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For more of my work: http://jane.crimescene.org/~wench/

Dedication: To everyone who has been waiting for more of this one while I was beginning "Slayer Senshi"

Heart and Soul (part 3)

By C.D. Hackett

Rupert was stunned; his spirit reached out for hers. His ghostly limbs passed through her more viscous ones.

"Jenny," his eyes shone with a mixture of disbelief, love and tears, "I don't understand. Why am I still here on this plane of existence? Why can't I --" His voice broke and he whispered painfully, "Touch you?"

"Oh Rupert," her voice was filled with longing, "It's all my fault."

******

"Oh Giles," Buffy began to sob brokenly, "No. No!"

Willow moved to comfort her when she swayed dizzily. Spike supported his wife and comfortingly rubbed her stomach, feeling an outpouring of love as their child moved.

"Love, I know you're in shock, but you have to center yourself." He pressed his lips to her fevered brow, "Giles wouldn't want our baby endangered by grief."

"I know, I know. But he was my father too."

"And mine," sobbed Anya.

The group huddled together, drawing comfort from one another.

******

Time passed as if in seconds. His wonderful family moved as if they were broken. Shattered people working like puppets. Little time for thought, or emotion. The numbness enveloped them like a thick fog.

Willow was in the hospital being monitored. The baby was due in just a few weeks and Spike and the others were afraid that something might go wrong. When the coroner had arrived to remove the body, Willow had collapsed.

The redheaded Witch had always been the Pollyanna of the group, finding good things in even the darkest moments. She couldn't find anything good in this though.

(*)Oh Goddess, am I so horrible that I am wishing it had been a vampire who'd done this? At least then, Giles would still be with us.(*)

"Will," Anya pushed open the door and sat on the bed beside her friend, "I've just lost Giles. I can't lose you too. Besides, I need you to give me a crash course on impending motherhood."

The petite ex-demon began to cry. Her hot, salty tears streamed down her face, pelting Willow.

"Hey," Willow reached out and hugged Anya, "Don't try to drown me then."

Startled, Anya began to laugh and then cry in earnest as she and Willow held each other. Shaking like leaves in a windstorm.

******

"Jenny, why the Hell am I following around my body? And how can whatever this is, be your fault?"

"If it had not been for me, Willow would not have followed in my footsteps. Whatever you want to call her, Witch, techno-pagan, Sorceress. she would not have become what she is if she had not accessed my files after Angelus killed me."

"Nonsense, it's a gift in her bloodlines. We could have never stopped her development and I, for one, would not have wanted to. She's been an asset to us all the more as she's grown into her powers."

"But Rupert, you don't realize what has happened to you."

"Then tell me. Don't keep it from me."

"You're trapped. Do you see that crystalline cord?"

He looked around and examined himself, "Yes."

Jenny wiped a wayward tear from her eye, "You are permanently anchored to your body. That cord means that you cannot enter the afterlife. It would have prevented a demon from inhabiting your form had you been turned, but it stalls you in death. You are in limbo. A restless spirit unable to fully cross over."

"What are the ramifications of this?"

"I don't know."

******

Xander looked with horror at Amy. She was like an updated model of Dru. Her hair hanging down, her eyes crazed, her fangs gleaming.

"You did this to me!" She threw Xander across the table, "You let me die. You let them turn me! How can you live with yourself, Alexander Harris? How?"

He struggled to his feet, "I couldn't kill you. I thought Buffy and the rest of us would be able to save you. Honestly, Amy. I didn't want this to happen to you."

"Better to me than to your personal demon," her mouth curled into a sardonic smile, "No, she and that Tara and Willow finally turned me back into myself. I was so happy to be alive and then, in a matter of months, I was dead! All because of you," her finger jabbed him in the chest as she backed him into a corner."

"You couldn't save me. You watched as Faith killed Oz because you couldn't bring yourself to kill her. You were more interested in having sex than in being there for Giles. There has been so much death in your life and you always fail the people you want to protect. I remember Jesse. Probably more than you do. I had a crush on him for years and if you'd died instead of him, maybe my life wouldn't have ended like this!" Amy snarled, "You're worthless and weak. You don't deserve to live."

Her hands began choking him. Xander struggled, unwillingly flashing back to the night he'd lost his virginity. That's why he couldn't kill Faith. Everything Amy accused him of was true. He stopped fighting and offered her his neck.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Anya was just home from the hospital when she heard screaming and hurried into the bedroom.

"Xander."

He bolted up in bed, sweating profusely. Anya rested her hand on his forehead, "You were having the Amy nightmare again, weren't you?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

******

Buffy walked through the cemetery, feeling the sun beat down on her. Trying to melt her icy core. It could not. She lowered herself into a sitting position and laid her head against the smoothness of the cool headstone.

"Hi Mom," she began, "It's been awhile since I was here and I'm sorry." She began mechanically weeding the grave as she continued to speak, "So now I've lost Giles. And you and Dad. My world is falling apart, Mom."

The Slayer re-positioned herself, drawing her knees up to her chin as she hugged her legs, "I'm just getting so tired. I am the oldest Slayer in recorded history and I don't know how much longer I can do this."

She cried softly, not even aware of her own whispering, "I can't do this anymore."

******

"Oh my bloody Christ!" Rupert screamed.

Jenny was helpless. There was nothing that she could do to soothe him. They had begun to discern the painful ramifications of his anchored soul.

Even though his body was dead, Rupert still experienced pain. As the autopsy was occurring, his spirit flickered in and out as he shrieked with pain. Jenny stayed with him, grimacing as the coroner sliced him open, pushing open the ribcage to examine Giles' internal organs.

Rupert could not control the howling moans that issued from him.

The entire universe was one of pain.

******

TO BE CONTINUED