Disclaimer: Guess what? I've written over 150kb of terrible fanfiction and I still own 0% (that's absolutely nothing, to the mathematically challenged) of Rareware, Nintendo or any Banjo-Kazooie/Tooie places or characters! And I still own Shadow, Sanjy, Slither, Buddy, and Matchooie! Isn't that wonderful?
PART 3: The Rescue Missions
Banjo looked around the noisy bar. The sounds of cursing filled the air, as the drunk became drunker, and the rich became richer (but more often poorer) by way of the gambling tables. Suddenly, a guy, a drunken turkey grabbed Kazooie by her wing and held her to him. Kazooie pecked his hand and the guy withdrew it in shock. "Come 'ere, lil chickie... hic"
"Leave her alone!" cried Banjo.
"Jeez, you're nuts! Go flush your head down a toilet, drunkie!"
"Kazooie! We're trying to blend in, remember?"
"Tell that to 'im!"
Banjo grabbed Kazooie firmly by her wing and led her away from the drunk turkey. "I'll buuuy ya fer a bug hic or two" he slurred. Kazooie's eyes swept the pub, looking for a clue, but Sanjy and Shadow had disappeared in the crowd. Suddenly, a red breegull caught her attention. Feelings of deja-vu came rushing to her, but she could not figure out who it was...
Frankie stared around at the pub. The biddings started in half an hour... he could see why Tildy wanted him to stake out the place. His eyes caught a red breegull in a beautiful white dress. He knew he had seen her before... somewhere.... but... she was probably one of the girls up for bids.
Banjo felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around. The hand was actually a wing, and the person was Shadow. "Look. You don't have much time- the show starts in half an hour. I think I might know where they might be keeping her, but-"
Kazooie's wing was grabbed roughly from behind. "What're ya do-"
"Leggo, ya ugly excuse for a breegull!!" The breegull let her go. She wasn't a girl up for bids, afterall. "You can't speak to me that way!"
"Oh yeah? I just did!" Kazooie turned her back and stomped away from the fuming breegull. Banjo motioned to Kazooie and followed Shadow. "Where's Sanjy?"
"She has... stuff to do."
"Oh." Banjo, Kazooie and Shadow walked towards a door. A small red light swept the ground before coming down on Shadow, who waited expectantly. In response, the door slowly creaked open into a huge hallway whose walls were made purely of metal.
**********************************
Traz sat in his prison cell. Although the heavy chains around his thin legs were hurting them, it was his mind that hurt the most... filled with thoughts of what could be happening to his sister. He hadn't eaten since he had left the hotel a day ago, but not even that kept him from thinking about Banjo and Kazooie. And the masked shaman... who knew what had happened to him. Suddenly, a strangely familiar voice shouted from above him. "It's YOU!!! The hulkin' balooka I played message-lizard for!!! Hey, you!" Traz looked around him. "Look up!!!" Traz did that. Above him was a green lizard, wearing a tiny metal ring around his tiny foot. "No way!! S-slither?"
"The one and only! What're ya in for?" The lizard dropped onto his head and climbed down. "Did you see any sign of any red, girl breegulls or bears or shamen around here?"
"I saw a red breegull, alright! But he ain't who you're lookin' for, seeing's how he was a HE! "
"Oh," said Traz, disappointed, "Well anyway, how'd you get here?!"
"First, lemme give ya a piece of advice- never drink the water 'ere! One sip 'n' I was off to dreamland! When I woke up, I was here! no word on what happened to my buddies, though. On a better note, I'd like ta formally introduce ya to a friend I met in one of these cells! He should be coming in a minute." Traz looked around. Suddenly, the floor came up into a hill before his eyes. A chubby mole in huge glasses pulled himself out of the hole in the floor and eyed Traz. Without any introduction, the mole exclaimed "He's perfect!"
"Perfect? For what, dump truck?"
"I'm Bottles, the short-sighted mole, and you're perfect for my newest move!"
"This guy carried around the weirdest stuff!" said Slither. "He has a thousand pads, shoes, et cetera! I could try ta name 'em all, but that'd take all night." The hyper-active lizard ran up the wall and looked at Traz from there. Bottles, however, fished around in his hole, muttering a long list of items. Finally, he held up a clear, pyramid-shaped cup or something. "When you put my super strong Beak-fortifiers on your beak, you can break through anything! But you can only use it three times."
Traz just looked at the little mole. "Ok. I'll do anything to get out of here, even if it's as crazy as that. Traz placed one on his beak, looked at the locks on his chains and took aim. Then he forcefully jammed his beak into one. It felt like he had pecked through a clump of sand and the lock was simply smashed into pieces. "Whoa! That's just wicked!!!"
Next, he took aim at the other lock. After it was broken, he rubbed his bruised ankles and stood up. He then took aim at the bars to his prison, and jammed his beak into one. Just like that, it broke and he found himself on the ground outside of his prison. The beak-cup then crumbled into dust.
"Hey! If you have all this stuff, AND you can dig, why are you still here?"
"This place is surrounded by a forcefield! And thanks to this-" he pointed to a metal chain on his ankle, "I can't go through! You haven't been marked, so it should be easy for you to escape! Get it?" Traz nodded. Slither climbed up on Traz's head. "Then let's go find your friends, shall we?" asked Slither.
"Your friends? A little bear named Tooty?"
"YES!!! Have you seen her?" asked Traz, anxiously.
"She was in one of these cells... I don't know what that old cackling greeny wants with her... she's too young to be worth anything in The Trade..." Traz swallowed and stared around. Bottles pointed him toward the direction of the cage and dug back down into his hole. Traz could do nothing but run off in that direction, a chatting lizard on his head.
**********************************
Frankie noticed the door shut close. No one was supposed to go in there. He put down the soda he had been drinking and pushed his way through the rowdy crowd. As the red laser hit him, he held up a metal disk. After reading it, the door slowly creaked open to expose.... nothing. Not one person. But Frankie knew the door had been disturbed... He held out his handgun and scanned the polished floors. There had to be someone in there...
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Kazooie stepped lightly, holding the bothersome dress above her thin, yellow feet. In the polished room, one door separated them from whatever mysteries were beyond. Banjo's paws were sweating with anticipation as Shadow stood infront of the door. Shadow looked at Banjo and Kazooie, but especially at Kazooie. The door slowly opened, exposing a row of empty cages. "Hello? Anyone in here?" asked Banjo, staring into the room. Shadow's body tensed. One scrap of fur told him that somebody had been in the room... But he knew that it was always cleaned, daily. Who knew why it was always kept so clean, and for that matter, who wanted to know? Banjo picked up the scrap of fur. It was brown and shiny, and held the faint smell of a familiar perfume... Kazooie picked up her long skirt and strode over to Banjo's side. "What is it?! We're wasting time looking at a hairball, furball?!"
"Kazooie... It's Sanjy's!"
"So what if her fur's falling out?"
Banjo knew that if he reacted to that, he could end up yanking every one of her feathers out. Shadow stared at the two friends... "The room's cleaned everyday. This was put here recently." He tried to keep his face neutral despite his racing heart, but the thought of something happening to his buddy was causing it to be lodged in his throat. "No one ever comes here during work hours... unless...."
"Unless what, Shadow?" asked Banjo, nervously. Shadow didn't look as if he had heard him. Kazooie covered her own fear with sarcasm. "Unless what, the aliens come?" Shadow didn't even flinch as he walked in long strides, his face devoid of emotion... like it had been on the night he and Kazooie had first met.
The silence was deafening, almost like a silent fuse about to explode. Suddenly, a barrage of arrows shot past the small group. "GET DOWN!!!!!" cried Shadow. Banjo, Kazooie and Shadow ducked the flight of arrows that tried to shishkabob them and crawled behind a corner. Finally, the uneasy quiet returned. Shadow cautiously slipped his head around the corner and looked down the corridor. No sign of what could have caused the attack. Banjo leaned heavily against the wall, panting more in shock than of exhaustion. Kazooie, naturally, couldn't go without opening her beak. "What a wonderful welcome, I wonder what other surprises they have?"
"You must be screwy, Kazooie!!!!" cried Banjo. "That wasn't wonderful, that was mean and scary!!!"
"Screwy Kazooie," muttered Shadow. He broke into a small smile. "C'mon... and watch out for more... surprises." They continued walking down the polished corridor. Further down, the corridor became less shiny and suddenly ended in a dirt road! Even the walls were really thick trees intertwined so that not even an ant could get through! Shadow looked at his companions, then at the trees. They were as still as statues {(the trees, wiseguys.)}, but they still seemed to be alive... Something curled around Banjo's food. "AHHH!!! IT'S GOT ME!!!!!"
Both Kazooie and Shadow stood there, watching both him and the tiny plant which had wrapped around his ankle. "Hey Banjo? I've heard of killer plants, but I think this one's innocent." Banjo looked down and untangled his foot from the plant. Kazooie, in the meantime, was rolling on the floor laughing at him. "Now who's screwy?" But as she laughed, two roots grew up from the ground and wrapped around her thin body! Her struggles and pecks forced the roots to retreat, but Kazooie didn't think Banjo's fright was so funny anymore. Shadow stared around at the trees. As a vine came down around his shoulders, he turned and whacked it. The wine broke and a drop of its sap fell onto his shoulder. It burned straight through his feathers and his skin! Shadow shouted out and grabbed his shoulder. Kazooie immediately ran to him. On his shoulder, a harsh, red burn was shaped in a perfect circle. "It's acid! The sap's acid!" cried Shadow, more out of shock than fright. Banjo was worried about the attacks from the now still trees. Out in the distance, he thought he saw something! Curious, he walked towards what revealed itself to be a cage, made out of... roots? But inside, a familiar person was lying down unmoving... Banjo could see her long, dark hair blowing in the wind... "SANJY!!!!!"
Banjo ran off as fast as he could towards her. "No, Banjo!!" cried Shadow. But as he and Kazooie ran off after Banjo, a thick wall of trees came up infront of them! Another wall of trees rose up, trapping them in a pitch dark, leafy cage. Banjo stopped and tried to use his backpack as a hammer to break them out, but it was no good. The only response was that a vine shot out of the cage and grabbed his backpack, pulling it in! He started to fight for it, but there was no time, as a vine was going towards the cage, towards Sanjy! He ran towards the cage, trying to reach her... but a giant vine came down and picked him up, tightening its grasp around him as he struggled. He couldn't breath, he realized- it was squeezing him to death. The vine lifted him higher off of the ground and squeezed even harder. Banjo felt the world begin to spin- he would be killed if this vine didn't let go of him! Banjo lifted his paw and slashed down into the vine. The vine's grip loosened, then tightened again. Banjo dug his sharp claws into the vine. The hot acid spilled onto his paw, burning it. But the vine had had enough- it dropped Banjo heavily on his back and decided to try burning him. It waved its vine over him, ready to spurt out acid. Banjo felt the world spinning, but he came to his senses just in time to roll out of the way of a huge glob of acid. Banjo picked up a stick and began to swipe at the vine. He chopped off great chunks of it, and after its sap was all over the place, it got tired of fighting and drew back.
Banjo looked at his burnt paw. It was entirely red and blistered, and he could hardly use it. Finally, he looked at the lock to the cage. Was there any way to break it open without spilling acid on Sanjy? As he thought, the roots suddenly dried up and shriveled to dust. Sanjy stirred and groaned, opening her eyes. "Sanjy! Are you ok?"
"Banjo... what happened?" Banjo helped her up by one paw. Sanjy noticed his burnt paw. "Banjo, how did you burn your hand?!"
"The sap from the trees burns!"
"Why'd you come for me? You could have been killed!"
Banjo didn't answer, but looked around the landscape. The leafy cage was gone- and so were his friends!
********************************
Kazooie stared around the dark cage. She could see nothing, not even her own bright yellow beak. Shadow felt his way around the cage, accidentally breaking a leafy branch. The acid burnt his wing, and he cried out. Kazooie tried to ram her way out, but all she did was unleash a glob of acid onto her wing. It burned, and she let out a loud cry. "The cages are lined with plants!" said Shadow.
"No, duh!!" said Kazooie through a gnashed beak. Shadow felt his way to her and felt her wing. There was a raw, blistered spot where there should have been feathers. Shadow held her wing in his and held her. Kazooie rested her head against his chest, and tried not to be too bothered about her dress. "Breegulls don't wear clothes..." she muttered.
"Then take it off. Just stop your complaining," he answered. Kazooie slipped it off over her head, and began preening her feathers. Then she leaned against him again. He allowed his wing to caress her back... but stopped when he felt the scars. They were all over her back, hidden by feathers. For such a young breegull, and she had such scars.... Shadow could tell that she wouldn't tell if he asked... and he knew how it felt to be beaten. If she wanted him to know, he would, in good time. Kazooie felt him stroke her back, and rub her feathers. It was soothing, and she relaxed against him completely. "Hey, Blackie... Why'd you give me this opal?"
"I dunno. Just keep it as a souveighner, I guess."
"A reminder of you?" she asked and grinned.
"Maybe.. or maybe you just look so beautiful in it..."
Something was shot through the cage, forming a round hole. Shadow looked out of the hole and cursed. Outside of the cage, a red-crested breegull and a group of goons were gathered in front, getting ready to stick something else through the cage. "Great. Goons. Kaz, you better-"
"Lemme at 'em! I take 'em all on! BREEE!!!!"
"KAZ! If we're gonna get outta this alive we can't let them know you're a girl!"
"And what'm I gonna do about that, Shady?!" Shadow stared at her for a few minutes, and looked around. "Wouldn't they think I was one of the club bimbos?"
"Yeah... even worse! They're supposed to be at the show!"
"What show?!" Shadow didn't bother to answer. He just tore the hem of her dress into a long strip and handed it to Kazooie. Kazooie rubbed off the make-up on the dress, and quickly threw it aside. She then looked around and looked for something to make her look more boyish. Her eyes landed on Banjo's backpack, which had been dropped there by the vine after it had taken it. Grabbing the backpack, she looked through it and found a baseball cap, books, her shades, Banjo's shades and... Knitting For Beginners? If Banjo was going crowd up her backpack, he could at least have crowded it with something useful... Anyway, it would make a good subject later...
Another knife shot through the cage. Then a voice said, "Step aside, idiots! They only respond to my clearance!" The cocky breegull pushed a small metal pendant into the plant, being very careful not to sever any of the branches. After a few seconds, the wall of plants broke into individual vines which sunk into the ground, leaving a black breegull, and a red breegull wearing black shades, a backwards baseball cap and a blue backpack which somehow seemed unnatural on the breegull's thin shoulders. "Hey you! What're you doin' here! Where're you supposed to be doin' duty?!"
Kazooie spoke up in her normal voice before Shadow had a chance to. "None of your business, Ugly gang!"
Shadow realized that Kazooie was going to spoil things, and did something about it- "Look, you. We're on our way to our post when your d@^% plants came along and messed up, bigtime! Unless you'd like to tell Tildy why I didn't report to sector 31 when she said to!" The red breegull didn't look too convinced, but let them pass anyway. "Hey you!" He pointed at Kazooie. "You sound funny- like a girl!"
Kazooie put on a deep man's voice. "Well go get hearing aids, Bigshot!"
"You wanna back that up, girly?!"
"Unless you're chicken, you pitiful excuse for a breegull!" with this last remark, the two breegulls went into a fighting stance and prepared to tear each other apart. But Shadow broke it up, and dragged Kazooie away from the other breegull. "Look, everyone! The little red hen's being pulled from the man's fight!"
Shadow felt Kazooie tense up at this remark. "I won't waste my time on little guys like you!" shot Kazooie. The onlookers seemed a bit disappointed at the loss of the fight, but quickly snapped out of it.
Shadow dragged Kazooie and gave her a mean look. "What?! He called me girly!!!"
"You were one, last time I checked." deadpanned Shadow. "Look. Banjo's countin' on us to rescue Tooty, not pick a fight with every idiot who comes along! What if he'd found out you really were a girl?!"
"He was already calling me one! Besides, I could've whupped his butt to Lylat if you hadn't stopped me!"
"Uh huh. But you've got to learn to shut your mouth, Little Scorp."
"Hmmph. I'll Little Scorp you-"
"Shh."
They went into a room with a few people milling around. Kazooie looked around, and for once, let someone else do the talking. Of course the fact that Shadow was secretly holding what felt like a point capable of causing much pain into her side might have had something to do with it...
*********************************
Macthooie awoke with a start... what had happened? Why was it so dark? Where was he.. then the realization of what had happened struck him. Of course. He wasn't at home. He was lying down on his back next a still unconscious Buddy. After Buddy picked up his sister's scent, Matchooie had flown down to investigate, found a safe landing place on a huge, flat-topped pipe, and gone back up to get Buddy. But as he was preparing to land, out of nowhere came an invisible force that had struck him right in the chest, almost like he had been hit by a speeding car. As he fell hard to the ground, a smooth, evil woman's voice had said something... about not interfering. He never heard the rest, for he had passed out. "What the heck have you gotten into, you guys?" he wondered.
Next to him, Buddy groaned and held his head... "I think I lost about two months."
"You ok, Buddy? Let me check you out."
"You mean practise on me, right?"
"That too."
"I smell... I smell... two breegulls... one male... one female... and two bears.... same age... one's male.. the other's female..." Their scents are freshest.... down below us... far down..."
"How far?!"
"I'm not too sure... Far." Buddy put his nose down. "What're they doin' down there, Matches?"
"Do I look like I can answer that?! !!" Matchooie strode over to the edge and looked down. "Are you sure you can do it, Matchstick?" wondered Buddy.
"Do what?"
"Carry me!" In response, Matchooie checked Buddy's leg and frowned. His ankle was sprained badly, and it had been slashed. After binding it up using the small first aid kit he had carried for some reason (doctor's instinct?), he reported, "You're hurt bad, Bud. I don't want to risk you. You stay here, and I'll go."
"Wha? And miss out on all the action?! No way!"
"Doctor's orders, Bud." Buddy stood up and held his head. He was just barely standing, Matchooie noticed. Buddy bravely ignored the pain and thought. What would get Matchooie to change his mind... "Well, if you're gonna leave me here... ALL ALONE... In the DARK... where ANYTHING can just come and EAT ME..."
"Shut up, Bud. You're NOT going anywhere." Buddy collapsed in disappointment on the ground. But another, riskier idea was forming. Matchooie tossed Buddy a flashlight. "Here... and I hope you taste good," wisecracked Matchooie. Buddy watched him fly off. Then, he sniffed. Below him, there was a collection of water. It was on a platform, he could tell. If he could get to that platform... But the problem was, it was too far away... The fall would probably kill him, or wound him seriously. He sniffed again. There was a pipe... one that he could probably climb down, but did he have the strength? Matchooie was right... for now. He would rest up and consider it later.
Matchooie reached the ground, where a red curtain was set up as a "door" to what seemed to be a club. He stepped inside, and just missed being hit by a glass bottle. The walls were dirty and the round tables were either overturned or seating drunk, rowdy gangster and gambling. His keen eyes were drawn to the stage. A line of girls of all species were chained by their ankles. Some were quietly huddling together, some crying, others staring at the crowd in defiance. A few guys dressed in normal clothes were cleaning the mess caused by brawls, and serving drinks at the bar. Matchooie gaped at the scene. The announcer grabbed a girl roughly by her arm and brought her up to the front. She struggled and pulled back, pecking his hand. In response, the announcer slapped her across her face, laughing as she withdrew "Feisty one! " he said, and slapped her a second time. "What'll I have for this fine little bird? Bids start at one thousand!"
"I bid one thousand five!"
Machooie realized what was going on, and was overcome by anger. They were selling them like... like goods! Boldly, he stepped up onto the stage and pushed the guy back. "Don't you know how to treat a lady?" The auctioneer grinned and addressed the crowd. "Looks like someone wants to place a bid!"
"No way! This is sick!!! You can't treat a girl like that!"
"Hey listen up, Mr Proper! I have a business to run!"
"And I'm gonna end it!" Matchooie wrenched the guy's arm away from the girl. With that, the stage was filled with tough, muscular biker guys. One held Matchooie's wing and twisted it behind his back. A doberman approached him, and prepared to knock him out. However, Matchooie ducked and felt himself freed as his captor recieved the punch ment for him. With this advantage, the breegull took off, causing confusion on the ground. In an attempt to confuse the less than clever bikers, he swooped down, grabbed the key from the neck of the unsuspecting announcer, and tossed it to the girl whom had been talking to him.
*************************************
Buddy awoke, and sniffed some more. His leg was gruesomely cut, but he still had two good arms and one good leg. He spotted an unfinished roll of bandages. If only... Buddy dressed back and his paw came on some thing hard. He felt it... it seemed to be made out of a thick rope. As he felt it, he realized that it was a rope LADDER! Buddy held one end and pushed the other end down. He then tied one end to a metal tube and pulled it to make sure it was tight. Then, he began the job of climbing down. About half an hour later, he was at the bottom, trying to sniff out his next move. His nose picked up.... a huge crowd.... many different kinds of animals... and alcohol. Lots of alcohol. Among them was... Matchooie... Yes, Matchooie was still there. "Okay, Matchsticks..." he gritted his teeth as he thought out loud. "I didn't win the rock climbing award for my good looks."
************************************
Matchooie's actions had starting a chain reaction similiar to World
War 3. Girls were freeing themselves and running to the nearest exits. That is, except for those girls who wanted revenge for their rough treatment. In the confusion, a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around the breegull's neck, bringing him face to face with a smiling swan- the girl whom he had rescued. "Who are-" But he never finished, as she drew him into a long kiss. It might have been a minute, even longer. Finally, she pressed an envelope into his wing. "Go on... do what you have to do. And... thank-you." The swan disappeared into the crowd. He couldn't see her among the fighting, but he thought he heard a loud war cry belonging to her. As he turned to leave, a paw landed on his shoulder. "Buddy!"
"C'mon, Romeo, quit romancing the girls and let's find some kiddies!"
"Buddy?!"
"No, Superman. C'mon!" The sheepdog limped off towards the door.
"How'd you-"
"Let's just say that there's a way down if ya know where to look."
Matchooie was glad to see his friend... but was unsure whether he should shout or smile. He decided to smile. "sigh C'mon, let's see what's in here." He opened the envelope. Inside, there was a card and a breif note stating, "The card opens the door." Matchooie shrugged, looked around and spied the metal door, which was still waving its red laser across the floor. Buddy peeked over the breegull's shoulder. "What-?"
"I think I know what it's talking about."
The breegull went over to the door and held the card to the door. It creaked open, revealing the metallic surface inside. Buddy put up his nose and sniffed. "Oh, right, Einstein. C'mon, they've definately been in here."
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Traz ducked into a little room and looked at the lizard on his shoulder. "Where's Tooty?" A molehill suddenly appeared infront of him, followed by the same chubby mole. Tooty is right behind that wall, but it's surrounded by alarms. Hit one light laser and they'll go off!"
"Well how come-"
"I go under them. You'll have to use my patented Inviso-ray goggles to see them... and whatever you do, DON'T TOUCH THEM!!!"
"Ok. What to do then? I can't go through the wall."
"Then use my last Beak-fortifier." As the mole finished, he gave Traz the goggles and the Beak-fortifier, and dug down into his molehill.
Tooty sat down against the wall and shivered in fear. She wished that the little mole was there, at least it was company, for a while. As she thought that, the mole popped out of his molehill and smiled. "Hello, Tooty."
"Mr Mole! You sound happy- are we going to escape?"
"Why, yes Tooty! Hopefully, that breegull should be on his way..."
As they spoke, Traz was scrutinizing the beams. They moved up and down, side to side, ready to offset an alarm if even one was touched. He took a few steps forward and ducked a beam. One beam passed under him as he jumped it, while dodging another. He just barely missed another one. It was just a little further... "and you can Traz pressed his body flat to the ground only in time to see a beam pass over his head. "That was so, SO close!" cried Traz. He got up from the ground and at the same time, rammed the wall. It broke, revealing a terrified Tooty. "Toots! Are you alright?"
"Hey, Tooty- We met in dat cave with the hulking balookas, but we ain't never been formally... introduced. I'm Slither!" Tooty bent down and looked at him.
"Hello, Mr Lizard! Are you coming with us to get out of here?" Slither looked a bit impatient. "Not Mr Lizard. Just Slither. Say it- Sliiitheeer!" Tooty grinned.
"Sliiither. Slither. I've got it, Mr Lizard!"
"Oy....!!!!" said Slither, slapping his face. "Well let's get you hulkin' balookas outta here!!!"
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Banjo placed his arm around Sanjy. The forest was eerily beautiful... and as much deadly as it was beautiful. They came to a small thicket of trees. None of them seemed very interested in doing anything, but one never knew... The sound of a kazoo played somewhere in the distance. "Kazooie?" he wondered.
"Banjo, I don't think so."
"Maybe." A familiar evil voice came out of nowhere.
"Gooo to sleeeep.... Gooo eee haa haa haa!!!!" Banjo felt his eyes begin to close. "Sanjy..." he said, but she was already on the ground. A few minutes later, he awoke. Or kind of. A beautiful green woman with evil eyes was watching him. "Huh?" he wondered sleepily. "What's going on?"
"Yes, what IS going on?" said the mystery woman. "One of you is dreaming, the other is wide awake!!" The woman then showed him three doors. "One of these doors will take you to where you want to go, one will send you into destruction, and the other will make you my slave FOREVER!!!! EEEEHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!" cried the woman. "If you are dreaming, some things are fake! If you are NOT dreaming, they may not be!!! You have ONE hour to figure it out!!!" Then, silence. Banjo thought he heard the faint sound of kazoo-playing.... it was coming from one direction.
Curious, he followed it. Then, the kazoo playing stopped abruptly and a banjo began playing away. Banjo pushed his head around a corner, spotting a banjo and a kazoo playing in harmony. Then, at his presence, both stopped. The banjo made a jerking movement toward the kazoo, causing it to draw back, like the instrument was scaring it off. Then the banjo hit the kazoo, sending it flying into a rock. Banjo frowned. "Hey! You can't treat something like that!" he cried. Smoke drifted out from the kazoo and formed into a vague shape- soon, Kazooie was lying there, her feathers badly ruffled and her entire body cut up. The banjo began hitting the breegull with itself, and Banjo couldn't take anymore. He ran up and held the banjo, banging it into the ground. "You... stop... that... NOW!" The banjo wiggled away from his hand and flew up into the air. Banjo knelt by Kazooie and touched her. Her wounds looked like they were mortal... Banjo felt very sick very suddenly. The breegull barely moved, and when she did, she groaned to accompany it. "Kazooie? What happened?!"
"Banjo?" she whispered. "I have to tell you something..."
"You have to rest, Kazooie. You can tell me later."
"No. Now. I... I... You must... Don't try to save me, Banjo... time is running out..."
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Kazooie ducked into a small room, which seemed to be empty of any people, girls or otherwise. Then without warning, she collapsed. Shadow turned around and checked her... she was fine, without any sign of a wound, yet her breathing was harsh and jagged. All the while, she was muttering something incoherently. Shadow stared at her, and tried to figure out what was wrong. But there was no response, she had no fever, no injuries, just a sharp breath and a long muttering.
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Tooty looked up at Shadow, feeling much safer with him around. She only wished that Banjo was there. But then, he fainted. There was no warning, just the sound of something hitting the ground. His breathing came in sharp gasps and the only sound other than his sharp breathing was the sound of him chanting in some language Tooty had never heard. "Up an' at 'em, kiddo! C'mon, you gotta wakie, wakie!" But not even the yelling Slither seemed to affect him. A molehill appeared just infront of him. "Now, what?! What's happened to the feather-face?!"
But nobody had any answer...
*************************************
Banjo held Kazooie's wing and scooped her up into his paws. "C'mon, Kazooie! Let's go find some help!"
"No... time is almost up, Banjo..." Kazooie looked around desperately. One minute she had been in the room, the next she had blacked out and was staring up at Banjo. For some reason, she knew that time was running out... She had to get him out of there before time was up! Every move, including talking, sparked pain. "Banjo... Put me down and find the way out..."
"HELP!!! Is anybody in here?!?!" Kazooie grabbed Banjo by the fur on his chest. "No, Banjo... Just get outta here...." her voice was so desperate, it shocked him. "Please, Banjo... Please... just.... go-" and she was silent. Banjo stopped his wild run and set her down. "Kazooie? KAZOOIE!!!" There was no response. Banjo lowered his head and put his paw over her staring eyes, on the verge of tears. Out of the ground grew a gigantic rose bud, and as it opened, a red breegull slowly opened his eyes. "Huh? What the-? KAZ!!!!!" Traz hopped down, ran up to his sister and stared at Banjo. The bear had one paw over his sister's face and the other badly burnt one infront of his own. "Kazooie? What the heck happened?!?!"
"Someone got his revenge, that's all." came a smooth voice from behind of them. "You. You-"
"Yes, I know, I'm great, aren't I?" Traz felt hot tears stinging his eyes. Banjo's blue eyes were already welling up in tears. It couldn't have come to this- not now. Traz laid his wing on his sister's body, and a small colourful light came from under it. The light was beginning to grow and warm his wing. Banjo took his paw off her in surprise and the light disappeared. Tildy looked very interested and worried all at once. "Do that again, Banjo!" said Traz. Banjo placed his paw on Kazooie and the light grew, until it was almost blinding. Tildy growled in anger and seemed to be concentrating. The light turned green and cuts began forming on Banjo and Traz. "Banjo! It's some kinda... power!!!"
"Uh, huh! Now what?!"
"Um.. concentrate..." As Traz closed his eyes, the colourful light seemed to be fighting the green light. The colourful light seemed to be winning over, and the cuts disappeared from them, and from Kazooie. She moaned and opened her eyes. Banjo and Traz withdrew their wings and paws in shock and Kazooie fell back. But as the light began winning over again, her eyes reopened and her gaping wounds turned into small cuts, then bruises, then they disappeared altogether. Kazooie sat up and instinctively placed her wing into the middle of the light. It burned brightly and the green light disappeared. Tildy seemed on the brink of screaming. She stopped and growled again. Then, the colourful light formed into something hard- a piece of Mumbo Jumbo's wand!!! "Take it, kiddies, I'm off!"
"She's off alright," muttered Traz.
"I agree! How about we send this grass-dummy outta here!" But Tildy had disappeared, only saying, "You have ten minutes to figure out my puzzle, then you must paaaay!!! EEHEEHEEEHEEEEE!!!!" Kazooie stood up and looked around. "What's up?! You look like you've seen a-"
"Don't say it!!!" Banjo and Traz cried together. "Well, you were... we thought you were..."
"Dead?" Kazooie grinned sarcastically.
"Guh hut!!! Now, let's go!"
"WAIT!! Did any of you black out before coming here?!" asked Traz.
"Now ya mention it- yeah!"
"Yup!" Banjo realized that this was something important right away. "Tildy said something about either me or Sanjy dreaming... that means..."
"Well! What's it mean?!?!" asked Traz.
"I dunno, I was hoping you knew!" Kazooie was the one shaking her head at this remark. "Can you get any dumber?! It probably means that all three of us are dreaming! And if we're dreaming it means that all of this is fake!"
"Including the wand piece?"
"Who knows? I just hope we didn't go through all that for a fake wand piece!" muttered Kazooie, turning the piece over in her wing.
Banjo ran up and realized where they were- the room where the three doors were. A green portal opened up behind them, and it began to move forward, engulfing everything in it's path. Each door opened up- one contained a pool of water, one a quiet forest, the other a raging fire. Their first thoughts were- the forest! But Kazooie stopped. "Hold on. If everything's fake, then has anybody thought that this stuff could be fake, too?"
"Huh? Yeah, good point, Kaz."
"Guh hut! Oooooh....." said Banjo. Kazooie's eyes widened. Banjo's paw was alight, and he didn't even seem to feel it!. "Banjo, ARE YOU NUTS?!?!"
"But it doesn't hurt..."
"Wait, Sis. Maybe THIS is what we were supposed to figure out!"
"Eh?"
"Well, if the fire doing him anything, it can't be real. If it isn't real, then...." He gestured toward the fire. "After you."
Banjo, Kazooie and Traz stood in front of the door. "I hope we're dreaming," gulped Kazooie as she and her friends stepped into the inferno.
Traz stared at his wing... it was alight, as was the rest of his body, but he felt no pain. It was as if he had just taken a dip in a pond. All around him, his body burnt up, while he simply watched it. Then the entire world began to go dark... He couldn't even see Banjo or Kazooie anymore. Traz felt someone holding his wing. His eyes opened and he saw Tooty, looking more worried than anyone her age should have looked. "Traz? Please wake up!"
"Hey, Toots!"
"TRAZ!!!" she shouted. "What happened?!" Slither ran up his body, all the while grinning and talking.
"Ya great hulkin' balooka!!! Never do dat again!!!"
"Um, I won't (whatever it was I did)." The mole watched them all from a distance.
"Now, let's get out of this dump, and NO FAINTING!!" The voice was stern, but Bottles was grinning the whole time. Traz picked himself off of the ground. "That was... weird."
**********************************
Kazooie awoke in Shadow's wings. "Shadow!"
"C'mon, lil Scorp. 'Big Men' don't black out!" Kazooie made a face.. "But really, what happened back there? You were muttering something-"
"I'm great. Let's get outta here, already." Shadow gave a sigh of relief.
"I thought I would have to do mouth-to-mouth for a minute." Shadow looked boyishly at her. "Don't even think it, Nightie," said Kazooie, but she wasn't sure of whether or not she meant it. "It was just a thought, Scorp. Just a thought."
***************************************
Banjo woke up in the field and saw Sanjy, still asleep next to him. "Sanjy? Wake up, Sanjy! Sanjy!!" Sanjy moaned and tossed without waking.
"NO!!! Stop..."
"Sanjy, you're dreaming!!!! WAKE UP!!!"
"No... no... NOOOOO!!!!!" She let out a piercing scream and tossed violently.
"C'mon, Sanjy... fight it!" Sanjy tossed and kicked some more. Banjo held her body and shook it. "Sanjy, c'mon! Wake up! Wake up!" It was like trying to contain a hurricane. Sanjy let out another scream and jerked as if she was possessed. Banjo could do nothing but sit there, a bit terrified as she jerked. Her eyes flayed open, but they didn't seem to be focusing... on anything. She screamed again. "No! Leave him alone!!!"
**********************************
Sanjy kicked anyone who tried to hold her and struggled to break through the crowd. For chained to a stake, her friend was hanging there infront of a huge crowd as a man beat him. She could do nothing- the crowd was too thick. The crowd shouted for more and cheered it on. She couldn't believe they could want that. Finally- she burst free! She was running up to him and touching his brown, bloody face. The man hadn't noticed her and had brought the whip down on her, causing her to jerk. "I'm ok, Sanjy... But you must wake up!"
"Wake up? Banjo, please..."
"Wake up!" he shouted in response. "I'll be ok, but you must fight it!"
"Fight what?! I don't-"
"Try to wake up!"
"I won't leave you!"
"No, I'll be with you. Wake up! Fight it!"
"Will you?"
"I'll be waiting... on the other side. Go on!" Banjo let out another groan as the whip hit his back again. Sanjy jerked and was surrounded by coloured light. "BAAANJOOO!!!!" she screamed and jolted awake. "Banjo, they were beating you and you were-"
"Um, I was right here! Tildy had put some kind of spell on you, but you broke out from it." Sanjy gasped and hugged him, washing his fur with tears. Banjo hadn't gone through exactly what she had, but he could just guess what torture Tildy must have been putting her through. She pulled out from his body and sniffed. "I thought they would kill you, Banjo."
"Don't worry, I was here. But are you alright?" She sniffed.
"I will be." Banjo sighed in relief. Then something occured to him.
"I wonder which one of us was dreaming?" Sanjy was a bit too flustered to answer, but found some comfort in knowing that the scene had not been real. Banjo also became aware of something hard in his pocket. Curious, he took it out- a wand piece! "So I was the one with the real dream all along," mused Banjo. At the very least, something good had come out of all that.
***********************************
Kazooie followed Shadow. "Now what?" she asked.
"I've got a plan." Kazooie raised an eyebrow. "Huh. What's up, Shady?"
"If we can make it to the outside-"
"IF?!" Shadow found himself ignoring her.
"-we can find some help." Kazooie looked bothered.
"I thought you had a plan, Night-boy!" Shadow looked at her.
"Yeah, I do. Relax."
"Gee, something just doesn't seem relaxing about this, you know?" If sarcasm could kill, Kazooie would have been a serial killer.
********************************
Traz found himself standing infront of a what looked like a green force-field. On the other side was a great forest.
"Well, kiddo, dis is as far as I can go."
"Why? You're not backing out, are you?" asked Traz.
"See dis light beam? Watch." Slither ran down his back and jumped to the floor. He banged one clawed fist into the force-field. It was as if he was banging on a wall. "But how can we get out, Mr Lizard?"
"You ain't been tagged, kiddos. See this bracelet, right here?"
Traz looked at the tiny metal ring on Slither's tiny wrist. "What is it?"
"A tag, plain and simple. You don't got one, so you can pass, got it?"
Traz looked at him. "Isn't there anyway we can get it off?"
"Nah. Nothin' but some kinda coded key can get it off, 'n' only one person has it- Three guesses."
"So what're you and the mole gonna do?"
"Ah, don't worry 'bout us. Botts'll invent more crackpot thing-a-ma-jiggies, 'n' I'll just hang around. But If you could bring back dat key, it wouldn't be so bad either- get my drift?" Traz nodded.
"I'll get it, Slither. Then we'll all clear this dump."
"Yeah, Mr Lizard!" said Tooty, enthusiastically. Traz gulped and stepped through with Tooty following closely behind him.
Bottles burrowed up next to Slither. "Think da kid'll make it?" the lizard asked.
"With my last beak-fortifier, he better," was the response.
Traz stepped quickly through the forest, while keeping a close eye on Tooty. He had the sudden urge to take to the air, but it was Tooty that kept him back. She couldn't go as fast as he could on the ground, and she definitely couldn't fly. There seemed to be only one ridiculous alternative. "Hey, Toots. Want a ride? Get on." Tooty climbed onto his back and held on as he ran off at full speed.
"Are vines supposed to be chasing us, Traz?"
"Oh sure, Tooty, they chase people all the time," was his sarcastic answer.
"But Traz- look behind us!" Traz stopped and looked behind at the trees, the flowers, the grass, the homicidal moving vines.... Wait one second. A vine grabbed for Traz, who ducked it. "What the heck-? C'mon, Toots, we clearin' this joint!" Tooty nodded and grabbed Traz's body as he took to flight. But it was only too late- the vine grabbed his foot and tried to pull him back. "Hey! Leggo, Grass butt!" cried Traz in shock. Using his free leg, he dug his talons into the huge wine, not knowing about the hot acid within. The acid felt like fire on his foot, but despite the cut, the vine kept holding on. Traz flew closer to the ground, saying, "Jump off, Toots! Run for it!"
Tooty jumped off, but rather than run, she grabbed a stick and began hitting the vine. "No way, Toots! The insides-" But the vine let him go, and went towards Tooty. Traz sped off in a race to her and grabbed her up in his talons by her shirt and flew off, leaving the vine unable to reach them. Tooty looked down, shaking. But she thought she saw something. Two bears. "Traz? What's that?"
Traz looked down and flew in for a closer look, being very careful not to get too close. Finally, he recognized them- "Banjo! Banjo, up here!!"
Banjo looked up, and saw Traz, circling with something in his talons- Tooty! "Banjo, who are they?"
"Traz! Tooty!" he shouted happily. Traz landed, allowing Tooty to run to him.
"Banjo! I'm so glad to see you!"
"Me too, Tooty!" It was an understatement on both sides. Traz looked around. "Hey, Banjo! Where's Kaz?" Banjo looked a bit worried.
"Well, um, Traz... she's kinda... she sorta got..."
"Kazooie and Shadow were captured," came a soft voice. Traz stepped back and put his wing on his forehead. "We'll get her back, Traz," said Banjo, helpfully, "she's safe."
"I know," responded Traz.
"Where's Mumbo?" asked Banjo, "I got a wand piece!"
"I haven't seen him, Banjo. You, Toots?" Tooty shook her head in response.
**********************************************
Buddy limped behind Matchooie, sniffing the air. They were going in the right direction, but he could also tell that another breegull, not like the first three breegulls, was somewhere around. "Hey, Match? I smell someone else here... not related to you, though. Maybe a friend?"
Matchooie shook his head. "Only Banjo, Kazooie, Tooty and Traz, Bud. No one else. Why? Smell something?"
"Yeah.... he's around what seems like.... some kinda.... coal? And metal. No coal... more like... gun pow-"
"He has a gun, Bud. A gun?!" Matchooie stopped momentarily. "Where are you guys?" he asked no one in particular. Buddy looked more than a bit worried.
"He's close, Match... really close... too close!"
Matchooie put a feather to his beak. "Shhh... let's go check on Mr Gunman."
"Right." Machooie and Buddy snuck up, and peeked around a corner. A red breegull, not Traz or Kazooie, was holding a gun and pointing it around. "No one in this room, either. Huh, I guess I really didn't see anybody." Matchooie stared at him. He had seen him somewhere before... where?, he wondered. Where did he know a red breegull, about the same age as Kazooie, other than- he came so close to saying something, it shocked him. Yes. As he turned and he got a good look at his face, he knew almost immediatly who it was. Sisqo?! { J/k, let's do that again :-) *ahem*} Francis?! What was he doing there?! Buddy watched Matchooie's face turned grim. "What's up, Match?" he whispered, leaning on the wall for support.
"I can't believe it! What he doing here?" It had immediately occurred to him that he was responsible for his siblings' disappearance.
Frankie pointed the gun around again. He had somehow been transported back to the room where he had come in, by Tildy, he guessed. He wondered who that cocky red breegull with the blue backpack had been... he didn't remember seeing him around. And that voice... it had been somewhat familiar. But he quickly put the image out of his mind. The younger breegull turned his back, only to hear the soft beating of wings behind him. He didn't have time to turn, or even to move before he was staring at the polish on the floor.
But he still had his gun. Struggling to throw the other breegull off, he fired a shot. But he never fired another, for Buddy bit his wing, forcing him to let go. In the same instant, Buddy grabbed up the gun and held it out of his reach. Machooie came to his feet, holding Frankie, who was kicking and pecking. "Wha? Lemme a-"
"Alright, FRANCIS! Where's Kazooie?!" At this, Frankie stopped.
"Machooie Breegull. Well I don't know! I'm just trying to do my job!"
"Job? You never worked a day in your life!"
"You can't do me anything! You'll get in so much trouble, I-"
"Get a clue! Your fat-head father isn't here!!"
That hurt Frankie much more than any of them knew. Angry, he wrenched himself away from Matchooie. "YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM LIKE THAT!!!! You know what?!?! Kazooie's DEAD! Yeah!!!! Kazooie and Traz and Banjo and Tooty are all DEAD!!!!" He knew they weren't, really, but he was taking comfort in the momentary hurt on Matchooie's face. Then, it became harsh again. "Shut up, ya little bug!" cried Buddy.
"You stay out of it! Your friend's father is a murderer, you know that?!?!" Buddy didn't believe it, but he was trying to keep Matchooie from killing Frankie right where he stood. Frankie sneered at him and ran off, shouting out a slew of numbers. A door in the wall opened. Matchooie ran after him, but remembered Buddy. It was so tempting to just run him down and wipe that sneer off his face... but no. Buddy would get in trouble without him there, it was best he stayed. Buddy limped after him. "Kazooie went this way." he said without another word. But as he limped beside Matchooie, he looked worriedly at his friend. "Are you ok? I mean-"
"I'm not bothered, Bud. It ain't true," was all he said in response. Buddy stopped. "They went this way," he pointed down a hallway, "but I smell another way... it's maybe twice as short, and empty. What do you think, Match?" Matchooie thought about it. "Let's go the shorter way, ta shave off some time." Buddy shrugged and limped after him. But he found it hard to keep up, and he collapsed on the ground a little later. "Buddy! What's up?"
"I'm suffering from a disease, Match."
"What?!" Buddy grinned.
"It's called, 'Losing-us-balance-um'."
"Ha ha, funny," said Matchooie dryly, and helped him up. But he noticed that for all Buddy's ribbing, the bandage covering his leg was blood soaked. "Bud, look. You're hurt. That's the point!"
"What?"
"Nothing. Let's go." Matchooie stalked off, a very confused Buddy following behind him.
{Author's note: Nope, definately not my best work and the worst is yet to come. My next works may be rated PG-13 for angst and contain a major case of hurt/comfort. (Wow, look at my new vocab!) I'm wondering whether or not to post them at all. So what do you think? To post or not to post, that is the question.}