, I'm ok," laughs Donna. "I'm great! That's why I want to make peace with everyone. Steve, I'm sorry for screwing you in the Peach Pit in order to make Nat jealous."
"Bastard!" Janet says under her breath. Steve bows his head.
Donna turns to Kelly. "Kel, I'm sorry I told everyone you were a slut in high school."
"I thought that was Steve?" Kelly says.
"Oh, yeah, that's right. It was Steve." Donna says.
"Asshole!" Janet says as she kicks Steve.
"Valerie, Gina," Donna says, "I'm sorry I wasn't a better friend and cousin/sister. But I really never liked either of you anyway."
"Whatever," Gina and Val say in unison, making their hands into "w"s.
"David. Oh, my sweet David. I'm sorry I let Nat come between us. I'm sorry I let my overpowering, animalistic desire for Nat's raw sexual energy sway me from your…simplicity. I'm sorry I let my need for unkempt passion color my love for you. I'm sorry I was tempted by Nat's huge—"
"I get it, I get it!" David yells.
"And Nat. Where is Nat?" Everyone turns around to find Nat and Joanie limping away on their matching canes towards the cars. "There you are!"
"Stay away from us, Martin! The court order says you can't be within 50 feet of us!" Nat screams at her.
"Nat…Joanie…I just want to tell you that I'm sorry. I was…wait." Donna takes out an official-looking piece of paper. "I was 'temporarily insane, clinically depressed, and potentially suicidal.'" She folds the paper. "I know I can never make up for the pain I've caused your family. The only thing I can do is try to live my life to the best of my ability, and hope that, someday, the right combination of medications can be proscribed." Nat and Joanie pause, then start back towards the wedding, arm in arm.
"Great! I'm free!" Donna says. Everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief and starts to mingle again. "Oh, wait everyone! There's someone I want you all to meet." Donna goes off behind the large pile of wedding gifts and returns with something in her arms. It's a baby.
"Sweetie," she says to the infant as she holds it up for the flabbergasted crowd to see, "these are my closest and dearest friends in the entire world." She looks out to the crowd. "Everybody, this is Donatello Versace Lacroix Martin. Or as I call him, Nat, Jr."