Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Higher Ground and I don't do this to make $$$!
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To love at all is to be vulnerable
-c.s. lewis
Scott and Shelby Unlimited
Chapter 7
When Scott went to get Shelby from the river to tell her that they needed to get moving, she had reluctantly come with him. Scott was confused because they way she had been acting towards him and what she put in that letter made no sense whatsoever. The letter was full of love and admiration, but Shelby was acting as she usually did. Sarcastic and angry. Shelby groaned as she pulled on the heavy pack.
"Alright." He sighed "Let's get moving. We're running out of daylight."
"Scott it's maybe a little past noon. We are in no way running out of daylight."
"Look, Shelby, every minute counts! You may not care about this hike and our grades, but I do! And I'm not going to let you ruin this for me. For us! We have to prove to Peter that we can do this."
"But we can't!" Shelby said starting to walk.
"That's what he's expecting us to think! We have to work as a team, and we'll get through this. We just have to learn to get along without fighting every 2 seconds and we'll be okay."
"That'll be the day! The day when we can do anything together without arguing will be the day when pigs can fly!. It's impossible, Scott. You and I....we're like cats and dogs. We get along for maybe an instant in time, and the rest of the time we're arguing about SOMETHING!"
"We CAN get along, Shel. We just have to work at it. It is possible." Shelby stopped suddenly and brushed a strand of blonde hair out of her eyes. She turned and looked at Scott, then rolled her eyes.
"Would you STOP acting like Mr. Rogers! If you haven't noticed, we aren't on Sesame Street, Scott! We're in the middle of nowhere and you are trying to preach at me here!"
"I'm just trying to get you to believe in yourself! In us! In us as a team! I'm getting the feeling that I need to believe in you, here! You're not doing it for yourself, I'm pretty sure your PARENTS aren't doing it! And I'm also damn sure those guys on the streets didn't believe in you. I'm sorry, Shel. I'm sorry, but I have hope for you. I wish you would either accept it, or have some hope for yourself, because you're looking in all the wrong places!"
Shelby just stood there for a minute. Taking in everything he had just said to her. First she felt bad for making him angry, and then anger boiled over in her stomach to replace that feeling. Her eyes welled up with tears. "You want me to have hope?!" she yelled angrily. "You want me to have hope, Scott? Hope for what? I don't have hope for anything because I don't have anything to hope for! You have college....and FOOTBALL...and a family at home....I HAVE NOTHING! I have no future, I have no past worth looking at.....All I HAVE is right now! So why don't you take some of your own advice and have hope in yourself. Forget about me. There's nothing to hope for."
Scott looked at her, his head tilted. He had never heard her talk like this before. When he had needed her, back when all this Elaine crap went down, she had been there for him. She had known all the right things to say to him. She had told him it wasn't his fault, she had told him everything would work out, she had totally understood him. She had kept his secret. She had been the one to give him hope, and now, he was trying to give it back to her. She needed it more than he ever did, and she wouldn't take it. And there wasn't a darn thing he could do about it. He couldn't fore it on her. All he could do was offer it and hope she made the right decision about it. He wanted her to have the same hope he had given to her, but he didn't know how to give it to her. He had no idea what to say, what to do that would make her believe in him again. "Shelby, I.....I....know this is going to sound corny......but you have a lot of things to hope for. I mean, you have this school. You have your friends. Your friends here, and at home...we all believe in you. You're smart, you're funny-"
"My mission in LIFE. To be funny." She said sarcastically.
"Let me finish." He said raising a finger and shifting his weight to his left foot. "You're assertive, and.....you're.....you're beautiful."
"Oh THAT was so beautiful, Scott." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes. "Mind if I go puke now?"
"Fine. You don't have to listen to what I have to say, and you don't have to believe me. I can't make you. But at least you know what I think of you. What everybody else thinks about you. I love you, Shel, and you don't have to believe me, or feel the same way about me, but it's never going to change. Never. There's nothing you are ever going to do or say that is going to make me change my mind about you. We've been through so much together.....how can you not see how I feel?" he asked in a pleading voice. He reached out his hand and touched her arm in a gesture letting her know he wanted to make up, but she jerked away and glared at him.
"You know how I feel about you, Scott. But right now....there's nothing you can do for me. I just need....I just need to figure this out on my own. Do you understand? We've been through this already."
"Yeah...yeah, I guess you're right. But Shelby, I want you to say you forgive me. Once and for all. Forgive me for being a jerk, for not bein there for you when you most needed me, for all the names I called you before I really knew you, for everything I've ever done to you, I want you to forgive me for it and let's forget about it. Like starting over again, just we'll start over together this time." She looked at him for a long time.
"Just.....can we talk about this later?"
"I just want a simple yes or no. Either you forgive me or you don't. Please just tell me quickly. It's not fair to leave me hanging like this." She nodded and tried to force a smile, but she wasn't successful. She took a step forward and took his hand in hers. He was so warm.
"Scott, I....I do forgive you, but I want you to forgive me too. Look, I'm sorry I haven't been the nicest person to be around theses last few days, and I hate it. I just don't want you to be mad at me for it. I'm going through a rough time right now. Don't ask me why because I don't even know. I'm doing the best I can with what little pride I have left after being at this school. I promise...soon...I'll get myself out of this little hole I've been in and start paying more attention to us. I just don't want you to ever think....even when I act sarcastic and rude, that I don't love you. Because I do. I just have a hard time saying it..or showing it or whatever." He had been looking intensley into her blue eyes. When she finished he nodded and gave her hand a quick squeeze. Silence. "We better get moving."
He nodded. For the next few hours she would feel him gazing at her constantly during the hike. She looked over at him.
"WHAT?!" she laughed and looked away. "Why are you looking at me like that?! You look like I hurt you or something."
"I'm just worried about you. That's all." He said and ran a hand through his hair.
"Well, please don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'm a tough girl. Surely you know that by now."
"Telling me not to worry about you is like telling me not to breathe." He said quietly.
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Hey guys, sorry this took me soooooo freakin long! I have been so busy! I have two things to ask you guys. 1. Can anybody see the pictures I put at the top of the stories? I've downloaded pictures that go with my story line and I don't know if u can c them when I post. 2. What do you guys want me to do? Post shorter chapters more frequently or longer chapters less frequently? I'm pressed for time, so just let me know which one you guys want and I'll try to do it, k?? Thanx!!! Plus...all you Scott and Shelby fans...I am the biggest fan of those two in the world, and even if I do break them up it'll only be for like 2 seconds! I TOTALLY plan on keeping them together in the end! Scott and Shelby are the only names that go together anyway......
~*Bee*~