Part 5: All through the night...
Banjo paced the floor. In front of him, walked. In front of him, waddled Bottles. In front of Bottles, Tooty skip-walked, following Banjo. After Kazooie had passed out, they had rushed to the nearest hospital, where she had been admitted to the ER. Now, she was in ICU (Intensive Care Unit), and Banjo, Tooty, Bottles and Mumbo awaited some news, although the latter two would rather have had their teeth pulled than admit to Kazooie that they had paced the hospital floor for fear of her safety. Afterall, Kazooie had this bad habit of holding things like that over people's heads like a one ton weight. After about an hour of this parade, a nurse opened the door.
"Well, I'm Nurse Agnes and-" she began, but was rudely interrupted.
"What happen to bird?!"
"Is she alive?!"
"Will she make it?!"
"Is Kazooie okay?!"
The woman had to cover her ears or risk going deaf. "OKAY!! I have only ONE pair of ears today (and every other day, for that matter). Your very good friend-" She paused at a few half embarrassed looks from Bottles and Mumbo. "-has a fifty-fifty chance. The first night is always the hardest, though- if she makes it through , she'll definitely make it. You can see her-" Nurse Agnes barred the door and glared. "-but you have to be QUIET!"
Bottles looked at her. "Well?"
"Well what?" said the nurse.
"MOVE OUT-"
"Shhhh!"
"Sorry. Will you move out of the way?"
She VERY hesitantly allowed the group to pass.
It was a very strange thing to see Kazooie lying down so quietly in the hospital bed, wrapped in bedclothes. The very same hyper-active Kazooie who had once given Banjo a headache with her beak, and, as Bottles put it, "Made Advil and Tylenol a fortune." The same Kazooie who was always threatening to "stick Mumbo wand somewhere." and who had once tried to give Tooty swimming lessons by shoving her unceremoniously into the waterfall on Spiral Mountain- yes, THAT Kazooie- looked so peaceful and vulnerable sleeping there, she could almost have passed for innocent-looking. Well... almost. The doctor, Doctor Pup, (quite unoriginal since he was a golden retriever) entered, laden with charts.
"So basically what we have is-" he held up an x-ray picture "- if you'll see here, several ribs have been broken. Her left lung was pierced, and we had to remove several pieces of shrapnel from her. She definitely has some internal damage." he winced in his mind remembering the two inch piece of pottery he removed from the breegull's back. "If she makes it through tonight, she'll definitely live... but remember, there's always a change that... what I'm trying to say is..."
"Stop trying and say it!" said Bottles. Everyone looked at him in shock, but the doctor seemed not to have noticed. He quieted the group down with four words:
"prepare for the worst."
It was midnight. Tooty and Banjo were the only ones awake so far, an extremely rare occurrence. Banjo couldn't help feeling the irony: that every morning, Kazooie was always awake, and he was always sleeping, and now, the roles had been quickly reversed. Banjo stared up at the clock again: about one minute after the time he had last checked it. Four hours. Four hours sitting down, anxiously watching Kazooie's body to see if it would move. Fat chance, though, since Dr. Pup had given Kazooie just enough anaesthetic to send an elephant to dreamland. The worst part was, she probably needed it. Her left wing was bandaged, and so was her chest. A plastic tube lead to a plastic cup over her beak. A heart monitor let out an annoying beep every two seconds. Another minute passed.
Whatever Banjo had been drinking to stay awake all that time ran out, leaving Tooty as the only one awake. 1 am. Kazooie still hadn't awaken, although it wasn't too possible that she would any time soon. A nurse entered, looked at the monitor, wrote something on a notepad and left. Her eyes were glazed over, much like someone who had been existing on coffee and managed to do chores without actually being awake. 2 am... 3 am.... ZZzzzz.... Tooty didn't stay awake long enough to see 4 am.
That morning, Kazooie managed to pull herself out of the sleep which she had been totally engulfed in. "I... feel... like... $#^$." were the first words out of her beak. A nurse was very quietly watching her. At this, Kazooie attempted to sit up and learned an important lesson: broken ribs and sudden movements don't mix. "What... the...?"
"Good Morning!" chirruped Nurse Joy (No, not THAT Nurse Joy and you know it). "You must rest!"
"Fair enough..." said Kazooie, and re-entered sleep. Nurse Joy gently woke the others.
"It's morning! Time to wake up!" Mumbo awoke.
"Urgh. Who wake Mumbo?!"
"I'm Nurse Joy!"
Tooty rubbed her eyes. "I thought you were at the Pokem-"
"Oh, sure! Give HER all the credit! There are other nurses named Joy, you know!!! I should have been in Pokemon- ME!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! I SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN POKEMON!!!! Beware Nintendo, I plot my revenge!!!!" Nurse Joy ran off, cackling maniacally.
Bottles shrugged. "OoooKAAAY... Who rung HER bell?"
"To tell the truth, I have no idea," said Banjo circling his finger around his head.
The not-as-joyful Nurse Agnes from yesterday entered the room and sighed. "Oh, dear... Nurse Joy has snapped again. Tenth time this week."
Banjo nodded.
"Oh, your friend? She's alive, so she'll live. However, I suggest you leave and let the patient rest. Now if you'll excuse me," she said, loading a tranquilizer gun, "I must retrieve Nurse Joy."
A few minutes later, Banjo, Mumbo, Bottles and Tooty left, went to their respective homes and did their respective morning activities. However, Banjo returned to the hospital that afternoon, carrying with him a rather thick book.
"Hello, Kazooie," said Banjo, setting the chair by the bed. Kazooie looked at him, then at the food in her tray. She was supposed to be eating it, unfortunately. So far, Nurse Agnes (who did not retrieve Nurse Joy, by the way) had already threatened to stuff it down her beak about three times for the afternoon. Banjo noticed the food as well. "Whatcha eating?"
Kazooie poked it with a plastic fork. "I think it's plaster from the ceiling combined with that putrid milk behind the fridge and glazed with the contents of the toilet."
The bear raised an eyebrow. "Oh. In other words, it's hospital food."
"Exactly."
"So how are you fee-"
"If you know what's good for you, fur-ball, you won't ask."
The bear nodded. Cheerful as always, that Kazooie. "Bottles, Mumbo and Tooty stayed with you during the night. You had us all worried."
"How touching. Just wait 'till I meet up with them-"
"Kazooie! They were really worried!"
"Sorry." Banjo looked up at the TV and turned it off, noting the news reports: "A woman named Nurse Joy Petrowski has been arrested for attempting to plant a bomb in the home of Mr. Shigeru Myamoto."
Kazooie looked up at him. "What'd you do that for?"
"I want to read you something." Kazooie made a face.
"I'm not really in the mood to hear-"
Banjo exposed a red and white box. "Kentucky Fried Beetles."
Kazooie looked from the box to the tray on her lap. With her good wing, Kazooie shoved the tray under the bed. "Read."
"Somehow, I knew you'd say that!" He showed Kazooie the the book he was holding. It read,
"Kimberly Shanice Real: The Real SLIM Heroine (1934-1950)" Kazooie raised an eyebrow. "Now I KNOW you buy too much garbage. Eminut was-"
"-Killed fifty years ago. I'll tell you later." Banjo opened the book to the first page and read,
"Kimberly Shanice Real was born on the 5th of August, 1934 to Mr. Sandon Real and Shannon Real. From the time of her birth, it was known that Kimberly would one day be a great hero, just like her mother, who also died defending her country. By her thirteenth birthday, Kimberly was already spying under Social Lobbyist for Independent Minds (SLIM), an organization fighting the dictatorship under which Spiral Mountain used to be ruled...."
~Epilogue~
Ah, the eva-lovin', eva-tellin' epilogue. Here it comes!
Banjo eventually finished reading "Kimberly Shanice Real: The Real SLIM Heroine" to Kazooie. Kazooie left the hospital several months later, and was soon reasonably back to normal, except that she now knew something about Spiral Mountainian history. Neither Bottles nor Mumbo ever admitted to having visited Kazooie in the hospital. Afterall, they had reputations to keep. The puppy with wings (a.k.a the avianine) won a story-telling contest with the story, "The Tale of the Strange Red Miss Who Only Had Two Legs". Nurse Agnes was hired by Rareware to shoot rabid animals, for some unknown reason. Doctor Pup performed his first open-heart surgery and earned millions. Nurse Joy (I said, not THAT Nurse Joy- Joy Petrowski!) made millions and went on Opera with a book entitled, "How Nurse Joy from Pokemon Ruined My Life". And the mysterious girl from Banjo's past? Nyah, nyah, I'm not telling!
{Author's Notes: You'll notice that I never DID say whether or not Kazooie was jealous or wary of Kimberly. Maybe Kazooie loves Banjo, maybe not. Frankly (I believe, that is), if Kazooie had a crush on Banjo, she probably would never say. So this'll have to be one of those "Tootsie Roll" things: the world may never know.}