Chapter Twelve
I rested in the infirmary quietly. I finally stopped bleeding an hour ago, and I was improving. It wasn't only the injuries inflicted when I was given the vision, it was the information that I perceived.
If it was right, Seifer was still alive. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Was the vision of the past, present, or the future? I was seventeen now, but when I was younger, I had dreams that my father was still alive. In the dreams, he'd came back for me and my mom, and we'd be happy.
Well, he's alive, why won't I feel happy? The only possibility I could think of was that I've grown to realize over the years I had to depend on myself and my closest allies. I had unknowingly learned that those dreams would never happen. But new dreams had filled the void.
I actually had a destiny. Somewhat.
" Matthew," a refreshing voice said. I glanced over to see Caitlin.
" How are you feeling?" she stroked my face. Personally I felt like shit.
" I'm doing okay," I replied.
" I'm glad. I hope you can come to the inauguration party tonight. I don't want to dance alone," she tugged gently on my hand.
" I passed the field test?" I said, surprised.
" Technically you did pass the test by finding the guardian force. But it turned out that the weak guardian force everyone thought was there, was really much stronger. So everyone that helped drive it away was passed, including me," Caitlin replied.
" Aww, you fought for me? That's so sweet," I laughed.
" You know I'd do anything for you," she smiled then slapped my arm playfully, " Even though you didn't wait for Trepe to give you instructions!"
" I've been one to follow my heart," I kissed her cheek. She blushed slightly.
" Now you better get your rest, because tonight I want to dance. And you're dancing with me, like it or not," Caitlin ordered.
" I'm leaving tomorrow," I said.
" Leaving? Why?" she said, her beautiful aquamarine eyes widening.
" I know he's alive– and I'm going to find him," I replied. She knew who I was talking about.
" But you haven't seen him since you were a baby. You don't even know what he looks like. What makes you think he's alive?" she said.
" When I was on that cliff, the creature gave me a vision," I explained, " I saw through his eyes and I want to go find him."
" Oh Matthew. I know you want it so badly for him to be alive, but he's not. You were fighting and the monster wanted to hurt you more than physically. Besides, you might end up dead."
" No, I know what I saw. If he's in trouble, I will go save him. He's probably the only one who thinks I won't end up a lunatic, like almost everyone here would think if they knew my real last name."
" I don't!" she said.
" I know you don't. Let's not think about it right now. Tonight's going to be my last night here before I go, so let's go to that party, okay?"
" All right."
---
Later that night, Squall had came to my dorm. I was surprised. Rinoa's old friends were usually distant to me, because I had forced them away a little more every year. I didn't want their sympathy. Or whatever else they had to offer.
" I heard about the incident at the cliffs. There's a lot that's been spreading around. I'm here to stop the gossip and find out what really happened," Squall leapt to business first, as usual.
" Well, not much to tell. I fought the GF, and lost," I lied.
" Katrina says he did something to you," Squall saw through it.
" Yeah, he lifted me into the air while I was fighting him," I replied, " What exactly did Katrina tell you?"
" Look Matt, you had been playing games ever since you came here three years old. You keep hiding secrets from everyone, but I already know most of them. There's no purpose in going out on your own," he advised.
" Who told you about me going out on my own? Since when is it any of your business?" I said.
" It is the Garden's business, so it's mine also. Stay out of trouble," he said.
" Of course," I flopped down casually on my bed and started reading Kiros's old weapon magazine.
" It's a shame to see that Rinoa's life was wasted," Squall angrily walked towards the door.
" And you wonder why she left?" I snapped back. Squall turned and scowled. He was about to say something, but he just went out the door.
---
Walking through the doors of the inauguration party, I searched for Caitlin. She stood near the window, and the lights made her emerald dress glisten. Her auburn hair was let down and it flowed down to her shoulders. Sapphire eyes made her seem even more divine.
She smiled at me and we came to each other in the middle of the room. She offered her hand and we danced.
The night was full of spinning and Caitlin's lovely face smiling at me. Neither of us spoke, but it seemed that we understood each other better. As the fireworks shot off, blazing the bland sky with burning colors, people stopped to awe, but we continued dancing. The fireworks shone in Caitlin's eyes and it was one of the remarkable nights of my life.
" I don't want this night to end. Don't let it end," Caitlin rested her head on my shoulder.
" Wouldn't it be great if it was that simple? To freeze time and leave a moment forever," I smiled.
" Impossible though. Maybe that's why some things will never be forgotten. A moment can only last a short time, but the feelings will linger in the memory for so long," she gazed up at me.
" I'll always remember," I promised.
" Me too, because I'll never be able to let go of the memory," she leaned on me as we slow danced.
" You won't have to," I said, " I plan on being by your side for a very long time."
" Is that supposed to a proposal, Matt Almasy?" she giggled.
" I hope. What about you?"
" I've been wishing for years that you would hope. Our lives are changing for the better, Matthew, and I want us to be there for each other. To protect each other, to celebrate life, and to grow old together."
" And when we grow old, I'll be there to wipe the drool off your face too," I smirked.
" Hey. Who says it won't be the other way around? You'll probably be the one to break your back," she laughed.
" See? We're already arguing," I chuckled.
" Gotta take the bad with the good," she said.
" Who says it's not fun to debate with you? You look so cute when you're angry," I pinched her cheek gently.
" Even when I'm old and wrinkled?" she asked.
" Especially then. You'll look like an adorable elf," I replied.
" An elf? Ha! I doubt it. You'll look like a shriveled old... old... man," she shook her head.
" Wow... how did you know?" I wondered.
" I'm a genius. Didn't you know?" she smirked.
" I wasn't informed," I twirled her around. Then she stopped dancing.
" Now you are," she looked into my dull brown eyes. We closed our eyes. Our lips met. Her lips were warm and welcoming to mine. She slid her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and let her pull me closer.
Told you it was a remarkable night.
—
It was about two weeks later when I preparing to leave, despite Squall's futile warnings to stay. I had packed my things and headed towards the gates. It was nightfall and less people would out walking around. The cold had also wavered people to stay inside. It was the perfect time to go. The gates were secured. I had no doubt Squall had told them to watch out for me. I doubted he had told them of my fighting skills or how easily I could manipulate them into opening the gates.
" Where are you going?" a soft voice came from behind. Caitlin sat on the bench, her aquamarine eyes questioning even though they shown signs of protest.
" Why ask a question that you already know the answer to?" I sighed and sat next to her.
" Matthew, you shouldn't go. I know you're not one to follow orders, but please, just this one time," she touched my shoulder.
" I'll be fine. I'm coming back, remember?" I kissed her forehead.
She responded by violently clinging onto my shirt. I wasn't sure how to react.
" No... don't go!" she gripped tightly.
" It's not really a big deal. After this, I'll be back to show you the world. If I know the truth, I can finally put it to rest. I'll be satisfied and the better off I'll be," I explained.
" I know, but the truth is going to hurt. You don't have to be in hurry to find it."
" I'm not in a hurry. I plan on returning and working as a SeeD. Then marrying you... Besides, do I really want to be known as a Rinoa's boy or that Almasy kid for the rest of my life? I have to prove there's more to it than that. I'm not blind. I know how certain people at this Garden look at me. They see Seifer incarnate."
" I don't!" Caitlin became hysterical and brought her hands up to her face, " I don't feel safe without you. So please don't go away! I need you to protect me!"
" Protect you from what?"
" I was... raped!" Caitlin cried. She dropped to the floor.
" Who?!" I exploded. The man who did is going to pay! Murderous intentions came into view.
" Please, just hold me... I'm terrified," Caitlin wept. I kneeled down and held her in my arms. She didn't hesitant to accept it.
" Please put this off Matthew. Forget about the journey. Stay with me," she looked at me with watery eyes.
So I stayed. For her sake. She didn't let me help her. She refused to tell me who hurt her. Caitlin was always change the subject when I asked who did it. But she was starting to feel better. I wasn't going to stay forever, but for a while. I'm sure my father would understand. He would have to.
I loved her and I couldn't leave her crying.
A few weeks later, I saw Caitlin was talking to Selphie and her and Zell's cute spunky one year old daughter, Sonya, who was acknowledged as a prodigy. Nida and her split up two years ago and she married Zell. Zell's old girlfriend left him because she had to chose between him and her career. I hoped Sonya would be a better version of them both.
I sneaked nearby to surprise her, until I heard what they were talking about. So I waited and eavesdropped, even though it may have been the wrong thing to do.
" I'm not sure if I should tell him," Caitlin bit her lip, " It's really meaningful to me. Besides we're only seventeen. Maybe we should wait a few years."
" If you want to marry him sooner than that, you should tell him how you feel," Selphie said.
" Mommy love daddy?" Sonya squealed in delight.
" That's very true Sonnie," Selphie smiled.
" It's been so difficult keeping him here. He wants to travel and adventure. Part of him wants to put it away and move on, but another part craves for the past, and the rest of him is confused. I feel so guilty. I don't know how long I can make him stay before he finds out I lied to him," Caitlin said.
" Daddy say lying is bad," Sonya said to herself. Caitlin frowned.
" Lied about what?" Selphie asked curiously.
" It's not really up for discussion, but the thing is, I can't keep lying to him about it. He needs me to be honest with him. Matthew keeps asking me for that answer and I don't want him to end up hurting anyone. I'm so selfish and I'm not sure if I want to keep doing this, this guilt is driving me crazy. I'm worried if he finds out the truth, he'll leave and end up dead. Dying alone and lost in the desert..." Caitlin explained.
Selphie looked at Caitlin, obviously baffled. But I knew what she was talking about, even if I was too shocked for the feeling to sink in yet.
I revealed myself and stepped within a few feet. Caitlin's eyes watered with remorse at the truth. The rape never happened. It was all a ploy.
" Why did you do that?" I wanted to yell at her. She had never deceived me before. And I won't give her the chance to do it ever again.
" I'm sorry!" she pleaded. But I didn't say anything. I just turned and walked away. I didn't stop.
I packed my stuff. I wrote a quick note for Kiros, so he wouldn't be fooled by gossip. I didn't write about Caitlin. I only stated that I was leaving for a journey, and that nobody should come after me. Then I left the Garden. Left Esthar City. Left the damn continent.
I didn't know where to go first. So I went to place where it all started. Maybe my mother, Rinoa left a hint behind. Some clue to Seifer. I'm sure the Shumi knew something.
I rested in the infirmary quietly. I finally stopped bleeding an hour ago, and I was improving. It wasn't only the injuries inflicted when I was given the vision, it was the information that I perceived.
If it was right, Seifer was still alive. I wasn't sure how to feel about that. Was the vision of the past, present, or the future? I was seventeen now, but when I was younger, I had dreams that my father was still alive. In the dreams, he'd came back for me and my mom, and we'd be happy.
Well, he's alive, why won't I feel happy? The only possibility I could think of was that I've grown to realize over the years I had to depend on myself and my closest allies. I had unknowingly learned that those dreams would never happen. But new dreams had filled the void.
I actually had a destiny. Somewhat.
" Matthew," a refreshing voice said. I glanced over to see Caitlin.
" How are you feeling?" she stroked my face. Personally I felt like shit.
" I'm doing okay," I replied.
" I'm glad. I hope you can come to the inauguration party tonight. I don't want to dance alone," she tugged gently on my hand.
" I passed the field test?" I said, surprised.
" Technically you did pass the test by finding the guardian force. But it turned out that the weak guardian force everyone thought was there, was really much stronger. So everyone that helped drive it away was passed, including me," Caitlin replied.
" Aww, you fought for me? That's so sweet," I laughed.
" You know I'd do anything for you," she smiled then slapped my arm playfully, " Even though you didn't wait for Trepe to give you instructions!"
" I've been one to follow my heart," I kissed her cheek. She blushed slightly.
" Now you better get your rest, because tonight I want to dance. And you're dancing with me, like it or not," Caitlin ordered.
" I'm leaving tomorrow," I said.
" Leaving? Why?" she said, her beautiful aquamarine eyes widening.
" I know he's alive– and I'm going to find him," I replied. She knew who I was talking about.
" But you haven't seen him since you were a baby. You don't even know what he looks like. What makes you think he's alive?" she said.
" When I was on that cliff, the creature gave me a vision," I explained, " I saw through his eyes and I want to go find him."
" Oh Matthew. I know you want it so badly for him to be alive, but he's not. You were fighting and the monster wanted to hurt you more than physically. Besides, you might end up dead."
" No, I know what I saw. If he's in trouble, I will go save him. He's probably the only one who thinks I won't end up a lunatic, like almost everyone here would think if they knew my real last name."
" I don't!" she said.
" I know you don't. Let's not think about it right now. Tonight's going to be my last night here before I go, so let's go to that party, okay?"
" All right."
---
Later that night, Squall had came to my dorm. I was surprised. Rinoa's old friends were usually distant to me, because I had forced them away a little more every year. I didn't want their sympathy. Or whatever else they had to offer.
" I heard about the incident at the cliffs. There's a lot that's been spreading around. I'm here to stop the gossip and find out what really happened," Squall leapt to business first, as usual.
" Well, not much to tell. I fought the GF, and lost," I lied.
" Katrina says he did something to you," Squall saw through it.
" Yeah, he lifted me into the air while I was fighting him," I replied, " What exactly did Katrina tell you?"
" Look Matt, you had been playing games ever since you came here three years old. You keep hiding secrets from everyone, but I already know most of them. There's no purpose in going out on your own," he advised.
" Who told you about me going out on my own? Since when is it any of your business?" I said.
" It is the Garden's business, so it's mine also. Stay out of trouble," he said.
" Of course," I flopped down casually on my bed and started reading Kiros's old weapon magazine.
" It's a shame to see that Rinoa's life was wasted," Squall angrily walked towards the door.
" And you wonder why she left?" I snapped back. Squall turned and scowled. He was about to say something, but he just went out the door.
---
Walking through the doors of the inauguration party, I searched for Caitlin. She stood near the window, and the lights made her emerald dress glisten. Her auburn hair was let down and it flowed down to her shoulders. Sapphire eyes made her seem even more divine.
She smiled at me and we came to each other in the middle of the room. She offered her hand and we danced.
The night was full of spinning and Caitlin's lovely face smiling at me. Neither of us spoke, but it seemed that we understood each other better. As the fireworks shot off, blazing the bland sky with burning colors, people stopped to awe, but we continued dancing. The fireworks shone in Caitlin's eyes and it was one of the remarkable nights of my life.
" I don't want this night to end. Don't let it end," Caitlin rested her head on my shoulder.
" Wouldn't it be great if it was that simple? To freeze time and leave a moment forever," I smiled.
" Impossible though. Maybe that's why some things will never be forgotten. A moment can only last a short time, but the feelings will linger in the memory for so long," she gazed up at me.
" I'll always remember," I promised.
" Me too, because I'll never be able to let go of the memory," she leaned on me as we slow danced.
" You won't have to," I said, " I plan on being by your side for a very long time."
" Is that supposed to a proposal, Matt Almasy?" she giggled.
" I hope. What about you?"
" I've been wishing for years that you would hope. Our lives are changing for the better, Matthew, and I want us to be there for each other. To protect each other, to celebrate life, and to grow old together."
" And when we grow old, I'll be there to wipe the drool off your face too," I smirked.
" Hey. Who says it won't be the other way around? You'll probably be the one to break your back," she laughed.
" See? We're already arguing," I chuckled.
" Gotta take the bad with the good," she said.
" Who says it's not fun to debate with you? You look so cute when you're angry," I pinched her cheek gently.
" Even when I'm old and wrinkled?" she asked.
" Especially then. You'll look like an adorable elf," I replied.
" An elf? Ha! I doubt it. You'll look like a shriveled old... old... man," she shook her head.
" Wow... how did you know?" I wondered.
" I'm a genius. Didn't you know?" she smirked.
" I wasn't informed," I twirled her around. Then she stopped dancing.
" Now you are," she looked into my dull brown eyes. We closed our eyes. Our lips met. Her lips were warm and welcoming to mine. She slid her arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around her waist and let her pull me closer.
Told you it was a remarkable night.
—
It was about two weeks later when I preparing to leave, despite Squall's futile warnings to stay. I had packed my things and headed towards the gates. It was nightfall and less people would out walking around. The cold had also wavered people to stay inside. It was the perfect time to go. The gates were secured. I had no doubt Squall had told them to watch out for me. I doubted he had told them of my fighting skills or how easily I could manipulate them into opening the gates.
" Where are you going?" a soft voice came from behind. Caitlin sat on the bench, her aquamarine eyes questioning even though they shown signs of protest.
" Why ask a question that you already know the answer to?" I sighed and sat next to her.
" Matthew, you shouldn't go. I know you're not one to follow orders, but please, just this one time," she touched my shoulder.
" I'll be fine. I'm coming back, remember?" I kissed her forehead.
She responded by violently clinging onto my shirt. I wasn't sure how to react.
" No... don't go!" she gripped tightly.
" It's not really a big deal. After this, I'll be back to show you the world. If I know the truth, I can finally put it to rest. I'll be satisfied and the better off I'll be," I explained.
" I know, but the truth is going to hurt. You don't have to be in hurry to find it."
" I'm not in a hurry. I plan on returning and working as a SeeD. Then marrying you... Besides, do I really want to be known as a Rinoa's boy or that Almasy kid for the rest of my life? I have to prove there's more to it than that. I'm not blind. I know how certain people at this Garden look at me. They see Seifer incarnate."
" I don't!" Caitlin became hysterical and brought her hands up to her face, " I don't feel safe without you. So please don't go away! I need you to protect me!"
" Protect you from what?"
" I was... raped!" Caitlin cried. She dropped to the floor.
" Who?!" I exploded. The man who did is going to pay! Murderous intentions came into view.
" Please, just hold me... I'm terrified," Caitlin wept. I kneeled down and held her in my arms. She didn't hesitant to accept it.
" Please put this off Matthew. Forget about the journey. Stay with me," she looked at me with watery eyes.
So I stayed. For her sake. She didn't let me help her. She refused to tell me who hurt her. Caitlin was always change the subject when I asked who did it. But she was starting to feel better. I wasn't going to stay forever, but for a while. I'm sure my father would understand. He would have to.
I loved her and I couldn't leave her crying.
A few weeks later, I saw Caitlin was talking to Selphie and her and Zell's cute spunky one year old daughter, Sonya, who was acknowledged as a prodigy. Nida and her split up two years ago and she married Zell. Zell's old girlfriend left him because she had to chose between him and her career. I hoped Sonya would be a better version of them both.
I sneaked nearby to surprise her, until I heard what they were talking about. So I waited and eavesdropped, even though it may have been the wrong thing to do.
" I'm not sure if I should tell him," Caitlin bit her lip, " It's really meaningful to me. Besides we're only seventeen. Maybe we should wait a few years."
" If you want to marry him sooner than that, you should tell him how you feel," Selphie said.
" Mommy love daddy?" Sonya squealed in delight.
" That's very true Sonnie," Selphie smiled.
" It's been so difficult keeping him here. He wants to travel and adventure. Part of him wants to put it away and move on, but another part craves for the past, and the rest of him is confused. I feel so guilty. I don't know how long I can make him stay before he finds out I lied to him," Caitlin said.
" Daddy say lying is bad," Sonya said to herself. Caitlin frowned.
" Lied about what?" Selphie asked curiously.
" It's not really up for discussion, but the thing is, I can't keep lying to him about it. He needs me to be honest with him. Matthew keeps asking me for that answer and I don't want him to end up hurting anyone. I'm so selfish and I'm not sure if I want to keep doing this, this guilt is driving me crazy. I'm worried if he finds out the truth, he'll leave and end up dead. Dying alone and lost in the desert..." Caitlin explained.
Selphie looked at Caitlin, obviously baffled. But I knew what she was talking about, even if I was too shocked for the feeling to sink in yet.
I revealed myself and stepped within a few feet. Caitlin's eyes watered with remorse at the truth. The rape never happened. It was all a ploy.
" Why did you do that?" I wanted to yell at her. She had never deceived me before. And I won't give her the chance to do it ever again.
" I'm sorry!" she pleaded. But I didn't say anything. I just turned and walked away. I didn't stop.
I packed my stuff. I wrote a quick note for Kiros, so he wouldn't be fooled by gossip. I didn't write about Caitlin. I only stated that I was leaving for a journey, and that nobody should come after me. Then I left the Garden. Left Esthar City. Left the damn continent.
I didn't know where to go first. So I went to place where it all started. Maybe my mother, Rinoa left a hint behind. Some clue to Seifer. I'm sure the Shumi knew something.