"A Stab In The Dark -- Part 3" - by Allora Atwater
A/N: Well, okay here it is finally! This one took even longer than the last (ugghh) so I hope you like it. I want to clear a few things up before you read though; Fujin will be talking normally, with a few exceptions. Why? Well, we all know she's capable of it and it's just too hard for me to characterize her when she screams monosyllabic answers. Nothin' personal, I like her, it's just too much of a hassle and she won't be written as well. And I know some of you wanted to see the actual reunion of the DC, but I really don't feel confident in my ability to portray something like that. So you're stuck with this, which'll be just as good, and answer any questions! Again, sorry for the wait, but here is chapter 3 in all its glory!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Squaresoft's. Okay?
"DISGUSTING." Fujin comments upon entering my less-than-tidy bachelor pad. Maybe she's referring to the unmade bed, the week's worth of laundry on the floor, the overflowing trashcan. I don't know. It's home to me, as it has been for half a year. I kick a can out of the way as we walk in, carefully dodging any booby traps I may have accidentally set for myself. Raijin latches the door behind us.
"What a place man. You actually live here?" Raijin looks slightly incredulous. Damn, I woulda thought being a man and all, he could appreciate my distaste for housekeeping and such. I guess I don't know him as well as I used to.
"Lived." I reply coolly, gesturing for them to have a seat. "As of tonight, I'll be back at Garden, stuffed up in a conformist dorm room."
Fujin unfolds a couple of unmatching beach chairs and she and Raijin have a seat. Apparently, they aren't too impressed with the way I've been living. Admittedly, I haven't had the time to keep the place nice and tidy. I had no friends to impress, I wasn't bringing any women over, and I sure as hell didn't prefer to spend my time milling around this dinky little hell hole. It's too confined for me; I prefer to spend my spare time at my secret hideaway beneath the plank. Before Quistis came into my life, I used to go there every day after work and sit in the sand, just listening to the sounds and inhaling the smells of the sea. I could get away from myself and just not have to think about anything. It was the only place I could clear my head, temporarily relieve the guilt that plagued me. After all I'm only human; I feel remorse just like any other man.
Compared to the stiff restrictions at Garden, my little apartment must seem like a shack to them. They live in a clean, healthy environment, with enough discipline to take care of their respective rooms. Then again, they're blessed with free room and board; they haven't had to make ends meet for the past six months. I have to pay my rent, buy my groceries, maintain my personal hygiene, and still get enough sleep to wake up at the crack of dawn every morning. It's been a tough lifestyle, hardening and exhausting to say the least.
"It's great that you're comin' back to Garden, ya know?" Raijin informs me, resting his feet on a dilapadated old coffee table. "We've really missed ya, the DC just ain't the same without ya."
"Yeah?" I say, feeling a twinge of nostalgia. "How you guys been?"
Fujin folds her hands in her lap. "Like Raijin said, not the same."
"Yeah," Raijin agrees, rubbing his arm. "We've been doin' a good job whippin' everybody in shape an' all, but without you, it ain't as fun. We used to be a posse ya know, best friends for life. And when you weren't around, it was like a job, not a committee."
"We're glad you're coming back." Fujin adds. "It will be more like old times."
I turn away and head towards my inadequate little kitchen, reaching below the sink to pull out a trash bag. I hate having to hide from their words, but I do anyways. I don't understand their devotion, nor do I really deserve it. They act like nothing has happened these past months, like we're still best friends. I thought at first that was what I wanted, to pretend away all the bad and try to banish any misgivings about the past. Forgive and forget. But now my conscience rages at me; they should be angry, they should be resentful. They should hate me for dragging them down, holding them back. I stained their hands with blood, nearly got them killed. Maybe people like me weren't meant to understand compassion and forgiveness. Maybe I really am a heartless fuck.
I shake away the uncertainty; no use feeling this way again. After all, it was the overwhelming wave of failure, the pressure to be something I wasn't, that drove me away from reality. In my quest to become stronger, I succumbed to my own weakness. Walking back into the front room, I notice Fujin and Raijin exchanging whispers, instantly hushed when they realize I'm present. I ignore them and head on over to my bed, throwing heaps of clothes into the bag, ripping the sheets off my mattress and tossing them in too. I have no concept of proper laundering; I don't separate my whites from my darks or pay attention to any special cleaning instructions. Hell, not that I would own anything fancy enough for drycleaning. If you can't throw it in the sink with the dishes, it's too much of a hassle to own.
"Seifer..." Raijin begins while I'm busily amassing my entire wardrobe into the bag. "You alright man? You seem kinda stressed, ya know?"
I shrug. "Man, I don't know about this."
"Know about what?" Fujin asks calmly. I pause, wondering if it's a good idea to be saying this. I know by now that nothing I can say will ever shred the way they think of me, but that's the least of my concerns. I'm worried that if I let my insecurities surface, I won't be able to fight them back down.
"Ehh, just this whole going back to Garden experience." I reply, careful not to say too much. The sun is setting outside, casting shadows in the room. I reach up to tug on the light fixture, the dim bulb flickering on and illuminating the room. To give you an idea, it's kinda like the lighting in a bar; you know, "mood lighting", without putting you in the mood for anything but drinking yourself silly. "Let there be light." I mutter, minus the melodrama.
"You need to get out more, ya know?" Raijin tells me, rising to his feet and folding the chair up, tossing it back in its respected corner. Fujin follows suit, only more graceful about handling my personal stuff. "We should all go out to the pub tonight and celebrate our reunion. Sound like a good idea?"
I mull over the thought for a minute, squandering off to gather my few possessions; a toothbrush, Hyperion, and a notebook I use for scribbling random thoughts. You'd think I'd have more items of value, but really I don't. No keepsakes, no trivial little ornamentals, just the bare necessities. When you're a workaholic coupled with an intense love for sleep, you really don't have time for much else. None of the furniture here belongs to me either, so it looks like I'm off with my bag of clothes and my gunblade.
"Celebrate eh?" I repeat as I flick the switch off in the bathroom. "What'dya have in mind?"
"Ah, nothin' too fancy. Just a couple drinks, cheap food, and good company, ya know? So how 'bout it?"
I heft the bag over my shoulder and head for the door, fumbling to find my keys.
"Let's go then."
Raijin thumps his chest proudly, and Fujin gives him a swift kick in the shins.
"IDIOT."
I laugh at them and Fujin actually blushes.
"SORRY."
I open the door and usher them outside, a rush of frosty air greeting us like a smack in the face. The sunset over the water is gorgeous; the rippling waves reflect sparkling discrepencies of rose, rust, and scarlet. I close my eyes for a beat, searching deep within my memory bank, concentration lacing my brow. I raise my hand towards the sky and cast Holy, opening my eyes in time to see a ball of soft light hover over the ocean and dissipate into a thousand glittering shards. Ha, you want entertainment? Fujin and Raijin turn to me questionably, after the initial surprise of my demonstration.
"Didn't think I had it in me didja?" I grin slyly, securing both locks on the door before leading my friends down the decrepit staircase. Of course, I'll never be able to utilize magic in the way it was intended. It takes too much time and effort for me. The ability comes naturally with some people, who can cast a spell without batting an eyelash. For me, it takes a lot more than the snap of a finger. That's why I rely on my gunblade to get me out of a dire situation.
"You're jus' full of surprises Seifer, ya know?" Raijin comments, shaking his head. Fujin nods in agreement.
"The same as always."
The same? They think I'm still the same egomaniac I was six months ago? Am I? The silvery jangle of my keys is all I offer in reply as we head towards the entrance of the complex. I waltz up to the front desk, my confidantes dogging behind.
"Almasy?" the old man behind the counter squints up at me. "You get evicted yet?"
"Sorry gramps, no such luck. Although I think you'll be pleased to know that I'm moving out, as of this evening."
"Moving out, eh? Dag nammit, I knew I shoulda milked you for all you was worth 'fore somethin' like this reared up..."
I laugh. Mr. Shutey can be pretty entertaining for a senile old geezer.
"Don't worry," I assure him. "I have the keys and this month's rent with me. Consider it a parting gift."
He shakes his head at my offering of 300 gil, full knowing I owe him almost double the amount.
"I must be gettin' soft in my young age..." he mumbles, taking the money anyways and hanging the keys back up on the wall. "What a wonder I let you get away with this crap Almasy..."
"Oh come on Mr. Shutey. My payment technically isn't due until the first of next month, which, by my calculations, is 2 weeks away. So I'm paying for the time I spent, since I'm obviously not planning on being here another night. Really now, if you're such a stickler about this whole rent business, maybe you should enforce a rule about this. Like, giving 2 weeks notice prior to evacuation." Ah yes, charm and skill can get you everywhere in the world.
Mr. Shutey regards me with wry amusement, his shaggy eyebrows drawn together.
"There *is* a rule about giving 2 weeks notice before you just decide to up and leave."
Strike one, dipshit. "Oh... is there?"
"Howzabout you scram and pretend you never saw me, alright Almasy?"
I waste no time. "Yessir, sounds like a plan." I smack the counter for emphasis and turn on a heel, careful not to look back. Hey, no one ever said I was the most thoughtful guy on earth. I would probably benefit from a more... structured plan before I decide to go jumping into things. Oh well, I suppose it'll go on my List of Things To Do eventually.
"What was that all about?" Fujin inquires as we head out the double doors.
"Oh that?" I jerk my thumb towards the front desk. "That's Mr. Shutey. He runs the place. Apparently he's damn glad I'm outta here too."
Don't see why, I think to myself. That shabby dump is overrun with dastardly dockhands who reel in during the wee hours of the night, drunk and dishevled, looking to start a riot. I've always been pretty well mannered, and I've never caused that old man any grief. So I'm the one he decides to begrudge? I can finally empathize with that old saying, 'nice guys finish last'. No fucking wonder.
"So Seifer, I was thinkin' along the lines of the Balamb Pub. What'dya say?"
"Eh," I reply, throwing my belongings into the trunk of our rental car. "Been there, done that. Food's mediocre, drinks ain't that hard, and the women are so-so. I have a small place in mind run by an accquaintance. I'm sure it's our best bet."
"You're the boss." Raijin replies coolly, and I tense up a little. I can't believe he still treats me like his fearless leader. I open the door for Fujin and proceed to hop in the backseat.
"Alright then. Take Balamb to 40th and hang a left. It should be the second building on the right hand side."
I clutch the door handle as Raijin gears up and speeds along the bumpy road. I'm sure it would be wise at this point to fasten my seatbelt, but I don't like the way that feels. The restraint makes me too uncomfortable, like being bound by a ball and chain or something. I've felt the confines of manipulation one too many times, and therefore I've grown to loathe the feel of anything -- or anyone -- tying me down.
Raijin takes a sharp turn and I hear Fujin groan from the front seat.
"SLOW..." she moans loudly, clutching her stomach. I lean forward between the seats, propping my elbows on either side of the modest leather.
"I think the lady here is in danger of spewing up her guts. Might wanna hit the brakes a little Raij."
He complies, slowing down a little as we reach the parking lot. I hop out, a little disoriented from being off my feet; I'm not accustomed to riding along in a car. Especially at Raijin's devil-may-care, bat-outta-hell, get-outta-my-way-or-I'll-run-your-sorry-ass-over pace. Fujin regains composure and we uniformly head towards the entrace of the little no-name hole in the wall.
I feel so alive and empowered in the brisk night. I have my posse with me, my neverending reserve of confidence and pride, and a sense of determination. Tomorrow I'll be going back to Garden, working my ass off to be an elite SeeD, cramming training sessions and study time into my schedule, working on rebuilding a rep for myself... but tonight, ha. It's Saturday night and I plan on getting railed till my liver screams for mercy. All I need is one night of reckless abandon and then I'm off, scot-free, to become an elitist snob.
I hold the door open for my companions, little bells ringing to announce the presence of a much-needed customer. A perky redhead dashes out of the kitchen to seat us.
"Hey Seifer!" she squeaks, straightening her skirt. "Nice to see ya so soon!"
"Business not too good these days Sirina?" I ask as she guides us to our table. The lights are low and cheesy, and there are very few customers here tonight. Most of them are older couples enjoying a quiet night together. I guess all the real partying is taking place back at the pub.
"It's not lookin' up for us." she sighs. "By the way, don't think I've met your friends here."
I step aside and gesture to my left. "Oh yeah, this is Raijin and Fujin, my two friends in this lonely world."
"Pleased to meetcha." she extends a hand to Fujin, then Raijin. "Any friend of Seifer's is a friend of mine. Speaking of which, where's that broad you always drag in here with ya?"
I sit down across from my friends. Fujin folds her hands on top of the table and Raijin shifts in the booth, waiting for me to respond.
"The Instructor?" I reply calmly. "She probably has a date with a stack of paperwork. God knows her job is more important to her than I am. Anyways, you wanna fix us up with a round Siri?"
She winks at me. "The usual?"
"Double shot. Singles for these two."
"Comin' right up." Sirina smiles and disappears into the kitchen once again. I lean back, my arms crossed behind my head.
"This isn't really a place to get drinks, is it?" Fujin raises an eyebrow at me. A few customers have noticed her patch and are trying hard not to seem like they're intrigued. I asked her about that once, about how she felt when onlookers gawked at her physical appearance. She told me that she didn't blame them, that their curiosity was only natural in the face of an oddity they had not yet encountered. I don't see how she can condone that kind of behavior; if I had some type of physcial handicap, I'd raise hell with anyone who dared do a doubletake.
"No," I answer with a smirk. "But like I said, I'm in good with the owners. I can pull a few strings and get us the best of the best."
"So how has it been, workin' out here?" Raijin inquires, leaning forward with interest.
"Not too bad." I drum my fingers on the edge of the table. "It isn't a walk in the park though. You get bossed around a lot, get to play the mule for the big man in charge. But the pay is decent and I work too hard to care for much else. At least now it's over and done with. I get to go back to being a student and trainee."
"Amen to that." Fujin half-smiles at my admission. "We're so happy that you're coming back."
"Yeah, I know, you've told me like, a million times."
We share a small laugh and Sirina arrives with a tray.
"Here ya go!" she chimes, setting down three tall glasses in front of us. "You just tell me if you want more and I'll be happy to fill 'er back up."
"Oh, I think this will do us just fine." I respond, sliding mine in front of me and taking a sip from one of the straws.
Raijin pokes at his. "What's this?"
"This," I begin, taking another sip. "Is called a Mansion Mind Eraser. Try it, it tastes like a chocolate milkshake."
"What's in it?" Fujin presses.
"Oh Hyne, you guys act like I'm gonna poison you. It's Kahlua, Bailey's, and Rum with 7-Up on ice. It's awesome, and it lives up to it's name. C'mon, bottoms up."
I yank the straws out of mine and down it quickly, like a shot. Fujin and Raijin develop a taste for it and begin sucking theirs down too. I never liked the way liquor felt going down; the burning sensation always made me uncomfortable. Tonight is no exception. The alcohol sloshes around in my stomach like fire and brimstone. I spit an ice cube back in my empty glass.
Sirina comes back periodically to refill Raijin's glass. I opt for a second round, but after that my mind is too muddled to remember what day of the week it is. Fujin is a lightweight; she's tipsy after half a glass and still mildly working it down. Raijin is downright plastered, sputtering incoherent phrases and laughing his ass off at the silliest of things. I don't really know about myself; I mean, I'm not outside looking in. I can feel a smile straining my lips, and I sense the peevish glowers the other customers are sending our way. It's only a matter of time before we're the last ones in the place.
I fold my arms over the table and lay my head down on them. Raijin's incessant babbling is giving me a headache. When I force my head back up, I notice Fujin is gone. Great, missing in action. Hope she's not doing anything but paying homage to the porcelain god in the girls' room. I kick Raijin in the shins, seeing as his partner isn't there to do it for me.
"Where'd Fu go?" Raijin waves his hand in the opposite direction, gesturing outside. My eyes follow the movement and see Fujin's back to the window, apparently talking to someone. She nods her head and points inside several times as she speaks. I plant my palms on the table, lifting myself up as best I can.
"I'll be right back Raij. Here," I drop 30 gil on the table. "Make sure you pay Siri when she gets back. And for the love of Hyne, don't drink anything else for the rest of the night."
"Aye cap'ain." he grins, fumbling with a sloppy salute.
I saunter towards the exit, my vision a little blurry with each step; it feels like someone is shaking the earth below me. When I reach the door, I spend a good five beats trying to pull when the lettering by the handle clearly reads "push". Fujin and her little friend seem to notice my distress as I stumble outside, a cold breeze numbing my flaming cheeks. Maybe I'm not as stable as I'd like to think.
"Seifer?" the voice is familiar. "Sweet Shiva, are you drunk too?"
She walks up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, steadying me. Wait, I'm swaying?
"Look at you. What a mess."
My ears feel warm. She runs a finger along my profile, alerting my senses.
"Fujin, you might wanna get the keys from Raijin. It looks like I'm the only one who's sober enough to get us back to Garden."
"AFFIRMATIVE." Fujin replies firmly. I hear the little bells as she opens the door. Funny, they keep ringing long after the door has closed.
After a minute's hesitation I blurt out, "What're you doin' here?"
"Looking for you." Quistis replies, resting her hands on her hips sternly. "You were supposed to be back at Garden hours ago."
I rub the side of my face wearily as we walk towards the car. "Keeping tabs on me now?"
"As a matter of fact I am. If you ever want to succeed, you aren't going to do it by screwing off like this."
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the harsh streetlights.
"I don't need your help Instructor. After all, you didn't seem to care back when I was your student, why should you give a rat's ass now?"
She clutches my arm, her nails digging mercilessly into my bicep.
"We all make mistakes Seifer, and I was hoping now that we've started anew you could forget about the past and concentrate on molding the future. You're very lucky that you've been given a second chance to fulfill your dreams. Not many people in this world are blessed with that luxury, and the ones that are fortunate enough to get that opportunity usually make the most of it."
I pound the fender with my fist.
"I don't fucking care about other people! I'm not other people, I'm me, and I'll do whatever the fuck I want!"
Quistis shakes her head, blinking back tears.
"You better pray to Hyne you forget all of this by sunrise. You're making a complete ass of yourself."
"I don't care about Hyne!" I practically yell, kicking at a broken bottle. "I don't even believe in Hyne!"
"You're losing it Seifer," she whispers sadly. "How can you even say something like that when Hyne has given you so much to be thankful for?"
"Oh really?" I sneer, taking measured steps towards her. "Then where was Hyne when I became the Sorceress' personal bitch slave? Where was Hyne when Galbadia waged war against Balamb?"
My fingers curl into a fist. "Where the *fuck* was Hyne when Ultimecia compressed time?"
Quistis wrinkles her nose at my alcohol-fogged breath, taking a step back and examining me closely.
"If Hyne exists," I finish. "Then he's got a sick sense of humor." We stand in silence for a minute before she turns away to look at the scene unfolding before us. Fujin enlists the help of two bus boys to carry Raijin out to the car, the latter of the two grumbling about how he can walk of his own accord. Fujin proceeds ahead, holding the keys out to Quistis.
"Thank you." she nods, turning back to me. "Get in the car Seifer."
I comply, no longer in the mood to start another fight. I can already tell I'm in enough trouble with her as it is. If I dig myself any deeper into this hole, I'll end up in Esthar.
"I call shotgun," I mutter lamely as I hop in the front seat. Raijin bumps his head before getting situated in the car, groaning a little at his helpers' apologies. Fujin climbs in next to him, helping him fasten his seat belt. Quistis thanks the two bus boys for their assistance and hands them a few gil for their pains. One of them is looking at her the wrong way; I have half a mind to get out of the car and start something with him, but that's just the liquor talking. She slides in the driver's seat and adjusts the settings so she can reach the pedals. The sound of the ignition roaring is enough to split my head in two.
The drive back to Garden is silent, save for Raijin's soft snores. My sinuses are throbbing and I feel slightly lightheaded, but the effects of the alcohol are slowly wearing off. Quistis is staring straight ahead at the road in front of us, her cerulean eyes glassy from unshed tears. I know I hurt her feelings with my recklessness. I'm not the most sensitive guy when it comes to a woman's heart, and I know I should probably say something to ease the blows I dealt her earlier. She's done a lot for me by taking me under her wing and looking out for my wellbeing. I feel like a jerk for taking advantage of that. Imagine that, Seifer Almasy, remorseful over being a jackass. I can't say it's the first time I've ever felt this kind of regret, but I'll admit it's the first time I've ever resolved to do something about it.
"Look..." I begin, putting my hand lightly over hers. "About what I said..."
"Don't worry about it." she responds, sounding almost dejected. "I knew what I was getting into beforehand. I was sure I was bound to be met with a lot of resistance, just like I was when you were my student. But this time, I'm not going to give up and overlook the blossoming desideratum."
"Do you even know what you're saying?" I ask calmly.
"Not really, but I figure it sounds good." she grins softly and I return the gesture, closing my fingers around hers. We both know better than that.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Sorry if that was kinda boring or whatever. I know, not a lot of Quisty in there, sorry! Next chapter: Seifer joins the Garden Festival Committee! ^o^
A/N: Well, okay here it is finally! This one took even longer than the last (ugghh) so I hope you like it. I want to clear a few things up before you read though; Fujin will be talking normally, with a few exceptions. Why? Well, we all know she's capable of it and it's just too hard for me to characterize her when she screams monosyllabic answers. Nothin' personal, I like her, it's just too much of a hassle and she won't be written as well. And I know some of you wanted to see the actual reunion of the DC, but I really don't feel confident in my ability to portray something like that. So you're stuck with this, which'll be just as good, and answer any questions! Again, sorry for the wait, but here is chapter 3 in all its glory!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Squaresoft's. Okay?
"DISGUSTING." Fujin comments upon entering my less-than-tidy bachelor pad. Maybe she's referring to the unmade bed, the week's worth of laundry on the floor, the overflowing trashcan. I don't know. It's home to me, as it has been for half a year. I kick a can out of the way as we walk in, carefully dodging any booby traps I may have accidentally set for myself. Raijin latches the door behind us.
"What a place man. You actually live here?" Raijin looks slightly incredulous. Damn, I woulda thought being a man and all, he could appreciate my distaste for housekeeping and such. I guess I don't know him as well as I used to.
"Lived." I reply coolly, gesturing for them to have a seat. "As of tonight, I'll be back at Garden, stuffed up in a conformist dorm room."
Fujin unfolds a couple of unmatching beach chairs and she and Raijin have a seat. Apparently, they aren't too impressed with the way I've been living. Admittedly, I haven't had the time to keep the place nice and tidy. I had no friends to impress, I wasn't bringing any women over, and I sure as hell didn't prefer to spend my time milling around this dinky little hell hole. It's too confined for me; I prefer to spend my spare time at my secret hideaway beneath the plank. Before Quistis came into my life, I used to go there every day after work and sit in the sand, just listening to the sounds and inhaling the smells of the sea. I could get away from myself and just not have to think about anything. It was the only place I could clear my head, temporarily relieve the guilt that plagued me. After all I'm only human; I feel remorse just like any other man.
Compared to the stiff restrictions at Garden, my little apartment must seem like a shack to them. They live in a clean, healthy environment, with enough discipline to take care of their respective rooms. Then again, they're blessed with free room and board; they haven't had to make ends meet for the past six months. I have to pay my rent, buy my groceries, maintain my personal hygiene, and still get enough sleep to wake up at the crack of dawn every morning. It's been a tough lifestyle, hardening and exhausting to say the least.
"It's great that you're comin' back to Garden, ya know?" Raijin informs me, resting his feet on a dilapadated old coffee table. "We've really missed ya, the DC just ain't the same without ya."
"Yeah?" I say, feeling a twinge of nostalgia. "How you guys been?"
Fujin folds her hands in her lap. "Like Raijin said, not the same."
"Yeah," Raijin agrees, rubbing his arm. "We've been doin' a good job whippin' everybody in shape an' all, but without you, it ain't as fun. We used to be a posse ya know, best friends for life. And when you weren't around, it was like a job, not a committee."
"We're glad you're coming back." Fujin adds. "It will be more like old times."
I turn away and head towards my inadequate little kitchen, reaching below the sink to pull out a trash bag. I hate having to hide from their words, but I do anyways. I don't understand their devotion, nor do I really deserve it. They act like nothing has happened these past months, like we're still best friends. I thought at first that was what I wanted, to pretend away all the bad and try to banish any misgivings about the past. Forgive and forget. But now my conscience rages at me; they should be angry, they should be resentful. They should hate me for dragging them down, holding them back. I stained their hands with blood, nearly got them killed. Maybe people like me weren't meant to understand compassion and forgiveness. Maybe I really am a heartless fuck.
I shake away the uncertainty; no use feeling this way again. After all, it was the overwhelming wave of failure, the pressure to be something I wasn't, that drove me away from reality. In my quest to become stronger, I succumbed to my own weakness. Walking back into the front room, I notice Fujin and Raijin exchanging whispers, instantly hushed when they realize I'm present. I ignore them and head on over to my bed, throwing heaps of clothes into the bag, ripping the sheets off my mattress and tossing them in too. I have no concept of proper laundering; I don't separate my whites from my darks or pay attention to any special cleaning instructions. Hell, not that I would own anything fancy enough for drycleaning. If you can't throw it in the sink with the dishes, it's too much of a hassle to own.
"Seifer..." Raijin begins while I'm busily amassing my entire wardrobe into the bag. "You alright man? You seem kinda stressed, ya know?"
I shrug. "Man, I don't know about this."
"Know about what?" Fujin asks calmly. I pause, wondering if it's a good idea to be saying this. I know by now that nothing I can say will ever shred the way they think of me, but that's the least of my concerns. I'm worried that if I let my insecurities surface, I won't be able to fight them back down.
"Ehh, just this whole going back to Garden experience." I reply, careful not to say too much. The sun is setting outside, casting shadows in the room. I reach up to tug on the light fixture, the dim bulb flickering on and illuminating the room. To give you an idea, it's kinda like the lighting in a bar; you know, "mood lighting", without putting you in the mood for anything but drinking yourself silly. "Let there be light." I mutter, minus the melodrama.
"You need to get out more, ya know?" Raijin tells me, rising to his feet and folding the chair up, tossing it back in its respected corner. Fujin follows suit, only more graceful about handling my personal stuff. "We should all go out to the pub tonight and celebrate our reunion. Sound like a good idea?"
I mull over the thought for a minute, squandering off to gather my few possessions; a toothbrush, Hyperion, and a notebook I use for scribbling random thoughts. You'd think I'd have more items of value, but really I don't. No keepsakes, no trivial little ornamentals, just the bare necessities. When you're a workaholic coupled with an intense love for sleep, you really don't have time for much else. None of the furniture here belongs to me either, so it looks like I'm off with my bag of clothes and my gunblade.
"Celebrate eh?" I repeat as I flick the switch off in the bathroom. "What'dya have in mind?"
"Ah, nothin' too fancy. Just a couple drinks, cheap food, and good company, ya know? So how 'bout it?"
I heft the bag over my shoulder and head for the door, fumbling to find my keys.
"Let's go then."
Raijin thumps his chest proudly, and Fujin gives him a swift kick in the shins.
"IDIOT."
I laugh at them and Fujin actually blushes.
"SORRY."
I open the door and usher them outside, a rush of frosty air greeting us like a smack in the face. The sunset over the water is gorgeous; the rippling waves reflect sparkling discrepencies of rose, rust, and scarlet. I close my eyes for a beat, searching deep within my memory bank, concentration lacing my brow. I raise my hand towards the sky and cast Holy, opening my eyes in time to see a ball of soft light hover over the ocean and dissipate into a thousand glittering shards. Ha, you want entertainment? Fujin and Raijin turn to me questionably, after the initial surprise of my demonstration.
"Didn't think I had it in me didja?" I grin slyly, securing both locks on the door before leading my friends down the decrepit staircase. Of course, I'll never be able to utilize magic in the way it was intended. It takes too much time and effort for me. The ability comes naturally with some people, who can cast a spell without batting an eyelash. For me, it takes a lot more than the snap of a finger. That's why I rely on my gunblade to get me out of a dire situation.
"You're jus' full of surprises Seifer, ya know?" Raijin comments, shaking his head. Fujin nods in agreement.
"The same as always."
The same? They think I'm still the same egomaniac I was six months ago? Am I? The silvery jangle of my keys is all I offer in reply as we head towards the entrance of the complex. I waltz up to the front desk, my confidantes dogging behind.
"Almasy?" the old man behind the counter squints up at me. "You get evicted yet?"
"Sorry gramps, no such luck. Although I think you'll be pleased to know that I'm moving out, as of this evening."
"Moving out, eh? Dag nammit, I knew I shoulda milked you for all you was worth 'fore somethin' like this reared up..."
I laugh. Mr. Shutey can be pretty entertaining for a senile old geezer.
"Don't worry," I assure him. "I have the keys and this month's rent with me. Consider it a parting gift."
He shakes his head at my offering of 300 gil, full knowing I owe him almost double the amount.
"I must be gettin' soft in my young age..." he mumbles, taking the money anyways and hanging the keys back up on the wall. "What a wonder I let you get away with this crap Almasy..."
"Oh come on Mr. Shutey. My payment technically isn't due until the first of next month, which, by my calculations, is 2 weeks away. So I'm paying for the time I spent, since I'm obviously not planning on being here another night. Really now, if you're such a stickler about this whole rent business, maybe you should enforce a rule about this. Like, giving 2 weeks notice prior to evacuation." Ah yes, charm and skill can get you everywhere in the world.
Mr. Shutey regards me with wry amusement, his shaggy eyebrows drawn together.
"There *is* a rule about giving 2 weeks notice before you just decide to up and leave."
Strike one, dipshit. "Oh... is there?"
"Howzabout you scram and pretend you never saw me, alright Almasy?"
I waste no time. "Yessir, sounds like a plan." I smack the counter for emphasis and turn on a heel, careful not to look back. Hey, no one ever said I was the most thoughtful guy on earth. I would probably benefit from a more... structured plan before I decide to go jumping into things. Oh well, I suppose it'll go on my List of Things To Do eventually.
"What was that all about?" Fujin inquires as we head out the double doors.
"Oh that?" I jerk my thumb towards the front desk. "That's Mr. Shutey. He runs the place. Apparently he's damn glad I'm outta here too."
Don't see why, I think to myself. That shabby dump is overrun with dastardly dockhands who reel in during the wee hours of the night, drunk and dishevled, looking to start a riot. I've always been pretty well mannered, and I've never caused that old man any grief. So I'm the one he decides to begrudge? I can finally empathize with that old saying, 'nice guys finish last'. No fucking wonder.
"So Seifer, I was thinkin' along the lines of the Balamb Pub. What'dya say?"
"Eh," I reply, throwing my belongings into the trunk of our rental car. "Been there, done that. Food's mediocre, drinks ain't that hard, and the women are so-so. I have a small place in mind run by an accquaintance. I'm sure it's our best bet."
"You're the boss." Raijin replies coolly, and I tense up a little. I can't believe he still treats me like his fearless leader. I open the door for Fujin and proceed to hop in the backseat.
"Alright then. Take Balamb to 40th and hang a left. It should be the second building on the right hand side."
I clutch the door handle as Raijin gears up and speeds along the bumpy road. I'm sure it would be wise at this point to fasten my seatbelt, but I don't like the way that feels. The restraint makes me too uncomfortable, like being bound by a ball and chain or something. I've felt the confines of manipulation one too many times, and therefore I've grown to loathe the feel of anything -- or anyone -- tying me down.
Raijin takes a sharp turn and I hear Fujin groan from the front seat.
"SLOW..." she moans loudly, clutching her stomach. I lean forward between the seats, propping my elbows on either side of the modest leather.
"I think the lady here is in danger of spewing up her guts. Might wanna hit the brakes a little Raij."
He complies, slowing down a little as we reach the parking lot. I hop out, a little disoriented from being off my feet; I'm not accustomed to riding along in a car. Especially at Raijin's devil-may-care, bat-outta-hell, get-outta-my-way-or-I'll-run-your-sorry-ass-over pace. Fujin regains composure and we uniformly head towards the entrace of the little no-name hole in the wall.
I feel so alive and empowered in the brisk night. I have my posse with me, my neverending reserve of confidence and pride, and a sense of determination. Tomorrow I'll be going back to Garden, working my ass off to be an elite SeeD, cramming training sessions and study time into my schedule, working on rebuilding a rep for myself... but tonight, ha. It's Saturday night and I plan on getting railed till my liver screams for mercy. All I need is one night of reckless abandon and then I'm off, scot-free, to become an elitist snob.
I hold the door open for my companions, little bells ringing to announce the presence of a much-needed customer. A perky redhead dashes out of the kitchen to seat us.
"Hey Seifer!" she squeaks, straightening her skirt. "Nice to see ya so soon!"
"Business not too good these days Sirina?" I ask as she guides us to our table. The lights are low and cheesy, and there are very few customers here tonight. Most of them are older couples enjoying a quiet night together. I guess all the real partying is taking place back at the pub.
"It's not lookin' up for us." she sighs. "By the way, don't think I've met your friends here."
I step aside and gesture to my left. "Oh yeah, this is Raijin and Fujin, my two friends in this lonely world."
"Pleased to meetcha." she extends a hand to Fujin, then Raijin. "Any friend of Seifer's is a friend of mine. Speaking of which, where's that broad you always drag in here with ya?"
I sit down across from my friends. Fujin folds her hands on top of the table and Raijin shifts in the booth, waiting for me to respond.
"The Instructor?" I reply calmly. "She probably has a date with a stack of paperwork. God knows her job is more important to her than I am. Anyways, you wanna fix us up with a round Siri?"
She winks at me. "The usual?"
"Double shot. Singles for these two."
"Comin' right up." Sirina smiles and disappears into the kitchen once again. I lean back, my arms crossed behind my head.
"This isn't really a place to get drinks, is it?" Fujin raises an eyebrow at me. A few customers have noticed her patch and are trying hard not to seem like they're intrigued. I asked her about that once, about how she felt when onlookers gawked at her physical appearance. She told me that she didn't blame them, that their curiosity was only natural in the face of an oddity they had not yet encountered. I don't see how she can condone that kind of behavior; if I had some type of physcial handicap, I'd raise hell with anyone who dared do a doubletake.
"No," I answer with a smirk. "But like I said, I'm in good with the owners. I can pull a few strings and get us the best of the best."
"So how has it been, workin' out here?" Raijin inquires, leaning forward with interest.
"Not too bad." I drum my fingers on the edge of the table. "It isn't a walk in the park though. You get bossed around a lot, get to play the mule for the big man in charge. But the pay is decent and I work too hard to care for much else. At least now it's over and done with. I get to go back to being a student and trainee."
"Amen to that." Fujin half-smiles at my admission. "We're so happy that you're coming back."
"Yeah, I know, you've told me like, a million times."
We share a small laugh and Sirina arrives with a tray.
"Here ya go!" she chimes, setting down three tall glasses in front of us. "You just tell me if you want more and I'll be happy to fill 'er back up."
"Oh, I think this will do us just fine." I respond, sliding mine in front of me and taking a sip from one of the straws.
Raijin pokes at his. "What's this?"
"This," I begin, taking another sip. "Is called a Mansion Mind Eraser. Try it, it tastes like a chocolate milkshake."
"What's in it?" Fujin presses.
"Oh Hyne, you guys act like I'm gonna poison you. It's Kahlua, Bailey's, and Rum with 7-Up on ice. It's awesome, and it lives up to it's name. C'mon, bottoms up."
I yank the straws out of mine and down it quickly, like a shot. Fujin and Raijin develop a taste for it and begin sucking theirs down too. I never liked the way liquor felt going down; the burning sensation always made me uncomfortable. Tonight is no exception. The alcohol sloshes around in my stomach like fire and brimstone. I spit an ice cube back in my empty glass.
Sirina comes back periodically to refill Raijin's glass. I opt for a second round, but after that my mind is too muddled to remember what day of the week it is. Fujin is a lightweight; she's tipsy after half a glass and still mildly working it down. Raijin is downright plastered, sputtering incoherent phrases and laughing his ass off at the silliest of things. I don't really know about myself; I mean, I'm not outside looking in. I can feel a smile straining my lips, and I sense the peevish glowers the other customers are sending our way. It's only a matter of time before we're the last ones in the place.
I fold my arms over the table and lay my head down on them. Raijin's incessant babbling is giving me a headache. When I force my head back up, I notice Fujin is gone. Great, missing in action. Hope she's not doing anything but paying homage to the porcelain god in the girls' room. I kick Raijin in the shins, seeing as his partner isn't there to do it for me.
"Where'd Fu go?" Raijin waves his hand in the opposite direction, gesturing outside. My eyes follow the movement and see Fujin's back to the window, apparently talking to someone. She nods her head and points inside several times as she speaks. I plant my palms on the table, lifting myself up as best I can.
"I'll be right back Raij. Here," I drop 30 gil on the table. "Make sure you pay Siri when she gets back. And for the love of Hyne, don't drink anything else for the rest of the night."
"Aye cap'ain." he grins, fumbling with a sloppy salute.
I saunter towards the exit, my vision a little blurry with each step; it feels like someone is shaking the earth below me. When I reach the door, I spend a good five beats trying to pull when the lettering by the handle clearly reads "push". Fujin and her little friend seem to notice my distress as I stumble outside, a cold breeze numbing my flaming cheeks. Maybe I'm not as stable as I'd like to think.
"Seifer?" the voice is familiar. "Sweet Shiva, are you drunk too?"
She walks up to me and puts her hands on my shoulders, steadying me. Wait, I'm swaying?
"Look at you. What a mess."
My ears feel warm. She runs a finger along my profile, alerting my senses.
"Fujin, you might wanna get the keys from Raijin. It looks like I'm the only one who's sober enough to get us back to Garden."
"AFFIRMATIVE." Fujin replies firmly. I hear the little bells as she opens the door. Funny, they keep ringing long after the door has closed.
After a minute's hesitation I blurt out, "What're you doin' here?"
"Looking for you." Quistis replies, resting her hands on her hips sternly. "You were supposed to be back at Garden hours ago."
I rub the side of my face wearily as we walk towards the car. "Keeping tabs on me now?"
"As a matter of fact I am. If you ever want to succeed, you aren't going to do it by screwing off like this."
I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the harsh streetlights.
"I don't need your help Instructor. After all, you didn't seem to care back when I was your student, why should you give a rat's ass now?"
She clutches my arm, her nails digging mercilessly into my bicep.
"We all make mistakes Seifer, and I was hoping now that we've started anew you could forget about the past and concentrate on molding the future. You're very lucky that you've been given a second chance to fulfill your dreams. Not many people in this world are blessed with that luxury, and the ones that are fortunate enough to get that opportunity usually make the most of it."
I pound the fender with my fist.
"I don't fucking care about other people! I'm not other people, I'm me, and I'll do whatever the fuck I want!"
Quistis shakes her head, blinking back tears.
"You better pray to Hyne you forget all of this by sunrise. You're making a complete ass of yourself."
"I don't care about Hyne!" I practically yell, kicking at a broken bottle. "I don't even believe in Hyne!"
"You're losing it Seifer," she whispers sadly. "How can you even say something like that when Hyne has given you so much to be thankful for?"
"Oh really?" I sneer, taking measured steps towards her. "Then where was Hyne when I became the Sorceress' personal bitch slave? Where was Hyne when Galbadia waged war against Balamb?"
My fingers curl into a fist. "Where the *fuck* was Hyne when Ultimecia compressed time?"
Quistis wrinkles her nose at my alcohol-fogged breath, taking a step back and examining me closely.
"If Hyne exists," I finish. "Then he's got a sick sense of humor." We stand in silence for a minute before she turns away to look at the scene unfolding before us. Fujin enlists the help of two bus boys to carry Raijin out to the car, the latter of the two grumbling about how he can walk of his own accord. Fujin proceeds ahead, holding the keys out to Quistis.
"Thank you." she nods, turning back to me. "Get in the car Seifer."
I comply, no longer in the mood to start another fight. I can already tell I'm in enough trouble with her as it is. If I dig myself any deeper into this hole, I'll end up in Esthar.
"I call shotgun," I mutter lamely as I hop in the front seat. Raijin bumps his head before getting situated in the car, groaning a little at his helpers' apologies. Fujin climbs in next to him, helping him fasten his seat belt. Quistis thanks the two bus boys for their assistance and hands them a few gil for their pains. One of them is looking at her the wrong way; I have half a mind to get out of the car and start something with him, but that's just the liquor talking. She slides in the driver's seat and adjusts the settings so she can reach the pedals. The sound of the ignition roaring is enough to split my head in two.
The drive back to Garden is silent, save for Raijin's soft snores. My sinuses are throbbing and I feel slightly lightheaded, but the effects of the alcohol are slowly wearing off. Quistis is staring straight ahead at the road in front of us, her cerulean eyes glassy from unshed tears. I know I hurt her feelings with my recklessness. I'm not the most sensitive guy when it comes to a woman's heart, and I know I should probably say something to ease the blows I dealt her earlier. She's done a lot for me by taking me under her wing and looking out for my wellbeing. I feel like a jerk for taking advantage of that. Imagine that, Seifer Almasy, remorseful over being a jackass. I can't say it's the first time I've ever felt this kind of regret, but I'll admit it's the first time I've ever resolved to do something about it.
"Look..." I begin, putting my hand lightly over hers. "About what I said..."
"Don't worry about it." she responds, sounding almost dejected. "I knew what I was getting into beforehand. I was sure I was bound to be met with a lot of resistance, just like I was when you were my student. But this time, I'm not going to give up and overlook the blossoming desideratum."
"Do you even know what you're saying?" I ask calmly.
"Not really, but I figure it sounds good." she grins softly and I return the gesture, closing my fingers around hers. We both know better than that.
To Be Continued...
A/N: Sorry if that was kinda boring or whatever. I know, not a lot of Quisty in there, sorry! Next chapter: Seifer joins the Garden Festival Committee! ^o^