Mistakes
by Laura Kamida
Rated PG-13 for Violence and Language
by Laura Kamida
Rated PG-13 for Violence and Language
The young boy with fiery red hair charged up the staircase at full speed, tears obstructing his vision, his chest tightening into thick, heavy breaths as his feet rhythmically pounded the stone of the o ld-fashioned fortress.
His guilt made his heart feel cold inside. Tai was dead because of him... Mimi was evil... Takeru and Kari had been through hell, and he had caused his friends to be stranded in a foreign world for six years... The thought of it was staggering. He had ruined the lives of seven people... and there was nothing he could do about it now but wish that he hadn't ruined everything with one simple program, one deadly portal.
There is one way I can make some amends for what I did, Izzy thought to himself. I can bring Mimi back... I'm sure that I can do it. I see it in her eyes when I'm near her... She wants to come back to good... She just doesn't know how, she can't es... cape... ....
Escape... Why did that cross his mind? ... It wasn't like there was someone holding her prisoner... and making her... do these terrible things... Was there?
Izzy reached the large, dark room where the six of them had separated before, and stopped to take a few, heavy breaths, and to contemplate his new half-theory... No one could make someone do such things... and to her friends, besides... It was impossible...
He spied another set of stairs, and found himself marveling at the complexities that lay within the architecture. Hmph, all stereotypical evil monarchs have large, dark, intricate castles, don't you know that Izzy?
He had nothing better to do, so he started for the stairs.
Please let me able to save her... I know I can't make everything right... But please let me fix just this one thing...
~*~
Matt looked down at Sora, whose eyes were reddened with tears, which left trails on her fatigued face, and he immediately wanted to hold her in his arms and whisper to her that everything would be okay. "Oh, Sora..." he breathed. "I'm so sorry, about - "
" - Don't." she said, cutting him off. She averted her eyes to the other side of the room. "Please, don't."
He walked slowly over to her and knelt down to her, resisting every urge to pull her close to him. As if his very presence had reminded her of Tai, she began to sob again. Quickly, he pulled her into a tight embrace and she wept unabashedly. He rocked her gently back and forth, listening to her soft cries, listening to her heart beating. He didn't want to hurt her, not at all, but he needed her. When she pulled away, he didn't try to hold her close, but instead let her sit back away from him. Her tear-stained face was shining in the moonlight.
He tenderly caressed her face, lightly wiping the tears from her cheeks. She looked at him with an expression of gratitude for the comfort that he was giving her. He leaned forward, his cheek brushing up against hers. He could feel her warm breath against his neck, and it sent a shiver up his spine. His lips brushed against her cheek, and they made their way to her mouth, where he kissed her.
At first it was soft, affectionate, but as his desire burned within him, he pulled her close to him and held her tightly, kissing her passionately.
He felt a twinge of betrayal deep inside of him. It snaked its way up his body, and he almost pulled away from her. He had betrayed Tai. His dead friend. Even though they had not always seen eye to eye, Tai had trusted Matt. And now, not hours after his death... Matt was betraying Sora. Betraying her vulnerability. She was helpless, saddened, and Matt had advanced on her in this state.
Or was he the one, in fact, being betrayed? Betrayed by his heart, by his feelings, by the very inability to push her out of his mind even though he was hurting her and his friend?
"No," she murmured. "Don't." She pulled away and turned her head so his face was buried in her thick, auburn hair.
"Sora," he whispered, still holding her loosely. "I love you."
"Matt, I -- we... can't do this. I love Tai..."
Matt pulled away from her and turned her head so she was facing him. "Sora, Tai is dead."
Sora slapped his face. He stared at her with a quiet sadness for a moment and she put her hand to his face. She looked slightly remorseful for what she did. "I don't care. I still love him and I will always love him."
"But I love you," Matt insisted, tears creeping into his voice. "I've always loved you, Sora. And always it's been Tai..." he drifted off. His heart ached to tell her that every time her gentle golden voice caressed his ears, or every time she gracefully tossed her soft auburn tresses over her shoulders, or every time her beautiful, loving, lively eyes met his own, he knew that there would never be anyone else he would be so devoted to.
He looked into her eyes once again, and realized that her heart ached too. She loved him, in her own friendly way, but she loved Tai more. And he realized, no matter how much he hurt because of her, her heart didn't care. Her heart wouldn't love him just because Tai was dead.
"I -- I'm sorry, Sora," he gasped, standing up. "I -- I went crazy for a second. I love you... I don't want to hurt you. I wish I had never done that."
Sora looked into his troubled eyes. "I understand," she said. "I forgive you."
"It's too soon for you to forget Tai... I should have never done what I did."
"I don't want to forget Tai," she said, bristling.
"I'm sorry, again, I'm sorry." He shook his head frantically. "I know you don't want to forget Tai. None of us do. That's really, really not what I meant. I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry." he had hurt her. He could see it in her eyes. It was wrong for him to come here. He had made the wrong move... again.
She would always love Tai. He would always only be runner up to her. He would always only be second best, what she settled for because she couldn't have Tai. He turned from her and walked out, not letting her witness the burning tears brimming over his blue eyes. "Only second best," he whispered, too quietly to be heard, his throat too dry to speak.
"Matt?" Sora whispered. But it was too late. He had already walked out. Sora felt regret for what she had done. She didn't want him -- but it was almost like she had been cruel to him... he loved her, and she threw her love for Tai back up in his face.
Matt sprinted up the stairs, trying to outrun the pain, but it caught him and dragged him down. He should have known better. Sora couldn't love him. She loved Tai. She always would love Tai. He would never find his heart's true desire because... Stuck, he thought bitterly. In this damn digital world. He had to lock up his love for so long and now that it could finally matter, now that there was nothing standing in the way for him to have the only woman he had ever wanted --
There was a ghost in his way.
His mind flooded with pain. She loves Tai. I'm only second best. Only second best. Only second best. Only second best. Only second best. Second best. Second best. Second best. Second best. Second. Second. Second. Always... only second best. The words rolled around in his mind until they stopped being words. Only images in his deep pain. Only Sora, always in Tai's arms, always holding her baby, and always Matt, standing by helplessly, watching them happy while all he was... was alone. Her smile... Tai's smile... Matt's tears, all blurred in his mind in a dull white. A bright light. Coldness. Lights. Shadows. Pain. Burning. Wanting. Love. Hate.
SECOND BEST.
Pain again. Physical pain now. He had fallen on the stairs. He pounded furiously on them. Salty blood came from his lip, where he had hit the cold, hard stone of the steps, and hot, salty tears fell from his eyes. The only sound he could hear was his suspended, hard breaths, and his heart beating rapidly. He could not even hear the soft footsteps of someone coming up the stairs to see him... Someone he didn't even know he had passed in his frantic run up the staircase.
"Matt," a soft voice said sadly, and Matt slowly lifted his face to meet two eyes, soulful, and disappointed in him. "Matt..." he repeated, the male voice cracking. "How could you?"
~*~
Izzy walked, and walked, and walked up the stairs, until he finally reached a large wooden door... What could be behind the door? Izzy wasn't sure. He stupidly didn't stop to consider who or what was in there and immediately tried to open it. To his dismay, the huge door was locked, and shut tightly... if Mimi was in there, he wasn't going to get to her without a little help.
He held his Digivice tight in his hand and whispered for his Digimon. "Tentomon... Tentomon...!"
Suddenly Kabuterimon glided up the stairs behind him and landed next to him. "What is it, Izzy?"
"Break down this - " Izzy began, then heard a voice speaking from within the room. "Wait!" he hissed, pressing his cheek against the door to listen.
"Help me Serimon..." a voice said hoarsely. "I don't think I can stand..."
"I told you, my master," the Digimon scolded softly, and in a weak, simpering voice at the same time. "I told you not to give all your power away... To such an undependable recipient, at that - "
There was the cold hard crack of someone slapping someone else. A whimper. "Now, Serimon. Let us fly. I'm afraid of being discovered... and I know the Digimistress can handle anything anyone throws at her now."
Izzy blinked. "Digimistress?" he repeated softly. He could hear the sound of the wind briskly blowing, a soft howl that echoed around the room that was behind the large wooden door. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, then turned to Kabuterimon. "I'm not sure what's going on... But I'm going to find out," he declared.
~*~
The dark-haired young man walked through the quiet, foreboding halls, afraid to put his hands along the walls, yet afraid to walk unaided, unsupported. What am I doing here? he thought to himself, too scared to utter the words aloud. I think I'm allergic to - Stop it, Joe. You stopped doing that a long time ago, remember? His mind flashed back to a time when he was afraid that he would never be happy...
~~FLASH BACK...~~
Joe breathed in deeply, over and over again, almost to the point of making himself dizzy with hyperventilation. He was so nervous... Mimi was everything he had ever wanted in a girl, and everything he had thought he could never have because she was so perfect and so popular and so beautiful... and he was just a geek, a clumsy kid with glasses and allergies and fears... of everything.
"She thinks you're cute!" Sora had said sweetly. She had caught Joe blushing over Mimi and guessed correctly that he had a crush on her. "You should definately go for her!" She had genuine earnest in her voice... and someone as sweet as Sora would never, ever lie about something like that. Not matters of the heart. Not when her Crest was Love!
So now, in the dark of the evening, with the dim light of a small candle lighting Joe's hut up, he straightened his hair and tried to make himself perfect. He looked outside, and he the four of them sitting around a big campfire in the middle of Odaiba: Tai, with his arms around Sora lovingly, and Mimi and Matt just sitting by each other. "This is a good sign, Joe my man," he told himself. Obviously they didn't care about each other at all if even the pressure of such a perfect couple with them didn't make them cuddle up together like a couple themselves.
He adjusted his shirt and walked out of his hut. Sora saw him and she tried to contain her excitement. Joe made a sign for her to keep quiet, and Tai was too enthralled with Matt and Mimi's conversation to see him. He looked at the small pink flowers that he had picked for her earlier, then saw one that was a little wilty and snatched it out of the bouquet, tossing it aside. Perfect!
OK, OK, we can do this, Joe. We're... .... He frowned. WE? I'm going crazy here! I am going to tap her on the shoulder and say "Mimi, can I talk to you for a second in private?"... and she's going to say -
"And Joe, who could believe him today! 'I don't think anyone should go anywhere during the day. It's too daaaangerous...' Hah!" Mimi said, making her voice nasally and even more high-pitched than usual. Joe stopped dead in his tracks. "My name is Joe and I'm a wussy and I'm allergic to having fun! ... blah blah blah blah blaaaah, and I - "
"Mimi, STOP!" Sora finally cried desperately, her eyes looking straight into Joe's, which where tearing up, although he tried to fight back the emotion that was springing up inside of him. Mimi spun around, looking at Joe, just as the other three were.
"Oh, oh my gosh... Joe! I'm... I'm so sorry! I didn't mean - "
"Stop, Mimi... It's OK... I don't mind." He stumbled over the words that he uttered next. "Y-you of all people wouldn't... wouldn't lie about something like that, being Sincere, and everything... S-so it must be true..." His bottom lip trembled as he wiped his hands across his eyes roughly, and flung the flowers. All five pairs of eyes stared as they landed in the fire, the delicate petals and stems curling as they burned, lifting the scent of the charred perfume to their noses. When they turned back to Joe, he was gone, running full speed toward the woods on the edge of the town.
He ran and ran until his lungs burned and he felt he couldn't go another step, but he kept running anyway. Finally, he was brought to a stop as he tripped over a tree root and went sprawling. He landed on the ground, the solidity knocking the wind out of him, and sending his glasses flying.
He lay in the dark, panting for the air that just wouldn't come, feeling as if he were going to pass out, when he heard a voice, calling for him. "Joe! Joe...! Joe, where are you?"
He puffed, trying to breathe out the words that just wouldn't come. "G - G - Go..."
The little seal-looking Digimon patted Joe on the back, trying to comfort him. "It's OK, Joe... You don't have to say anything..." Gomamon took a few steps forward and picked up Joe's glasses, trying to hand them to him... But he just ended up placing them on his face.
"Thank you, Gomamon," Joe finally breathed.
Gomamon grinned, looking happy just for the knowledge that he made Joe feel a little better. His face softened as he saw the still distressed look on his companion's face. "... I guess y'don't think Mimi is so charming anymore, huh Joe...?"
Joe shook his head slowly. "It's not like that, Gomamon... I finally get it... If I want Mimi to like me, I have to change myself. I have to be better for her, Gomamon... I have to get over everything that's been making me the laughingstock of the Digidestined for so long... I'm going to be strong now, Gomamon. I'm going to be strong, and tough, and brave, and muscular... and I'm never going to ever be allergic to anything ever again. Never! You understand?"
Gomamon looked at Joe sadly. "I guess so..." He looked more disappointed than happy for his friend's new-found determination. But Joe didn't seem to notice; he was too proud of himself for finally getting over his stumbling block.
"I promise you I'm never going to be the same Joe Kido again!" he said, grinning.
Gomamon could only muster a nod.
~~END OF FLASH BACK...~~
A set of claws grasped his foot, and Joe jumped a foot in the air, spinning around, trying not to gasp, afraid that at any of the flunkies that Mimi had were ready to spring on him. "Joe? Are you looking for us?" A small voice asked.
Joe sighed with relief and kneeled down to pat the little mohawked Digimon on the head. "Gomamon..." he said simply. "Yes, I was."
"Did I scare ya!?" Gomamon asked, his normal hyperactivity seeping through.
"Not at all," Joe said.
"Liar."
"Dreamer."
Gomamon sniffled. Joe poked him playfully in the shoulder. "What's wrong, little guy?"
"Why did you have to change for her!?" Gomamon cried, his eyes welling up with tears. "The old Joe would have never said that he wasn't scared. The old Joe would have been scared, and would have taken it in stride with a normal Joe comment." Joe tried to speak, but Gomamon cut him off by continuing. "I don't know what it is about you humans that makes you think that you aren't good enough for someone else and makes you think you have to change. I don't know about Mimi, but I like the old Joe a lot better. He was more secure, funnier, and a lot better as a person than the new Joe will ever be..." he broke off into sobs.
"G-Gomamon.... I had no idea..."
"You should just let Izzy have her," Gomamon spat. "The old Joe Kido is too good for her anyway." Joe's eyes widened and he couldn't help but turn away from the Digimon.
~*~
Matt's blue eyes widened with fear and the shock of being caught red-handed, by him, no less.
The clear, defined eyes stared at him, bearing into his own reddened, tear-stained eyes, tearing through all the defenses that he was desperately trying to put back up.
"Matt... How could you..." the voice repeated, a little softer this time.
Matt turned back over to look at the ground. "I don't have to explain myself to you," he spat.
"The hell you don't!" Takeru roared, grabbing the loose fabric from Matt's shoulder and slinging him back over roughly. Matt looked up at him incredulously, snatching his little brother's hand from the shirt. Takeru only stared down at him, throwing him daggers through his clear blue eyes. "Matt, how could you do something like that!?"
"Like what," Matt growled, standing up. "I wasn't doing anything," he lied.
"Bull. I saw you Matt. You - you..." he shuddered violently. "A-and he just died!" Takeru took a step away from him, as if he were totally revolted by the whole idea.
"You just don't understand," Matt said coldly. "I love her."
"No, you don't! It doesn't happen like that," Takeru said mysteriously. "It never does. They never - " he cut himself off, turning around.
"Yeah, I guess you would know about that, wouldn't you? I didn't think you'd know. I never thought you'd find out, and I didn't want you to either. But I guess you know that Mom and ... your father weren't in love." Before he could stop himself, he spilled the final blow with such emotion that tears started to run from his eyes again: "And you know that you're not my real brother............ and that it's all your fault that Mom and my dad split up.... It's all your fault!"
Takeru's eyes widened, and he staggered backward, finally bracing himself on a wall. Matt covered his mouth, appalled that he had accused Takeru, his little brother, his little TK, of splitting up his parents... It wasn't his fault, no matter what little childish selfish thought Matt had harbored in his heart... he loved TK more than anything, would do anything to protect him... and yet he had delivered the shot to the heart himself with those terrible words.
"I-I'm sorry, TK, I didn't mean..."
He was stopped as Takeru let out an almost unhuman roar and charged at him, throwing his fist out and socking Matt in the jaw. He stood there, breathing in and out heavily, staring at his older brother, who held his cheek protectively.
"TK..." Matt said, laboring to utter the two simple letters. "I'm sorry for what I said. Let's not get into a fight over this now."
But Takeru would have none of it. "HOW COULD YOU!?" he screamed again, leaping forward, his shoulder ramming into Matt's stomach. As he slammed against the stone steps, he was eerily reminded of Tai and the fights that the two of them used to have when they were younger.
He slammed against the cold rock and it knocked the wind out of him. He pushed Takeru's shoulders to shove him off without hurting him, but it was impossible. Takeru was so enraged, so determined to give Matt a beating that he wouldn't be moved.
Finally Matt punched him in the face. He fell backward, holding his face, a tear falling from the eye that Matt had hit. Matt stood up slowly, walked to his little brother, and took his hand, helping him to stand and hugging him tightly.
"I'm sorry Matt..." he said, choking on the words. Matt could only nod and put his hand on Takeru's head as a father would hold his son when he was crying.
As the two men stood, they did not see a shadowy figure sneak off in another direction many steps down, trying to avoid their gaze... trying to escape so they could exact their revenge.
~*~
The young girl plodded up the stairs slowly. Tears clouded her eyes, and she wasn't quite sure where she was going anymore. She didn't care. A part of herself told her to hide, to get away from the open, just in case Mimi was around, but another part of her didn't care.
"COME AND GET ME!!" she shrieked. "COME AND KILL ME, MIMI, JUST LIKE YOU KILLED MY BROTHER!" No answer. She expected Takeru to grab her and quiet her, but when she turned around, Takeru was gone. Her face fell a little, but she continued to shout. "COME ON, MIMI!! COME ON, YOU STUPID, COWARDLY, BROTHER-KILLING BITCH!"
A hand landed on her shoulder. Kari spun around, and gasped, face to face with Mimi.
"M-Mimi!" she stammered. Her face contorted into a look of pure fury as she stared at the young woman who stood in front of her. She looked more closely, noting that Mimi didn't look quite as pale anymore, didn't look quite as emaciated as before. Still, Mimi was Mimi and she had to pay for what she did.
Kari reared back and slapped Mimi across the face. Mimi turned back to her and as she was about to punch her, she grabbed Kari's fist. Kari's face twisted in pain and surprise as Mimi's surprisingly strong grip turned her fist to the side, stretching it painfully, then finally flinging it free. Had Kari not been stronger, the force of the throw would have tossed her aside. Seeing that her mission was not complete, Mimi drew her fingers into a fist and threw a punch that hit Kari flat in the mouth. Kari stumbled back in surprise, tripping on a step and falling on her bottom.
Kari sat on the cold, stone floor, holding her bleeding lip, and looking up at Mimi incredulously. Mimi started to walk away, and Kari called after her. "Mimi???" ... Silence. Mimi ignored her. "Mimi." Still nothing. Kari stood up indignantly. "MIMI!" she said, more forcefully. "What the hell happened to you?"
Mimi still ignored her, and Kari's anger flamed dangerously. Finally, she took a running leap and tackled the young woman, turning her over on her back and sitting on her stomach. She reared back her fist and hit her in the mouth.
Mimi's eyes flashed a bright red. "BLOOD RAGE!" she screamed, and Kari's eyes widened to the size of saucers as Mimi's hands lit on fire. Mimi thrust her flaming fists out, trying to burn Kari. Kari screamed and jumped off of her. She scrambled backwards, standing up and looking at Mimi fearfully.
There was the sound of something crashing upstairs. Kari looked up, trying to keep an eye on Mimi but listening to what was going on above and trying to see as well. "What's going on up there?" she wondered aloud.
Mimi only stood as straight as an arrow. She looked up as well, her face softening into a kind of wistful look. "Mimi?" Kari whispered.
Mimi looked at her, a torn expression in her face. She looked - almost afraid. "Mimi!" Kari whispered again, taking a few steps toward. But Mimi could only turn and flee. And Kari followed.
~*~
Sora took the stairs two at a time, hurrying up as fast as she could, holding the newborn Rose tightly in her arms. She had managed to successfully sneak by Matt and Takeru, who were fighting for whatever reason. By the yelling she had heard, she suspected that it had something to do with what had happened with Matt in the chamber...
She thought about it again... It seemed to be for the millionth time. It was completely crazy, and she felt so sorry for poor Matt Ishida.
He had said that he loved her; she wasn't quite sure how to interpret it. Sure, there was the obvious answer... He loved her... But it seemed that he was too panicked, that the whole situation was too spur of the moment. Besides that... He seemed almost upset when he realized what he was doing. He obviously wasn't being rational... And she knew that he was the jealousy that he had toward the special bond that she and Tai had was seeping through, and he thought that this was his chance to grab some happiness for himself. It's not me, she told herself. It's just what his mind thinks he wants. He just wants a girl. Any girl. Not me in particular. She reached the final, central room of the fortress, with the high, gloomy ceilings, the strange, dark tapestries, and the cold atmosphere... and she saw someone... a woman... hurrying down the steps, and a feminine voice shouting after them...
"M-Mimi..." she stuttered, hardly believing her luck. This is what she had snuck away for in the first place, to exact her vengeance for the death of her soulmate. She kissed her baby's head tenderly. "This is for the father you'll never know," she said softly, walking toward the center of the room.
~*~
The warmth... it had almost reached her heart that time... and she knew that he was near... it had to be him in the higher levels of the castle... and it frightened her and made her feel wonderful all at the same time. She felt a surge of power, and yet, something was being taken from her as well... But the power being taken from her was cold, black power, something she wasn't sure she wanted... and the warmth was... beautiful, like white hot fire coursing through her veins, crippling her with it's pleasure...
And the girl was chasing her... a name flashed across her memory as the image imprinted her mind... but she just couldn't remember... Too hard to remember... Too many things to remember...
But now she was away... Although the young girl was still following her, she could feel the cold returning to her, hardening her, making her rigid and strong with an unholy alliance with the evil blackness.
She reached the center of her castle, at long last, and she could see a woman standing in the center of the huge room, staring her down.
"So," the auburn-haired beauty said menacingly. "You finally decided to show your face, huh Mimi?"
~*~
Izzy stood in the center of the room, the dust and splinters of wood from the shattered door having settled all along the floor. His eyes skated across the unfamiliar surroundings, seeing the same creepy tapestries and assorted decorations that he had seen all over the rest of the fortress.
"What is this place?" He wondered aloud, his eyes still scanning the room. It couldn't be a bedroom... There was no bed... Only shelves of books and a large, red, velvety chair positioned in the middle of the back wall. ... "This must be some sort of a throne room," he speculated to himself.
There was a large book sitting on the floor next to the throne-looking chair. His curiosity overtaking him, he walked over to the book and picked it up.
" 'The weakest one...' " he read softly to himself. He looked at the dates on the pages... They had been taken from 6 years ago... right after they had defeated the Dark Masters. "The weakest one?" he repeated. "What could she be talking about?"
He poured himself even deeper into the book, turning pages quickly, but reading the words, slowly realizing that this was not the work of Mimi after all.... "Oh my God..." he whispered. " 'Warp her into something even more hideously stupid and servile than what she truly is...' ??? Oh my God! 'With this weak-minded child made to do my bidding, there is no way that the remaining six can escape their true destiny and the reign of my power.' "
" 'I found the simpering wench sitting by a grave marker, whining in typical fashion to some dead creature that she claimed was smarter than she. It's not difficult to believe. This human... although I don't believe that humans are the smartest creatures ever, this example of humanity is proving to me that the past adversaries of the Digidestined were nothing but fools to let themselves be defeated if destiny has chosen her to be a member of the Chosen Children...' "
Izzy slammed the book shut. He took deep, rapid breaths. "Mimi..." he whispered. "My theory was correct after all..."