The Remembered

Saber Tooth

Chapter 2

I didn't sleep that night.

I hadn't done much the day before, so I wasn't tired. And I didn't want the dreams to come. The dreams that always came. It didn't matter if I went one dreamless night, they would just be twice as bad the next. And all the while, Drode's words pounded around my brain like a spin cycle. The Ellimist did it, the Ellimist did it, the Ellimist did it...
I didn't believe the foul creature in the least. He'd do anything to make me join his side. At least now I don't have to take the Crayak up on that offer. To kill Jake. He already did it. But if I didn't believe the big red cornea, what was that nagging doubt in the back of my mind, saying He's right Rachel. The Ellimist used you, he used you all. You knew this was bound to happen. You knew a meddling creature like that was bound to be the death of us.
Nonsense! I snapped back at myself. The Ellimist helped us! If it weren't for him, we'd be dead!
Perhaps. But why did he help you? Was it in your best interest? No, he helped you because he was helping himself. Poor, naïve little Rachel. Ha. Even the voice in the back of my head thought I was a moron.

And that's a bad thing.

After hours of debating with myself whether or not to tell my friends about yesterday's encounter, I finally decided against it. By then, the sun was peeking out over the horizon. I decided since I wasn't going to get any sleep anyways, I might as well get p early and make myself useful. I dressed quickly, with clothing the Ellimist provided us all with. He had turned each of our caves into our own personalized bedrooms. It wasn't exactly roughing it, like I'd expect.
And the thing is, it was a nice sweater, too. Very fashionable.

I walked out of my cave into the brisk morning air, only to see a figure squatting low right in front of the wall between my cave and Cassie's, looking up at the sky.
"Cassie?" I asked. "Is that you?"
She stood up and laughed. "Of course. What other farm girl do you know that would get up at the butt-crack of dawn every morning, just to look at the sunrise?"
I forced a smile. "Good point." I looked away and bit my lower lip. I brushed back my hair, trying to get into some kind of order, when Cassie noticed my fingernails, chewed down to the actual tips of my finger. (Considering how long my nails usually are, that's short.) I had been biting them, a bad habit I had developed since, well, that day. The day at the Yeerk pool where my whole world fell apart. My family, the Yeerks had gotten them. All except Jordan, and we assumed the worst. As long as you hope, there's a good chance that your hopes will be crushed.
"Rachel, you're not still blaming yourself, are you?" Damn. She got it. Again. I swallowed and looked up.
"I have to, Cassie. It was my fault. They were my family, and I could have saved them. Do you hear me? I could have saved them, dammit!" I was screaming now. "Then that no good Ellimist had to come along, and --" I clamped my mouth shut, and blinked away tears.
Cassie put her hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "And what?" she whispered. "It's okay, Rachel. It's me, Cassie. Remember? I'm your best friend. You can tell me." I broke down then and there.
Yes, me, Rachel. I cried. I cried like a baby. I cried for all the things there were to cry about.
I cried for Elfangor. For Jake. For Alloran, trapped, as the only Andalite-Controller. I cried for me, for all of us who had been pulled into this stupid war. Me, Cassie, Marco, Tobias. Even Ax. I cried for the free Hork-Bajir, never to see their world again. Never to go home. I cried for all the people that had been enslaved or killed by the Yeerks.

I don't know how long we stood there, my head on Cassie's shoulders, sobbing into her jacket. It may have been a minute. For all I knew, it may have been years.
Basically, I cried for everyone in all the worlds, ignorant, not knowing what awaits them. By the time I finished, the sun was fully up. I was drained. Emptied of tears.

Now I was tired. "Cassie," I whispered. I wanted to be a little girl again, not knowing fear, not knowing aliens or murder or death or war, or all the other horrible things we had experienced.
"Tuck me in for bed?" She walked inside with me, propped my pillows up, and tucked me in, like my mother used to. She even kissed me on the forehead, and I closed my eyes to keep from crying.

She stayed with me until I fell asleep.